A/n: So, I was really bored, trying to fall asleep, and this idea came blossoming into my head, and I couldn't help myself. Enjoy!

p.s. this is a crack fic. Ooc's are present, but sorry, no pairs. :/

Fang: What is it with you and torturing me with these?

Me: I do it because I can!

Fang: *mumbles something*

Me: What was that, my story victim- ahem, I mean, Fang?

Fang: *still quiet*I said if you know what I mean.

Me: Fang, Max hasn't told you to get your head out of the gutter yet, has she?

Fang: …

Me: *suffocates him with pillow*

Disclaimer: I will now hypnotize you into believing that I don't own MR… though it's true…

The flock was sitting in the living room, watching an episode of True Blood. Fang sighed and looked at his watch, thankful for the small piece of technology to distract him from cheesy vampires and overly dramatic girls. Not to mention the occasional popcorn kernel that whizzed by my head as Iggy and the Gasman chucked them at each other. It's 10:30 already? Jeez, time flies when vampires are afoot. Fang thought.

"Hey guys. I'm headed for bed." Fang said, he stood, stretched and popped his back in 8 places he didn't think could pop, then started walking to his room. As he reached the bottom of the stairs, the oh-so-familiar sharp pain of an itch appeared. Unfortunately, it was in that place. You know, the dreaded crotch itch. Fang tried to stifle his yelp of surprise as his legs automatically crossed, his right hand starting to twitch, wanting desperately to scratch the itch.

"Fang? What's going on?" Max asked, her voice drifting from the living room.

"Nothing." Fang mentally slapped himself at how surprisingly high in pitch his voice had gotten. Knowing Max would've heard the change in Fang's voice, he uncrossed his legs, shifting so that he was still trying to get rid of the itch using his legs, but it was much less noticeable that he had something unbearable happening to him. As he predicted, Max rounded the corner to see Fang leaning awkwardly against the wall, his legs a tad pinched together, his right hand twitching.

"Why's your hand twitching? Are you ok?" Max asked. Knowing better than to speak with his vocal change, Fang shrugged, then nodded, answering both questions. The rest of the flock had gotten up to see that was going on, leaving the cheesy vampires there to act for nobody.

"Fang?" Iggy asked. Fang looked over to him, and he had a slight grin on his face, like he knew something. "Is it what I think it is?" He asked. Fang gave him a confused glance.

"I don't know. What are you thinking?" Fang asked. Iggy's small grin widened to a full out one.

"CR-dot-I?" Iggy asked. Fang gave a "mhmm." And Iggy was on the floor laughing his ass off. The rest of the flock was just standing there, confused as get-out, and even more so when Angel started cracking up laughing. Angle almost couldn't breathe, she was laughing, and she had to lean against the wall for support as she was bent over, she was laughing so hard.

"Stop it, Ig! You know how painful it is!" Fang growled through clenched teeth. Max looked at him, slight panic on her eyes.

"What the hell hurts? What's going on, Fang?" Max demanded.

"FANG HAS A CR-DOT-I!" Iggy screamed, laughing. Gazzy and Nudge burst out laughing, leaving the only one not getting it to be Max, and she was furious.

"Someone tell me what the bloody hell is going on, or I swear, I will fatally wound you guys!" Max yelled, her anger quite obvious.

"Max," Angel said, "Fang has a crotch itch."