"NO! Get away from me!" Sephiroth yelled back, as he frantically searched for the keys to his closet. So he could lock himself in it and get away from that creepy little girl.
Caroline, unfortanately for poor Sephiroth, caught up to him, took the keys away from him, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and dragged him to Vincent's couch.
*Katie: Why do all the stories take place at Vincent's house? WHY?*
*Caroline rolls her eyes: Because he's got a leather couch! DUH!*
*Katie: . . .*
Where she opened up a book, and started reading a story, with her Little Timmy Super Duper Powerful Slingshot in hand, fully loaded with popcorn, just in case he got away.
"Once upon a time, there was a little blonde haired puppet named Cloud Strife. Actually, he wasn't a puppet, he was a real boy!"
"What's the difference?"
"You see, there's always been an incredibly large difference between puppets and real boys! Because real boys are, well, real, and puppets are made of cherry wood. Anyway, he was walking down the cobble streets of Niblheim in his little purpleish outfit thingy, which was glowing, and was such a pretty robin's egg blue,"
"Wasn't it purple?"
"I changed my mind! This is my story so shut up! Bluish color that the morning sun withdrew itself out of shame and so it became night very, very suddenly in the blink of an eye! No, actually it was much faster than that 'cause when Cloud blinked he did it twenty and a fourth slower than the morning's withdrawal, which is a very funny word by the way and I hope I spelled it right."
"ANYWAY! The authoress, me, yapped on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on to make this story longer but unfortunately her insanity shined through the darkness like the moon at night, but it was much more shinier of course so the moon had to disappear as well! So now it was completely dark and Cloud began to shake in his funny baggy pants, which looks very funny by the way."
"The pants, I mean. What's so funny about Cloud shaking? How dare you make fun of a puppet being afraid? No, wait, he's a real boy! And, you see, there's always been an incredibly large difference between puppets and real boys! Because real boys are, well, real, and puppets are made of cherry wood! NOW ON WITH THE STORY AND STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS SEPHY!"
"I never said anything."
"Don't make me shoot popcorn at you! Then, all of a sudden Tifa appeared in her outfit that was obviously way too small for her and came off a Barbie Doll and began to sing a song! She came becuase she saw Cloud's shiny outfit, and fell madly in love with it! So she began her mating ritual, which Cloud promptly refused, but his shining clothes had other ideas! Then, Yuffie appeared, skipping and singing the pop song, "How much is that puppy?" with Vincent sadly in tow,
"How much is that doggy in the window?!
Ding a Dog!
bark, Bark, Woof!
How much is that doggy in the WINDOW?!"
"50 gil," the owner of the pet store replied and brought a little puppy out to the couple. Apparently he didn't know Yuffie was just singing so now Yuffie and Vincent ended up with a puppy that they didn't really want in Vinnie's arms! The puppy then licked Vincent and Vincent became cheesily happy and decided to keep the little puppy, and so they lived happily ever after, but not yet 'cause this story hasn't ended yet!
"For the sake of all that is good and holy, please end now."
"NOT YET! AND THEN! ALL OF A SUDDEN, AERIS CAME INTO THE SCENE WEARING A FLOWERPOT ON HER HEAD! WHY AM I WRITING IN CAPS, YOU SAY? I DON'T KNOW YET! IT MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH COWS AND CORNDOGS, ASK CID! then the evil caps button broke and then the world ended.
"Is that it?"
"NO! Oh, wait, the caps button is broke. BUT NOT THE SHIFT! MWHAHAHAHA! - oops. now it's broke. damn. i must continue. without exclamation points and capital letters. and cid was happily happy for the rest of his short life, which ended two and a half seconds after this story did. goodbye.
"yes, actually. vincent and yuffie skipped off in the sunset. so did cloud and aeris (THEY BELONG TOGETHER I TELL YOU, wait, wasn't the caps and shift broken? PARENTHESES ARE A MAGICAL PLACE!), and tifa with cloud's glowing clothing.
"Can I go now?"
"No! Don't be silly! It's nappy time now!"
"Nappy. . .? Time. . .?"
*snickers* Brainless stuff. The story was inspired by the Fanfic for Final Fantasy 9, called FFIX Answering Machine Messages, by Mirriomere. THANKIES!
Sephiroth is mine!
SEE THAT MAGICAL BUTTON TO YOUR LOWER-LEFT?
press it. You might like it. I know we will. Why? Because we'd know you read our brainless crap. :) This makes us happy.