Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA, THEREFOR I DO NOT OWN ENGLAND OR ANY OF THE OTHER COUNTRIES FEATURED.

I do however own the character telling the story.


Big Brother, that's what I've always called him. England or Britain, rarely have I ever addressed him such a way. I could count on one hand how many times I've ever called him something besides Big Brother. Why should I call him anything less than what he is?

Big Brother has been all over the world while I'm at home, waiting, watching the ports for him. As a child, my eyes had been trained to the sea, almost begging it for a sign of his ship, Crimson Rose. He sent me letters time and time again, reciting grand tales of his adventures in such detail that it would feel as if I were standing right beside him all the way. Seeing the amazing lands, tasting their exotic cuisine, experiencing the dry deserts and humidity, braving battles against the "savages" as he calls them, and meeting the people and nations that he's come across. Reading those letters made residing in our home much less lonely that it would have been without him. To this day, I've photocopied every single one of his letters to read in my office when he is gone while their originals are tucked away in an airtight chest, hidden away in my bedroom for safe keeping. I would be devastated if something were to happen to my prized possessions, those letters. Hmm, I guess that must be why Berlin is still so wary around me.

I recall the time Big Brother was a Pirate, or privateer so he insisted but we both knew better. Back then, I was too young and it was much too dangerous for me to go with him on his sailing expeditions, hence his letters. Big Brother would be gone for months on end sometimes and return with injuries that he has tried to conceal but often fails to do so. I remember Spain and Big Brother getting into fights a lot during those times as well, Madrid and I still can't see eye to eye even now. That chap sure can hold a grudge, I mean that was just one time Big Brother let me go with him after much begging, and Madrid just happened to be accompanying Spain but what happened is another story.

His cooking is a mockery among the nations. I feel as I must remain hidden whenever they are over. Or if it is unavoidable and I must make an appearance, I disguise myself as a maid or a butler for I don't feel the need for them to see me. When Big Brother is not in the room, I hear them speaking of it, calling it tasteless, charcoal like, and disgusting. My blood boils upon hearing those words from their lips and it takes just about all my restraint to not put a gun to their heads and demand that they apologize and take back what they've said or to beat them, or if they're European, work my economical magic upon them. But I don't allow myself to harm them for my cover would be blown and Big Brother would be embarrassed. So I keep quiet until they've left before muttering my curses of them to their backs.

They don't know Big Brother; they don't know that he hides his ability. Big Brother has impeccable skills in the kitchen. I should know; I'm the only one who has ever remained with him with no desire to leave. What he serves them, they aren't his culinary skills. They're mine. My skills in the kitchen still need refining but I have a patient teacher. Big Brother says he's quite proud that I've been improving, that my cooking skills will soon come to par with my superior potion brewing ability. He's never said anything that's purpose was to hurt me, all he does is compliment what I can do and point out what I need to improve on. Someday I'll be as good as a chef as him but for now, I'll sit and watch as he carves beets and radishes into a garden, sculpt sugar into delicate butterflies, mold chocolate into majestic ships, bake cakes that melt in your mouth, sauté colorful vegetables, prepare a gorgeous roast, and stir up soups that will warm your very soul.

His magic is a joke among the other nations. His curses are said to call forth Russia and not the terrifying creatures that he intended for. They say that he's mad for seeing faeries and magical creatures. They just don't understand. Big Brother's magic is true and I've been the witness on multiple occasions. Sure his black cloak would frighten me to tears as a wee poppet but nowadays I find comfort in it when he is away. It still amazes me to see the magic circle aglow in the midst of his spells and it also still frightens me to see the creatures he is able to call forth. It is embarrassing that he still needs to calm me every time I see some of the truly terrible beasts of hell but he tells me that there is no shame in being afraid in what is truly terrifying. I'm pleased that he has yet to really use his magic in a war or battle yet. Though, I fear for those nations and battles of the future that could come to experience Big Brother's magic, if he really were use it, then we would be short one nation, including the land it was once on.

Big Brother's interests are also a laughing matter for the other countries sometimes. Big Brother has always been keen on embroidery, in fact, the Union Jack and English flags I keep in my room and office were embroidered by him. They are magnificent pieces that I admire on a daily basis. He's also a wonderful craftsman who can make these spectacular iron ships (there's a scale model of his Crimson Rose in the sitting room) as well stunning glassworks (displayed in a well let room in the house though I do have two of the pieces sitting on my home desk as well as my office desk). Though in my opinion, his best craft were the time pieces he's given me (specifically a platinum pocket watch in the shape of my favorite card suite, the Spade, with magical abilities that I've yet to completely unlock).

Though he might not look or act like it, Big Brother is a major movie buff and critic. He enjoys Dr. Who and has made it very clear to me as well as many others to not disturb him during his Dr. Who time (he still has his angry Pirate stare and it still frightens me to the point where I can't sleep at night). Whenever we go visit America (the land not the personification), he will literally drag me (sometimes half asleep or kicking and screaming) to every movie house within a 500 mile radius and see every movie shown there. The worst part is he won't even let me doze off even the slightest during the movie! I swear, when it comes to movies, Big Brother has limitless amounts of energy, showing no apparent signs of jet lag. I mean, I've been in RAF ever since it was established and fly planes for fun but even I still experience jet lag! But at those movies, he'll constantly give these scathing remarks on how the actors can improve and the lack of plot and so many other things that if I were to write it all down, the list would go from here to the moon and BACK! But even though those movie expeditions are major annoyances and time consuming, I still love him.

Literature must be one of my more willing past times with him. Big Brother has brought to just about every single one of his favorite book signings and readings. Because unlike the movies, he doesn't critic as often and when he does talk, it's actually something to my interest. I remember time when I was small and couldn't sleep, I'd go to his library (where he usually was), climb into his lap, and he'd read to me from Shakespeare's latest works before shooing me off to bed once more. Big Brother always read his favorites to me as a child and often would end story time at a cliff hanger leading me to pout and whine for him to continue but he would just laugh and ruffle my hair. Ah, such fond memories from those times.

His mother and brothers, he rarely speaks of them around me. I have met his brothers only a handful of times but even then, I found out why he would prefer not to speak of them. They are a rather unpleasant lot with the same to be said of Edinburgh, Cardiff, and Belfast. Though then again, Wales and Cardiff are the more tolerable ones. Sealand on the other hand, that boy annoys me to no end and he still sees me as his personal servant even though Big Brother has made it very clear on multiple occasions that I am most definitely not. But as for his mum, it takes a lot of pestering on my part to get him to talk. From what I understand, she was a lovely woman who cared for them until the day she died. He seems so happy whenever he speaks of his mum and a lot more at ease than he usually is. He'll just talk for hours on end about her and it disappoints me that sometimes I end up dozing off before he finishes.

His colonies (America, Canada, Seychelles, Australia, New Zealand, Egypt and Hong Kong), I have very mixed emotions with them. Seychelles, I can't stand the girl for some reason, most likely for her sloppiness (Big Brother had her over once and let's just say I almost blew my own cover to get her to stop making a mess in the kitchen. IT TOOK THREE BLOODY HOURS TO CLEAN JUST ONE COUNTERTOP!). Canada was a quiet fellow who and was pleasant company along with Hong Kong and Egypt. I had no issues with those fellow and we all still gather for a cup of tea, lunch, and a light chat every now and then. Australia was probably the most fun colony I hung around though Big Brother did get panicky whenever I was away with Australia for extended periods of time. New Zealand is just New Zealand, sure his sheep are really soft and fluffy but nothing about him is rather…interesting to me.

America was Big Brother's favorite, thinking back, I had been quite jealous of America as a child. He had all of Big Brother's praise and attention and he was all my Big Brother could talk about for a while so it annoyed me greatly, that was until I could see the beginnings of a falling out. I tried to warn him about this, hell, I thought the King and everybody else was a bit bonkers but got grounded several times for saying as such. But what's done is done and I'm glad Big Brother and America are back on good terms. Though I usually go to America's birthday parties in place of Big Brother as he still can't take it all too well and gets drunk to his stupor and for that, I am grateful Japan and Tokyo taught me how to knock him unconscious, I hate seeing him in such a state.

Clothing choices have always been an amusing matter for the two of us, especially during his punk days. Now that I think about it…he still dresses in his punk clothes (-sigh-) but at least it isn't as bad as during the days of anarchy. I remember when he had his hair streaked acid green and all those piercings (-shudders-) there are some things that I could have lived without knowing you could get pierced. He's tried to convince me to get an industrial, tongue piercing, naval piercing, eyebrow piercing and lip piercing before but I just opted for the normal ear piercing, much to his disappoint during those days.

The different time periods have also done a great number on him, especially the Renaissance. No amount of mind soap could EVER erase those memories of men (including Big Brother) in tights, though Big Brother did know how to make suits of armor fashionable I guess. But I do admit he was much happier during Elizabeth's time. I remember as clearly as if it were yesterday she claimed to be married to be Big Brother. Oh that was an interesting day! I asked Big Brother why he hadn't invited me to see the wedding and the look on his face was just smashing! He loved Elizabeth like France loved Jeanne d'Arc and Paris and I became best friends, him lending me an ear when Big Brother was being too mushy (and believe me, it was so lovey-dovey that I wondered if Big Brother was actually France in disguise).

England or Britain, on one hand I can tell you exactly how many times I have addressed him as such. Big Brother was almost always Big Brother to me. There to comfort me when I got too scared of his magic and there whenever I just need a hug. Though I admit, having him as Big Brother was definitely far from easy but I would never think of having someone different as my brother.


Alright, it's been around 2 years since my last fanfiction so I might be a tad bit rusty at this. Constructive criticisms are welcomed but flames wil be used to roast marshmallows. I must thank the fellows at a Hetalia RP chatroom for finally getting rid of my writer's block (especially all the Englands and Miss Ireland!) So if you have anything to say, please comment below ^-^