42Inevitable
Rating: PG – for language
Setting: Canon, Future
Characters: Ichigo & Rukia
Words: 3,039
Summary: One of them was ready to accept the feelings they harbored. But how would the other one handle it? Prompt provided by "BleachObsessed16" on deviantart!
"I don't think I like heights this extreme while being trapped inside a gigai…" Rukia complained lowly, her neck craning back as far as possible to stare at the top of the Ferris wheel.
"You're not admitting to being scared, are you?" Ichigo smirked down at her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.
His petite companion scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest and dropping her eyes down from the wheel. "Of course not, you fool. As a Shinigami I have experienced greater threats and real danger. I just think it may be stupid for humans to ride in such an unstable-looking contraption, being mortal and all."
Ichigo couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Why would this be a family ride if there were really any danger involved? It's safe and you're being stupid." They stepped in union further towards the Ferris wheel as the line moved forward to load into the emptying pods. Glancing around at the other visitors in the line, seeing the excited children and the chatty teenagers, his eyes lingers on a particular pair two people ahead. They were a young couple, possibly no older than himself. Their hands were linked together, partially concealed between the jackets they wore to protect from the chilly winds.
Public displays of affection fell into a range between uncouth and taboo, depending on the severity. Anyone having grown up in Japan, it would feel completely natural to maintain distance and decorum, even with your lover, while in the public sphere. It wasn't out of coldness, it was respect. Physical displays of fondness were better kept behind closed doors, only for those involved in the relationship to express and witness.
And though it felt completely normal to Ichigo for this to be the standard expression for romantic relationships, he had seen enough Western influence – through movies, books, and even personal accounts of classmates in his university classes – to know there were other options.
He wanted nothing more at that moment than to reach his hand over and hold the small, thin hand of the woman next to him.
"So why this wheel ride?" Large eyes looked up at him in curiosity. He wondered what she would do if he tried taking her hand now. They didn't have that type of relationship and he was sure that her sense of traditional public behavior ran deeper than the average mortal surrounding them.
"What do you mean?" He remembered to break eye contact after a few moments to avoid getting caught staring at her while wearing his emotions openly.
It was Rukia's turn to roll her eyes. She wasn't buying his act of innocent confusion. "Usually when I come to visit, you pick an activity for us to do that's more exciting than this. I don't see the appeal of being in a small box and carted around in a circle. Explain."
There's no way he was going to tell her that he picked the Ferris wheel because it was a typical date location. He's not sure what she would think if he told her that all of the times they went out together were, for him, also dates. He just wanted this one to be a little more obvious. He couldn't help but test the waters.
"Everyone around you is excited about the Ferris wheel, Rukia." He corrected her, "Why can't you be?"
Releasing a huff, she relaxed the tension in her mouth and shoulder. Rukia looked up at the Ferris wheel one more time before the line moved forward again. Staying in step with the orange-haired male at her side until they reached the front of the line, "Fine. Let's give it a shot and see what the fuss is about."
The now empty pod opened in front of them and a ride attendant pulled open the safety doors. After motioning for Rukia to step in first, Ichigo followed after. Unlike her, he had to duck down low to move to the side opposite of her and take a seat on the bench. While the attendant locked the door securely in place, Rukia was looking in the opposite direction. As she stared out of the large glass wall and to the nightly glow of the busy city lights, he studied her reflection.
He wasn't so arrogant to think that she couldn't reject him. And he knew firsthand that she would leave with barely a backwards glance at him if she thought that was the right thing to do. Considering her already expressed concerns over him living a full, and somewhat normal, mortal life, he already accepted the difficulty he'd be facing if he voiced his feelings aloud. Although, he was an "action before words" kind of guy and wasn't immediately concerned about the 'how'. He really just wanted to know her feelings. He'd rather just enjoy whatever moments he had with her and the way he felt rather than being worried about the future. But he knew her. She was too practical to merely concern herself over just accepting a change to the status quo without fretting over the sensibility of such a relationship.
But then, there's no guarantee she wouldn't simply reject him outright, despite knowing down to his soul that it may not be the truth for how she felt. They were connected.
He was brought back from his thoughts by a soft gasp. He watched Rukia's face change in the reflection against the glass. Her brow relaxed from its usual state of tight concentration and her eyes widened in anticipation. She looked so much younger when she wasn't guarding her expressions, as if she were just like any mortal teenager.
"The view from here is…" Her words failed her and she closed her mouth to simply smile at the scene stretching out in front of her. As the pod was lifted higher and higher up to the top of the ride, more the city came into view. The large river was an iridescent black that reflected the street and building lights back into the city.
They were just cresting the top of the circle when Rukia's eyes caught his in the reflection. She was momentarily stunned, feeling the slightest bit of vulnerability since she was unaware of just how long he had been watching her. However, Ichigo did not break the eye contact this time. His golden brown eyes stayed steady on hers and she felt his gaze more intensely than normal. Though she was not quite sure why. Feeling a heat in her face that was uncharacteristic, she struggled to break the eye contact first but was distracted by his soft, low voice.
"That's why I brought you here."
Such a simple statement but it spoke volumes. Letting out an embarrassingly shaken breath, Rukia tucked some of her hair behind her ear in a nervous fidget. He wasn't truly referring to the beautiful view from through the glass of the Ferris wheel pod and he knew that she knew that as well. Sitting back against the bench, she straightened her posture, placing some of her usual Kuchiki and Shinigami façade back in place. He let the silence linger just a moment longer as the pod declined back down the other side of the circle.
"Rukia."
"I wonder how your family is doing now that you're in University," she mentioned casually. It was too casual and was out of place for what he knew they should be discussing. But Ichigo would not be deterred and pushed forward, watching Rukia's eyes dart out to the window again.
"Rukia, I've been thinking… We've known each—."
"I mean, your sisters are in high school now. I bet your father bugs them constantly without you there to buffer him." Her already obvious desire to avoid the unspoken conversation was manifesting in her eyes as they widened in alarm as he pushed forward. He wasn't sure which bothered him more: her refusal to engage in this conversation or her refusal to look at him.
"I don't want to talk about my family! Rukia, I'm trying to talk to you about—!"
"I-I think we should get off this ride now and head back to University. I haven't seen much of everyone else during this trip." The pod had crested the bottom of the circle and Rukia whipped her head around to the glass wall again when she realized it was going for another rotation.
"I didn't tell any of the others that you were here yet. I want it to be just me and you…" Relaxing his own form enough to lean towards the dark-haired woman across from him, he was unrelenting, "I wanted to talk to you about something we've both been ignoring—."
"STOP!" Fists clenched tight in the fabric of her skirt and eyes downcast into her lap, Rukia struggled to maintain composure. "Ichigo, just stop."
Taken aback momentarily, the college student blinked almost in disbelief before steeling his features in resolve to do what he set out to do. "I won't, Rukia. You know me better than that. Why should we go on ignoring what we feel? What we have… together?"
Shaking her head back and forth, her soft hair freeing itself from behind her ears and falling around her face in a delicate frame that made Ichigo want to touch it. But she still wasn't looking at him.
"This can't happen, Ichigo. This won't happen. You're only making it worse!"
"I don't know what you're talking about! And 'can't' happen and 'won't' happen are very different, Rukia!" He was slowly getting closer to her, both of them completely ignoring the view that was filling their window again as they neared the top once more.
"Don't be such a moron! Isn't it obvious?!" As he reached out for her hand, she jumped up and moved over to the other corner of the pod. It wasn't really out of the reach of his long arm, but it was enough to send clear signals. The pod rocked back and forth slightly at her sudden movement, making her place her hands flat on the bench in nervousness. He could tell she was rethinking this ride for more than one reason now.
"No, it's not. Enlighten me." He narrowed his eyes at her awkward behavior.
"It's just that… It's not…!" Gesturing almost wildly, she struggled for any coherent thought to come out, "Well, it's that I am… and you're…!" Running her hands through her hair, Rukia let out a frustrated growl.
"Is it because you're a noble?" He offered, his arms crossing over his chest and an eyebrow in the air. "Because you know I don't give two fucks about—!"
"No! That has nothing to do with it!"
"Is it some kind of insecurity about age? I never took you to be so concerned about something so petty." Ichigo smirked at her as he once again inched closer to her, sliding down his bench to be sitting directly in front of her.
"UGH! Don't be ridiculous, Ichigo. Of course not!" She finally looked up at him to narrow her eyes in a deadly glare, her face completely tense in vexation.
"Is it Renji?" His own face morphed into one of resentment.
"What?!" Ichigo was feeling his jealousy lift a little from his shoulders. Her response was more confused than caught.
"Are you together?"
"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!" In her moment of fury over such an offense, she stood up quickly to put her face in his. The pod rocked again and her face instantly transformed into one of panic. Her legs wobbled slightly as she tried to steady herself on the moving platform, her arms reached out for purchase on something – anything! – to stop that falling feeling.
Ichigo caught her by her upper arms. She was half bent over into his lap and half hugging his torso as the pod stabilized once again. Her small hands gripped into the fabric on his jacket, her face leaning into his T-shirt-covered chest was not covered by his fall jacket. He figured she probably would have jumped back in a hurry from their intimate position if it weren't for his hands keeping her in place. He preferred this over her appearing almost scared of him touching her.
Without moving anything but his head, he placed his chin to her hair and spoke in a calm, but serious voice that uncovered a little more of his heart. "Then why Rukia? If you really don't want this… then I promise to back off. Just tell me why…"
Her grip tightened but she pulled back enough to lift her head from his body, a light dusting of pink playing on her cheeks that looked positively attractive in his opinion.
"Why are you making me do this?"
"Do what?"
"Reject you… Do you think I enjoy this?" Wincing in emotional discomfort, Rukia tried gently to disengage from him but he physically kept her close to him. He felt her hands flexing against his jacket and he could tell she was battling internally to keep herself together.
"Then don't," he whispered huskily, watching with appreciation as the blush on her face spread, her mouth parting gently in surprise at the suggestive tone.
"Ichigo… I'm sorry. I can't. We can't." She finally pulled free from him, sitting back down across from him. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked very near tears. He chose not to speak, giving her time to stare out of the glass a bit longer. The pod had made it around the circle again and they were once again approaching the crest at the top.
"You'd be better off with someone else, Ichigo." He watched Rukia's eyes drop under the emotional turmoil. She was visibly upset and he wish she would let him closer to her. But she was finally opening up to him and he wasn't going to budge until she was done. "You should find someone at your school, perhaps. A girl you could be with all the time, that you could marry, and she would raise your children and grow old with you. She would be able to be everything you need. Everything you deserve…"
No, he couldn't leave her alone in those thoughts. "Stop it, Rukia." His harsh words caught her off guard, her head lifting to stare at him in surprise, the vulnerability evident on her face. Neither rider noticed the Ferris wheel pod had stopped rotating, their own car very near the top overlooking the city. "Why would you think you're not good enough? Why would you think you don't deserve those things? Why don't you realize that I'm the one trying to deserve you?"
"Ichigo…" she whispered, running out of energy for this conversation.
"You're special to me, Rukia. You're… you're exactly what I need, what I've needed since I was 15 years old."
"N-no, I'm not…"
"You're so brave and focused. You've made me believe in me, when even I didn't think I could. And I would trust you with my life." It was pleasantly cathartic to let everything out. And even if he couldn't get her to understand the depth of his feelings right now, he could at least tell that whatever held her back was not a lack of reciprocated emotions. There was just something blocking her. And he was good and breaking through barriers.
"T-that wasn't me…"
"Yes, it is. And Rukia? You're also a very beautiful woman." He observed in delight as the blush re-appeared in an adorable feminine display across her face. Had she never been told before? No, he had to endure high school classmates telling her constantly how cute she looked. Did she simply never believe it before?
"D-don't say that!"
"I will keep telling you until you believe me. Rukia, I'd rather look at you than any other girl in the world. And being with you… nothing makes me feel happier. I don't feel lost or alone. I feel… complete."
"STOP!" Her face had never been any redder that he saw it now. She attempted to cover her entire face with both of her hands as she lifted both of her feet to the bench, hiding her face further behind her knees. "I'M DEAD, YOU IDIOT!"
Silence reigned in the Ferris wheel pod. Ichigo was stunned at what turned out to be her reason for rejecting him and Rukia was just trying to pull herself together after the onslaught of his affections.
"You know that's not a good enough reason to stop me, right?"
"You're a fool, Kurosaki Ichigo. A damned fool."
"Well, that's a strong possibility," he grinned. "But I'm nothing if not persistent. I won't stop, Rukia."
Finally getting her face back to a relatively normal color, she removed her hands to wrap them instead around her legs, pulling them tighter to her chest. She refused once again to make eye contact with him as she watched the city from the window. "No amount of fighting will change the fact that I don't belong in your world."
"Who said anything about belonging in this world?" He waited for her eyes to connect to his, the indigo colors reflecting confusion and apprehension. "I'm just telling you that you belong with me."
Despite her protests, her shaking her head at him as if he were some ignorant child that would one day grow up to realize the massive mistake he was making, he knew it to be true. He wouldn't even need to convince her of it because she already knew too. It was what kept her coming back to stay with him at his house, sleeping in his closet when she could get away with it, hunting hollows together even after she had fully recovered her powers and he had been trained more than adequately to handle them alone. It was why they could have conversations without words, why they could argue without there being any real damage, why they felt like they both had somewhere they belonged after years of feeling out of place. He just had to make sure she accepted this. Because whether in this world or the next, he knew that they would be together. It was simply inevitable.