IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ: a/n- Okay, so before you read this go listen to "Fucking Best Song Ever" by Wallpaper. If you haven't heard that, this won't make much sense. This is just a pointless drabble. For some reason, I kept seeing this scene in my head so I just decided to write it. It didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to, but I decided to just post it anyway. I promise the ones to come will be better, so please story alert it so you can see those. Also, the title of this collection is from the song 'tongue tied' by grouplove. They performed it on Glee as well. Okay, go listen to the song, I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'fucking best song ever' by Wallpaper, nor do I own glee. If I did, Rachel and Finn would not have lasted as long as they had...
Puck enters his apartment quietly at two a.m. because he knows Rachel's probably passed out after rehearsal and he doesn't want to wake her. He smells like smoke from work and he's tired as hell and he just wants to take a shower and then curl up and cuddle (fuck you, his girl's hot, he likes being all wrapped up with her). As he walks into his apartment he hears giggles and realizes that his girl's definitely not asleep and is instead partying in the kitchen with her best friend. He pauses before he enters because her and Santana can get a little crazy and who knows what he's going to find?
He enters and sees Rachel and Santana drunk and giggling on the floor, falling all over each other. There's margaritas in their hands and (vegan) pizza on the floor (no plate, could only happen when Rachel's drunk) and even though he's tired, he can't help but grin at seeing their craziness. Rachel's wearing his FDNY shirt and nothing else and Santana is legit wearing just her bra and underwear, but Puck still thinks Rachel is the hottest thing he's ever seen.
"Noahhhh!" Rachel shrieks when she sees him, before hopping up and jumping into his arms. He expected as much, and he catches her before attaching their lips in a very hot kiss. He doesn't take it further though because Santana's there and they're drunk and even though they've gone down that road before (and it was fucking hot), they promised it'd be a one-time thing.
"B, what are you doing?" He says. "And why do you have margaritas and microwave pizza on the floor?"
"The song!" She squeals, and Santana hits a button on her phone and the music for "Fucking Best Song Ever" by Wallpaper starts to play and then he gets it.
See, Rachel and Santana have this weird thing where they get drunk and sing songs and they're always very… literal. Puck will never forget the time when he came home to find them singing Don't Rain on My Parade while sculpting balls of butter. So, he pulls up a chair and watches them because he knows it's going to be a while and there is no way he can go to sleep with them in the house.
So, he watches them as they begin to sing.
"My name's Santana and I'm an alcoholic…" Santana drawls. "Not for real, but what else do you caaaaaall this?"
Rachel and Santana sing the next lines about being in a club to each other and he rolls his eyes. He knows it's totally fucking gay (he'd never let Rachel hear him say that though. But, obviously he doesn't mean it like that. For fuck's sake, Blaine is his best friend!) to say this but, these girls are silly. Seriously. He doesn't know what other word for it, besides bat shit crazy. Okay, they're bat shit crazy and silly.
Santana sings the next lines while Rachel climbs onto his lap.
"Look, Noah!" she giggles. "You have a college grad chick straddling you, just like the song!" She says before pecking him on the lips and getting up.
"Ch-ch-check my Spanish!" They sing and then begin to dance together, singing the lines while looking into each other's eyes.
"Mamacita, te necesito. Soy ebrio. That's all the words I know." Rachel presses a chaste kiss to Santana's lips and when they pull apart Santana raises an eyebrow at Puck. He just rolls his eyes though, because yeah Santana had feelings for Rach for a while, but Rachel was more than content with him. And now Santana is head over heels for some chick named Stacy so he's not worried.
He watches them dance around the kitchen and grins, because Rachel's his girl, and Santana's one of his best friends, and they're basically the two most important people in the world to him. Maybe it's a pussy thing to say, but seeing them so happy makes him happy.
Rachel falls into his lap and he pulls her closer, kissing her neck and grinning when she lets out a content sigh. Santana climbs onto the table next to him and sings the next part to the both of them.
"Best friends, you are my fucking best friends!" She sings, placing her hand against Rachel's cheek lovingly. Rachel just starts to lean into it before Santana pulls back and continues to dance. "Seriously, it's like the best night ever!"
She hops off the table and pulls Rachel out of his lap and although he'd never admit this, he whines. What? He liked having her against him!
Now she and Santana are twirling around the kitchen, screaming the lyrics. He's really fucking glad they have the penthouse apartment suite because he wouldn't want some angry neighbor to start pounding on the wall.
"This song? I'm really feeling this song! This song? Fucking best song ever!" Then they fall on the ground in a fit of giggles and he rolls his eyes before taking Santana's phone and turning it off.
"Noooooaaaaahhh!" Rachel whines. "We haven't gotten to the bit about margaritas and microwave pizzas yet!" She squeals.
"Puuuuuuuuuuck." Santana says because she knows better than to call him Noah. "What are you doing?"
"It's time for bed. Come on." He says, reaching put his hands and pulling them both up. They have identical pouts on their face but take his assistance anyway. He gives Santana a blanket and a pillow and lets her set herself up in the guest room; she's been there enough times.
When he goes into the kitchen and sees Rachel falling asleep while lying back on the floor, he decides to forget the shower; he just wants to lay with his girl. He scoops her up into his arms and carries her to bed. Despite her original protests, she is already half asleep when he lays her down. He lies down and pulls her flush against him, resting his chin in the crook of her shoulder.
"Mm," Rachel sighs, "love you, No'."
He grins because she only calls him that when she's really drunk or really sleepy, and in this case it's both. He places a soft kiss just below her ear.
"Love you too, babe."