Chapter XLIII
Like a Cthulu wet dream, Rainbow Dash was a horror beyond horrors. She was a shapeless, indescribable mass of flesh and limbs and stuff. She was about the size of a mammoth from the deepest birthing pits of Doom Krathoool. Rainbow Dash slowly lumbered towards her dinner. Tongues slithered out of horrible, horrible mouths that were in places where mouths should never be found and lashed at the air before her. Ghastly penile digits of unthinkable sorts swung carelessly here and there with murderous intentions. Rarity laid an egg.
The Rainbow Dash was so close at this point; the three could almost taste the porn particles that formed a slimy film in the air around her. As despair filled their minds, swirly clouds began to form in the sky above and within minutes, it was raining ninjas, but these weren't your algebra 1 teacher's ninjas, neigh, they were cyber ninjas with dreadlocks. They swarmed the arena and began battling the Martian zebra orcs. Spears and armor clashed, blood rained, lasers disintegrated, and souls were spread on English muffins and eaten. However, the invading cyber ninjas were in for a surprise, as the Martian zebra orcs shed their meat disguises and revealed their true cyber ninja forms. A brutal battle ensued. This was all fine and dandy, but failed to distract Raibow Dash from her prey. It would take more than a few thousand pathetic cyber ninjas with dreadlocks to kill Rainbow Dash, even with their plasma katana arms. She devoured any that dared come near her with such monstrous ferocity that even for a creature such as her, it was a unthinkably sickening display. When prey was swallowed, it was chewed by millions of tiny chainsaw teeth, then sent through an esophagus-like tube to the inter dimensional portal at Rainbow Dash's core that lead to a pocket dimension containing the all the rest of her organs and stomachs where it would then be painfully digested for a thousand years or so.
"Is this some sort of pathetic rescue attempt?" Twilight asked aloud without a modicum of gratitude. Just then, a raging fireball hurdling from the sky landed on Rainbow Dash, sploding her. As viscous brown blood, organs, bones, flesh, demonite crystals, guns, monster trucks, and whatever else Rainbow Dash was composed of rained down from above, a huge titanium battle mech propelled itself out of the smoking crater in the place it had landed with two built-in jet boosters. Celestia recognized this particular battlemech and scowled.
"Luna…" she hissed and signaled Winnie the necromancer with a slight gesture. The harbinger of dark ages to come vanished in a cloud of honey-starved souls.
The battlemech was roughly the shape of a pony and stood on its two immaculate steel legs. At the ends of its forearms were two gargantuan chain guns. At the center of its steel mock pony head was a tank full of green liquid. Floating inside of this tank was the living head of a dark blue alicorn with a black crown and a flowing star-dotted blue mane.
"Quickly, ponies, into my ventral sacs!" urged Princess Luna in the voice of renowned actor, Christopher Lee as she staved off oncoming waves of cyber ninjas with her werewolf shield generator. Werewolves were procured out of seemingly thin air, but in actuality they were transformed from water molecules into the fierce man/wolf warriors.
"Ulj yakghournalga necrigrosa!" shouted a voice from nowhere. The werewolves and cyber ninjas melted and reformed themselves into hell knights from the 23rd bacon realm.
"We must go NOW! Celestia must be destroyed while we still have a chance!" Luna commanded. She opened a fairly spacious compartment containing her ventral sacs, storage organs she would use to help carry her underlings across solar systems. The ponies dodged fiery projectiles thrown by the hell knights and boarded Princess Luna, but it was already too late. A small carrier ship had whisked Celestia away off planet.
"Curse you Celestia! You haven't seen the last of PRINCESS LUNAZORGH!" Luna swore out loud. She fired round after round of mana bullets and missiles at the ever growing number of hell knights crawling up from the ground, but to no avail. Her chain gun arm shifted inside-out and into class 9 wellwerefucked cannon. It emitted a blast so powerful it blew up that entire half of Mars and propelled her into space.