18When the darkness has taken over your mind and death cannot be your salvation, what is there left to do but seek asylum?
About the story, Disclaimer, Warning, Pairings: See Chapter 1
Author's Notes: Song for this Chapter is 'The Infidel Is Me' by Rasputina, although it's usually paired together with another song called 'A Retinue of Moons' so it's usually listed as 'A Retinue of Moons/The Infidel Is Me'.
I appreciate the reviews left by pokermaniac039, Fialisen, xXxOtaku-444xXx and Sask by the way! I'm glad you liked them. I hope I can keep it up for your enjoyment (and mine as well)!
Damn, it took me a while to write this. I knew what I wanted to happen (heck, I have up to Chapter 7 and 2 Omakes planned) but my fingers won't type! It also doesn't help that Nigma keeps trying to throw a hissy fit because of Crane.
By the way, if any of you guys RP, I've just recently joined an Arkham City site called Last Laugh at z13 invisionfree. Drop a review if you're interested, hehe; I play Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow) and Harvey Dent (Two-Face) there right now.
Hospital Bed Crawl
Chapter 3: The Infidel Is Me
The December air was cool and crisp as he sat on the window sill of Doctor Crane's office. The temperature was somewhere in the negatives today and he could feel the cold seep into his very bones, considering that he was only wearing the asylum given clothes: a horrendous dark orange, thin jumpsuit that all inmates wore with his identification number printed on the left breast and on the back. The jumpsuit was probably the drawback in his decision of staying here; the other inmates didn't bother him like they did the others, he certainly received better food thanks to Jonathan and a comfortable bed was never a problem.
The island grounds were covered with snow and, from this distance, he could see some of the asylum staff shoveling walkways for those who came and went. It was a futile attempt, he thought at least, with how the stuff continued to fall from the skies. Seems that it'll be a very white Christmas… He can't believe he'll be spending his seventh Christmas in this place.
Seven years, huh?
"Why don't you come in from the cold? You'll catch your death out there," a voice breathed into his ear and he whirled around with a smile. But that smile faltered when he saw that it was just Mister E. Not that he hated the man; a year of visits could endear one to him. On the contrary in fact, he very much enjoyed his company when he wasn't with his lover (you could say that they were best friends!) but he had been expecting it to be Jonathan.
The man made to playfully shove Harry aside as he sat himself on the window sill as well and the younger man couldn't help but roll his eyes at him. "Hullo to you too Mister E," he greeted him, throwing a glance at the man's choice of clothing a funny look (not that his prison wear was any better). He was dressed more casually than usual, having forgone his signature three piece suit, opting instead for a fern green turtleneck with a Byzantium purple scarf around his neck along with comfortable black pants. Oh, and of course, the ever present cane was still there. The style was quite normal, except perhaps for the color choices but it was still no doubt more comfortable than what Harry got to wear. "So, what brings you here?" It didn't look like he had any business for Ra's or whoever it was he was working with nowadays.
At that, he merely shrugged; "Can't I visit a good friend?"
Well, that certainly proved that he wasn't here on business. Edward Nigma, ever since visiting Harry's cell around a year ago, had started to visit at least thrice a week. It was usually with important business of sorts, a messenger from Ra's bearing all forms of gifts for Harry and dealings to speak of with Jonathan. Routine visits were done that Edward would drop by Harry's cell (if he wasn't at Crane's office) with a present or two, left riddles and questions and a smug smirk which annoyed the man to no end before retreating to a meeting with Jonathan. Rarely did they deviate from that routine; if anything were to change was that the man would spend lunch with them, the first time it had happened being on Harry's birthday last year. The strange relationship eventually formed into a strange sort of friendship after that.
Harry had only noticed that there had been a silence between them when it was broken as Edward spoke up; "Where's Crane, by the way?" The way it was asked in a nonchalant way told him that it had only been asked out of fleeting curiosity more than concern for the man. He figured it was just another quirk of Jonathan and Edward's friendly rivalry; rivalry of what exactly, he didn't know.
But the question made the man scowl, a sulking air settling around him. "Working," was his curt answer. Jonathan had been working day and night almost nonstop for the past few weeks barely having time for Harry. They didn't even do their nightly activities anymore, the man always slumping down into bed exhausted when he couldn't take staying up forty hours straight anymore. Harry tried to help once but was blatantly kicked out of the doctor's lab when he made clear that he preferred doing Chemistry work on his own. It was work, work, work and Harry grumbled at the thought of him sounding like an old wife with a workaholic husband. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't help but flush and he hugged his knees and hid his face in embarrassment. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he felt lonely and was a bit glad that Edward came around to visit and alleviate some of that loneliness.
The older man just nodded and a relieved expression, one Harry did not see, flitted over his face momentarily and he couldn't help as he sighed as well. "Come on, forget that guy. Let's go out and walk around in the snow; you have grounds privileges right? I would be surprised if Crane didn't give you that," he said, elbowing the other in the ribs, earning a swat in return and a look from the orange clad male.
"Go out… what's up with you? You never want to go out for a walk unless there's something troubling you Mister E," he said, looking at the elder gentleman with disbelief and worry. He was worried enough that he even didn't mind as Edward laid his head tiredly on his lap, instead choosing to run his fingers through the man's brown tresses. "Is this about the Arthur Brown bloke you go on about? Are you sure you don't actually like the guy?"
Edward huffed in annoyance and shook his head, a scowl forming on his face at the mention of that annoying man's name. "There's no way I like that moron; I already know who I like, thank you very much," he replied hotly, like a petulant child who was being teased by an adult. "But, no, it's not him; it's just… a question, a riddle with answers I can't seem to figure out. Eh, it's stupid… I'm stupid," he sighed, mumbling the last part through gritted teeth.
Harry couldn't help but frown at this, hating when others went into a pitch of self belittling and he flicked the man in the forehead with a smile. "You're not stupid, not at all, don't torture yourself over it Mister E. It must be hard if you can't get it; you're one of the smartest people I know – and I've known people like Hermione, Dumbledore and Snape!" he chided, his small smile growing as he saw the other smile shyly in return. He had learned, after a while, that the man had quite the fragile ego despite how much he boasted about being superior to everyone else and he had quite the want, the need to prove it most of the time. Acknowledgement and praise never hurt as well, especially when what he said was the truth.
He puffed up his chest as best as one could puff up one's chest while lying down before a thoughtful look came across his face. He contemplated something, clearly torn apart at what to decide or not and Harry could see the expression on his face that he had whenever he was about to ask someone for help or a favor. Harry wouldn't offer help knowing that only aggravated Mister Nigma, especially when it came to riddles, and knew that he had to wait for him to ask for it. He didn't have to wait long for the other to speak up though; "You think you can help me Harry?"
The younger man put a finger to his chin, mocking someone who was thinking hard and shrugged. "Hmm, I'm no Ravenclaw but I've been told I can be bloody brilliant sometimes," he grinned widely. That was a yes, of course.
Edward made to open his mouth to speak but shut it. He went silent in thought, once more – he was doing a lot of thinking today… more than usual at least, until he got a determined look on his face. He started: "Of no use to one and yet absolute bliss to two; the small boy gets it for nothing, the young man has to lie for it, the old man has to buy it. The baby's right, the lover's privilege," an unreadable expression flitted over his face for a moment before he continued. "The hypocrite's mask, to the young girl – faith, to the married woman – hope, to the old maid – charity… What am I?"
The not Ravenclaw found himself thinking, trying to figure out the riddle that had his genius friend so baffled. His expressions, while he thought, changed a lot from deep thought to frustration back and forth and other things in between and the man in his lap just resorted to watching the face before him. It went on a while, a good minute or two until his shoulders slumped; "I got nothing, sorry." He scratched the back of his head with a sigh, looking quite apologetic even as the man in his lap continued to stare, as if he were deciding something.
A determined look crossed over Edward's face; "Do you want to know the answer?"
"You figured it out? Well, what is it?" Harry tilted his head at him in curiosity.
Of course, it only proved to make him even more curious when he was beckoned with a hand to draw nearer. "Come closer," he was told and he thought that the answer would be whispered into his ear so he did as he was told, leaning forward. "Closer," Edward said again and Harry went along, amused. Edward probably wanted to keep the answer a secret, didn't want Crane to hear it or something like that – to make sure he was still the smarter of them. He smiled when the other even went so far as to lift his head up to get nearer.
He wasn't quite expecting it when the man's hand went up to his neck and pulled him down. Harry made to protest but the words died down in his throat when lips met; Mister E, Edward, was chaste and careful, unsure how the other would react. But Harry didn't react, everything stopped, he couldn't move and his mind went blank for a moment which felt like forever.
Slowly, he regained himself and Harry place a hand on the other man's chest and gently pushed him down.
The look on Edward's face when their lips parted killed him but… but he couldn't do this to Jonathan. He couldn't betray himself to another like that when Jonathan had been the one who took him in, who cared for him all these years, held him tight in their sleep and made him feel loved and wanted. "He doesn't love you; he loves your fear. He doesn't deserve you; he's just using you…" he whispered.
Hesitantly, Edward pushed himself up, removing his head from Harry's lap so that they sat side by side together once more. Silence reigned between them, either unsure of what to say – should one even say anything in a situation like this? Edward wouldn't apologize, he wasn't sorry at all for what he did, and Harry didn't know if this was something you got angry about. It was all just confusing and a tad bit depressing and he selfishly wished he could talk with Ron or Hermione. He imagined the Weasley would tell him to sock the bloke in the face while his wife would berate him and tell him that he should think about his next move. The awkward air in between them was torturous and thick that you could cut it with a knife. They both resorted to staring out the office window, watching as white snow drifted down lazily from the skies.
There was the unspoken question of who would dare to break the silence first. But neither of them did as the door to the office opened making Mister Nigma look back to see who it was – only to frown when, who else but, Jonathan Crane walked in with a questioning glance toward their direction. "Nigma," he greeted with a curt nod and a not too pleased expression on his face. He didn't like the man snooping around but at least it seemed that Harry had been with him so the man couldn't have done anything unwanted in his office.
Of course, he only snooped around to annoy the other man. "Crane," he responded stiffly and stood up, leaving Harry at the window sill alone. Edward made to leave but stopped at the raised brow on the doctor's face, no doubt questioning his business here in his office. He lied; "Mister Al Ghul wanted to question your progress on the project." Of course Ra's really wasn't asking that, he knew they already had frequent reports every Friday and today was a Thursday. He hoped that Crane would just think that the man was just being impatient though.
Cool blue eyes wandered over to the younger man still staring out the snow, pretending as if he weren't listening to their exchange. "Tell him everything is going as planned, nothing to worry about. Is that all you're here for, Nigma?" Crane threw him an insulted look and he gestured for him to leave.
He gladly complied with one last look at Harry.
With him gone, Jonathan made a beeline for his desk to open drawers and retrieve papers. Then stopped, with another questioning look shot at the younger man's back… he should have flocked over to him by now as he usually did when he returned from work. His unresponsive state to his arrival was quite unusual; did that annoying Nigma have something to do with it? "Harry," he called out and saw as the man jumped, stilled and slowly made to look at him. The doctor couldn't help but lick his lips hungrily when he saw that small smidgen of fear in the man's eyes… Fear of what though? What had Nigma done?
Harry feared, that small fear, that what had transpired between him and Mister E would ruin their friendship… and would ruin his relationship with Jonathan if he ever found out about it. A smile that didn't quite reach his poison green eyes graced his face; "S-Sorry, I'm afraid I was zoning off. You're done with work, doctor J?"
I'm afraid I was zoning off;interesting choice of words.
The doctor shook his head; "I'm just here to get some documents. It'll be another all nighter, you see the chemicals aren't quite-" he started, about to go off into a spiel about chemistry until he saw the exasperated and tired look the man had taken on. Of course he didn't know much about science, considering his alternative education so it was a look he often adopted when he started to talk about scientific jargon. So he stopped, thinking he should at least do that much as he would be leaving the man alone for quite a while once more. He smiled, closing the drawers, required papers in hand as he walked to the man and squeezed his shoulder; "Then again, I think I need a break and some dinner; a hot meal sounds good right about now."
"Do you think they have some corn beef sandwiches?" he asked, dusting snow from his still horrendously orange jumpsuit (maybe he should use a color changing charm on it?) and stood up. He craved a corn beef sandwich, mostly because he always got them whenever Ron refused to eat them.
Jonathan's smile grew while his hand still on Harry's shoulder as he steered them out of the office. "Hmm, not really something fitting for supper but they probably do." His hand never left his shoulder, even as he locked the door. "I'm going to need a cup of coffee too."
"That sounds nice."