15Shane sat there, completely still and unmoving, trying to make sense of what he'd just heard. Reed, or Riley it really didn't matter which, they were both too innocent to do something like that. Something like killing his family. There was no way.
But Reed didn't look away, staring at him with wide dark eyes that still looked empty. He was watching for Shane's reaction but Shane was still too frozen to do anything.
The first thing he did when he finally snapped out of it was gulp nervously.
That was all it took for Reed's blank expression to transfer into an amused smirk. Well, he wasn't Reed anymore. "Scared?" Riley asked, looking strangely satisfied.
Shane had to swallow once again before he could answer. "Of you? No." Of what you did? Definitely.
Riley's smirk fell just a fraction. He looked genuinely surprised and Shane thought it was a nice look on him, something different than how patronizing he usually appeared. He 'hmphed' and fell back on the bed, holding out his arms and looking them over. Shane couldn't see his face when he did this, but judging by the sound of his voice when he spoke, Shane would guess he was entertained. "Well, well, look at this. Whose nice handy work is this?"
He turned his head to look at Shane, but Shane only stared back in confusion. "You mean you didn't do this?"
Riley snorted. "Why would I want to mess up my body? It would be harder to seduce poor souls like you."
Shane bit his lip. If Riley didn't do it then… "But Reed –"
"Most have seriously grown a pair to do something like this. I'm kind of proud of him, although he sort of fucked me over too by doing this. It stings and is almost guaranteed to leave scars. I don't want scars all over my wrists and arms, thank you."
Shane watched him talk dumbly. "Um." Riley's eyes snapped to him. "But Reed didn't do it…"
Riley looked him over, trying to determine how serious he was. He looked pretty shaken so he figured he was telling the truth. "Well, I sure as shit didn't. Who the hell did?"
Shane blanched. He had no idea what to say. He was just as confused as Riley seemed to be. If it wasn't Riley and it wasn't Reed, then who could have done it? He had most definitely done it to himself, but neither of his personalities could remember it. That was alarming.
"I don't know…" he mumbled quietly after thinking it through.
"I bet Reed did and just lied or blocked it out because he's embarrassed. He's such a freaking baby." Riley said with a sigh, falling back down.
Shane thought it was possible that one of them blocked it out, he didn't know which though. But he knew Reed was definitely not lying about it. The fear in his eyes when he saw the blood and bandages was real, too real to be fake. There was also another possibility that he didn't want to think about. Maybe neither of them could remember it because neither of them did it. What if there was another part of him that even Reed and Riley didn't know about. Shane gulped. Hopefully Riley was right. One of them just forgot.
"I'm sorry," Shane finally said, causing Riley to look over at him skeptically.
"For what exactly?"
"For not being here and making you –" One of you anyways. "upset. I'm not going stay away unless I have to, and on weekends I can't be here."
"Hm," Riley muttered with interest. "That explains a lot. Being locked up for so long you don't even know what month it is, let alone what day."
Shane felt sad at that. Feeling so much time pass but not knowing precisely how much must be hard. Everything about being locked up like this must be hard. And there was still something telling him the Reed/Riley didn't deserve to be here, even after what he just found out about their family. Something was off.
"So," Riley spoke up, bored with the subject of his mysterious injuries. He didn't die and the scars would heal, it wasn't a big deal. Who cares who did it? "Here we are, alone. And wow would you look at that, I'm already on my back. Can you think anything you want to do what that?"
Shane laughed a little and rolled his eyes. "I am not having sex with you, sorry."
"It doesn't have to be full fledged sex. Just some heartfelt hand or blow jobs would do." At Shane's unchanging expression, he sighed in resignation. "Making out is good too."
When Shane leaned down, Riley closed his eyes and readied his lips, but Shane's kept going, stopping beside his ear to whisper, "I don't think so."
He sat back up, smiling slightly while Riley groaned and slammed his fists on the bed. "Ugh!"
Riley spent the rest of the time trying to convince Shane that making out was a good idea. After all it was just kissing, kissing didn't hurt anyone. But that was exactly Shane's problem though, it did hurt someone, it hurt Reed. Every time they had kissed (which was only once but still) it didn't last long before Reed came back out and was terrified. And Shane was definitely more concerned about upsetting Reed by doing what Riley wanted than upsetting Riley by refusing him.
He thought he might like Reed more than Riley anyways. Not because of who they were or how they acted but because Riley seemed like he was Reed's defense to getting hurt or scared. He was certain Reed was the core personality.
It wasn't like he had spent his weekend researching Dissociative Identity Disorder or anything…
By the time he got back downstairs it was time for him to leave for that day. He spent the whole day waiting for Reed to sleep the sedative off and then staying with him after he did.
When he walked into the office Wes and David were staring at him intently.
"Uh, hey guys." He said awkwardly, walking past him to fill out the questionnaire he had to do after each day.
They didn't say anything only turned to watch him walk by.
He couldn't focus on writing when they were staring holes in his back. He finally gave up and turned back around to face them. "Is there something I can help you with?"
"Uh yeah," Wes said like it was obvious. "Since when have you been obsessed with 333?"
David answered that for him. "Always apparently. Man how did we not see it? You were the first to actually stay there and watch him take his medication. You've been disappearing every day to look for Dwight when in reality, Dwight's never seen you around the 1st and 2nd floor. Because you weren't really looking for him, were you?"
Wes spoke again before Shane had a chance to defend himself. "You've been talking to him all this time! You actually talk to him through his door?!"
Shane shuffled for a second. But they had clearly caught him, and like he predicted, they didn't seem that bothered, only curious.
"No," he finally said. "I haven't been talking to him through his door." He dug around in his pocket, grabbing the ever present key presenting it in his palm.
Wes and David stared at it like they didn't know what it was. When their expressions slowly changed, it was clear that they figured it out.
David's jaw fell open and Wes pretended his knees were getting weak, reaching out to clasp a shelf to keep from falling over.
"You've been going into his room?!" David all but shouted.
Shane quickly shushed him. "You want to say that a little louder; I don't think Mark heard you."
David clamped his mouth shut but that didn't stop the questions from flowing from Wes' mouth in a hushed whisper. "You've actually been going into his room? And sitting with him? What the hell do you even do together? What do you talk about? How has he not killed you yet? Isn't he evil?!"
Shane sighed, not sure which one of those to address first. "Yes I go to his room. He's not dangerous, we just talk, about me mostly." Then there was the one that bugged him the most. "He is definitely not evil."
"But his eyes –"
"Are beautiful." Shane involuntarily finished.
Their faces found a new level of shock and once again Shane cursed his loose tongue. Why couldn't he just think things through before he said them?
Their wide eyes met each other's silently confirming they were both thinking the same thing. Wes was the one who spoke up, mumbling. "You like him…"
Blood flooded to Shane's cheeks. "No, I…"
That was when David snapped out of it. "You have a crush on mental patient!"
Shane looked at him in disbelief, wide eyes flashing to the door. "Stop shouting! No one can know!"
"Jesus fucking Christ," Wes mumbled to himself.
The doorknob turning made them all jump and stare at the opening door in horror. Fortunately it was only Dwight. But he looked curious and alarmed, so much so that there was no need to ask if he had heard what David said.
"So… which one of you is it?"
Wes and David slowly turned their large eyes to Shane, who looked at the floor guiltily and raised his hand just slightly.
Dwight eyed him expressionless. "I figured as much. And which patient is it?"
The other two just stared at Shane, not willing to help. He got himself in this mess, he could get himself out.
"Um," Shane coughed. "Three thirty three."
Dwight just stared at him blankly. Shane couldn't tell if he was surprised, disapproving, or judging the fuck out of him. Probably all three.
A moment of uncomfortable silence passed in which no one spoke. Dwight just stared at Shane and Shane's eyes kept drifting from Dwight to his feet and back again. Wes and David just stood there, not sure who to watch.
Finally, Dwight said, "Why?"
Wes broke out of the awkwardness that took hold of the room. "That's what I want to know!"
Shane sighed again, his head falling back to look at the ceiling in irritation. "I don't know! I just like him. He's… different. There's just something about him."
Wes and David looked extremely curious but Dwight appeared indifferent. He took a deep breath. "Look Shane, there's something you should know about him."
Wes and David immediately perked up. Dwight never talked about 333. But Shane interrupted before he had the chance.
"I know. He told me."
Now Dwight did look surprised. "He… told you?"
Shane's lips pressed into a line. "Uh yeah. I've kind of been going into his room and –"
"What?" And now he looked disapproving. "That is a really stupid idea. Especially considering what he did."
"Yeah I know. But," Shane bit his lip, trying to find the words. "He's not who everyone thinks he is. I trust him."
Dwight's disapproval wasn't masked by his new suspicion. "You trust him?"
Shane nodded. "Yes, I do."
He was afraid Dwight would be so against this he would tell someone and get him in trouble, then he'd never get to see Reed again. But all he did before he left the room was say one thing. "Then you're a fool."
What Dwight has said to him was swimming around his head the whole way home. He thought he was a fool, but he didn't tell on him. If he thought Shane was in any real danger then he surely would have told someone wouldn't he? Instead he called him a fool. Maybe he knew Reed wouldn't hurt him, but he wasn't sure of that enough to completely let him off. He didn't tell him to stop visiting, just that he was stupid to do so. That meant he probably didn't know enough about Reed to know for sure one way or the other. Which of course meant Shane could very well get hurt even if he knew Reed would never consciously hurt him.
Was it worth the risk to keep seeing him?
Definitely.
He didn't think he could stop now even if he wanted to.
When he got home Blaine was the only one there. Knowing what he now knew (Reed was responsible for his families' death, he may very well hurt Shane one day just like he did to himself) made him feel a little guilty. Blaine was only against this because he was worried about him. And now he knew it was for a good reason.
But Blaine didn't need to know that.
"Hey," Shane greeted, hanging up his keys.
Blaine looked conflicted. "I need to talk to you."
Shane had a feeling he knew exactly what it was about. "Yes?" He sank down next to him on the couch.
"I'm sorry for being so…" His expression turned muddled. "Rude? To you about everything that's been happening. I'm just really worried about this." He sighed, now looking forlorn. "There isn't any way out of this that doesn't involve you getting hurt."
"I know. And I know you're just worried. Don't worry about it, you weren't being rude, you were being realistic. But I know what this all entails, believe me, I know." All too well.
Blaine sighed, relieved, but he kept the frown. "I just want you to be happy, Shane. And I just don't see a way that you can be with him."
Shane looked down at his lap and swallowed. He knew that all too well also.
When Shane got there the next day it was to see Wes and David waiting for him with knowing expressions. They weren't blind to how antsy he was and knew he had to be waiting until after the lunchtime distribution of medication so he could visit 333.
"So…" After an hour Wes couldn't keep it in anymore. "You're seeing him today?"
Shane figured there was no reason to hide it anymore. If they were going to rat him out they would already. He never thought they would anyways. "Yes. I'm going to see him every day if I can help it."
"You know this is dangerous right?" David asked. "If you get caught and they find out we knew all along, we'll all get it."
"I'm perfectly aware. Believe me I've thought it through a million times. And you two won't get in trouble, because you don't know anything. Right?"
David looked hesitant. He finally gave in with a sigh. "Fine. But I hope you know what you're doing."
"I do. I meant what I said yesterday. I trust him."
At least he didn't have to sneak off after the lunch round. He didn't even go back downstairs. After putting the empty cup back on the cart, he dug out the key and waved to Wes and David who shook their heads, still looking insanely curious.
He realized they knew nothing about 333, including the fact that he had Multiple Personality Disorder. Shane was the one who knew the most about him. Well, excluding Dwight but he didn't count that. Dwight found out by cheating, Shane found out from the source himself. And he couldn't help but feel a little smug about that.
He walked in to find Reed lounging lazily in the corner, lying on his back with his knees bent and in the air. When he looked over towards the door he smirked, and Shane could immediately tell it was Riley.
"You came back," he mused.
"I said I always would. Just not on the weekends." He sat against the wall across from him. "But about that. There might be a problem."
Riley frowned and sat up. "What?"
"Three of the people I work with found out where I disappear to everyday. They said they won't tell and I believe them, but it may be a problem later on. I told them you weren't dangerous and they know that I like you and –" He abruptly stopped talking. He didn't mean to let that last part slip. And judging by Riley's ever growing smirk and cocky gleam in his eye he didn't miss it.
"So you like me huh?"
Shane shrugged bashfully.
"And you don't think I'm dangerous?"
He shook his head.
"Why the hell not? Have you seen my arms lately? Or my place of residence? Do you think those are just circumstances that don't define me? Or is it just that you like me too much to care?" He was so boastful it was baffling.
Shane didn't really need to think it over, but he did feel a little embarrassed. "Both I guess?"
Riley snorted. He crossed his legs and stared Shane down. "I'm interested in this 'like' ordeal though. How much do you like me?"
Shane shrugged. He wasn't looking to be even more embarrassed today. Maybe he'd answer if it was Reed who asked him. Reed would have asked shyly, if he could even ask at all. Riley would only play fun with his answer and use it to his advantage. Not that he minded, but he knew where Riley would take it. And for the last time no, he was not going to have sex with him.
He cut right to the chase. "Riley, I like you. But I'm not having sex with you."
The smirk faltered a bit. "And why not? You like me, I like you, what's the problem?"
Shane froze hearing Riley admit he liked him. Did he mean in the same way? He tried not to look too much into it. Besides, there was more to him than just Riley. Which was why…
"Reed doesn't want that. And I don't want hurt him."
Riley groaned in exasperation. "Who cares about him! He's such a whiny little bitch, he'll get over it!"
"I don't really like it when you insult him," Shane admitted. "I mean, he's a part of you."
Riley's eyes narrowed. "No, he's not. I'm me, and he's him. What's so hard to understand about that?"
Shane stuttered, taken aback by how intensely Riley seemed to feel about this. "N-nothing, but I like him just as much as I like you. So I'm not going to do something with one of you at the expense of the other. I'm not going to hurt him by giving in to you." He smiled a little. "Sorry."
Riley rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He fell back down and stared at the ceiling for a couple of silent minutes. Shane didn't want to interrupt whatever he was thinking. He seemed surprised by Shane's concern over Reed. Shane couldn't see his eyes flickering back and forth and his confused but vacant expression. After the minutes passed, his knees laid down flat on the floor before he drew them up and curled up into a ball on his side. He buried his head in his arms. When Shane saw a single eye peek out from behind them, it dawned on him that this wasn't Riley anymore.
Shane smiled at him, and he quickly ducked back down, ears turning red. Shane didn't think he could ever get over the vast differences between them. Reed could be so downright adorable.
"Reed?" he asked softly. He was always so wary of scaring him. "Are you okay?"
Reed peeked up, just barely a glimpse of his eyes showing from behind his arm. He nodded quickly before disappearing again.
"Then why are you hiding? You know I won't hurt you." Or at least he hoped Reed knew that by now.
His arms slowly retreated back down until his hands were under his chin. "I know," he whispered and Shane tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered. "But Riley…"
The fluttering was gone. "But Riley what?"
"He said…" his voice was quiet. He stopped talking.
Shane bit the inside of his lip. Riley better not have told him something that frightened him or made Reed afraid of him. "What'd he say?"
Reed's eyes drifted down. "He said that… you l-like us. Is that true?"
He kept his eyes locked downwards until Shane answered, feeling relieved. "Yes, it's true."
Before he could say anything else Reed's arms jerked back upwards to hide his face again. Shane could tell by his red ears that he was embarrassed and flustered by this, instead of being scared, which was a major relief.
"Are you okay with that?" he asked, grinning to himself.
Reed didn't offer any answer other than a light squeak that was barely audible.
Shane laughed. He would gladly take that answer. A couple minutes of comfortable silence passed. Well it was comfortable for Shane, he just liked being in Reed's company. He had a feeling Reed was still embarrassed though.
Finally, his arms moved back down and just laid there, staring at Shane curiously. Shane smiled back. "What is it?"
"I don't get it," Reed said in his always present whisper. "You like us but you know what we did. Why aren't you scared?"
Shane had no trouble answering that. "I don't care what you did. I like you. And I don't even think you did anything wrong in the first place."
If Shane hadn't been watching him so closely he would have missed the way Reed's eyes flashed to this, quickly and then it was gone, a confusion expression taking its place. "You don't think I did anything wrong? I k-killed…" he gasped, grasping at his chest like it was too hard to talk about. Shane remembered how void of emotion he looked when he first confessed it, like it wasn't Reed at all. And then Riley came out not long after so it wasn't him either. Shane forced the thought out. There was no evidence that he had another personality. He was just grasping at straws.
His breath started sounding shaky and short, and his eyes were sealed shut.
"Reed. Calm down. It's okay. Like I said, you didn't do anything wrong."
Reed's eyes shot open. "But I –"
"No. I don't think it was you. And even if it was you, you didn't know what you were doing." Someone as innocent as Reed couldn't have done something like that. He wouldn't believe it until there was some proof. Because there was no way someone who was shaking at the thought of killing his family could ever actually do it. "Do you remember actually committing the act?"
Reed's eyes became glazy. "No," he admitted in a hushed voice.
"Then as far as we know, you didn't do it." He couldn't really say the same for Riley. But if Riley did it that wouldn't be as much of a surprise.
"But –"
"No buts. I like you. I don't think you're dangerous. So I'm not scared of you. And that's that."
Reed's wide eyes blinked once. He said nothing, only stared.
After a quiet moment passed, his arms jerked back up to once again hide his reddening face. Shane couldn't help but to laugh. Talking to Reed was always so entertaining. Not that talking to Riley wasn't, it was, just in such a different way.
Seeing his arms up so close, wrapped wrist to elbow in white bandages, made him remember what happened yesterday. A knot formed in his stomach thinking about all the blood and cuts all over his body. It was disturbing in a way that was only matched by the fact no one knew how or why they got there. And then there was the fact 333 had said Shane's name during his fit. Shane desperately wanted to know why, but who would he ask?
He settled for an easier question. "How do your arms feel?"
Reed looked hesitant to come back out of his shell. Shane worried he might transition to Riley because of it. He seemed to whenever Reed became too stressed or anxious. Which was another reason Shane was certain Reed was the core personality.
But he eventually spoke, still partially hidden and voice no more than a squeak. "Fine."
"They don't hurt anymore?" Shane would find that hard to believe. The sight of his arms, butchered with jagged, uneven, and deep but blunt cuts looked way too painful to be 'fine.' The memory would always haunt him.
"Stings a little," Reed mumbled.
Shane frowned. He knew what to expect but he didn't like to hear it. He wished he could do something to help, pain killers or medicine. But that was impossible. And even if he had the means he knew not to mix medications together, because who knew what kind of pills Reed was taking on a daily basis. He knew he had four different kinds, but he didn't know what they were or what they did.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could help."
Reed pressed his face further into his arms. Shane could barely hear it when he whispered, "You already did."
And even though he didn't think he quite understood, and what he said could have been misinterpreted, Shane still felt butterflies kick in his stomach. He felt happy about that, despite the circumstances. If he could help Reed, or Riley, in any way possible, then he would gladly take that. Even if he didn't how he did it.
Shane came back from Reed's room still grinning wildly. Wes and David weren't blind to this, but they didn't bother to ask. It was pretty clear that his head was in the clouds and they didn't really need to ask why. If they hadn't already guessed he had a major crush of 333, it was apparent now. He didn't come off his high for the rest of the day and it was kind of entertaining to watch.
As the rest of the week progressed, Shane would always disappear every day and stay gone for hours. When he came back there would be a permanent grin on his face, and he would stay on cloud nine until it was time to leave.
When he arrived in the morning he would be antsy until after lunch so he could see him. And Wes and David didn't miss any of it. They didn't know what they talked about or what he even saw in 333, but whatever it was he obviously liked it a lot. The way he was acting made it seem like 'like' wasn't a strong enough word.
It was in the course of that week, seeing Shane so out of his mind and head over heels caused them to make a huge decision.
It was fairly obvious that falling in love with a patient in a ward was completely inconvenient. There was no quality in that at all. What would he have to look forward too? Seeing him every day? And then what? There was nothing they could do together, not like a normal couple. They couldn't even see each other but a couple hours a day. And Shane wouldn't be here forever, he'd have to move on. But 333 wouldn't. He'd always be here.
So they both came to the same conclusion. Shane could never have a proper relationship with a patient. They would have to make him see that.
So when he came back down at the end of the day, smiling (and looking) like a fool, they were standing side by side, ready for a confrontation.
"Shane," David addressed, sounding stern and serious. "We need to talk to you."
Shane's smile fell slightly and his stomach flipped with nerves. "About what?"
"You know what." Wes said, voice matching David's. "You can't be with a patient. Be reasonable, there's no way it would work out if he's locked up in an institution for the rest of his life."
Now Shane's smile fell completely. He did know, it was all he could think about.
"So that's why we've decided…" they both looked at each other one more time, confirming what they already knew. "We're going to help you break him out."