It was negative. Again. All four tests laid on the bathroom countertop with the sign that Rachel had seen countless times. Tears stung her eyes and she threw the tests into the garbage where the rest had gone over the past three years. Everyone had told her she was still so young because she was only twenty six, but she knew that no matter how long she tried this wasn't going to work.
She clenched the sink and held onto for support. A mix of emotions were running through her body and she didn't know how much more of this she could take. Her and Finn had gotten married at twenty two- right after they both graduated from college. They were married for a year, before they both decided they wanted a baby. They knew it would be difficult to become pregnant, but they had tried so many things and nothing was working.
Rachel dragged herself to her bedroom and collapsed onto the bed in sobs. Her Italian greyhound puppy, Star, jumped onto the bed and rested her head on Rachel's stomach. Rachel gently petted the puppy's soft head and closed her eyes.
They had tried so many fertility treatments and have an adoption agency set up. All of the attempts to get pregnant have failed and so have the adoptions. They had been through several adoption scams. One where the parents were trying to sell the baby, one woman hadn't even been pregnant, another three had decided against it, and one woman who had seemed perfect ended up miscarrying. It was like the world had something against Rachel. After everything she had been through, she deserved a baby.
She jumped as she heard the door opening and she swore to herself for not starting dinner. Star jumped up as well and ran out of the bedroom and to the door to greet Finn. Rachel followed the dog and forced a smile at her husband as he entered the house. She pressed her lips against his as he pulled her into a hug. "Hey."
"Hey, baby. Is something wrong? Were you crying? Your eyes are red." Finn asked with concern as he brushed her dark curls off her face.
"The tests came back negative." She blurted out, before more tears cascaded down her face.
"Oh Rachel." Finn pulled her in for a hug again and she buried her face in his chest. "It's okay. We'll keep trying. Something will work eventually."
"I just want a baby." She sobbed as he gently stroked her soft hair and traced soothing circles on her back.
"I know, I know. Soon, Rachel, soon."
Rachel lifted her head up from Finn's chest and he wiped away her tears with his thumb as she took a deep breath. "Sorry, I forgot to start dinner."
"It's fine. We'll order in from the vegan place."
Rachel nodded and a small smile sprouted across her lips. There was a vegan restaurant and takeout place only a few blocks away and it was one of Rachel's favorite places to eat in the city. "That sounds good."
"I knew it would." He smiled.
After dinner, the two of them sat down to watch Funny Girl for the billionth time while cuddling.
"Please, Jesse, please let me go!" She screamed, but only felt the grip tighten around her aching wrists. And she felt disgusted as she felt his bare skin on hers.
"You know how long I've been waiting for this." He grinned maliciously.
"No, no, no! Please! Get off of me! Get off!" She shrieked, but it was too late. It one swift thrust, everything was taken from her. And it was replaced with a horrific pain both physically and emotionally. "Stop! Please stop!"
"Stop it! Get off! Jesse, get off me! Please! Stop!" Rachel shrieked as she tossed back and forth in the bed. "Somebody help me! Please stop!"
Finn shot up and turned on the lamp that stood on the nightstand. He gently shook his wife in attempt to wake her. "Rachel, wake up. Wake up, baby. It's just a dream."
Rachel sat up, her breathing quickening and her heart pounding in her chest. Her eyes were wide with fear and her body was trembling. Tears sprang to her eyes, before she erupted to sobs.
Finn wrapped his arms around her shaking body and held her close. His fingers danced in her loose curls, taking in her sweet vanilla scent. He rocked her back and forth while gently caressing her back. "Shh, it was just a dream."
"It…it was a flashback." She choked out as she sobbed into his broad chest.
"Why? You haven't had one in a while?" Finn asked softly.
"I think I'm just so upset about not having a baby. And…and it's…it's his fault. He did this! He made us not be able to have children! I hate him! Even nine years
later, he is ruining my life! I hate him! And he's paying for it by being in jail, but that is not even close to adding up to what he did to me!"
"Rachel, shh. It's okay. You are completely right, okay? But we're not going to let him win. You have gotten so much better since then and we are going to have a baby. You are Rachel Barbra Berry. You can do anything and you don't give up for anything."
"Well I guess we must be patient with the adoption, because I don't think I'm getting pregnant." She said with such gloom in her voice that it broke Finn's heart.
"Don't say that, babe. You never know what will happen. We will do everything in our power to try to get pregnant. Or who knows, maybe the adoption will work."
"I just don't understand what I did to deserve all of this." She said as more tears trickled down her face.
"Nothing, baby, nothing. You don't deserve any of this. And you didn't in high school either. This is all Jesse's fault because for some reason he had a sick obsession with you." Finn said as he continued to hold her close. "Have you discussed not getting pregnant with your psychiatrist?"
"Yes and all she says is that it will happen. We just have to be patient and have hope and not to worry because I am young. I am tired of hearing that! We've been patient for three years and nothing has happened! And I don't care that I'm young, I want a baby now!"
"I know, I know." Finn whispered softly. "Go back to sleep and we'll make another appointment with the doctor in the morning."
Rachel nodded and pulled out of Finn's arms to lay back down. He lied next to her and pulled her tiny body against his. He waited for her to fall asleep before he let himself fall back asleep. When he awoke at six he smiled at Rachel's sleeping form. She looked so peaceful and he was surprised that she was still sleeping. She was usually up before him and the one to wake him up.
He grabbed his laptop from the nightstand and opened it up. He clicked on the football icon that brought him to a collage of pictures of him and Rachel. He smiled and opened up the internet before going to Google. He typed fertility help into the search engine and hit enter. He scanned the screen before clicking on a site. He began to read, but glanced at Rachel as she slowly sat up. "Good morning, gorgeous."
"Good morning. You're actually up without me or the alarm waking you up?" Rachel asked rhetorically. "What are you doing?"
"Researching." He replied.
Rachel nodded as she stood up and stretched, before heading into the bathroom to shower. When she came back into the room twenty minutes later with a towel wrapped around her petite body, Finn was still researching. "Anything?"
"IVF should work with your situation." Finn said as his eyes peeled away from the screen to look at his wife.
"Nothing ever works right for me." Rachel sighed as she combed through her wet hair. She pulled off her towel and pulled on her bra and underwear.
"Maybe we should try a new doctor."
"Finn, we've been through about eighteen OB/GYN doctors in the city. And I like Dr. Peirce. She seems very experienced and sympathetic and she is nice. And we've been with her for a little over a year now, so she knows everything going on. I really do not want to explain everything to another doctor, either."
"No I like her too, I just…I'm trying…"
"Babe, I know your trying. I'm not mad at you. This is my fault. I'm the one who has the infertility problems." Rachel said as she pulled a dress onto her body.
"Rach, this isn't your fault. You know this is all Jesse's fault. But we're going to get there. It might take a while and be frustrating and upsetting, but it will all be worth it in the end when we're holding that beautiful baby in our arms."
Rachel took a deep breath and nodded as she applied her mascara and eyeliner in the mirror. "Did you find any other procedures we haven't tried?"
"Hmm…is this what you have? Ash…Asherman's Syndrome?" Finn asked as his eyes remained glued to the screen.
"Yeah. That's scarring of the uterus. Of course most women don't get their period with it or get it very scanty, but not me." Rachel rolled her eyes, frustrated that once again the odds were against her. "Why? Did you find something about it?"
"Well it says it can be treated with a…hyster….hysteroscopy, but only a few surgeons are willing to do this with people with Asherman's syndrome for some reason."
"And that gets rid of the scar tissue?" Rachel asked as her face lit up.
Finn nodded. "Yeah. I mean it's not a hundred percent guaranteed but it could and in most cases does."
Rachel ran over to the bed and hopped onto the bed beside Finn. She looked at the screen and quickly read over what he was reading. She turned to him and threw her arms around him. "This is great! This…this could work. We have to try this."
"We will as long as it's not too risky. You call Dr. Peirce while I shower." Finn smiled back at Rachel as he closed the laptop and stoop up.
"I'm on it!" Rachel hopped off the bed as Finn headed into the bathroom. She grabbed the phone and quickly dialed the doctor's office. She finally felt a slight bit of hope, which was something that hadn't happened in the past two years.
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! This is the start to my sequel of Everything. All readers are welcomed, but I suggest reading Everything so you're not too confused. Also, in case you are unaware, IVF stands for In Vitro Fertilization. I am sorry for posting this later than I expected. I have been very busy. Review!