Hi everybody long time no see! X) I know that it's been a long time since I posted anything, but I recently had an awesome idea hit me!
It's for all the loveless fans that love the ritsuka x soubi pairing! I just had to get it out here!

Also guys this is going to be somewhat different…soubi will be very OOC! And ritsuka will be more of the man in the relationship! XD not that he wasn't already…, he'll just be more of the man than he already is!

Warnings:

Possible mpreg, violence, abuse, and I might make it a little bit of a dark theme…but that depends on what you guys think of what of the first chapy!X3

Disclaimer:

I don't own loveless or any of its characters! DX if I did…well, a lot of things would be different….lol XDD

Well okay now that that's out of the way on with chapter one! XDDDDDDDDDD

Chapter:

What was once lost is now found

Ritsuka's Pov

It's been four years since that dark day.

Out of all my memories it's the clearest, and no matter what I do it keeps playing over and over in my head. I want so much to make it stop, and I try to, I focus on all my happy memories but somehow that just makes it worse because he's in all of ! Why does this always happen to me, it's like the world somehow senses that I'm happy so it's sends something to destroy that happiness. All I want right now is to see his face again, to hold him against my body and know that he's real, to look into those eyes and to see them looking back at me with as much love and care as mine hold. It's been so long and yet he has not faded from my memory, it's like he's been permanently been stamped into my life never to be that's how's it's going to be, things will pull us apart but I will always find him.

I will find you soubi and just like I promised on that day, andI haven't stopped looking.

And yet I watch the memory play out in the dancing shadows outside once more, almost like a movie.

FLASHBACK

It was a long day at school, and I moved slowly through the empty hallways letting my mind wander. I push the exit door open and look up only to see soubi leaning against theentrance like he always does. He's smoking one of those cancer stick again with one hand while the other was stuffed in his pocket.

I frown; I hate when he smokes in front of the school, and pick up the pace I get to him I knock it out of his hand. "I told you that I hate when you smoke in front of my school…!" I say with an angry tone. Soubi just smiles and crushes the cancer stick that's on the ground before saying, "I'm sorry…" he gently takes my hand in his and asks in a soft voice "Can we go home now..?" I feel my gaze soften and I nod my head before looking away.

After seeing semei at seven moons a few months ago he's begun to ask permission for everything again and would have these bouts of depression, but he has never stopped being there for me, holding me and the 'I love yous' have only increased with more sincerity. I glance over at him for a minute; his face looks serious and thoughtful today.

I wonder if he knows that he looks cute when he's thinking, it doesn't take me long to realize I'm staring and I look away. I can't help but think of what soubi means to me, if everything he says is really true, if I can trust him. With soubi most of the time there's meaning behind everything he says, and I'm starting to learn to decipher it.

Were almost to his apartment when it happens, soubi was the first to realize that something was wrong. I look up at him about ask what's wrong when I notice something off about the street. I feel soubi pull me closer to him, his eyes are focused and narrowed, and his body is tense and solid. I hold onto him trying to make this uneasy feeling go away.

After what feels like hours soubi finally starts to move but its slow and cautious, and only a few feet at a time. The street is unusually dark and the air feels heavy with anticipation, the sounds of the city slowly fade away into the darkness and there's no one in sight. We don't get very far when we heard footsteps approach us from behind.

It happened so fast… a loud smack it the air and then a grunt, I turn just in time to see something come up and hit soubi in the side of the head. Blood immediately started to gush down the side of his head; he swayed a bit as he tried to regain his balance and focus.

But the stranger decided to come back for another round, and tried to hit him on the other side of his head. But soubiregained his focus at the last second and caught the man's wrist. He yanked him forward before flinging him under one of the street lights, the man groaned as he tried to sit up, "Come on, that's no way to treat a friend…" he said in a sweet but deadly tone. I frowned, a friend? Then as I took a closer look and realized it was Nisei.

"What are you doing here, Nisei?" I said in a monotone, "why, I'm just following orders…" he spat. "What orders?" I say a twinge of fear in my voice.

It's then that I hearfootsteps; these were slow in approaching and confident. "Why mine of course…" he says in a knowing voice. And then everything clicks into place, when I look up I see seimei step into the light. I'm speechless as I gaze up into surprisingly warm and affectionate eyes.

I'm brought back to earth when I hear soubi speak. "Seimei…I..." he says in a pained voice. Seimei looks over at soubi, his eyes become cold and full of hatred and his face is covered in disgust. "Shut up, no one wishes to hear that annoying voice of yours..." he hisses.

He looks back at me and the coldness vanishes, "It's alright ritsuka, I'm here to make sure that it doesn't dirty you anymore." I look back at soubi, his hair now covers his face and I can feel a small trimmer go through his body. I look back at seimei and I realize that it's him that's made soubi so broken; he hurt soubi he hit and yelled at him. I can't leave soubi here I made a promise to myself that I would help him get better, that I would fix him.

I open my mouth to speak, "I can't go with you, seimei I want to stay here…..with soubi." I look back at soubi who is now staring at me with shocked eyes, I only smile and hold onto him tighter. Seimei smile disappeared and was replaced with a feigned hurt expression. "But I'm your brother, you're only family, how could you chose this!" he jesters behind me, to soubi. "…..over me?"

I narrow my eyes at this man that stands before me and begin to speak. "Seimei you know that I have forgiven you but you must see that what you've done is wrong, I love you seimei but I can't just look the other way it's wrong." I say softly.

Seimei looks at me with distain and coldness, "So be it, just know that you've now become my enemy…." He turns around and yells out "let's go! Come soubi!" I feel a bolt of shock run through soubi and I look at him and then back to seimei. "What! Why are you taking him? I thought you didn't care what happened to him!" I yell.

I can feel myself panicking. Seimei turns around, now his face is uncaring."I don't see why I should share my things with you anymore if you have become my enemy." He says in a boring tone. He looks up at soubi his eyes full of hatred and pleasure "Come soubi, I thought you wanted me to come back."

I feel soubi's grip on me tighten, "No seimei….I'm not going with you…I-I'm going to stay here with ritsuka….I...I…belong to him, not you." He stuttered the last part out, I could feel his entire body tremble in fear of what he had just done, but I looked up at him and gave him the biggest smile I could, and he smiled back. It almost looked like it was out of relief to have me there; he then looked back at seimei.

Seimei face went from bored and uncaring to complete rage, he snarled at us and then looked over at Nisei who was now standing, "take him, I don't care how just don't kill him I still have a few things to teach him first." He hissed clearly pissed. Nisei only nodded and I watched as seimei slinked back into the shadows. Then without a word Nisei also slipped into the blackness and all the street lamps faded out.

I held onto soubi for dear life as the uneasy feeling in my stomach turned to an ice cold fear. Soubi did the same but I could feel him tremble as one arm made it around my waist. Then out of nowhere something comes up behind us and yanks soubi sideways by his hair.

It was like having my soul ripped from body as I watched soubi hit the ground and continually be dragged away. A scream lifted into the air, it was soubi he was trying desperately reach for the person behind him, but every time he did they would jerk his head back so it would smack the ground.

Each time it sounded like a baseball bat hitting a home run every time his head hit the ground, I couldn't take it anymore I let out an enraged scream and hurried over to where soubi lay, screaming for them to stop. By then I could feel tears streaming down my face as I cradle soubi's head to my chest.

Soubi's eyes now had a glassy look to them and hair was now matted and covered in blood. His face had gone a sickly white as the color drained from his body. Why did this have to happen? This would've never happened if seimei would just let us be, I looked back up into the blackness that was still holding soubi, "please let me have 4 minutes with without you trying to hurt him!" I yelled out.

There was a brief moment of hesitation before it dropped soubi's hair. I look back at soubi, he's trying to look at me but his eyes couldn't seem to focus. I try to smile but it doesn't come out right, I lean down until our foreheads touch and soubi closes his eyes and smile's in content.

I only cry harder because I never thought even after all this that he could still smile like I just gave him the greatest gift in the world. He opens his eyes when he feels my tears splash onto his cheek, and he slowly lifts his hand and brings it to the side of my face. I can't help but lean into his touch and I close my eyes for a second savoring the feeling of his hand. I open them again when I feel a soft thumb wiping them away.

His smile has only gotten bigger and it's like he's telling me that everything will be okay. I can't help thinking that I love that smile because to know that smile could belong to me, that when he thinks of me, holds me, kisses me, that that smile would be there, makes my soul reach for the moon.

I open my mouth and whisper, "I've made a decision soubi…I've decided that I love you…" soubi's eyes widen in surprise, and in all the 3 years ive known soubi this is the first time I see him cry. I brush his hair out of his face gently as I watch tears spill down the sides of his face and land on the hard ground at my feet, he opens his mouth and say's "I love you, too…more than you could ever know."

I hold him closer, "yes, I know you do…" I say with a ragged voice, then I feel a fierce determination hit me like a bag of bricks and I whisper "I will find you soubi I'll never stop untilI have you in my arms again and whatever happens I promise that we'll get through it."

Soubi's tears only fall harder as I lean down and press my lips against his; I close my eyes when I feel him move against my lips slowly and tenderly deepening the kiss. Soon we run out of air and I pull away, to see him grinning like an idiot I shake my head in amusement.

Then my world is suddenly ripped apart once more when the blackness appears again and roughly jerks soubi from my arms, the darkness fades and all that's left is Nisei holding a struggling soubi.

. "No!" I scream and I reach for him but Nisei quickly knocks him out, and slings him over his shoulder. "I already let you have your four minutes that you asked for, now beat it!" he yells out. I run after them and just when I think ive caught up with them they disappear into thin air.

I hear my heart hit the ground with a dull thud as the realness of the situation began to sink in, I feel my knees give out and I slide onto my hands and knees. I feel empty inside, hollow I stare at the ground for a moment before I notice three little water drops on the ground. I run my fingers across the wet spots and I feel something inside me snap and I scream because at that moment that was all I could do. My tears, they fall harder than ever before but I don't care and I let my self-control shatter into a million pieces, I feel myself lose it as sobs wrack through my body as I scream and curse at the darkening sky.

End of flashback

The scene fades into black as it finishes.

I'm know 20 years old and just like I promised that very night to soubi, I'm searching for him, I haven't stopped since that night and now I have Kio, Ritsu, Youji, Natsuo helping me. It's taken four long years to find you soubi, and now on this day, Oct. 14 you can finally come home.

I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel the car stop. I look up at kio, waiting for an explanation; kio doesn't turn around but says "we're here…" in a soft voice. He sits there for a moment almost as if he's trying to believe that we're so close to getting him back.

I can understand why he's skeptical, for past year all we've been doing is coming up with dead ends until ritsu-sensei called yesterday saying that one of his informants contacted him with information that Nisei had been spotted about five miles from the school at a small clothing shop. The shop was just on the edge of the small town that seemed to be surrounded by a thick forest.

And now we're here.

We all scramble out of the car and stay close together, it was then that kio begins to give out instructions,

"Ok according to ritsu about two miles north of here there's a clearing where an old underground structure. He said that that was where the original 'school' was built, where it all started. He also gave me a map of the all the underground tunnels and rooms, but the structure is old so some parts of it are caving in so we need to be careful." He says in a stern voice.

We all nod and start our hike into the forest.

As soon as we start natsuo and youji are already talking non-stop but I can't blame them for hating the silence and the uncertainty about finding soubi so I don't say anything. An hour and half latter and I'm starting regret my decision, I've just about had it when they suddenly go quiet for a minute, then youji says something, "how do we even know if soubi's here? I mean what if ritsu gave us the wrong information to throw us off."

I can't take it anymore and I nearly yell out "why would he do that! He wants to find soubi just as much as we do!" they stare at me with wide eyes. "We didn't mean to make you mad ritsuka, we're sorry" they squeak out. I can feel my face soften "it's alright. I know were all on edge it's just….he's gotta be here." I say softly. "He's just got to…." staring down at the forest floor. Just then we all here kio shout "I found it!" and all of us scramble to catch up to him, when we get there we see kio hovering over something.

When I get closer, I notice that it looks like something that you would see on a ship. The door had one of those wheels on it that you have to turn to open, but the door was rusty and very old. Kio was trying to get it to turn but it just wouldn't budge.

So all of us grabbed one side of the wheel and pulled as hard as we could, at first it didn't move but then there was a loud screeching noise and it began to turn. After about five minutes the door popped open, we pushed the door up and saw a ladder leading off into darkness.

We sat there for a moment deciding on whether or not to go down. "Well no use sitting around up here!" I say and begin the decent into blackness. Slowly one by one I could hear everyone climb down the rusty ladder. When I reached the bottom I could see a dim light flickering in the distance.

"Kio, natsuo, youji get down here I can see something!" I yell. "Really!.., uff! Hey!Watch where you're going!" he all but yelled. "I would if I could see I would!" he hissed. "Guys! Hurry up!"

Once we're all together kio pulls out a small flashlight and the old maps, we all decide to stay together figuring it that it wasn't wise to get lost in here and be alone. Kio looks down at the map and decides that we go straight and that we all hold hands so that no strays away.

We were about half way down the tunnel when we heard a small scream, it sounded like a child. We all looked at each other in confusion until we heard it again; I was the first to take off running. I couldn't stand this uncertainty, and now that I have even the smallest bit of proof that he could be here I can't help but capture that chance. I can feel my heart beating hard against my ribs, and so many questions are racing through my head as we zig zag through the numerous halls and pass dozens of rooms. I hear the others yelling behind me trying to keep but I don't stop all I can hear is the child crying, when I round the next corner I come face to face with another metal door.

My sudden stop makes everybody else stumble over each other and they land in a jumbled pile behind me. I'm trying to catch my breath but my hearts beating so fast it just seems to slip away from me. I calm myself down and help youji and kio off the floor, after we all catch our breaths I speak, "the crying is the loudest behind this door…" I say in a hoarse voice.

Kio gasps, when he finally hears the small child like sobs floating through the air. His eyes are wide in fear and in anger witch is quickly replaced with a fierce determination, "let's get that door opened!" he said with stern voice. We all quickly agree and get to work on opening the door, the door looks like the first one we opened only less rusty and for some reason the light over this room was brand new.

There was something off about this door, but I can't tell what. Then I notice soft blinking red lights all around the edges of the door, I quickly pulled youji and natsuo away from the door before calling kio over, "Kio! Come here!" I yelled. Kio hurried over to me, his face full of worry. "What is it? What's wrong?" he said quickly. "There are explosives all around the door rigged to blow if anyone tries to open the door…" I say with fear building in my tone.

Kio looks back at the door, and now that I listen the childish sobs have gotten softer now and all I can hear is sniffles. Kio approaches the door slowly and looks closely at the red lights, when nothing happened I walked closer until I was next to him. "What are we going to do? Do you have a plan?" I ask as I watched kio carefully.

"Yeah, these explosive look very old and they all seemed to be tethered to each other by this thin string, so if we cut the sting and gently pull them away from the wall then we should be able to open the door without sitting off the trap." I nod as I try to push away an uneasy feeling away, as I start to look for something sharp to cut the string. The zeros also join in and before long we find a sharp piece of glass that does the trick.

Know we move the actual explosives; this part was harder because we had to be very gentle when we pulled them off but we managed to get them all off. After that kio pulled out the map and told the zeros to take the explosives two room's down, put them in the furthest part of the room then leave as quickly as possible.

They also had to close the door behind them to. After kio sent them off we got to work on trying to open the door, I took a deep breath before grabbing the wheel along with kio and turned it as hard the as I could. And just like the first door it didn't budge at first but then it slowly began to turn, and it wasn't long before the door unlocked and I pulled the heavy thing open.

By the time we opened the door the zero had made it back from disposing the explosive. There was no light in the room and small cry's lift into the air once more, we all looked at each other and took a deep breath before kio pulls out his small flashlight again and switches it on.

We slowly make our way into the room trying to make sure we didn't bump into anything. My heart ached so much from the need to find soubi again, that my chest hurt. I stopped again when I heard a muffled cry and tried to find where it was coming from. "Kio anyway you could make brighter in here?" I ask quickly.

"Yeah, I'm on it." He said in a slightly annoyed tone. He was taking his flashlight and running it across the wall looking for light switch, "found it!" he yells. He flips it and a very dim light comes on. We all gasp at what we see, and all I can think at the moment is that my brother was a dead man when I found him.

To be continued

Okay so there's the first chapter!….please don't kill meeee! I just….I wanted…look there aren't many people that have written a story where it's soubi that gets taken from ritsuka and the ones that are out there are good but not exactly what I was looking for. And there aren't many loveless mpreg out there either and I thought why not smash the two things I want most.

I've been sitting on this idea for months now! And now I just want to get this out of my head and onto paper and out there to anyone else who has been dying to read a loveless mpreg that has soubi carrying the child for once, just like I have….if ya want something done you gotta do it yourself XDDDD. If you have any suggestions or have good idea that might go well with the story let me know through a review or private message. Also please be kind this is only my second time doing this, I'm going to give the story my all but I'm still not very good so bear with me!X3 I hope someone out there will enjoy this story as much as did writing it, criticism is welcomed just no flames please kindness is appreciated.

Ya I know this is very out of the ordinary but hey I can't help it, the idea just wouldn't go away… anyway please read and review and I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes I missed I hope there aren't any ive combed through this story a million times..!X)

Second chappy is being started and will be up soon!

See ya a round

Irockyourworld123~