Pink Floral fragrance with Fruity accents

Where Jim worked in a Spa sometime in his infinite past, Spock suffers from a Vulcan case of SF and McCoy is the Fairy hand cream godmother.

Eventual K/S slash!


Inspired by the fic called "Hand Fascination" by xxx.

I don't own star trek blah bah and blah, all rights goes to paramount film company and the views of Moi does not represent Star Trek XI or any of its alffilterates.

Translation- PLEASE DO NOT SUE ME.

Now! We boldly go where no one has been before!

Star date 2253.9

Time 13:04

Location: Medic Bay, Deck 11, USS Enterprise

Captain James Tiberius Kirk, or also known by many other names to a variety of different people, such as "Damnit Jim" or "illogical" or "Kirk! Get back here now!" and even "Trouble magnet that defies even Newton's 3rd Law" although Jim did swear afterwards it wasn't his fault that accidently mispronounced "ehk" to "ikh".which was no to yes in Antmium. And consequently ending up eating the ceremonial/fungi/slosho/pollen/slime drink thingy that caused his lung to swell and almost burst, and I Qoute.

"dizziness, drowsiness, blurred vision, diplopia, increased appetite, euphoria, confusion, vivid dreams, irritability, ataxia(clumsiness), attention changes, abnormal coordination, memory impairment, tremors, dysarthria, parasthesia (burning or tingling sensations), vertigo, dry mouth and constipation, vomiting and flatulence, fatigue, peripheral edema (swelling), drunkenness, abnormal walking, weight gain, depression, lethargy, agitation, hallucinations, myoclonus (involuntary twitching of muscles), hypoaesthesia (reduced sense of touch or sensation), hyperaesthesia, (increased sense of touch or sensation), tachycardia(increased heart rate), excessive salivation, sweating, flushing, rash, muscle cramp, myalgia(muscle pain), arthralgia (joint pain), thrombocytopenia (decrease of platelets in blood), kidney calculus (kidney stones), neutropenia(low white blood cells), first degree heart block, hypotension(low blood pressure), hypertension (high blood pressure), pancreatitis(inflammation of the pancreas), dysphagia(difficulty in swallowing), rhabdomyolysis (when the breakdown of damaged muscle cells is released in to the blood), and suicidal thoughts or behaviour."

Which would have caused his untimely (and tragic) death if not for the quick intervention of his first officer. God bless his pointy ears.

Still, Jim swears it was not his fault. He also argues that the Antmiums were so ashamed to have poisoned a guest that they joined the Federation anyway, so he's counting that as a win. Even if Spock says "It is Illogical to disregard your health to convince the people of Antmium to sign the treaty Captain. To avoid further repetitions of this incident, might I recommend you allow Lieutenant Urhura to act as an Interpreter on the next diplomatic mission" which , translated to non- Vulcan standard , was

" Next time, Urhura will do the talking so that you can avoid killing yourself." Jim thinks it's kinda sweet.

Hence the reason why he was here.

"Damn it Jim! I'm a doctor! Not a Masseuse!" screeches Bones,

"Of course not! I'm not asking you to be, I just want some hand cream!"

"Why?" Demands the CMO "You're a star ship Captain, what der yer need hand cream for?" For a moment the Physician looked stricken. "Look, I'm sorry I interrupted you last time with those Andorian twins...can't you just. I don't know...Use one of the ..." he trails off. Visibly embarrassed, Jim's mouth drops. Leonard McCoy, his CMO thought that he suffered from a case of Sexual frustration?

"Bones! HELL NO!" he all but yells, several of the nurses on duty looked his way. "No." He repeats quietly, "How can you think that!?" McCoy lets out a sigh of relief.

"Well, you have been eyeing up Spock a lot lately." He replies gruffly, suddenly developing an interest in his blank data PADD.

"Look Bones, I just want some hand cream, And NOT for those reasons!" he adds for emphasis.

The CMO of the federation star ship Enterprise scowls for a whole minute, in silence.

"Very well." he relents at last "Always wanted to get rid of that thing…" he mutters.

Jim watches in interest as his best friend walks in to his office, the doctor carefully moves the drawing of brightly coloured scribbles of what vaguely resembles stick men wearing a pink stethoscope In a frame. McCoy handles the picture with reverence. And it is the he realises that the taller man was meant to be a representation of his best friend. In his defence, there was a lopsided smile dawn on in red crayon. And the closes thing that McCoy had ever got top a smile is when Jim was cowering away, in fear, or suffering, from yet another God damn hypo.

Anyway, behind the frame, Jim is not surprised to see, was a cabinet containing Bone's private stash. He made a mental note of the location and the lock sequence for later.

He was surprised, to see however, behind the Alcohol, was another Stash.

What did the good doctor value more than Alcohol?

The answer as it turned out, was simple.

"Joanna sent it last time we had a supply restock" of course, families often sent off planet relations Terran delicacies, although delicacy was the wrong word for it. McCoy held a box in his hands, a box full of pink and girly bath products. Then selects the pink tube of hand cream and thrusts it at Jim. "Take it and Go." He orders.

"Why, thanks-"started Jim.

"No, really, go! Get out of my sick bay unless you want me to bring your Vaccinations Forward." McCoy watches in satisfaction as Jim pales. And squeaks. "Okay." The fleds.

"Oh, and Jim?" he calls.

"Yeah?" replies Jim

"Don't you tell a Fucking soul about this!"

Jim Smirks "Never" the doors swish close behind him, leaving his CMO with the beginnings of a headache.

Star date 2253.9

Time 14:46

Location: Bridge, Deck 24, USS Enterprise

The Vulcan mind was capable of many things, one of which was multiple tracks of thoughts at the same time. So, as First officer Spock was reviewing the Stat reports of his department, the other half of his mind wandered.

Wandered, wandered, wandered, wandered…..

To the bright figure sitting acutely behind him, or more accurately 2.345645m behind and 87.2456 degrees clockwise.

A figure of the name James Tiberius Kirk.

Hair of what humans might have likened to "Spun gold" eyes seven shades of blue, sapphire aquamarine cerulean orbs, a physique that was most aesthetically pleasing, an intellect and force that was-...Spock inhales sharply and tries to clear his thoughts.


It was going to be a long Alpha shift.

Earlier that shift...

Jim glanced down at the Pink hand cream tube. Perfectly average, a tapered end and a round screw cap of silver-ish plastic. Flipping it over, he scans the description at the back.



A fresh pink floral fragrance with fruity accents.

Directions for use: (honestly?)

Massage into hands and nails till fully absorbed. Please remove safety seal before use.


Heath and safety gone mad. He wondered what Spock, the old one would make of this.

Indeed, Jim imagined the old time traveler would raise his eyebrow in that scary way and simply say.

"Indeed, my friend" in a completely irrelevant and non – opinion way that gave you no indication of his true feelings. This is scary, if you really think about it.

I mean, even if a human grunts, they can still express emotion. You can have an indifferent grunt, an hurt grunt, an surprised grunt ,an annoyed grunt, an satisfied grunt,and so on…..

But Vulcans, well they had indifference and emotional non- covalence nailed down to an art.

Speaking of art, Jim flickered a look at his first officer, whose back was to the command chair, posture regulation perfect, so was his ass…..Any way! Jim jerked his thoughts out of those waters; he mentally blames it on Bones, for leading his mind astray.

It really was going to be a long Alpha Shift.

Star date 2253.9

Time 18:49 hrs

Location: Bridge, Deck 24, USS Enterprise

Not so long ago, the not so long ago being 36 hrs ago, Lieutenant Priana Patel announced her intention to get to hitched to the lovely Lieutenant Matt Laurence . So? What's the big deal? I hear you ask. Well, Lieutenant Patel being Indian, decided to go full out and break out the Tradition Indian rites.

This just so happens to include , sari's, curry, Over the top Celebrating, and the ancient of art of Henna, allowing one's hands to be covered in delicate patterns.

Jim, being the lucky Bastard that he was, was the sole witness of watching Spock being the first person to see Priana's hands.

Spock, normally so calm and ….reserved, turn a shade of bright emerald green, Spin on his feet and …..Leg it out of the party. Not to be seen till the next shift.

Jim has it on great authority that the privacy lock was engaged on his room for the next 14 hrs.

Now if that doesn't make him curious then the Universe would implode.

So he hatched his great plan.

The plans were this, Corner Spock and treat him to a hand massage! Using his amazing skills he picked up in his misbegotten past, Jim would literally squeeze the secret Vulcan feelings out of him. How could that possible go wrong? Jim Smiled to himself, pleased at his great plan. In fact, he would initiate Operation Hand Cream right after-

The Chronometer chimed the end of Alpha shift.

"Commander Spock!" calls Jim with unsuppressed enthusiasm. "Will you join me in My Quarters for a Game of Chess this evening?"

The whole bridge stilled.

"Of Course Captain" replies Spock. Jim could have sworn he saw a flash a pale green

"Excellent! 20'00 hrs. See you there," with a hum, he almost waltzes out of the bridge.

Today was a good day, and it was going to get better.

Oh, how right he was. He had No idea.

Star date 2253.9

Time 19:56 hrs

Location: Captain's Quarters, Deck 12, USS Enterprise

Jim hummed as he set up, turning the temperature up, tossing his uniform in favor of a black open neck dress shirt, and slacks. The chess was set out, but they wouldn't really need it, there were cushions and mats on the floor, Drinks in the kitchenette, nibbles laid out, he'd even borrowed a couple of Vulcan incense sticks from Urhura, all to make Spock loosen up and fess up.

Operation Handcream is go, go, Go!

In short, currently, Jim was a happy starship captain with a purpose. He would find out why Spock was so shocked after seeing Lieutenant Patel's hennaed hands and why the privacy lock was engaged for 14 hours. Spock wouldn't know what hit him.

Now that he has confirmations from Ambassador Spock that Yes, the Kirk Charm does work on Spock, and Vulcans do enjoy a good hand massage. The old man had looked rather sheepish at admitting this, but Jim was too busy planning his plan during that Vid-call to notice that telltale pale green blush….

Anyway! Everything will proceed according to plan, It just would.

The door chimed. Ahh, Spock, even if they shared bathrooms and he'd been given the code (more than once), he would still use the door bell. Hell, he should even have his own designated door bell by now. Now that would be a good Idea! Jim mentally add that to the to do list.

Spock waits patiently at the door; it was precisely 4.321 seconds till Jim opened the door, dressed in the classic terran shirt. A deep sea blue. It suited him well, the color brought out the deep blue and clarity of his eyes.

"Good Evening Captain." He says.

"Spock! Just on time" replay the man, beckoning him in.

"It is precisely 20'00s captain, there is another 37.458 seconds for me to meet you at our given rendezvous, Vulcans prize punctuality as well as logic."

The captain laughs, and entrancing sound like no other, Spock longed to run his hand through those silky strands of golden sunlight, to kiss each of those eyes, to just bask in the light and the warmth, and the glorious, glorious life-force that was James Tiberius Kirk.

"Have a seat." Says the captain." And the name is Jim" sill smiling "and we are not on an away mission, relax Spock! "

Spock wanted to retort that he had no idea of that difficulty. Still he lowers his shoulders a little. "As you wish." Pause. "Jim"

Jim watches Spock effortlessly slid down on the floor. "White or black?" Jim gave thanks to the universe for giving him such a Gorgeous First officer.

Jim sits, "Actually Spock, I had something else planned. We'll not be playing chess today."

"May I enquire to the nature of the alternative activity?" says the Vulcan in that impeccable sexy tone of his. Yum Yum.

"It's a Surprise." He replies. "Will that be okay?"

Spock regards him. "I trust you with my life Jim, it would be acceptable "

Jim Exhales, he had not wanted to hoodwink his first officer, however supportive had Ambassador Spock been. He would not disappoint.

"Would you like anything to drink?"

"I require no sustenance at this time" replies Spock.

"Okay…erm" Jim shuffles closer till he was sitting adjacent to Spock on the cushion. " Give me you hands." Pause "please." he adds.

Spock Froze.

Christ! Swore Jim mentally, did he say something wrong?

Then, without any trace of hesitation, Spock extends his hands. Jim Exhales in relief. Phew.

Right. Show time.

Jim had never been the hand type, although he knew several people that he suspected had some sort of hand fetish, not that they would ever admit it, looking at Spock's hand now he could sort of see why.

Spock's hands was beautiful, long slender fingers, but not girly, smooth, unblemished skin, perfectly and uniformly trimmed nails that bordered on symmetrical ( somehow, Jim had expected nothing less) which would have been creepy had it been on any either man.

On Spock? It was perfect.

Jim reaches for the hand cream.

Star date 2253.10

Time 11:40

Location: Medic Bay, Deck 11, USS Enterprise

Captain James Tiberius Kirk lumbered in to the medic bay, a 100 watt smile on his face, McCoy scowls immediately. What now?

"Bones!" says Jim in a sing song voice that bordered on euphoric, it was enough to make the good doctor sick. He eye rolls.

"Mornin' Jim," he says casually "come for your Vaccinations?" ha, he'll flee anytime now.

"Oh? " McCoy's jaw dropped. Jim didn't seem to notice. This was bad. "Was I supposed to?-"starts Jim

"Nurse Chapel! I need 60 ccs of an antihistamine, and call the surgery, we are going under full intensive-"

"Whoa Bones!? What is It.? Who's died now?" Jim didn't even protest as he was strapped to a Biobed. Bad, bad sign.

"- and inform Commander Spock that he is reliving the captain of Duty for the next 20 hrs as I place him under medical observation."

"Yes Sir!"cries the ever obedient Nurse Chapel

At 11.47, hrs, the ship's log notes that Dr McCoy ran an Intensive scan on patient Cpt. Kirk, Jams, T. which the results can be found on the patient's medical file. Restricted acess.

The sliding doors to sick bay was wrenched open before Doctor McCoy could do anything further than raise his giant hypo of some sort of antihistamine.

Obviously, a certain green blooded homogoblin deemed it too slow, not that Spock would admit it, and he'd probably call it "insufficient" or something.

"Doctor McCoy, what is Wrong with Jim?"

Bones didn't even notice the first name address. "Not Now Spock."

"Doctor , I demand to know what is wrong with My Bondmate." Insists Spock" as required and approved by Star fleets Family charter, Section C-"

Bones had frozen.

"-paragraph 14, line 12 under the jurisdiction of Medical confidences. " Spock completes " Doctor?"

Now Mama McCoy had raised her child to be the perfect southern Gentleman, and this included reading between the lines, so boy oh boy could Dr. McCoy read between the lines.

Like now.

Hand cream plus Vulcan plus Jim equals…

Happily married, apparently….

And speaking on the formation of Vulcan bonds…..

McCoy drops his hypo and palms his face.."oh, Jim" that brought to mind too many wrong things.

"Doctor? " ventures Spock " is there-"

"Why can't modern medicine Cure Stupidity? Take your goddamed bond mate and get the hell out of my sick bay, and no funny business yer hear me?!"

Spock spends a moment to defend his honour.

"Vulcans are incapable –"

McCoy pulls Jim from the bed and shoves him in his direction, wherein they promptly touched hands. Disgusing.

" I said NO funny Business! Get OUT!" he makes shooing motions with his hands .

Spock looks minutely puzzled, but leads Jim out anyway, at eh doors, jim suddenly remembered some thing.

"Bones! I just remembered. Thank you for the hand cream !" Jim mock whispers.

Gods above, he wasn't let this to be lived down. Commander Spock turns an interesting shade of Green.

His epitaph is going to be so Wrong

Here Lies Doctor Leonard McCoy,

Beloved Father of Joanna,

CMO of the Uss Enterprise

Bringer of hand cream and our beloved Bones-

Wait! Not finished! Fairy godmother to-

James T. Kirk (cos I am awesome like that)

And Acquaintance of Sch'n Tgai Spock of Vulcan.

Rest in peace.

He needed a drink.

Star date 2253.10

Time 21:20

Location: CMO's Office, Medic Bay, Deck 11, USS Enterprise

Doctor Leonard McCoy , CMO of the Uss Enterprise nursed his shot of whisky in silence, staring at his personal secret alcohol stash in peace. This continues for well over half an hour before the glass was empty.

Finally, the man gets up, cleans the glass and replaced the decanter of fine liquor.

Unbidden, he opens the secondary stash.

The box of Pink bath products assaulted his vision, pink and hearts everywhere. The four holders was full except one, where a long, slim rectangle once held the hand cream.

Sadly, there was still a tube of shower gel, perfume and….Shimmery Body cream left.

All containers that Bones was not planning to touch in the near future if he could help it.

With a Scowl, he slammed the doors shut.

Maybe He'll just give the rest of the Damn thing to Christine in the morning.



If anyone feels like writing the missing slash scene, let me know, and how was it? The bath product thing is actually real, it's called, the JUST PINK collection from next. I've used up the shower gel , perfume and half of the hand cream, but haven't mustered the courage to use the shimmery body cream yet. This fic was a random thought. Because I liked reading fics and since the hand cream was next to the computer anyway….If any one has any suggestions on what to do with the perfume , shower gel and shimmery body cream, let me know.

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