This story is inspired by the song Sexy Bitch and I only thought of it one day from some challenge my friend told me to do.

This story is also in a non-apocalyptic state because of Voldemort.

I walked in the middle of Ron and Draco, we all had these massive coats on, it was one of the coldest nights we had ever had but we were all determined to go out tonight and have a good time. We were off to a secret club that was in Hogsmead. We had snuck out through one of the hidden passage ways. When trying to get to the passage way we were almost caught by Filtch but luckily some other kids were out and he go distracted by then. That gave us enough cover to get out of there. The music was pounding in the distance. It wasn't too far now.
"How much longer do we have to walk?" Draco asked.
"Not far now, it's just past those trees." Ron replied.
"I am sick of walking."
"Yeah, Yeah suck it up."
We turned the corner and it was magical. The lights and music was insane. We all stopped and stared at the club. There were people that were almost having sex right on the pathway. I looked at the guys and by the looks on their faces I just knew that tonight it was going to get crazy.

Once we were in the club, we found a table and sat down. Ron went and got the first round of drinks. He came back with three beers and a soaking wet Neville Longbottom. Apparently Neville had planned on getting with a girl tonight but had no luck. Draco laughed at the poor kid and put his hand on his shoulder, "Let me show you how it's done." He smirked and walked off into the massive crowd of people.
Neville sat looking sad and ashamed.
"Aw come on Neville, don't be so down about it. She was probably on her period or something. You know how they get when they are PMSing."
Neville smiled at that. Ron smiled too but then when Neville turned away he whispered in my ear. "Has that ever happened to you?"
"Nope, not even once."
We downed another round of beers but Neville was still feeling depressed, I picked up his arm and told him to go out onto the dance floor. He shook his head vigorously. Ron picked up the other arm and we dragged him down there.
"No guys. I think I just want to go home."
Neither Ron nor I listened to him. When we let go he tried to run away but both Ron and I are quicker.
While walking to the dance floor we spotted Draco. His tongue was down some girls' throat and his hands up her skirt.
Neville almost completely fell to the floor. "How? How does he do it?"
I didn't know how to answer that question; I never knew what Draco's technique was. But I knew I wanted to learn it.
"He goes after the really drunk ones, the ones that are too drunk to care what they do." Ron said.
"Really?" I asked him.
"Yeah" he said but he shrugged his shoulders. I understood then, he was just trying to make Neville feel better.
We finally got to the dance floor and the song Sexy Bitch was playing. A giant circle had formed around the floor, and we couldn't see what was happening. Ron and I pinched peoples underarms to make them move and we made it to the front, and what we saw was just…
Hermione was twirling her body around in the most mesmerizing way. All eyes were on her. Her dress was short, her shoes were tall and her hair was down.
Our jaws dropped.
"She's such a diva." I say.
"I'm trying to find the words to describe her, but I can't without being disrespectful." Ron adds.
Draco walks up behind us, "Oh damn who's a sexy bitch."
"What happened to the girl from before?" Neville asked.
"Eh, I got bored. I have a new target."
"Hermione!"
"You know it; I got to have her close to me, right now, if I don't it's going to hurt. Wish me luck boys."
"She's horrible, she is just the baddest thing around Hogsmead." It was the headmasters voice. Ron and I turned and he was standing there. We both got the shock of our lives and we dropped Neville. "uhhh Professor what are you doing here?"
"I should ask you boys the same thing."
We both stood dumbfounded.
"Well they have a great salmon here. I come here every Thursday. Well you boys have fun." And he was gone.
We looked at each other but didn't say anything. Our heads turned back to Hermione. She was still circling the dance floor, her hands in the air. Draco comes onto the floor and gives Hermione one of his winning smiles. Hermione dances around him and sees us. She races to us. Draco stands there dumbfounded. He was rejected, and by Hermione! I wish Neville would have seen that. It might have made him feel better.
"oh my god you guys! What are you doing here?" She hugged us both.
"Umm you know, the usual."
She laughed and accidently tripped over Neville. He cried out in pain.
"oh no Neville! Why are you on the floor?" She helped him up. "Come on Neville, come dance."
"No I think I just want to go home."
"Oh no you're not," She grabbed his hand and dragged him out onto the dance floor. He moved awkwardly but Hermione didn't care, she started moving her hips again and all the boys stopped and stared. I didn't know that hips could move like that.