Ichigo was a nice guy and he knew it. He, in all his life, had never hurt anyone without a reason and protected several others. More than once, he had put his life in danger in order to protect his friends and hell, even strangers. So when this red headed buffoon barged into his personal space with a vileness that made bile rise in his throat, he really wanted to decapitate the bastard and burn his body to ashes but he refrained.
Because Ichigo was a good guy and he knew it.
"Who do you think you are?" Ichigo deadpanned. The dark shadow of his hair hid his eyes in a black veil, the sight made Renji wince and he carefully took a step back.
"Wh-What's the big deal, Ichi-"
"You ask what's the big deal, eh?" Ichigo interrupted him, his expression was getting colder and colder by the second and Renji couldn't help but shiver.
"It was just a kiss, Ichigo. No big deal, right?" He stammered out.
Ichigo was breathing deep. And hard. Renji couldn't guess if he was trying to control his anger or concentrate it.
"I thought you might be more experienced than this, ya know," Renji said in a hesitant voice, a failed attempt at inducing humor into an extremely awkward situation.
If Ichigo was trying to control his anger before, his will was all but gone as he punched an unprepared Renji straight in the face.
"What the hell, Ichigo?! You out of your mind?" screamed Renji while dodging another punch from the agitated strawberry.
A kick to his gut was enough to make Renji snap in response. He punched Ichigo in face, leaving a red imprint of his fist on the better part of the orange haired shinigami's visage. Before Ichigo could react, Renji forced him down on the floor and straddled his waist and shouted, "You crazy bastard! What's got into you?!"
"You're asking me that, huh? What's got into me, you say," said Ichigo sarcastically, "You are the freak who ki- ki-"
"Kissed you. Godammit what's the fuckin deal wi-"
"Don't say that like it's nothing!" shouted Ichigo, shaking his head feverishly, "This isn't how you wake someone up!"
Now it was Ichigo's turn to throw Renji on his back and straddle him.
"Well, the book which Rukia gave me had people in way more dramatic situations than a small, little kiss. You're overreacting, Ichigo!"
"Just what kind of books does she give you?"
"The book was from real world, for your kind fucking information!" said Renji, forcing Ichigo down and straddling him. Again.
"You wouldn't even flinch in your deep-ass sleep and I just wanted to be nice so instead of throwing you out of the window, I gave you a small kiss and look, it worked!" said Renji, clearly frustrated at why Ichigo wouldn't understand the efficiency of his actions, "And it's not like I liked the taste of your strawberry flavored lips or how unmanly can you get-" Renji clasped his mouth shut when he saw the deadpan expression back on Ichigo's face.
"You think my lips-"
"Look, Ichigo, it's no big deal. I can exp-"
"You don't have to explain anything, Renji!"
Ichigo kicked Renji's chest, causing the red haired shinigami to fall on his back and pinned his hands above his head. Before Ichigo could raise his fist to punch him again, the room's door flew open and Karin came whining in.
"Ichi-nii, why are you making so much – Oh my god!" she gasped.
"Look, Karin. It's not what you're thinking. I can explain!" cried Ichigo but before he could get up from the rather suggestive position, the last person he'd wanted to see came barging in.
"Ichigoooo, my imbecile son. Why - Oh my, oh my! Nooooooo," whined Isshin. "Oh, Masaki do you see this? Did we ever raise him to become gay? I've always wondered why he never got a girlfriend."
"Why are you guys shouting so much?" said Yuzu while rubbing her eyes. Apparently, she couldn't keep herself in her room while the whole house was breaking.
"Onee – san, why are you sitting on the floor? You'll catch cold," she said, oblivious to the presence of the body beneath him.
Ichigo opened his mouth to speak something but before he could utter a syllable, a pair of bare feet landed on his face.
"Ichigo, you could have told me, son! I accept you the way you are!" said Isshin, holding his son by the neck of his T-shirt.
Ichigo said in response, "Get back to your senses you old goat!" and punched his father a few feet away from him.
"Ichi – nii, you know we love you for whatever you are," said Karin with a wry smile.
"Shut up!" yelled Ichigo which only made the raven haired girl chuckle.
Meanwhile, Renji watched the bickering family silently, contemplating the results for every action he could possibly take.
The whole family is downright insane, he thought. Nah, insane is an understatement.
He was suddenly shook by his shoulder and looked up to find Ichigo swallowing his mod-pill.
"Come on Renji, let's get out of here. These people are insane."
Ichigo's shinigami form came out of his body and he dragged Renji out of the window and both shinigami shunpoed away from the house.
"What the fuck's happening?" muttered Kon(in Ichigo's body now) as he sensed the scrutiny of the Kurosaki family.
"I don't understand anything either. I just don't understand what's wrong with all of you!" whined Yuzu and turned back and started to walk down the stairs. "Why can't we act like a normal family?" she cried from below.
Two sandaled pairs of feet landed on the soft green grass of the town park. A sheet of silence and stillness had enveloped the whole surroundings but a smooth tenor poked a hole in it.
"What do you want, Renji?"
"I- I have to, well," stammered Renji, a blush coloring his face.
"You have to what?" asked Ichigo, obviously annoyed at his red haired friend's sudden awkwardness.
"I have to make a confession," said Renji, his voice was hoarse and husky and the blush on his cheeks was spreading down his neck.
The sight made Ichigo cringe in disgust and apprehension. The possibility of what was about to come next made his stomach turn, considering his previous "actions". The kiss was still on his mind and the comment on his lips' "flavour" again brought a groan of disgust to his lips.
He took a deep breath and waited for Renji to continue.
A few moments passed and Ichigo finally gave up his composure. He gave Renji a stoic look and said, "Look, I'm aware that I'm not interested in any girl as of now but that doesn't mean that I like," he took another deep breath to steady his breathing, "men."
"Eh?" asked Renji and gave him an incredulous look.
"See, about your confession, I don't want to break your heart or anything but you know, we can't-" he gave an exasperated sigh, "you know I'm not that way."
"Just what the fuck are you blabbering about, Ichi?" asked Renji, the blush disappearing from his face.
A vein throbbed on Ichigo's forehead at the sound of 'Ichi' and he raised a clenched fist.
"What is your fucking confession?" he said tensely.
Renji started to blush again and looked to his right, "I, I don't know how to say this."
"You don't have to say it. Really."
Renji glared at him and said, "I thought we were friends."
"Just don't forget that."
"Don't forget what?"
"That we're friends."
"Oh come on Ichigo, will you let me speak now?"
Ichigo nodded in resonse and braced himself for what was to come, the "strawberry flavored lips" comment still doing rounds in his mind.
Renji exhaled noisily. A blush again began to spread on his face but finally he spoke what he had to in a low but audible and steady voice, "I'm in love with Rukia."
A/N: No, this is not Renruki or Renichi. Rukia will come in the next chapter. Thanks for reading!