"So that's it, huh?" Pit asked Nick Fury, as the outline of the Avenger's base neared the boat. It suddenly transformed into a helicopter and flew up over the island that the seabase was on.
"What the hell…." Dark Pit groaned at the boat's sudden transformation. "You know what, I'm not even gonna question this anymore.
"Yes sir!" Fury replied, as he cracked open a nice, cold ginger ale. "We like having a tropical location. Not only do we hold our most advanced defense technology here, but it also provides an ideal destination for fishing, surfing, hiking-" Nick Fury was interrupted as a rabbit was flung onto the helicopter's side window.
"What the fuck? Who's throwing rabbits?" Pit asked, surprised as he spilled his coffee all over Dark Pit's lap.
"Ow!" Dark Pit exclaimed, both in pain and surprise at hearing Pit swear for the first time in his life. It was almost like seven years had passed since he last heard Pit speak.
"I did!" A deep, bellowing voice replied. A yellow helicopter flew up next to theirs, and out, hanging off the side with an extra rabbit in hand, was their unveiled attacker.
"THANOS?" Jack Sparrow said, amazed.
"Hahahaha! Yes! It is I!" Thanos replied, chucking another rabbit. The helicopter rocked and swerved from the rabbit's force.
"Hey! Cut it out!" Pit said, sounding only a little bit bothered.
"No! You will fear my rabbits!" Thanos said gleefully, chucking another. This one hit the top blade of the helicopter, causing it to malfunction and start falling from the sky.
"Aaaahh!" Dark Pit screamed as he grabbed onto his seat, holding on for his life. "What do we do?" he asked in panic.
Fury shrugged. "I don't know man but this is some pretty good ginger ale." He replied, taking another sip of his fizzy drink.
"Cheers I'll drink to that one bruv," Jack added, cracking open a can of his own.
"Yeah man I love ginger ale." Pit said, as he began tanking a whole barrel of the stuff.
Dark Pit stared in horror as the spinning helicopter was nearing the tropical landmass below, surely to kill all of them when it crashed.
"You know, Pitoo…." Pit began, as he turned to his dark twin. "If you really wanted to do something about this…." His voice slowed down, and so did the helicopter. In fact, Fury and Jack had both disappeared, and nothing else seemed to be moving besides the two angels.
"What?" Dark Pit asked his lighter twin, with impatience. "What do I do?"
Pit stared at him blankly.
"WHAT, PIT?" Dark Pit shouted. Pit blinked and shook his head, before grabbing Dark Pit's shoulders, and shaking them in return.
"WAKE UP, PITOO, PLEASE MAN YOU'VE BEEN OUT FOR HOURS!"
Dark Pit blinked. "Wh-What…?"
"WAKE UP PITOO! COME ON ALREADY, WAKE UP!"
"AAAAUUUGHH!' Dark Pit exclaimed, jumping up. He shook himself to wake up fully, sweating hard in his bed.
"Dude, finally!" Pit said, rolling his eyes and taking a step back. "You know, next time you come over to Skyworld for the night, you could maybe not pass out first thing. We could've used your help with a Belunka that came through a while ago."
Dark Pit shook his head. "Sorry man…. I just had this super bizarre dream. It felt so long and so real, like some super screwed up , ten-chapter long fanfiction or something."
Pit crossed his arms. "You're not hanging out in those hot springs with the hallucinogenic herbs again, are you?" he asked. "Lady Palutena and Viridi would be pissed if you were."
"No, No…." Dark Pit replied, standing up. "Sorry Pit, I'm just really out of it right now."
Pit shrugged, before a huge grin spread across his face. "Hey, I forgot why I came to wake you up," he said, chuckling. He pulled out an envelope and handed it to Dark Pit. It was white, with a red Smash logo sealed across.
Dark Pit's eyes widened. "Another one? They want me back in?"
"Yeah dude! Congrats!" Pit cheered. "They invited back you, me, and Lady Palutena! It's gonna be huge! I think they're calling this one the 'Ultimate' tournament or something."
Dark Pit grinned. "This is awesome." He said, looking at the envelope. "Should be fun, hopefully this'll keep our brand relevant enough for a while."
"Yeah!" Pit replied. "Maybe one day we'll even get a sequel to Uprising!" he then glanced to the door, then back at Dark Pit. "Lady Palutena's made some breakfast downstairs, by the way. You should come down!"
Dark Pit nodded. "Thanks bro… I'll be down in a minute." He said as he hopped off the bed.
"We got the TV going too. I think Wipeout's playing if you want to catch up on that."
"….What? What's wrong Pitoo?"
Dark Pit shuddered, remembering back to his dream. "Um… let's just watch something else," he said, blinking to clear his head.
Pit shrugged. "Okay, I guess." He exited the room and headed down the stairs. "See you in a bit!" he said, as he went down to join Palutena.
Dark Pit massaged his temples, before turning to his pillow. He picked it up, revealing a small plastic bag. In the bag was some "magical angel mushrooms" he had found in Viridi's garden. He cringed at the memory of taking them just as he laid down, upon arriving in Skyworld the night prior.
"Never again," he said, grabbing the bag and throwing it out the window. It plummeted into the seemingly infinite sky below. Dark Pit grinned, feeling a sense of relief. A monoeye had encouraged him to try them once, and that was it. The one time he tried them, and now he could honestly say that they sucked. Now he knew why the gods and goddesses always warned about staying away from that stuff. He definitely wasn't curious enough to take another trip. He smiled and started his way down the stairs.
The reign of randomness he had experienced was finally over.
Well, there you have it folks. The finale/conclusion to the weirdest story I ever wrote in my life.
Back when I first wrote this, I was right in the middle of high school. Didn't have a ton of hobbies or a lot of friends, but that really gave me an outlet for creativity. I doubt much of that was shown on here, but it was definitely a place for me to take inspiration from others and just explore the world of writing for a little while.
Now I'm an adult, in college and hoping to graduate and get out of the massive amount of debt and stress I seem to be trapped in. But you know what? That's just life.
These stories I wrote, what I did on this site, a lot of it was goofy and pretty cringe, well, ALL OF IT was. But man was it a fun time. You guys were my community and my friends. Through the little review chats we'd have or conversations over PMs, the forum RP's and discussions, it let me meet so many people and make a ton of friends. It was great. Coming back to revisit this site, the nostalgia hit hard, and I felt like I should maybe wrap up the first goofy little crackfic that got me started on this site.
Thank you all for reading, for talking with me, for just being great people overall. I'm going to publish this final chapter and might not come back on this site ever again. It's a very crazy adult world right now lol, and I gotta get back to grinding and pulling my weight out there. But yeah, I just want to say thank you to you all. It's been amazing, and honestly I don't think my high school experience would have been very good at all if I never got to meet any of you on here.
It's crazy, really. I keep thinking about how its just so WEIRD that so many strangers can meet, talk, and form all these friendships and communities without ever meeting in person. But it did happen, and because of that I was able to meet so many people and form so many friendships. For saying that high school had a lot of rough spots for me, it definitely meant a lot to have this. If you knew me when I used to be on here, well, I hope you're doing well. I please just know that I really appreciated you. If we haven't met, then I hope you enjoy this story that my goofy, cringey 15-year-old self put up on here. Much love to you all, take it easy and stay safe. God bless.
One last time, Ciao friends.