Thanks for the reviews as usual! Now let's get on to the next chapter!


Thursday (Raining):

Tifa:

Even the sky is crying for me. My dearest love… My first love…

Gone like the motherfucking wind.

Can you believe it? He's fucking gay.

There's not even a slight chance for me. It's fundamentally impossible for him to fall for me. FUNDAMENTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

"Yuffie."

"Yes, Prez?"

"I'm looking for a certain Cloud."

"Um… I'm not sure, but only rain clouds today, Prez."

"Yeah… Wait, no. No. I mean I'm looking for a certain asshole named 'Cloud' in this school."

"Hmmmmn. Leave it to me, I'll find all the sunny and rainy Clouds from the database. Get back to you after classes today?"

"Good, good. Thanks."


Cloud:

Well, well. Don't I seem extra popular today? Kids are staring at me all day.

"Apparently you're being sought after."

"I always am. But by who this time?"

"The student council."

Wow, you must be kidding right?

"Student council?"

"Hey Reno, hey Cloud."

"Hey Zoo."

"Hey pretty."

"Reno, stop that."

"Okay."

"So, Reno you were sayin?"

"I don't know man. Why'd the student council be lookin' for ya?"

"Hmmmn. Isn't it because of Aerith?"

"Aerith?" Reno and Cloud choired.

"Yeah, the girl you used to date? Don't you remember, Cloud? The impote-"

"OH OHH OHHH AERITH OF COURSE I KNOW HAHAHAHA!" –you trying to tell everyone I WAS impotent that one time?-

-Sorry-

"I've only dated her for what… 3 months? And that was June last year. If there's anything she wants with me, she'd look for me. Plus, she's not in the council."

"Well, Tifa is."

"T-T- M-Ms Lockheart? Why? Why would she look for me?"

"Isn't she Aerith's best friend?"

"Yeh man, the two stick like glue."

"… WHAT?"

Great. So my lady protagonist from the horror series 'Cloud's impotent night' is best friends with my angel.

Life just took my virginity in the rawest and roughest way ever.

That little fucker…


Yazoo:

"Hey there, baby."

Oh god. Public toilet's here, stinking of weed at 9 am, with… let's see… one…two… alright seven guys.

"Hey, had a gangbang last night?"

"Wasn't fun without you."

"Awww, 7 cocks aren't enough to fill your pussy?"

Heh, love how that face turn scornful.

"Yo boy, what's that attitude, huh?"

Hmmmm, let's see. What do we have here? Looks like they're gonna fight me. Location… Old east wing corridor during lesson time, no security cameras nearby… no suitable items as weapons… Fine, I'll take them on.

"Seriously? In school at 9 am?"

"Baby, you scared?"

"Not really, well, I guess you picked a good time for yourselves, since medical consultation during the day is much cheaper."


Tifa:

"C- *cough* Cloud? As in which Cloud?"

"They're more than one person in this school with such a weird name? Wow, Midgar sure is fucked up. Parents shouldn't get stoned when naming their children…"

"No, I mean, yeah… well, there's only one Cloud in this school..."

"Huh, you know him, Rith?"

"Yeah… We used to date… kinda."

"Who is he?"

"Cloud Strife. School basketball team captain. Kinda like the coolest kid around, juniors are crazy over him."

"Oh… Our school has a basketball club?"

"EVERY school has a basketball club."


Yazoo:

"Well that didn't take long at all?"

Looking at all these unconscious bastards… Weaklings. All bark but hardly bite. I've got some wounds here and there, but at least I'm fine against a dozen more of these guys.

"Not bad… hah… hah…"

"What the fuck, Scarlet, why are you panting? You weren't even fighting."

"Fuck, Yazoo… You're so manly. Got me so hot and bothered… MmmmmMmmmm… why don't we…"

"Seriously? 10 am, school corridor, heaps of unconscious bodies and you're horny?"

"I think I might actually be a masochist… Looking at the way you looked down on me, and on them while fighting… Ahhh, turns me on."

The fuck?


Cloud and Tifa:

Yuffie: "Our prez is here to meet your club captain. Bring him over at once!"

Cloud (In his jersey): "N-Nice to meet you, Prez!"

Tifa (seated on a chair while Yuffie fans her): "I've wanted to meet you, Cloud Hive.

Cloud: "It's Strife, ma'am! But I will change it to Hive if it pleases you, ma'am!"

Tifa: "Anyway, I've heard about you." Being loved by Yazoo, lucky fag!

Cloud: Oh no. She thinks I'm fucking impotent!

Tifa: "Are you gay?"

Cloud: "H-huh? I beg your pardon?"

Tifa: "Are you perhaps a h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l?"

Cloud: Oh my god. Now she thinks I can't get hard with Aerith because I'm gay! "No, no way. I was just not caught in the moment."

Tifa: Oh. So if he was in the moment, he'd be getting it on with my Yazoo. This guy… "In the moment… Nevertheless I sincerely hope it never comes."

Cloud: Never comes? As in never getting it on with another girl? Or never cums, as in… ejaculate? "The cap will still pop with the right person, mi'lady."

Tifa: OHMYGOD. So he is indeed interested in Yazoo! NO NO NO I gotta think of something. "Give up on him right this instant!"

Cloud: WHAT? NO! Giving up on my little member won't solve the problem! It'll only deepen the problem! "No. That will never do. I can never! For my future, and for myself!"

Tifa: HE'S THINKING OF GOING LONG TERM WITH YAZOO! OMG THIS FAG! I GOTTA DO SOMETHING! "Seek for an alternative!"

Cloud: Alternative? Alternative? As in another way to get it up? "I- I do have an alternative solution."

Tifa: Good, good. "What is it?"

Cloud: "It's you." Only thinking of you can cure my impotency, my goddess.

Tifa: If sacrificing a little can get him away from Yazoo, ending Yazoo's love… I guess a step back is for future good. "Fine."

Cloud: WOW SERIOUSLY WTF! TIFA FUCKING LOCKHEART IS GONNA HELP ME WITH MY IMPOTENCY!

(Tifa pulls Cloud in for a soft kiss on his lips, after which she punches him hard in his stomach.)

Tifa: "Now we're dating. Remember your promise!" I guess that punch wasn't enough to satisfy my throbbing anger about settling with someone else other than Yazoo.

Cloud: *Cough cough* "O-Of course! It'll be gone in no time!"


Tifa:

"What was that?"

"It's a secret." I can't possibly tell her I've been crushing on a homo! "And oh, Yuffie. Don't bother keeping the fact that we're dating a secret."

I gotta let Yazoo know. And make him give up on that Hive boy.


Cloud:

"WOW! You're dating Tifa Lockheart! The most beautiful girl in the school, seriously? Wow, lucky guy! You even stole a kiss!"

"I know right. Man, her lips were tender."

"But what was that? It was so sudden. What were you guys talking about?"

"It's a secret." Can't possibly tell them I was impotent in bed with that A-a-ae something girl.


A/N:

Sephirotha 6/23/12 . chapter 5

Brackets unnecessary

But the way you're writing is unique...

I'll compromise, so I'll put it in italics instead if it is suitable. Thanks! :)

Juleezy 6/23/12 . chapter 5

Oh my gosh, that was friggin hilarious. At first I was a bit iffy from the homo love from the summary, but what the heck! I hope this will continue to entertain me. The cursing was fine to me though.

Hahaha, Thank you! I'm glad it made you laugh! Stay tuned! 8D