Hey guys, I hope you find this humorous. Enjoy

The meeting was starting and America yet had to make an appearance. England stared at the door with fury; if he didn't get down here he would curse the man. The door was thrown open and a young man came huffing in, eyes blue as the sky, hair like golden wheat. "Woah! Sorry dudes! I pant had to run pant a loooong pant way! Cheese and crackers, it burns dude!"

England gave a glare, " America, we do not care for your nonsense. Just shut your trap and sit down." America pouted, " No way man, I'm the hero and the hero don't sit down. THEY LEAD!" England smiled, " I brought scones for you, America." America screamed, " NOO! THOSE THINGS TASTE HORRIBLE! AIN'T SCONES, NOT THE ONES YOU MAKE!" England fumed, " How dare you! That's a recipe passed down from my mum!" America wailed before England smacked his head. "Oww~," He whined.

England huffed and continued talking. America looked around the room, his gaze ending up on Russia. Russia had his eyes closed, merrily writing down notes, with an innocent smile partially hidden by his scarf. America blushed lightly. He had a major crush on Russia and he couldn't tell him at first, the came the Cold War that FRIKIN RUINED HIS CHANCES! His boss told him he can't be a friend with him and America had been so sad he didn't eat hamburgers for three weeks, horrible days.

America pouted as he returned to his doodling. Then Russia and he had to always fight for stupid stuff, maybe not but that's not the point! Russia felt a stare and turned around to see America pouting doodling on his notebook. Russia smiled pulling his scarf over his mouth, America seemed mad about the smacking he got from England. Russia made a few 'kol's at England for smacking his sunflower.

Russia wished America would love him but what he knows is that America hates him in and out. This made Russia sour. He turned to little Latvia. He smiled. Latvia began to cry, and shake in his chair. Russia placed his hand on Latvia, "You deserve a pat don't you?" Giggling his put a lot of force on Latvia's head. Latvia began to froth at the mouth in sheer fear.

America watched Latvia being patted on the head by Russia. 'Not fair dude! I totally want to be patted on the head by Russia. Stupid Latvia.' America tartly thought. He paid mind to his bag when he heard a jingle. He gaped in horror. He brought the wrong bag! He had been coming late to most meeting cause of his belly-dancing classes. Yes that's right bitches! Alfred F. Jones (a.k.a America) was taking belly-dancing classes cause that's awesome.

What's not cool is letting one of the guys know he was taking belly-dancing classes. That would be horrible! He would be laughed at and Russia would look, it would be HORRIFYING! America made a move to stand up and walk away when England looked towards him, " Oh America, do have your bag? You still haven't given my money back that YOU BLOODY HAVEN'T RETURNED SINCE." Alfred paled. He laughed nervously, " Yeah . . . about that Iggy- AMERICA AWAY!" With that he ran out but during the process he accidentally drop the belt that had the bells.

Russia noticed it and picked it up. "What is this, da?" He asked to no one. The nations all looked at what he had. England furrowed his bushy eyebrow, " Correct me if you may, but I believe that is an accessory to a belly-dancers dress." France's eyebrows shot up," Mon cher, how do you know this?" England blushed," I happened to trespass upon foreign land once and these lewd, hardly clothed women began moving their hips to unbelievable movement." France gave a perverted look, " Oh~ did someone like it?"

England grew bright red, " NO I DID NOT! Unlike you, I'm a gentleman." France chuckled, " If you say so Angleterre." England began to screech and pummel France. Italy piped up, "So why does America have an belly-dancer in his home? Is it a girlfriend?" The nations blushed at the naivety of Italy. No America was not dating a girl he was having one-night stands. And as nations, they must find out this beauty and then tease America about it (except Russia, he was going to murder this woman or MAN D: ! Kolkolkol).

Alfred ran as fast as could only stopping when he reached amount of distance. Looking into he bag he paled in horror. HIS BELT WAS GONE. Alfred mournfully walked to the McDonalds across the street. While eating he saw Russia, England, actually everyone from the meeting walking down, and in the Russia's hand was HIS BELT! Alfred felt his soul being pulled out of his body.

He hid him–self and listened in to their conversation. "I say we put in back in the conference room-aru!" "But to whom does it belong to?" "Da, I agree, we should leave it at the room." "Oui~ I agree." "Well since you insist, I will do so." Alfred beamed. Wooo! He'd get back his belt! His phone vibrated, and he unlocked it.

TO: Alfred F. Jones

From: Isis

Alfred, you better get your ass over here in 20 min. and BRING YOUR BELT THIS TIME! By the way meet me by the studio this time we are going to practice out of the closed area and to the one that people can look in, sorry other people need it today

Alfred wilted. So uncool. Slurping on a giant cup of coke, he made his way to the conference room to retrieve his belt.

Meanwhile, Russia, England and the others watched. "So when we see the pretty lady, can I talk to her, ve~?" Germany glared at Italy, " Italy, this is not the time for your-! Hide, he coming out." They watched America walk out looking dejected. Alfred stared at the belt before blushing slightly, the male instructor reminded him of Russia. His phone rang, " Hello?" "ALFRED FUCKING JONES! IF I DO NOT SEE YOUR ASS IN THIS STUDIO, I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!" Alfred whine, " Isis you don't gotta scream it! Why are you being mean! Wahhh!" "Oh shut up! Hurry up, we can't start the lesson if you're not here nimrod." Alfred grinned, " Yes ma'am! Will do ma'am!"

He froze, "Ewww, my southern accent came out." He made a mad dash towards the studio. England leaped up, " What are you waiting for! Follow him!" Alfred dove into a small dancing studio that was kind of dark. It was kind of freaky too. Like someone was gonna- "AHHH!" A young woman with a large bosom, thin waist and big hips glared at him with hazel eyes. Alfred smiled, "Hi Isis." Isis grabbed him and let him to the middle of the room. "Richard! The idiot's here!"

A tall man with blue almost purple eyes and blonde hair (not as tall as Russia of course) entered the room wearing only shorts. Alfred pouted, " Dude, you're a total meanie ya know?" Isis smiled," Its because you are an adorable idiot that I bully you." Alfred frowned, " Hold the damn phone, I'm no cutie pie so stop calling me that." At this Richard leaned in, " But let's face it Alfred, from what we know about your crush is that you'll bottom." Alfred gaped. Oh hell no! He did not just say that he Alfred F. Jones, the living and breathing America was gonna be a bitch in heat.

"He's not saying you'll be a bitch in heat," Isis sighed. Alfred stared at her. "I don't read minds Alfred, get started on stretches, Richard help him." She disappeared behind the door. Alfred grinned up at Richard blushing lightly. Richard chuckled, " Alfred, I'm not Ivan." Alfred blushed even more and looked down. Richard grabbed his nose giggling. "Coulda fooled meh!" Alfred huffed out.

The nations stared in silence (Russia was thinking how to kill that man). Richard laughed, " Alright time to stretch." Alfred put his back to Richard's chest. His leg was up and Richard held one of his hands. "1, 2, 3, 4 lift your leg higher." Alfred lifted his leg up until it was aligned to his head. Richard dipped Alfred to the side. Alfred laughed, " Oh man, this is so fucking awesome!" Richard laughed as he grabbed Alfred's leg down and behind him. " Oh leave you to ruin a romantic feeling," Isis scoffed as she entered.

She was sporting a sparkly yellow bra-like top and a long green-yellowish skirt that started on hip along with a blue belt of bells. Isis threw a white long skirt towards Alfred. He pouted, " No top? But you'll make fun of my tummy!" Isis's vein popped out, "Alfred take off the shirt or I'LL MURDER YOU!" Alfred beamed a smile, " Aye, Aye bitch, I mean teacher!" Isis replied by grinning.

She walked to the door and opened it, getting stares from the males and nations (except Russia, only America had the ability to do that). She started to bellow out, "ALFRED F. JONES LIKES-" "AHH! NOOO! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUUUT UPPP!" Isis grinned, " You're going to dance very sensual if you want me to forgive."

Alfred frowned. He cried while taking off his shirt. He blushed lightly feeling naked as he put the skirt around his shorts only to have Isis tug at them, " No shorts." Alfred pouted and took them off; Luckily he had the skirt already on. Tying the belt around him he waved his hands up and down, " Okay dude! I'm totally ready for some awesome dancing!" The nations started to laugh even Germany began to laugh (unfortunately Russia had to smile a little at this) because Alfred dancing had to be the most funniest shit to watch.

Isis took out some black leather rope twisted into looking like something from an S &M manga. As she tied it around him, she let her eyes wander to the hiding spot the nations hid at. There she spotted the man Alfred called Ivan. He was like Richard but only in the muscle they held. She told Richard about their hiding spot while Alfred was screeching things that didn't make sense at all.

Richard sported some fancy black dancing pants that swished at his ankles while being bare-chested. She then took Texas off Alfred's face to which he argued. After a few threats Alfred stood at the middle propped on his knees. The music started. A whisper of flutes and roars of drums echoed throughout he studio. A mystical forest with a seductive danger waiting from the depths that was Alfred as he slowly stood up his hips making slight movements.

The serpentine music went faster, Alfred moved his hips up and down drawing his hands across his chest and to his face. His brilliant blue eyes glazed over from the overwhelming passion of the music. He twirled, his slim hips rocking side to side like a snake. Richard stepped in taking Alfred's hips and sliding his hands to Alfred's waist. As they walked back in a seductive sway, Alfred's eyes were half-lidded his mouth open panting from the dancing. Richard twirled Alfred as he slinked down rotating his hips.

They moved together, round and round, dip; fall, under, and over. The music ended with a clash. Alfred had his leg around Richard's waist and leaning back, while Richard was supporting Alfred's back and curved over Alfred.

A flash ended the moment of quietness; when Isis smiled brightly, " Look how cute you look Alfred!" Alfred looked at the camera horror. Richard grinned as he clasped a leash to the leather binding on Alfred's torso pulling Alfred back. He yelped but glared at Richard, " You fucking bastard! You were on her team!" Richard laughed, "Well it is obvious I would choose my wife than a dancing partner."

Alfred whined, " What about bros before-ACK!" Richard's foot pushed Alfred onto his knees on the floor. Alfred huffed and then smirked, " SUPER AWESOME MOVE TIME!" With that, Alfred leaned back until his head was touching the floor, aligned to his feet. He felt for the clip and unhooked it. Supporting his frame on his hands, Alfred twisted to the side of Richard and leaped up. "SUCCESS!" He yelled.

He started to take of the leather binding when Richard placed his hands on Alfred's hip, "Say Alfred, want to have a three-some with my wife and me?" Alfred froze. WHAT THE FUCK. Isis burst out in laughter, " OH MY GOD! YOUR FACE!" Richard also laughed heartily, " Well Alfred, I didn't know that was a horrible thought." Alfred pouted when he turned to the window when he saw the people he never wanted to see him (by the way Ivan was holding his pipe now and koling as he made way to enter the studio. Alfred shrieked (manly!) as he fainted on the ground.

Isis smirked as she sauntered to the door and opened it. Germany blushed, and coughed, " Excuse me for the intrusion." England meanwhile was crying, "He's whoring himself out!" Though he was impressed (more like he got turned on). Italy smiled, " Hey now that I think about it, America's really flexible. That is good when running away ve~." Germany face-palmed. Japan silently put away his camera. He had a good idea of a making a manga about this. Spain and France whistled. "Oh ho~! What a surprise! Such a body and I didn't realize America had a lusty body~honhonhon!" "Si! A body I should have claimed this long ago!"

Ivan rushed in glaring down at Richard smiling child-like, "So, you want to touch Alfred, da?" Isis stepped in, "Woah, calm down big fella, we just decided to help you. Now you can be the 'hero' and carry off this idiot." Ivan smiled, "I like how you think." Except when he turned towards Richard, "You touch him, I will cut your gut out and impale your head on my fence, da?" Richard noticeable paled but nodded nonetheless.

He picked up Alfred and walked nations were too busy bickering on who gets Alfred. Ivan walked a block or two before he felt Alfred stirring. He took Alfred off his shoulder and held him bride-style. Alfred opened his eyes to see a silver-haired, purple-eyed Russian smiling down at him. Alfred blushed bright red, "R-RUSSIA! COMMIE BASTARD LET ME DOWN!" Ivan leaned in and kissed Alfred on his lips. He broke apart gently staring into Alfred's eyes. "I like you very much, so if I see another man touch you like that I will murder him, da?" Alfred blushed and nodded. 'ROCK! ROCK! ROCK! ROCK! THIS WAS AMAZING! THIS HAD TO BE A DREAM!'

Alfred pinched himself, "Owwww!" Ivan giggled, " Why would do something as stupid as that?" Alfred smacked Russia," Shut Up!" Ivan leaned in and Alfred blushed as he closed his eyes. The kiss was sweet but it soon took a passionate turn. They parted to gulp in some air. Alfred panted lightly, his lips swollen and red. Blue eyes glazed from lust and bright. Ivan grinned as he went towards the hotel. They made some hot steamy love.

I'll be writing more for RusxAme! My favorite couple XD Hope you enjoyed this ^w^