Even if it hurt to be there near him, to yearn for him, at first I thought it was okay. He was my best friend.

I can't tell him…

Ignore this…

Around the years that he and I had become best friends everyone called us "love birds" throughout high school, even our teacher mister Lancer would call us that. Not only did we feel embarrassed, we denied this in perfect sync.

"We're NOT LOVEBIRDS!" we would screech. No matter how many times we constantly repeated this they could not just understand it wasn't like that. We were friends. Best Friends is all.

Nothing more…

That won't change…

We were comfortable with each other besides Tucker's constant teasing, we still had it okay and we would just have a laugh at it at the end of the day. Although sometimes I think Tucker saw more of what I felt than he should. He also knew me so well. The three of us were inseparable.

I enjoyed his company and I knew he enjoyed mine. I could always see it in his goofy, boyish smile. As much as I was in on keeping my feelings and emotions in check, it made me smile. I love that smile.

Feelings grew. I kept them hidden. I guess it didn't matter as long he was near me. I was content with him being beside me. I guess my stupid teenage mind got the better of me. I was just so happy knowing that I was beside him. Everything seemed right. Perfect.

It was ignorant of me to think that no one else could come into the picture. I knew it would have happened eventually… I knew. I just somehow thought that maybe, just maybe, I don't know…Although this is pretty stupid and I am very well aware of it, I thought that maybe he would feel the same way about me. I would think that maybe he would do something to prove it. I know I was important to him as he is for me. That in our friendship will never change. But the girlish-yuck I can't believe I said that- part of me kind of wanted him to treat me as something more than just a best friend and that part of me thought he felt the same way.

It's too late…

Soon after it made me ache being near him. I ached for him; I wished to be beside him.

I was in love with him…

Then I realized that what hurt me was not because I was near him. What hurt me was that I knew that I wasn't beside him. It was her.

Oh, yeah. It hurt not being the girl beside him. The place I once thought I could be… and it killed me to know that I never could.

I never could…

I just would watch as they held hands and looked at each other. He looked at her the way I thought he would once look at me. I would do anything to be there with him. I was breaking inside. It hurt.

I was too late… and I would never be the girl beside him.