Chapter XIII

"We'll burn for an eternity for treason!" Twilight cried for about the thirtieth time. Rarity and Applejong were annoyed beyond bagels.

"Somepony PLEASE shut her up!" cried desperate Applejack. Rarity cocked her hoof back, and then slapped Twilight with great deal of force. She continued to blather on for a few seconds before the slap took effect. Twilight made a static whirring sound before beginning to talk about yesterday's football game.

"Well, Mike, the Atlanta Falcons have had a pretty decent season so far, even with their-" static again.

"Dammit! Applejack, get out and fix the antenna!"

"Um, but aren't we traveling through the vacuum of space inside that Luna character to Dagon knows where?"

There was a thud, and a small metal flap opened. The ponies departed Luna and stepped into a circular room lined with various machines and super computers. A glass dome topped the room, revealing the cosmos that encompassed the resistance command station. Luna eyed each of them with a fervent desire. "You three have been chosen to lead our armies into battle against Celestia. We have seen your disobedience to the spoon, and it pleases us. However, we must ensure that you are truly loyal to us, now." Before Twilight could protest, she was carried away by two gorillas and thrown into a room with a smiley face on the door. Applejack and Rarity followed.

Sounds of exquisite pain were heard from behind the steel door. Twilights cries were accompanied by what sounded like a saw and blue sparks of light visible through the paper thin crevice beneath the steel door. Applejack and Rarity stood outside and ate the complimentary hotdogs Luna had given them. The buzzing sound turned to an elephant's trumpet, a car alarm, a dog barking, the sound of a comically oversized mallet hitting something, a mooing cow, and pies being thrown in someone's face. The door slid open, and Twilight stumbled out with a scar on her head and white pie filling on her face. She had an empty expression with a huge grin the size of a long thing.

Luna sniffed Applejack's mane. An orgy was on the horizon, but not yet, not while the church of spoon still had power over the universe. "Twilight, you must find the one they call Pinkie Pie. She will take you across the river that borders the realm of the living and the 35th dead realm. That is where the only Faust was banished to so long ago. Find her and she will bestow upon you ultimate power that you will use to carry out her retribution. Your journey begins now!" Luna grabbed Twilight by the mane and chucked her out of the air lock. A blue stream followed her as she flew through space towards a nearby planet. She was burnt to a shriveled bacon crisp before she even entered the planet's atmosphere.

Luna turned to Applejack and Rarity and said "As for you two, well, I have a very special task in mind." A crazed fit of laughter overtook Luna and the two frightened pwnies backed away while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.