AN: Hey guys, this is basically the follow up for theme 35, as it's kind of part of the same dream, but very different at the same time... I suck at explaining, sorry. I hope you'll enjoy.
~DSL


55: Waiting

It broke Roxas' heart into a thousand tiny pieces, to watch his lover like this. So broken, so alone, so vulnerable. He'd never met Axel in life, and even though it was, in a way, a relief to be able to be with him now, in death, it was heartbreaking at the same time. They'd never feel each other's warmth, the comfort of the closeness. It would never happen, and the thought alone made Roxas shudder.

Axel had spent the first evening talking to several people, asking them why Roxas, why him, why them. As Roxas watched from beside him, sitting cross-legged on the floor, he knew nobody would give him the answers, because nobody had the answers. He didn't even really know what answers he wanted, or what answers he was looking for.

He was there beside Axel, but did he know? He thought he might have. Maybe not all the time, but sometimes his grief stricken face got a little softer. The difference was so small Roxas hardly noticed, but he liked to think that at those moments, Axel could feel his presence. It wasn't much, he knew that. He kept his hand on Axel's shoulders, his back, his knee. Anywhere, as long as he was touching him. It wasn't much and he didn't seem to notice too often, but it was the least Roxas could do.

Physically, Axel was a stranger to Roxas. Of course, he'd seen pictures, but he'd never seen him in person, or felt his body underneath his touch. When Roxas really couldn't take it anymore, he got up, and wrapped his arms around Axel's shoulders, his chin resting on his right shoulder. Tiny step by tiny step, Roxas felt Axel's muscles relax a little under his touch. Roxas had all the time in the world and no reason to leave his side, so he just stood behind him, holding him.

When the emotions started taking their toll on Axel's energy and he turned off his computer, Roxas followed him to his bed, lying down beside him, again embracing him. Even though he was exhausted, it took him a long time to fall asleep. As he slept, Roxas watched him, never letting go. Axel woke up several times during the night, confused, hurt, alone. Roxas held him through every tear, every muttered 'why', every desperate sigh. He was there with him, suffered with him.

This was not supposed to happen. They were supposed to meet in December. Not meet on Halloween, with one of them in a different world. They were supposed to know the others' body as well as their own, memorize the exact color of the others' eyes. The feeling of holding hands, a goodnight kiss, the feeling of tangled limbs when they wake up. They were supposed to spend the rest of their lives together, years upon years, not a few months spent apart. They were supposed to move in together, get a dog, all picture perfect.

They weren't supposed to be brutally torn apart like this, before ever even meeting. But it had happened all the same. Their happiness had been short lived, but intense. They'd understood each other, completed each other, lured out the best in the other.

In the following days Axel would sometimes talk to Roxas, saying he missed him, and he loved him. Roxas would reply saying that he was still with him, and that he loved him as much as Axel loved him, but Roxas also knew he couldn't hear him.

Roxas heard someone else talk to him as well, one of Axel's friends, Demyx. Demyx was someone he'd been in contact as well. The talker would ask Roxas to look after Axel, to be there with him, to hold him through it all, as best as he could. To be safe and sound, but to please, for the love of god, look after Axel. Demyx told him Axel needed him, something he could see himself as well. The talker hoped to be of some help to Axel, to give him what little comfort he could. Sometimes, Demyx would just thank Roxas. Thank him for everything he'd done for Axel, for the lovely conversations he'd had with Roxas and how happy he'd made Axel. Roxas paid a little attention to Demyx, but his main focus was, and always would be, on Axel.

Axel would never be alone, Roxas would always be there with him. Roxas would wait for him, until eventually, hopefully some day in the far future, when Axel was old and had a good life, they'd be together in the same world once more.