9Irate Wives and Navy SEALS
Enjoy
Beta'd by the wonderful columbine-and-asphodel, accounts here and on Ao3
Note: Due to a complaint I received on LJ I'd like to take a minute to make sure everyone feels comfortable reading this story. It's a coming out story meant to portray how not everyone in the military is ultra conservative or homophobic, as is the stereotype. The term "wife" is used as satire due to how everyone always mistakes Danny and Steve for being married.
X-_X-_X
"You're still the same crazy asshole you always were, McGarrett," Bram declared, throwing himself into the only chair in the hospital room.
Steve grinned tiredly from where he lay in the bed. He was more than a little smug. Let no one ever again doubt the use of a properly deployed grenade.
"Did you expect anything less?" Murray asked. He grinned from where he was leaning against the window. "As if some extended vacay would ever make Steven McGarrett soft."
"It was just great to be back, guys," Steve said, waving a hand in a gesture picked up from a blond seven inches shorter than he, but the painkillers make it go a bit wobbly, "to work with you all again."
Murray and Bram were the only two members of the SEAL team to visit Steve, but he knew Johnson was still being treated on base and that the others had duties to attend. Steve was just happy that the two members of his old SEAL team had enough time post-mission to visit him.
When familiar faces had turned up at Pearl and Steve had been extended an invitation for a short mission out in the Pacific, he hadn't hesitated. With 5-0 not having any priority cases, it had been easy for Steve to fling himself back into the thick of a Navy sanctioned mission. The mission had been easy, too.
The only reason Steve was in the hospital now was that their target (name redacted) had ended up having some impressive, and surprising, skills with homemade explosives. Steve had been knocked unconscious, and when he'd woken up he was already being treated on base.
"Yeah, yeah," Murray was saying, his words drawled, making the man's Texan accent more pronounced. He kicked the leg of Steve's hospital bed, "You know you miss a life filled with mystery and excitement."
"You'd be surprised at how much 'mystery and excitement' I still get on a daily basis," Steve replied dryly. In fact, he was fairly certain that once his observation period was over, he'd be returning straight to Five-0 headquarters where, hopefully, the latest and bravest of Hawaii's criminals hadn't decided to blow the block up, or take over the malasada stand across the street. Steve had the feeling that if that happened again he wouldn't be able to restrain the nuclear fallout from his partner.
Bram opened his mouth wide, no doubt to reiterate his earlier statement, when a nurse popped her head into the room. "Commander McGarrett?"
Steve looked over at her, and she continued "You have more visitors, if you're feeling up to it."
"Not exceeding my limit yet with these thugs hanging around?" Steve grinned, jerking his thumb at his two friends and former colleagues.
"You know you're not," she replied fondly, turning and letting the door shut again. Steve's team members had been rowdy but charming when they'd come in. They'd made a few friends among the nurses, so the staff was willing to bend a rule or two.
Chin and Kono walked in. Kono looked as if she were expecting a scene much worse and Chin's first reaction was to eye up the two SEALS surrounding his boss. Nick Taylor had made an impact, after all.
"Hey, guys."
"Boss," Kono said, smiling, "If you're getting yourself blown up, can't you at least be getting yourself blown up for island business?"
Steve leaned his head back, his eyes darting between his Five-0 friends. "Sorry Kono. I swear next time an extremist has the warehouse district wired to blow, I'll be on it."
"Damn right."
"You feeling okay?" Chin asked, stepping forward. He kept a reasonable distance between himself and the chair that Bram was still sitting in.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Steve said, waving a hand dismissively. "They just want to keep me another night to make sure I haven't shaken anything loose upstairs."
Chin and Kono exchanged a look. Steve realized then, when the usual, "McGarrett, you are beyond having simply shaken things loose," didn't come and that they were missing a person. It should have been obvious.
Steve's stomach knotted itself. "Where's-?"
"Running around the first floor like an irate wife, demanding to know which room you're in," Chin replied, smirking slightly "Kono and I were smart enough to ask at the nurse's station."
Steve rolled his eyes, but his smile spread wide. Oh, Danno.
"Wife?" Bram asked loudly, turning around to direct the question to Kono and Chin "What's this about McGarrett and a wife?"
"Well," Kono said, shifting her weight and putting a hand to her hip, "I guess I'd have to tell you that even though everyone thinks differently, they're not actually married."
"You keeping company with someone, hm?" Bram leered at Steve. "This is new."
"I am very honored to have a special someone in my life," Steve said solemnly, only to chuckle and grin again a moment later.
Murray peered sternly at Steve "I can't tell if you're horsing around or not," he said, crossing his arms. "You know the rules. If you're getting married we get to throw the bachelor party. Remember Anderson's? Best one yet. Yours will be ten times better."
Steve winces. No, he barely remembered Anderson's stag night, and that was the point. He had been surprised that when they had woken up (miles from where they'd started) that they hadn't been looking at court marshals. "Kono was just joking," Steve said quickly, "I'm definitely not getting married."
"Shame," Bram muttered. Steve thought that was slightly rich, considering he knew Bram still had the burns on his back from Anderson's party.
Kono looked as if she was just about to inquire into Anderson's bachelor party when the door behind her flew open, thudding harshly against the wall. Bram was halfway up and out of the chair before anyone realized that, yes, while the blond tornado that had arrived in the room he wasn't about to shoot up the place. Hopefully.
"You!" he spat at Steve, advancing quickly to the side of the bed. "You have got a lot of nerve, let me tell you that, my friend. You have to have the biggest nerve on this island, because I don't know anyone else who could be such an idiot and a numbskull at the same time! When I tell you that your Army Ranger bullshit is tap dancing on my last nerve that does not mean that you go and get yourself blown UP!"
"Holy shit,"Murray muttered faintly from by the windows. He straightened a little, subconsciously.
Steve smiled, carefree. "Howzit, Danno?"
"Howzit? Howzit? Want me to tell you, 'Howzit,' Steven?" Danny's arms were in the air and his face was bright red. "Howzit is that the post it note hastily scrawled and left on my coffee machine does not constitute proper warning for you up and leaving for some sand polluted hellhole! There are regulations, you complete Neanderthal!"
"You're not understanding what howzit means," Steve's smile was not going away, which honestly seemed like a bad move to Bram, who was leaning as far away from the two men as possible.
"Steven," Danny seemed as though he was going to launch into another spiel, but after opening his mouth he firmly closed it again. Raising a finger, he scrunched his eyes together, pointed the finger at Steve, then turned to Chin and Kono.
"I'm going for a walk." He motioned to the door. "When I get back, Steve better be either groveling or praying, capisce?"
Chin attempted to nod solemnly, but Kono just giggled. Danny stormed from the room, a hand running through his hair and leaving it in disarray.
"I think Danny's a little mad, boss," Kono said.
"A little?" quipped Chin.
"Nah, he'll get over it," Steve seemed sure, "just has to get the worrying out of his system."
"Worrying?" Bram shifted and squinted at Steve. "That aint worrying, McGarrett; that's bat shit crazy is what that is."
"Wait," Murray said, looking around. "You don't mean that's the 'wife' do you?"
Chin sighed, "In all but the paperwork."
Murray put his hands against his chest and looked at Steve in disbelief. "If that's the wife than I think you need to start planning more covert ops for your dating life, Smooth Dog, because compared to the threat level in the field that wife of yours seems like a headline news special waiting to happen."
Steve smiled widely at both his old SEAL buddies. "He makes a mean lasagna."
X-_X-_X
Steve AMAs himself a couple days later and goes home. ("Are you out of your ever loving mind, McGarrett? I turn my back for a minute, one goddam minute, and you check yourself out of professional medical care! How do you plan to treat your wounds at home, huh? Going to jerry rig something out of a grenade pin and peanut butter? I can't believe you. Don't talk to me.")
Murray stops by the day after, to give Steve a heads up that he and Bram were being deployed to assist another team. The rest is confidential.
"Well, it's too bad you won't be able to enjoy the islands for a few more days," Steve says. He hands Murray a Kona Longboard and eases himself into a chaise lounge outside on the lanai.
"You sure you should be out of bed and moving around?" Murray manages not to sound patronizing. He just takes the chair next to Steve and kicks his shoes off. He lays his head back and closes his eyes as if his next mission is to enjoy the ocean breeze as much as humanly possible.
Murray can hear the smug grin in Steve's voice when he responds, "The wife takes care of me good enough."
He takes a long drag of his beer and opens an eye just long enough to smirk and wink at Steve. "So that's a common misconception with you two, then?"
"Yeah, don't know where they ever got the idea."
Murray laughs. "I bet. Certainly doesn't have anything to do with the nagging, mother henning and general chain-and-ball type behavior."
This time Steve laughs. He looks so honest to God happy that Murray doesn't think one could really tell he'd gotten shot less than a week ago.
"Danno's great," Steve murmurs. He slides down in his chair a bit more. Stretches out, then winces.
"You two been partners long?" Murray asks, curious as to how the two particular individuals came to know one another.
Steve nods. "Pretty much since I went into the reserves."
"Godspeed."
They laugh again, and the topics switch up a bit. They talk about Murray's family back in San Diego and about how Murray's daughter doesn't have any of the Texan twang that her mama and he have. They talk about a couple of old missions, they joke around about some of the crazier things they've done, and they talk about island life. They sit, getting to know one another again right up until Murray asks:
"You still seeing that gal from Naval Intelligence?"
"Cath?" Steve gives a slow shake of his head and drops his eyes to his lap, a little too focused on his beer now. "Nah, I mean we still see each other now and then, but we're just friends now."
"Well, hell, I'm sorry, man," Murray starts to say, but Steve waves the apology off.
"It wasn't a difficult thing or anything," Steve shrugs. "Turns out we were just better off as friends."
Murray nods; he knows how that goes. He's got an ex-girlfriend who's best friends with his wife, and when he and the wife make it back home on holidays, they all invariably end up playing darts and grabbing a drink. Some things are hard, some things are easy, and some things just happen.
Steve looks awkward now, and though Murray may not have any extensive experience as a profiler, he still knows the look of a man with something rolling around that he wants to say.
"What is it, Steve?"
"So," Steve starts, not looking at Murray and focusing on peeling the label off his empty Kona. "I guess I decided somewhere along the line that on certain subjects you were always a little easier to talk to than Johnson or Bram."
Murray sort of gives a nod and a little shrug, letting Steve continue.
"So you know how everyone jokes about that wife thing? About Danny and me?"
"Yeah."
"Well, so that was a joke back when we started working Five-0 together…and after a little while it wasn't anymore."
Navy SEALs aren't the average grunt, but they're not astrophysicists either. They have an always ready resourcefulness and a whole lot of common sense.
So Murray can guess what Steve's driving at.
"You and the blond tornado are knocking boots then, huh?"
Steve finally looks over, not especially pleased with the neutral tone the other one has, but he's steady on when he says, clearly, "Yes."
Murray nods, sets his own empty bottle on the lanai then gets with the program. "Well shit," he says, slapping his hands down onto his knees. "How the hell'd you ever manage to survive that one? Don't tell me. You've become a master at 'one ear and out the other?' Have to gag him a lot, do you?"
Steve sort of double takes, then he throws back his head and laughs.
Murray smiles, then chuckles a little, too, knowing that it was a thing, deciding to tell him and all. "That man can talk, McGarrett."
"Yeah." Steve gathers up their empties and levers himself carefully out of the chair. He returns after a minute with two more cooled longboards.
"Well," Murray cracks his open and takes the first refreshing draw, "That's all right."