Disclaimer: The note is a remix of 7 Things by Miley Cyrus, and the characters don't belong to me either. They are owned by the creator of Eyeshield 21.
Anyway, this oneshot is a reply to Hiruma when he asked Mamori out. Apparently she knows him better than he knows himself.
Hiruma walked to his locker, slightly embarrassed and very dejected. He had left a note by Mamori's things last night after practice asking her out, as he was told to do. However, that was not why he was sad. But we will get to that part of the story later.
When Hiruma opened his locker, a folded piece of paper fell out. "Che," he said, annoyed. "It better not be a love letter, or the girl is gonna get it."
He picked up the paper, opened it, and began to read:
The eleven reasons I can't date you:
Your guns, your lies, your bad disguise,
The fact that you like guys
You make me mad, you make me yell,
You're called a horrible demon from hell
Your tricks, your plays,
And your evil ways, everything's crazy
Don't wanna be with the you I know
And the eleventh thing, the last why I can't date you,
Musashi loves you
Red-faced, Hiruma started, "What the—?"
"Good morning, Hiruma!" Kurita said in his usual, cheerful voice, hitting Hiruma on the back and making him drop the letter while at the same time interrupting his thought and swear.
"Che, damn Fatty, what do you want?" Hiruma responded.
Kurita was about to answer when he noticed the paper on the floor. "Ooh, what's this?" Hiruma's eyes widened as Kurita picked it up, and he tried to grab the letter. Somehow, he missed, and Kurita finished reading before he finally managed to grab it.
Wide-eyed, Kurita asked, "You asked Anezaki-san out?"
"That's what you ask me after reading that?" Hiruma questioned. Kurita looked at him funnily. "Fine, yes, I did, but only because the Old Man told me to," he grumbled, still a bit depressed.
"But it says here… um… that Musashi…."
"Yeah, I know, now shut it, stupid Fatty!" the still-blushing Hiruma whisper-yelled.
Kurita eyed him suspiciously. "You like him back?" he asked quietly.
Hiruma's eyes widened, and his face completely reddened. "Wh-why would you say that? If I liked him, why would I have asked that Manajerk out?" he argued unconvincingly.
"Because he told you to?" Kurita replied.
"I don't…!" Hiruma attempted, wide-eyed and blushing, before giving up. Looking to the side, he said, "I don't know, damn it!"
Kurita looked at him thoughtfully. "Well, don't decide based on who you should like," he spoke wisely. "Just choose who you want to be with. That will be enough."
His face still sporting a blush, Hiruma looked up at his huge best friend. "Che, when did you get so smart, damn Fatty?"
Kurita beamed at the praise. "I didn't, I just like to help," he replied happily. Hiruma snorted.
"Hey, guys," someone said, walking up to the two football players.
"Musashi!" Kurita practically yelled, startled, while Hiruma turned away to hide his face.
Musashi smiled. "What's going on?"
"N-n-nothing! Really! There's nothing going on!" Kurita replied nervously, waving his hands in front of his face.
Musashi looked at him, confused, while Hiruma glared at him. Shrinking back in fear, Kurita whimpered, "Sorry, Hiruma…."
Accepting the fact that he had no clue what was going on, Musashi turned to Hiruma. "So, how'd it go?" he asked calmly.
Hiruma blushed. "Well, in case you didn't know," he started, sarcastic, "things always go badly when I decide to listen to people."
Musashi looked at him quizzically. "Meaning?"
"Che, see for yourself, Old Man!" he answered, annoyed, and shoved the note in the brunette's face.
Musashi frowned and took the paper, reading it quietly. After a moment, his face reddened, and Hiruma took that as his cue to ask, "So, is it true?"
Musashi gulped, and Hiruma smirked. Kurita was watching with curiosity, making sure to stay out of the way.
"Oi, Gen," the blonde said, taking a few steps forward until he was only inches away from Musashi's face. The latter looked up, surprised from being called by his real name—and first name, at that—and blushed deeply.
"Y-yeah?" he got out, his eyes trapped in Hiruma's gaze.
"Will you go out with me?"
Musashi's eyes widened, and he found himself unable to speak. A sense of excitement shot through his body, and, knowing he had to answer in some way, he closed his eyes and leaned forward until his lips reached Hiruma's.
Kurita blushed embarrassedly at the sight in front of him. It was extremely bizarre to see his two male best friends, who were both very masculine and extremely dominant, kissing only six feet away from where he was standing. He looked away, respectful of their privacy, and noticed that they had caught a lot of other students' attention as well.
Luckily, after a short moment, Musashi pulled back.
"Is that a yes?" Hiruma asked breathily.
"Yes," Musashi responded, smiling lovingly at the spiky-haired quarterback.
"EEEEEEEHHHHH!" someone screamed loudly, and the two were brought back to reality. They looked to the side to see the rest of the football team standing there, staring at them in shock. Well, most of them; Sena had screamed like a girl and fallen into a dead faint, and Yukimitsu was kneeling and shaking his shoulders in an attempt to revive him.
"Hiruma-san, Musashi-san, you guys are dating?" Monta exclaimed.
"Che, what of it, Butt Monkey?" Hiruma answered, glaring.
"N-nothing, right Monta?" Jumonji said, while Kuroki and Togano nodded and Kumosubi held Monta back.
"I knew they were in love!" Taki yelled, twirling on one leg while the other was straight up in the air. This statement caused the two men in question to blush, but it went unnoticed as the entire group's attention was on the team's idiot.
"No, you didn't!" the Ha-Ha brothers yelled angrily.
"Impossible!" Taki said, falling to the floor dramatically.
Mamori looked at the three. "He actually did know, you guys," she said.
Now the three brothers were the ones to yell, "Impossible!" as they covered their cheeks with their hands and looked like they had just seen a ghost.
Hearing this, Taki stood up and started spinning again. "Ah ha ha!" he laughed triumphantly, grinning like an idiot, while the others looked at him, shocked.
Meanwhile, a crowd had gathered in the hallway to see what the commotion was about, and whispers could be heard about Hiruma and Musashi's new relationship.
"They're dating? Really?"
"No way, I didn't know they were gay!"
"How can that guy stand to be around Hiruma-san?"
"The devil is dating someone! It's the end of the world!"
And so on.
Hiruma had caught most of the comments, and just as he was about to snap, Musashi grabbed his hand and began dragging him away.
"Oi, damn Old Man, let me go!" he yelled, trying to get out of Musashi's grip.
Hiruma growled and glared at him. "Let go!"
"No. You're just going to go attack the innocent bystanders."
"I will not!" Hiruma yelled, struggling.
Musashi turned around. "I'll let go if you give me all your weapons." Hiruma glared at him. Seeing his defiance, the brunette said, "Okay, then," and continued dragging the blonde away.
"Okay, okay, fine!" Hiruma exclaimed. "Here," he said, pulling out about twenty guns from random places on his body.
While the crowd watched on in terror and shock, Musashi looked at his boyfriend. "Hiruma."
Hiruma glared at him and pulled out five more guns.
"All of them."
"You don't even now how many I have!" Hiruma argued. Musashi glared back at him, and he sighed. "Che, fine." He grabbed ten more guns.
Musashi put his free hand on his hip. "And the grenades?"
Everyone around them paled and started whispering again.
"He brings all those to school?"
"How has he not been arrested?"
"I'll bet half of those are illegal!"
After seeing an extremely agitated Hiruma's face, Musashi glared at all of the people behind him, who immediately shut up.
"The grenades," he said, looking back to the quarterback and holding out his hand.
Hiruma sighed. He handed Musashi the rest of his weapons. "There. Happy?"
"Not really," Musashi said, smirking. He leaned close to Hiruma's ear. "Now I have to let go of your hand," he whispered, making Hiruma blush.
"Damn Old Man," he muttered.
Musashi laughed. "And don't worry about these. I'll put them in your locker."
Hiruma glanced at him. "You don't know my combination."
Hiruma crossed his arms. "I didn't tell you."
"You're right. But I know you too well," Musashi said, and went over to Hiruma's locker. After a moment, Hiruma's complex lock was opened, as well as the locker, and Musashi was stashing the weapons in it as everyone, including Hiruma, looked on in shock.
"What?" the kicker said as he noticed everyone's stares.
"Did you just…" Sena trailed off.
"…Outsmart Hiruma-san?" Monta finished.
Musashi chuckled. "Not quite. He's probably fifty times smarter than I am." He then walked over to Hiruma, gripping the other's hand, and they began to walk to class. As the two left, you could hear Hiruma yelling, "You said you'd let go!" and Musashi laughing some more.
Everyone stared after them.
"That…" Jumonji started.
"…Was…" Kuroki continued.
"…Weird," Togano finished.
"Yup," Kurita said, while Mamori smiled at the retreating couple.
So, is it any good? Anything I should change?
Thanks for reading!