23This is my first story to publish on this site! I am a Wolfstar freak (Remus/Sirius are my OTP) and I've been thinking about this story for a while, ever since I watched Overboard for the millionth time. The title comes from a line in I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz, a song that goes really well with this story! R&R! :)
~Moony
Disclaimer: I don't own anything you might recognize!
Remus Lupin sat curled up in his armchair, the tall lamp illuminating the otherwise dark room. He was reading a novel that he'd received as a birthday present that he'd been eager to read forever. However, as he turned another page, he realized that he barely knew what the story was about. He glanced at the clock again, scowling as he did so.
3: 39 AM. Remus sighed, closing the book once and for all. He tossed it onto the coffee table and leaned his head in his hands, massaging the bridge of his nose. He leaned back in the chair, twirling the gold band around his finger, a clear sign to anyone who knew him that a certain someone was on his mind.
He looked up immediately as his keen werewolf senses heard someone outside the door. Soon enough, there was a thud at the door and the sound of keys jingling outside. Remus sat up, as the door opened and Sirius Black stumbled in.
Remus scowled at the black-haired man who didn't notice his presence. It was clear to the brunette that Sirius was definitely drunk. Remus wasn't surprised at his lover's state, a fact that made him scowl even more. He got to his feet wearily and made his way to Padfoot.
"Sirius." He acknowledged stiffly. Sirius spun around, hiccupping slightly.
"Moons…" He started, giggling slightly. He stumbled towards Remus, who watched him disapprovingly. After a moment, he wrapped Sirius' arm around him and helped him to the bathroom, where he splashed cold water onto his face, making Sirius jump. He turned on the shower and helped Sirius undress and rinse off. Remus couldn't stand the smell of alcohol.
Moving to the kitchen, Remus searched the cabinets for a Sobering Solution. At last he found the bottle, with only a couple sips left. He sighed, making a mental note to get more tomorrow.
Quickly forcing Sirius to drink the potion, he threw him some pajamas and waited for him to come to his senses.
Sirius blinked a few times and looked around. "Oh." He said quietly, before changing into the clothes. Remus watched silently, keeping his lips in a thin line. Finally Sirius couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh, go on, already!" He said, throwing his arms up into the air. "Lecture me, reprimand me, yell at me! You know you want to!"
Remus raised his eyebrows, staying quiet. "Fuck, Remus, you're going to at some point, why not get it over with now, huh?"
"Fine." Remus whispered, leaning against the doorframe. He paused for a second before losing his cool completely. "Merlin, Sirius, what the fuck were you thinking? Where the fuck were you, huh?"
Sirius sighed. "We got back late from the mission, okay? You know I don't know how long those things take!"
"Yeah, and I suppose it was protocol to get drunk, huh?" Remus scoffed angrily.
"We finished around two o'clock and went out to celebrate, okay? It was Frank's birthday!" Sirius continued. Remus crossed his arms.
"You couldn't have called? Or at least sent a Patronus? Or something? You know how I worry, Padfoot, you knew I'd be up all night pacing!"
"I told you to stop doing that! I'm fine! I'm an adult, I can take care of myself!" Sirius retorted furiously. Remus' amber eyes narrowed.
"Really? Because, judging by your state, you can't!" Remus shouted. It was almost scary how quickly things could explode between the two.
"It's not your bloody job to take care of me, you're not my mum!"
"No, but I am your husband! And if I don't do it, who else will?" Remus responded in a quieter tone, taking a step towards Sirius.
"Look, Rem, I'm sorry, okay? I messed up, I get it!" Sirius said, half frustrated, half pleading.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. That's all I ever hear!" Remus complained. "You mess up and mess up, over and over again, and every time I have to listen to you give me pathetic excuses and expect me to accept that! And you know what the awful part is? The goddamn awful part is that I always do! I always forgive you, and I'm sick of it Padfoot!"
"What do you want from me, Remus?" Sirius asked hopelessly. Remus stared at him before shaking his head in defeat.
"What do I want? I want you to start trying, Sirius. I want you to grow up. James grew up for Lily, so why do you still refuse to grow up for me?" Remus looked at him, eyes burning with tears. "I'm so tired, Padfoot, I'm so tired of cleaning up your messes…"
Remus broke off, tears streaming down his tan cheeks. He put a hand over his eyes, and the other on his hip, trying to regain his composure. Sirius watched his lover helplessly. He hated it when he made Rem break down. It broke his heart. He just… didn't know what to do.
It's not my fault I want to have a bit of fun every now and then, Sirius thought angrily. And it's not my fault Rem's too uptight to have fun himself.
"I hate this." Remus muttered, wiping away his tears.
"This wouldn't happen if you weren't so uptight." Sirius froze. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Remus' head snapped up. "Shit, I didn't mean to say that." He said quickly.
"So now this is my fault?" Remus said, tears long forgotten. Sirius gulped before responding.
"Well, you could try to loosen up a bit." He said, refusing to back down. Remus gaped at him.
"I'm sorry I'm responsible!" Remus cried. "I'm sorry I'm acting my age!"
Sirius snorted. "Yeah right! You've always been like this, ever since first year. It's nothing to do with age! You never let James and I have any fun!"
"That's because your 'fun' always consisted of torturing others!" Remus snarled defensively.
"Oh, of course, Remus Lupin always knows best, is that it?" Sirius laughed derisively.
"That's not even what we're talking about! We're talking about how you," Remus poked Sirius hard in the chest with his index finger, "make everyone else's life hell just so you can have a good bloody time!"
"I didn't realize I was such a burden on you!" Sirius said sarcastically. "And here I thought you actually loved me."
"I don't know why I do!" Remus cried, making Sirius freeze. "Falling for you was probably the worst thing I did in my life. I hate the person I have to be when I'm with you, and I hate you!"
Sirius stared at him openmouthed while Remus clenched his teeth and took deep breaths. The two lovers stared into each other's eyes, Remus in anger, Sirius in slight hurt and hopelessness. As he stared into the grey depths, Remus felt his anger fade away. How could I say that to him? Remus thought. I love him. He knows that right?
Sirius drew back after a minute, a hard expression coming over his eyes, shielding any emotion from showing through. "Well, I'm sorry our relationship is such a mistake, Remus." He said coldly.
Without another word, he left the bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind him. Remus stared at the closed door, mouth dry and empty. He mouthed his love's name, but didn't call after him. Remus fell against the bed, running his hands through his tawny hair in complete hopelessness.
What have I done?
If you liked it, review so I am inspired to continue (I have a problem with finishing things I start... but don't worry I WILL finish this) and if you didn't like it, review so I can improve! No flames please!