4My first Hunger Games fanfic. I don't usually frequent the Hunger Games archive, so I can't judge if this has been written a million times before (I feel like it has), but I felt like this song was so perfect for the book/movie, I HAD to do it.
I remember tears streaming down your face when I said I'll never let you go…
I remembered the way the tears had felt when they streamed down my face, carving watery trails through the grime on my cheeks as I gripped Rue's little hands as though I could hold her there with me, forever. I couldn't let her go. I could never let her go.
"I clutch it like a lifeline. As if it's me who's dying instead of Rue."
My hands are shaking as I watch the light slowly leave her eyes, her skin taking on an ashy parlor as the shadows seem to creep up upon us. I can feel their yearning to embrace us in their arms as surely as I know that they are claiming Rue from my own.
"Don't go." I remember she says, and I watch the shadows draw back, just for the moment, as she reminds me that she is still here, still with me, still desperately holding onto me and begging for me to not leave her alone.
"'Course not. Staying right here,' I say. I move in closer to her, pulling her head onto my lap. I gently brush the dark, thick hair behind her ear."
But then I pull away from my memories, and as I open my eyes to see the worried face of Prim above me, I realize that Rue's dead. She's dead and gone and I left her all alone to rest in a bed of flowers.
The wetness on my face can only be concluded to be tears as Prim gently worms her way beneath my covers, ignoring my halfhearted grumbles as she wraps her small arms around my chest and grips me like she is holding me from falling apart and breaking into a thousand pieces.
"Just close your eyes," she whispers into my shoulder as I bury my face into her hair and remind myself that she is still here, still with me, still alive, and the shadows hadn't claimed her from me yet.
"Sun's going down," I say more to myself than her, but she still clings to me like a lifeline as she repeats to me, "Just close your eyes. You'll be alright. Close your eyes, Katniss."
I comply.
I see Rue's face again as she smiles at me from beneath my eyelids, and this time I feel myself begin to smile back as I watch the sky burn in its fiery shades of red and orange and blue and purple behind her. Sunrise or sunset, I can't tell, but I see Rue's lips move as she whispers "You're alright Katniss. No one can hurt you now."
My smile disappears as I feel myself begin to fall back into despair and confusion as I struggle to understand what she means, but she only smiles her small smile and looks toward the sun.
"I'm usually up highest, so I'm the first to see the flag that signals quitting time."
"Rue?" I ask carefully, fearfully, as though the very sound of her name would tear her away from my dreams and throw me back into the scenes of blood and terror and bitter faces.
She holds her hands out to me, and I take it hesitantly as she smiles coyly and looks out towards the sun.
"Morning light," she whispers as she leads me towards the sun, and now I'm beginning to pull back again in distress as she stops again to wait for me to return my hand to hers. She is grinning now, and the light is shining in her eyes again as she says reverently, "We'll be alright now, Katniss."
I am still frozen in fear, fearful of what Rue is leading me to, fearful of why Rue is still smiling at me after I left her to sleep alone in her bed of flowers.
But then she repeats her words to me again, "We'll be alright, now. You and I'll be safe," and the sound of her soft reassurance and the sight of the light in her eyes allows me to slowly, hesitantly relax, and take her hand again.
Ooooo OoooOo
Prim was gone.
Prim was dead and gone and passed and tonight I couldn't even bear the sight of my bed as I tiredly shuffled my way toward a different place to sleep other than my bed and it's dead memories.
Sleep eludes me the whole night, and I don't dare to look out my window as the sky lights up again in its brilliant colors. Brilliant colors or not, I can only see Prim being blown to bits; the world on fire; the house on fire. My darling Prim was blown to ashes as everything around me burned with fire, and the sun only fuels the images in my head as I burrow under my covers to hide as the war outside my door raged on it its bloody fire.
Prim.
Prim Prim Prim Prim Prim.
Eventually I'm screaming her name and tearing at my hair, and the blood that collects under my nails only serves to remind me of the blood on my hands.
"So people really do tear out their hair and beat the ground with their fists."
There are suddenly arms wrapping around me again, holding me from falling apart and breaking into a thousand pieces, and I only have time to mutter hopefully, "Prim?" before I realize that the arms around me are strong, not small, and the hair that my face is burrowed into is definitely not Prim's.
"It's alright, Katniss. You're alright." Peeta mutters anxiously into my ear, and I find that my cheeks are wet again as I sob uncontrollably in his arms and bury my bloody fingernails into his skin.
I bite my lip to cut off the rest of my sobs, but the taste the blood pervading my mouth after I bite through skin sends me into another fit of hysterical screaming when I'm reminded of all the blood covering my skin, drowning my soul.
I feel myself falling, even with Peeta's arms wrapped securely around me, and I fear that this time I may not arise again when Peeta opens his mouth and whispers into my ear:
Deep in the meadow
Under the willow
I freeze so suddenly in his arms that I feel him stop to check if I'm still breathing, but when he deems that I'm still there – just barely – he continues on.
A bed of grass
A soft, green pillow.
Tears are still streaming down my face, but I slowly force myself to relax and hold on to Peeta's lullaby, even when the music's gone and his voice is becoming rougher and rougher with suppressed emotions.
He whispers the rest of the lines, but it's only after I hear the final words – here is the place where I love you – do I let out a tired sigh and relax in his embrace.
"Close your eyes, Katniss," he whispers in my ear, and I comply.
"Sun's going down." I whisper, more to myself than to him, and he nods, even though we both know the sun is slowly rising outside in the daylight.
I am seeing Rue again now, but with Prim besides her, and behind them in the brilliant sunlight I see Finnick and Beetee and Wiress and Mags and everyone I'd ever seen disappear before me reappearing in the morning light. They are all smiling and laughing, as though they had never been murdered; never been tortured; never been killed, and I find myself feeling the weight on my shoulders and in my heart begin to lighten, just a bit, as both Prim and Rue hold out their hands to me.
"You'll be alright now, Katniss," they both say.
I'm not crying, but I still feel the wetness on my cheek as I take in the sight of both of them and wish that I could hold them with me forever. It's only after I take their hands do I realize that they're safe now; no one could ever hurt them ever again.
The thought makes my heart ache again, but as they begin to pull me towards the morning light, I hear the soft lullaby echoing again in my soul, and I can only allow myself to be led into the sunlight, with the words of the others around me repeating their mantra:
"We're alright, Katniss. Everything is going to be alright. You and I'll be safe."
The sound reverberates in my soul, harmonizing with the lullaby, and I slowly follow Rue and Prim into a dreamless sleep.
Just close your eyes. You'll be all right. Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound.
I hope you caught the snippets of song lyrics in there. I never really enjoyed fics with random song lyrics shoved between spaces in the words (though I have read some fantastic ones), so I tried it a different way.
(BTW, italics, besides the ones in the beginning and the end, are quotes from the books)
The Hunger Games is such a compelling story to tell, I actually wrote this all out in three hours. Probably the fastest I've ever wrote something.
Hope you enjoyed this! There's a button down there, right there, underneath this...why don't you go and push it? You know you want to... :D