Hey guys! Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Wow, two posts in three days? The Mayans were right... The really scary thing is that the story was in the server and ready to go by yesterday afternoon, but thanks to the joys of AP classes and other homework I just never got around to pulishing it. Belive me, I really am scared for the world now. Ok, enough time spent contemplating the legitimacy of ever-looming ancient doomsday prophecies. Chapter 2 everybody!


I was frozen in shock. Courtney wanted me to do what? Go out with her? Geez, and I thought she hated me.

"Well…" she said impatiently. "I'm waiting."

"I… I don't… think I can do this." I stumbled over my words. "I'm still with Gwen… I can't just… leave her like that."

"Then I hope you find yourself a good lawyer, because I won't commit unless you do."

Damn. She wasn't backing down from this one. Believe me, I wanted to tell her to stick it and just hang up more than anything else, but what other choice did I have? It was either commit to Courtney for the time being or lose Gwen forever. As much as the first choice sucked, I doubt I would've been able to live with the second one.

"All right. I'll do it." I could all but see her celebrating from the other end. "What are the groundrules?"

"Did you keep your copy of the relationship contract?"

You've gotta be fucking kidding me. We're back on that? I burned my last copy, for crying out loud!

"No, I didn't." I replied, summoning all my willpower not to scream at her."

"Hmph. Typical." Courtney pouted. " I guess we'll have to start from square one again I'll be back tomorrow with your bail, and from there we'll work out the groundrules in our relationship. Goodnight, Dunkie!"

Great, she's back on that, too? I didn't know if she was being serious or if she was just trying to torture me. Honestly, I hoped it was the second one. At least then she'd be doing all this in a legitimate effort to punish me, not for some delusional fantasy that I'd fall for her again. I went that route once. Worse than torture.

"Mr. Matthews," the officer called out. "Your one phone call has been made, you will now be taken to your cell."

I put up my hands and let him cuff me once again. He wasn't rough on me, remember he was the once that actually seemed like a decent guy, but at the same time his grip made it clear that he wasn't fooling around. I don't think I'd have such a problem with the cops if they were all like this guy. Yeah, he was tough, and he made sure you knew it, but not abusive like some of the other ones were. Kicking a guy when he's down doesn't prove anything, other than the fact you're a jackass. If you abuse your power, that doesn't make you powerful at all. It just shows you're weak. It shows you're nothing without that power.

Once in my cell, I was uncuffed and showed inside. For a jail cell, it actually wasn't half bad. It wasn't cramped like most cells, the beds were actually tolerable, and the plumbing appeared to work for the most part. My cellmate was ok. He seemed to have a vendetta against everyone but me, so he left me alone for the night. The shouting matches through the wall were kind of (majorly) annoying, but again, at least it wasn't me. I counted at least three or four fight being tenatively scheduled for the next day, so I think I lucked out. One more night, I bet I'd have been on his bad side. The scary thing is, I can tell you from experience, you can be roomed with far worse.

I doubt you'd be able to guess this, but I didn't get much sleep that night, and Courtney decided it would be simply perfect to show up at 6 AM to bail me out. And of course, she's sipping her latte like it's nobody's business. I swear one of these days…

The cop released me from my cell and took me into a waiting room. Courtney filled out some paperwork, and next thing you know, I was a free man. Once Courtney was done, she turned to me.

"So, how was your night?"

Scratch that. How about right now?

I'd have to say the car ride back was worse than the stay in prison. (Messed up as it sounds, it was pretty interesting to gage up the potential fights going on. My cellmate seemed pretty tough, but my guess is that the dude in cell 6 would beat him. The dude ran an underground fighting ring... enough said.) Most of the ride was spent hearing Courtney bitch about the traffic and how horrible the other drivers were. I'm pretty sure she threatened to sue some of them for I don't even know what the hell the charge would be. At one point I think I mentioned that the cops would just pull them over if they were that bad, but then she went on about how they were all "incompetent" and "corrupt" and "spent all their time eating donuts." Oh, the irony.

After an eternity, we finally reached her apartment. I had to admit, it was a nice place. If anything, shed done well for herself. It was on the penthouse floor, it was pretty big in size, and I am sure she hired an interior decorator or something because it was really well furnished. (Dear God, what the fuck am I saying?)

"Ok, let's get down to business." she said as we both sat down. "I've been looking over your cases, and I'm fairly certain you can avoid jail time if we play our cards right."

"All right! That sounds awesome!" I exclaimed, nearly jumping out of my seat.

"Don't get too excited, these are still very tough cases, something a Neanderthal like you wouldn't be able to understand."

Yet another thing she's back on. Just like the good ol' days, no?

"You have a total of eight charges against you overall. You have three counts of vandalism, and two for assault. The owners of each of these have dropped the charges for cash settlements, and your speed chase last night should just be some community service and another fine. Your two main charges are breaking out of the detention center and your false blood fiasco with those kindergartners.

"Ok, to be fair, that was an awesome prank!"

"You gave them seizures, Duncan! They almost died! For that stupid prank alone, you are being faced with of assault and battery, endangerment of minors, as well as additional counts of vandalism, trespassing and other misdemeanors! We're talking potentially 20 years of prison, Duncan! All because of your stupid little prank!"

Ok, that shut me up. This was getting serious. Courtney just gave me a glare before continuing.

"The other charge is pretty straightforward. You broke out of your detention center. This one will be tough to work around, but I think I can use some clauses in the Total Drama contract to get around it."

I decided to mess with her. "Oh yeah, how you gonna do that?"

I could literally see her blood boil. "How am I gonna do that? Are you for real? After everything you did to me, I'm working my butt off just to save your lazy ass from going to prison, and you're questioning my methods of doing so? Well, if you must know, the Total Drama contract states that because of the challenges we had to perform, we the contestants were not nor would ever be held liable for any laws we broke over the course of he show. Since your audition tape was, in fact, breaking out of juvenile hall and they did decide to air it on the show, we can use that "over the duration of the show" clause so you won't be held liable."

She took a deep breath after that rant before she smirked at me in triumph. "I know, I'm good, aren't I?"

I chose to ignore that last statement. "So, what about the other one?"

"I'm still working on it. Luckily, your escape trial will be held first, so we have some time on our hands."

I nodded my head but didn't say anything. This whole thins was still surreal to me. All my past mistakes of my criminal life… caught up to me just like that. I'll admit I'm no saint, but I thought that was all behind me. I'd moved on with my life. (And I know what you're thinking, yeah, I still get into fights, but as long as you win, you own the dude. You make sure he doesn't snitch. As you can guess, I don't lose very often.)

"Now we have another matter to settle." Courtney broke the silence. "Our relationship contract."

I deadpanned. "You weren't kidding."

"I never kid!" she snapped. "This is serious!"

"Whatever you say, Princess." Hey, as long as she's making me do this, might as well truly make it like old times.

"That violates page 12 section 21 of our contract! No pet names!"

She saw my smirk and tried to recompose herself. Seriously? Swallow some pride for once, you're not fooling anyone with that bull.

"Anyway," she continued through gritted teeth. "Being the nice person I am, I took the liberty of making this contract new and improved. Since we've been separated for four years, there are several new circumstances and scenarios that the old contract couldn't cover, so I inserted some new clauses addressing those. I'd suggest reading it from cover to cover. From what you've displayed, you seem to have forgotten several of the old policies as well."

I just stared at the stack of papers in front of me. New and improved? I couldn't tolerate the last one! What else could she have possibly thought of?

"Oh, and one more thing," she added as she stood up." Your first trial begins tomorrow, so I'd suggest you start reading now. I'll give you a pass today, getting out of prison and all, but infractions will be enforced starting tomorrow, so get busy!"

I was beginning to reconsider the whole prison option.


Yeah, more D/C. Bear with me. Or celebrate. Whichever side you're affiliated with. Anyway, there's gonna be a lot of court cases, legal talk, etc. going on here, and I do have a basic knowledge of our court system and legal practices (you know, being the sue happy nation we are, cases like Casey Anthony blowing up every year) but if I'm wrong on anything, then feel free to correct me. I want this to be as accurate as possible. As always, suggestions are always welcomed, and please review!