So I got this story idea after all of the Shades of Gray hype. I got to thinking about what if Ranger caught Steph or the girls reading the book. And this is the result. Not sure if I'll continue or not, but be sure to let me know what you think and we'll go from there. It could easily stand as a one shot as well.
The characters are not mine, I'm just taking them along for a spin. Thanks!

My alarm is blaring as I wake up and roll over to smack it a couple of times, eventually silencing the morning beast. And so starts another day in the ordinary life of me, Stephanie Plum. Well, ordinary for me at least. I'm a thirty something year old bounty hunter, mom to an aging hamster, daughter and granddaughter to an Italian/Hungarian family, and occasional lover to Ranger Manoso. Yum!

You see, I dated Morelli, the Italian heartthrob off and on for many years until one day we were finally honest with ourselves and each other. This bout of honesty also happed after he hopped a plane to Hawaii and found me playing "Mrs." to Ranger. I'm sure he assumes Ranger and I were together physically, and since that's technically the truth, I think that topic was best left untouched. Somehow during our breakup we were able to side-step that issue and have an adult conversation. Over a Pino's pizza one night we decided to salvage the friendship that remained and move on. We still get together occasionally for pizza or to watch a game, and to be honest, I'm probably closer to him now that I was when I was dating him. He's currently dating one of the dispatchers at the police department. I've met her and she seems perfect for Joe.

I know you're probably asking 'how can she be a sometime lover to someone'? Well, truth is, with Ranger you take what you can get. Although someday I see us definitely being more, I'm not sure exactly what more entails. Our time together, both inside and outside of the bedroom, is always spectacular. But we seem to walk a fine line, both giving each other exactly what we need and never anything more. I feel like he's holding back on me, and I, in turn, hold back on him- never fully giving my heart to him for fear that he might turn me away or not reciprocate. So for the past few months we've been falling in and out of each others' beds and days when it's convenient. There's no expectations on either side- or at least I don't think there is. Geez, who knows.

I realize that examining my current state of life isn't getting the bills paid, so I groan and roll out of bed. After a quick shower, I jump into jeans and a t-shirt and apply Mr. Alexander's miracle to my hair after wondering why I bother since it's going up into a pony tail anyway. After dropping a few grapes and carrots into Rex's cage, I'm out the door and in a mad rush to the Tasty Pastry.

I swing through and get a dozen to go and an extra large coffee since my inner diva tells me it's just gonna be that kind of a day. Ten minutes later and I'm at the Bonds office delivering morning breakfast to Lula and Connie. I mean, technically it's a good deed, right? And I really shouldn't eat all 12 donuts.

"Hey girls, what's new?" I ask, as I park myself on the naughyde sofa and settle in for my daily dose of caffeine and sugar. I begin to inhale a Boston Crème donut while another is carefully balanced on my knee. Who says I don't have any talents?

I look up to see Connie and Lula reaching for donuts from the box I brought in while seriously engrossed in a book. Connie is seated at her desk, while half of Lula's voluptuous behind is parked on the edge of said desk and her cleavage is spilling out of yet another too tight tank top. Lula leans over Connie and they both can't seem to take their eyes off of whatever it is that they are reading. Both of them give me a noncommittal groan of acknowledgement, and continue reading.

"Hellloooo? Don't I get a good morning? Even after bringing breakfast? I have you know those donuts cost me almost ten bucks, and it wasn't even my turn to buy, so the least you can do is say hey and thanks!"

Connie and Lula are still reading, and don't seem to realize I'm even here. The bell above the door rings and I look up to see Ranger walk in. Connie and Lula still don't look up from their book, so whatever they are reading must be really good.

"Hey Babe. " This from Ranger, the man of many words.

"Ranger. How's it going? How'd the pickup in Atlantic City go this weekend?"

"We got 'em. Simple takedown. We got back late last night. You coming by the office today?"

"Don't I always?" I smiled, and gave Ranger what I hoped was a sexy look. Not that this was any different than my normal routine. Ever since the Morelli split, I'd decided that FTA work was nice, but I needed something regular and dependable as well. I think secretly Ranger thought I would eventually quit, but the benefits were nice, and the fact that my bank balance hadn't seen negative digits in over three months was an added bonus. I usually worked my FTA work around my 9-5 hours at Rangeman and on weekends. This way, I could be more selective about the cases I took on, and Rangeman still was contracted to take on the higher bonds or those that I felt uncomfortable taking.

Ranger placed a hand to my neck, and gently ran his fingertips along my neck and down to my collar bone, making me smile. "What's up with those two, Babe? They seem…different."

I nodded. "Yep, not sure what's the deal with them. They haven't said a word since I came in. Whatever is in that book must be Oscar worthy."

Ranger stood up from the sofa and went to stand behind Connie's chair, which meant that in essence he was reading over both Connie and Lula. A faint smile played on the outer corners of his lips as he skimmed the pages. He leaned forward, placing his chin just above Connie's shoulder and in a loud voice spoke. "Ladies, interesting reading material you have there!"

Now I've seen comedy shows that made me laugh 'til I hurt. And the night that Cal passed out when Valerie was in labor was pretty spectacular too. But nothing, and I do mean nothing, could ever beat what happened next. Lula and Connie were so startled that they both screamed-loudly! The voluptuous half of Lula's behind that was perched on the desk wasn't quite enough to keep her grounded, and the result was her falling off the desk and onto the floor while taking the phone and several files with her. Connie had a lemon filled donut in her hand and must have squeezed it when Ranger startled her, since she was now covered from chin to lap in lemon custard. And to top it all off, the interesting reading material was tossed during the episode and was now lying in front of me. I bent to pick up the book as I shook with laughter. After I finally got my breath, I stood, taking the book with me and applauded Ranger. "That's got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life, Ranger. What was so interesting that they didn't realize we were here?"

Ranger chuckled while pointing to the book. "See for yourself, Babe. Connie, is Vinnie in?"

Connie was still shaken but nodded her head as best she could. Truth is that she's still a little scared of Ranger I think, and she wouldn't dare say anything to him about the incident. She helped Lula up while Lula mumbled something about red rooms and ties.

I laughed a little, and looked at Connie and Lula. "So you two think you're gonna be ok now? What's got you so distracted this morning?"

"White girl, it's this book I tell ya. This book! Connie's sister in law told her about it, and believe me, you just won't be able to put it down. We've been reading all morning, and that's saying something 'cause normally I'm not a reader."

Connie smiled and nodded. "She's right Steph. Everyone's reading it. It's on the New York Times bestseller list. For months now! I can't believe you've not heard about it."

I looked at the book in my hands. It looked simple enough. Black cover, with a tie on the front. Fifty Shades of Gray it said. I leafed through the pages, but couldn't get the jist from the few paragraphs I read. "What's so great about it?"

Lula spoke up. "What's so great about it? What's so great about it? It's the shit! You see this guy, Christian, is rich you see. And this girl, Anastasia…well, Ana for short, goes to interview him. And she's all virgin like and he's a rich businessman. And well, she falls into his office. And they do the interview. And he eventually stalks her, but in a nice way, and finds her and convinces her to go out with him. But it turns out he's into the lifestyle-what do you call it Connie…?"

Connie licked more lemon filling off of a finger, and replied. "BDSM."

"Yea, that's it…BDSM lifestyle. And this crazy lady Eleana taught him all this stuff when he was fifteen. Fifteen! Can you believe that?"

I placed the book back on Connie's desk. "Hmmm. BDSM. Isn't that the kinky dangerous stuff? I'm surprised you're reading that Connie."

Lula huffed. "So you're not surprised I'm reading it? Just because my former profession was a lady of the night don't mean I'm into kinky shit. Most people like it as vanilla as it comes. Besides, housewives all over the country are reading this. It's making waves across America. You're just upset 'cause you ain't in the know."

"Yea, well I know plenty. And I know that this whatever you call it…"

"BDSM"- this from Connie and Lula.

"Yes, well, BDSM. It's not for me. In fact, I'm pretty satisfied with what did you call it Lula? Vanilla? Nothing wrong with a little vanilla. Nothing at all."

Just then Ranger came out of Vinnie's office and picked the offending book off of Connie's desk. "So you ladies deciding on book club?"

Connie stammered. "Uh…yea…yea. That's it. Bookclub. We're having bookclub at Steph's apartment this week. Right Lula?"

"Yea. Right! Bookclub…"

"Babe, since when are you into soft porn?"

"Ranger, supposedly it's not soft porn. Lula says it's about kinky stuff…"

"Like what, Babe?"'

I leaned into him and whispered. "Stuff like, well…you know….beee-deee-ssss-emmmmm."

"What Babe?"

"Oh, nevermind!"

Ranger looked like he was thinking about smiling. He looked down at the book and tossed it to Lula. "Enjoy your reading ladies. Steph, can I see you outside?"

Ranger stepped out and I turned to Connie and Lula. Both were fanning themselves from the view of Ranger. He tended to do this to them most days. I guess they were having a delayed reaction from earlier.

As I walked out the door and towards Ranger's truck, he pulled me to him for a seriously hot kiss. "So Babe, you're into a monthly bookclub now?"

"Ummm, well. Not really. Actually they were just telling me about it. I haven't read it. Supposedly it's a best seller."

"Babe."

"Honest. I just bought donuts. I have no desire to read about kinky stuff."

"You sure about that Babe?"

"Why, Ranger? You got a copy of Fifty Shades in your truck? You been reading kinky stuff?"

"Babe, I haven't read it, but you'd have to have lived under a rock to not have heard about the series of books over the past few months. You mean to tell me you're just now hearing about it?"

"So sue me! I've been busy. I work, I capture FTA's. What spare time I have is usually spent with you…engaging in, as Lula would call it, vanilla sex."

"Babe, I enjoy vanilla sex with you, but I told you once I was sexually sick. Remember?"

I gulped, not exactly comfortable with where this conversation was suddenly headed. "So what are you saying, Ranger? You want me to read Fifty Shades? Is that what you're saying?"

Ranger smiled. "No Babe. You don't need to read it unless you want to. But as far as BDSM, there's a lot to it that you might enjoy. It's very….liberating. Not all of it is whips and chains."

"So have you read books about it, Ranger?"

Ranger smiled and laughed. "Read 'em, Babe? No... I could write them."