I guess you could say this is an I'm-still-alive fanfiction and just me putting my thoughts to paper about the anime, kind of like with my Vampire Knight one. I really don't think you should be reading fanfictions if you haven't finished the anime or aren't caught up, but I'll tell you that this particular fanfiction of mine contains somewhat big spoilers.

So I envision this moment happening after episode 24, when L takes off the chain from him and Light, and before L's death in episode 25. I don't really put much of a setting in this story since two geniuses wouldn't go around describing the scenery and their actions, but Light was asked by the rest of the task force, to go wake up L. Also, this is NOT A LxLIGHT fanfiction. I think L was really attached to Light, in a friendship way or a crush I don't know, just very fond of Light. So in my view this is just L caring about Light, I didn't even decide if it was as a crush or not. So you people can take this any way you want. I just wrote the story thinking L cared, not debating in which form.

Disclaimer: I seriously don't know why anyone would believe I own this anime/manga. Isn't the websites title FANfiction enough to tell it's not an original idea. Oh well, I guess I'll put it up just to be safe. I don't own this anime and/or any of its franchise.

Please Let Me Lose

'What fools.'

Light Yagami walked slowly, leisurely, but most of all, without any cause for suspicion. He truly was a great actor.

'I'm a step ahead of everyone, but I don't even have to try with those incompetent excuses for cops.' The man smiled, a bloody reddish tint to his squinting eyes. 'I'm even surprised L hasn't been more suspicious.' His smile turned hideous with the effort to suppress a cackle. But suddenly the smirk and blood thirst were gone without any trace.

'Please knock'

Light mentally scoffed, his lids hiding the rotten mirth in his eyes. 'L is a fool if he thinks putting up this sign makes him any bit safer. Oh well, I'll humor him.'

*Knock, knock*

...'Damn him, he's probably in there laughing at some silly speculation of his, some ridiculous reason about how Kira would knock.' Light's smirk now showed an ivory set of bones, gates to the waiting lies. He opened the curiously unlocked door. But his eyes then squinted in an icy glare, seeing the detective having the nerve to ignore him, laying asleep still on his bed. 'He obviously made the door soundproof just to mess with me. This guy, he even sleeps weird.' Light watched as L laid in his standard crouch form, his back to him. He came closer, a sneer coming on full force at how careless the beloved L was being. Just when he was about to shake him awake, then apologize for being 'accidentally' rough, his heart stopped.

"Light-kun, I wish you weren't Kira, you know."

*Tick, tick*

'Calm down, this is probably another test of his.'

"What are you talking about, Ryu-"

"You're wasting you're breath, I've known for a while now with certainty that you're Kira, Light-kun."

'I-Idiot! There's no way you know without proof! And you'd have to be stupider than those cops to not capture me right away if you did! This is another bluff, or have you finally gone mad from all that sugar?' Light Yagami calmed himself as he faked that sickly sweet tone of his.

"Ryuzaki, are you feeling okay? The L I know wouldn't say something so-"

"I won't tell anyone, I won't capture you either. That's why I haven't made any moves, since I'm sure you're wondering. I was hoping you'd kill me before these feeling became too much for me."

The brunette looked strangely like a wild animal as his furious eyes became shadowed, and his mouth set tight with a scowl. In a flash and a click, his watch separated to show a small scrap of paper. And still L made no move.

'Has this guy turned suicidal?'

"What's the matter? You know my name don't you? I was sure Misa had the shinigami eyes we heard about."

'Is that what this is about? Is he teasing me?'

"Just how much do you know, Eru?" Light chuckled, his lip twitching maniacally. His laugh ceased as L finally lifted his head. What happened next was the longest pause of Light's life. And then L turned his head.

'What...what is this?' Light inspected with his eyes wide the bags under L's eyes. His eyes were blank, purple and dark blue now surrounding them lightly. An empty smile appeared just below.

"You can put away the paper if you're not going to kill me." Kira snapped out of his trance, his mind going over light-years worth of possibilities. "Come sit, Light-kun."

Red eyes squinted in suspicion, legs walked slowly in fear. A few year-long seconds later, Light sat facing L. He gasped as L's smile turned genuine.

"I regret giving into my emotions, but I'm glad I did it this case and not another." The brunette made no move, the aloof position of his enemy only making his own muscles tense.

"What are you up to?" Light then snapped to the right, not having noticed L reaching a hand to brush away his hair until he felt cool skin touch his furious, sweating one. He glared at the following laugh.

"I really am not going to hurt you, Kira. If I'm going to die anyway, I might as well let you know, I can't." Light turned back at this, his eyes finally losing the warm and sticky hues of blood.


"I couldn't kill you even if I wanted to, Light-kun." Light didn't even flinch as L dropped his head on his shoulder.

"Why-why? Why are you just letting me go? Why are you being so bold? Is this a joke? Why would you get so close if you really think I'm Kira?"

"Because, Light and Kira are the same person."


"Light-kun, how unbecoming of the guy who will take my place once I'm gone. I even told you remember? You, are the best friend I've ever had. You mean more to me, than all the people in the world. Come on, Light-kun, even Matsuda would be able to figure that out from how I'm not turning you in, how I'm letting you keep killing."

"Don't mess with me! That was obviously a lie to lull me into a sense of false securi-"

"You're wrong."


Light turned, anticipating the usual 'eye for an eye' lecture and a kick to his head. It never came.

"Who are you? L would never just take anything! He'd kick me for punching him! Who are you?" Light watched as L stood up. He felt like screaming when he saw L flash the biggest grin he'd seen the detective make, his eyes closed in pure glee.

"That's the me that hadn't met you you're talking about. It's true I usually hate losing. But I've never been happier at having lost than I am now."


I don't know if it was just me who felt like L was ok with his death in episode 25. He just seemed sad at saying goodbye but didn't seem too angry at having lost. I think he was just enjoying his time with Light at that point. I really wish L hadn't died but I feel like he wouldn't be what he is to most fans and me if he hadn't. And if you guys feel Light is making somewhat weird predictions, I meant it that way, since I think around this time he's already going a little insane.