This is just a random one-shot that came about because of a conversation I was having with someone else on the site (username: Tiffy44)... I wound up actually writing it out because I got bored... I'm sure I could have added suspects and made it into a story with a few chapters but it wound up just being a short one-shot...
Oh right... um... I don't own Detective Conan it belongs to Ayoma Gosho-sensei, if I did own it stuff like this would probably wind up happening in the real story.
Hattori Heiji's mysterious case: the murdered murderer
Kudo gotten back his original body and now we were working on a case together. We'd already identified the culprit but when we made our deduction the culprit ran and Kudo chased after him leaving me to finish the deduction alone -which seemed a bit out of character considering that he's always saying that I'm the hot-blooded one, but I figure he just wanted some action after being stuck as a kid for so long.
Kudo hadn't come back before I finished explaining the rest of the deduction. I'll admit, I was worried. I assumed the worst, maybe the cure for that drug Apotoxin 4869 hadn't been permanent like the mad scientist girl predicted and he either died or turned back into Conan, maybe the killer caught him off guard and attacked him (impossible as catching Kudo off guard is these days). Naturally to drive off my completely realistic paranoia I went to check on him.
Best case scenario: Kudo used that watch of his and is just having trouble with bringing the culprit back to where we were.
Worst case scenario: I'll find Kudo dead or a child... or maybe not there at all. The culprit will probably have gotten away or be asleep.
At least, that's what I'd thought. What I found, however, was completely beyond the range of my predictions.
Kudo was crouching next to the culprit who was sprawled on the ground in a really uncomfortable looking position. Upon further inspection there was a large red mark on his face that made it obvious that he'd been hit really hard with something. At first Kudo didn't seem to notice me but just as I was about to speak he stood up abruptly.
"No good... he's dead," Kudo murmured absently, still not seeming to realize that I was there.
"Eh? What happened?" I asked, unable to take the creepishly quiet atmosphere, "Kudo?"
"Oh... you were here Hattori?" Kudo said, as he finally took notice of my presence, adding, "That's convenient, you can investigate this for me."
He had me confused, I wasn't really sure what he was talking about, I tried asking, "Hmm? Are ya not goin' ta investigate it yerself?"
"Hattori. This is obviously a murder. If all the people that would have a grudge against this person were with you while you delivered the deduction then..." he paused, " That makes me the prime suspect. I have no alibi, there are no witnesses, and I have more than enough knowledge that would be required to commit such a crime."
Well, when you put it that way, he's definitely suspicious... but if he were the criminal he'd be pretty stupid to openly point out just how suspicious he is, unless it's a psychological tactic to make me think he's innocent...
What the heck am I thinking? Of course Kudo is innocent! There's no way someone as justice-driven as him could ever commit a crime then try to hide it, even if he ever did commit a crime he'd probably just confess right away.
Although if he did try to hide it... there's probably not a detective in the world that would be able to uncover it...
I couldn't suppress a shiver as that thought passed through my mind, "Yer innocent right?"
I'm an idiot for asking that as if the fact that I'm his best friend guarantees that he'll answer that kind of question honestly.
"I'm not sure."
Eh? What's that? Kudo doesn't know something? This I've got to hear.
"Wha'dya mean by that?"
"I chased him in my usual way, when I caught up he was already like this."
Crap, even Kudo isn't really sure what happened... no his tone... it sounds like he actually has a pretty good idea of what happened but he's not going to tell me because telling me what he thinks happened would be like tampering with the evidence, plus he was alone so he could change the story anyway he wants. Darn it, after that one time with the guy with plastic surgery to look like Kudo I never thought I'd have to try to prove Kudo innocent again.
"Alright, ya kin go ta where everyone else is, I'll investigate this fer ya," I said, hoping my tone sounded understanding and confident, but with how worked up I was getting I couldn't be sure how I sounded, "I'll definitely prove ya innocent."
As he walked away I could barely hear him muttering under his breath, "... and if I'm guilty?"
I ignored him -as is best to do when your best friend asks you really stupid questions- and began my investigation.
I first took a look at the victim that had until just recently been a culprit. The cause of death should be blunt force trauma, something collided with the victim's face and caused a fatal concussion... death was probably immediate. The question is how would someone pull this off without Kudo noticing -the guy's been paranoid ever since he put his identity out in the open and took down that evil organization.
The crime scene was a dark ally, no windows looked in on it so there was no possibility of finding any witnesses, unless Kudo suddenly decides to be more talkative about the whole ordeal. There was a garbage bin, beside which there sat a pile of used sports equipment: a broken tennis racquet, a deflated soccer ball, some bent golf clubs... nothing capable of doing enough damage to be the murder weapon. There was nothing else noteworthy in the ally.
With Kudo running behind the culp- er victim the murderer shouldn't have had time to hide the weapon anywhere and avoid being seen, so it's probably still on their person... unless...
No, I've got to stop thinking that Kudo could actually be guilty, there's no way he would ever murder someone... but what if it was an accident?
For whatever reason I began muttering to myself, if only to hear just how crazy this sounded aloud, "Ugh! Stupid brain! Kudo ain't de culprit! Stop thinking about him dat way!"
Still... it all seems kinda suspicious. Kudo's withholding information about a case and identifies himself as the main suspect but doesn't stick around to see what's going on... Uragh! I'm pretty sure I'm missing some important piece of information! What could it be? Darn it, it's probably one of those weird details that always stick out to Kudo like they're the most obvious thing in the world... why is it he's never able to help out when I need him...
Forget I ever thought that, Okay? I don't need Kudo's help on cases. Ever. Not even that one time when I'd first met him as Conan and he saw through a mistake in my deduction even though he had a cold and was in serious pain because of his poison... I would have realized I was wrong before the police left even if he hadn't barged in there...
Wait a minute...! Didn't Kudo say he chased the er culp- victim in his usual way?
Crap. Kudo really is the culprit. He even hid it in a way so that I would be able to figure it out as a test of me as a detective.
When he was chasing the culprit he used the anywhere ball inflating belt and his kick power enhancing shoes (why the professor made a pair that would fit him while he's Kudo is beyond me), the proof is the deflated soccer ball -it's the same kind that come out of the belt he probably put it over there so it would look normal with the other broken looking sporting supplies.
As himself he's strong enough that he would have been able to kick the ball incredibly hard without the aid of the shoes... he probably only used the shoes out of habit because he'd needed them as Conan and he still wasn't completely used to being Kudo again.
And with that the case is solved.
I jolted upright in bed. It was just a dream... no matter how real it seemed it was nothing more than a dream.
I looked down at Kudo sleeping next to me... he's still Conan. There's nothing to worry about. It's not like something like that would ever happen anyway... it won't right?
This isn't going to be like that one time when I dreamed about Kudo getting stabbed and then he did but he was protected by my omamori, is it? Kudo's not actually going to murder someone with a soccer ball... is he?
I doubt it. Kudo's smart enough to realize that he won't need those shoes when he gets his real body back... but if he does get a pair I'll just have to hide them, there's no way I'm going to let my best bud accidentally murder someone...
While I was having my somewhat panicked internal dialogue Kudo started shifting around and eventually woke up, "Oi, Hattori... there something wrong?"
"Eh? Oh nothing... nothing," I replied, I'm definitely not telling him I just had a dream where he accidentally murdered a murderer then hid the case to see if I could solve it. Besides, if I told him about it he'd understand what happened when his shoes go missing...
My stomach growled.
"See? Nothin's wrong, jus' a bit hungry s'all."