"So... let's clear things up. You want us to join the Avengers?" Pit
asked as he, Dark Pit, Jack Sparrow, and Nick Fury rode across the
ocean in Fury's extremely expensive and fancy jeep.
"Yup!" Nick Fury answered in an excited manner. "If we are to combat
the forces of Loki, then we need to- OMIGOSHYPANDA!"
Nick Fury quickly swerved his jeep around the shark that was standing
on the water surface, barely missing it and avoiding a bloody result.
"...As I was saying, if we are to combat Loki, then we'll need more
"...Wat." Pit, Dark Pit, and Jack Sparrow said in unision.
Nick Fury looked at them like they were crazy.
"I carefully explain everything, and you say 'Wat'? You mean... you
DON'T KNOW WHY WE NEED CINNAMON ROLLS?"
"I love me a good cinnamon roll, mate." Jack Sparrow said, before
getting slapped by Dark Pit.
"PAY ATTENTION." the dark angel ordered.
The pirate nodded. "Yes mummy."
"...Anywayzees, cinnamon rolls are Loki's true weakness." Nick Fury
explained. "So we decided to create a NEW Avengers team to go over to
Barney's Bakery and buy some!"
Pit facepalmed. "You gotta be poopin' kidding me..."
"Oh, but I'm not." Nick Fury replied. He then proceeded to pull a long
roll of paper out of his ear. "Would you like me to explain the
The other three rolled their eyes. "Fine..."
"Alright then! The members of this new Avengers team go as follows:
Pit, Dark Pit, Jack Sparrow,-"
"CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!" Jack corrected.
Nick pulled out a chainsaw. "SHADDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPP!"
"AS I WUZ SAYING, the roster goes as follows: Pit, Dark Pit, freakin'
CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow,-"
"Ah, you remembered to say 'Captain'. Dank you." Jack inrerrupted again.
Nick pulled out a bat and slammed it into Jack's head. "Anyhow, after
that we have Gumby, Wreck-It Ralph, Bob the Tomato, Larry the
Cucumber, and Luke Skywalker."
Dark Pit's eye twitched. "...Gumby? Seriously? Bob? Larry? YOU ARE
SERIOUSLY TEAMING US UP WITH A GREEN CLAY FREAK AND THE MAIN
CHARACTERS OF VEGGIETALES?"
"Well, I thought it was a good idea..."
"IT IS NOT!"
"...Okay okay, cheezits..." Nick sighed as he looked out over the
ocean from his small jeep.
"Um, Mr. Fury, who's driving this thing?" Pit asked while shoving a
popsicle up his nose.
"Whose driving? Well, that would be Gnat."
"Oh, Gnat. Well, at least it wasn't Danica Patric- wait, GNAT?" Pit
shouted in question. I turned around and gave them a weak grin.
"Uh, hey guys!" I greeted.
"I'M GONNA FREAKIN' KILL YOU!" Dark Pit shouted angrily.
"No, no you won't. That would be far too violent." I pointed out.
Jack lifted an eyebrow. "Wait, isn't this story rated T?"
"Well, yeah, but I only did that just to be safe..."
"So you really have no reason to rate this T? THERE WAS NO VIOLENCE,
AND NO LANGUAGE!"
"Actually, there was a tad of language back in chapter-"
"NO THERE WASN'T! YOU CENSORED ALL OF IT! YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO
REASON TO RATE THIS T!"
I rolled my eyes and snapped my fingers. Suddenly, a huge shark jumped
out of the water and ripped Dark Pit out of the car. It dragged him
into the water, sinking his teeth into the angel and staining the
water red. He ripped him limb from limb! But that was only the
beginning. Slowly and painfully, the shark ripped the thin veins out
"You happy now, Jack?" I asked.
The pirate nodded, his eyes widened in shock. I smiled politely and
revived Dark Pit with a magic pineapple dispenser.
I then piloted the jeep over to a small island.
"Gentlemen..." Nick Fury announced. "Welcome to the Avengers Seabase!"