A/N: I know Abandon All Hope was long before Dark Side of the Moon, but I need you to pretend it was only a couple of weeks before just for the sake of the storyline. Thank you! And I know Dean seems kinds of OOC in this, but he gets better in part two. And don't forget that REVIEWS keep me going. The more reviews the sooner the second and final part comes out!
One Seriously Messed Up Love Story Pt. 1
I'm still Me, Can't you See?
"Mom you can't die!" My fourteen year old self screams as my mother bleeds out on the floor of our once fairytale home.
"Genny, remember what I have taught you," she smiles her beautiful smile before the light fades from her eyes, and from my heart.
John looks up at me as he lies dying on the hospital floor. "John, you got to stay with me. Please!" I beg tears running down my face.
"Genesis," he starts coughing up blood as he goes. I try to stop him, but he continues. "Things are not as y-you've been t-t-t-told."
"You're different," Dean says taking a step closer to me, tilting my chin up so he could see clearly into my hazel eyes. "There's something about you…" he trails off.
This is a reality I have come to know too well. I am different, but I am familiar in the same way. I'm not just a witch. I'm not just a hunter. What am I? "Does that change how you see me?" I ask worried.
A handsome smile and warm breath across my lips cause a shiver to run down my spine. "Never."
"I'm-I'm-I'm…what?!" I scream in Castiel's face. Right now we're standing outside Bobby's home because Cas requested to see me alone.
He sighs, and looks up at me with almost sympathetic eyes. "You're half-angel, half-witch. Your father was an archangel," he explains slowly. My eyes look at the ground darting back in forth. 'Oh, no.'
"Hi, Castiel!" the trickster says looking at Cas. Quickly he looks at him and then he looks at me and nods.
"Gabriel, okay? They call me Gabriel," the trickster says.
"Gabriel…the archangel?" Sam questions.
'What? Wait, Cas…were you trying to say…?'
"You don't have to fight this war," Lucifer says.
I sigh and look back at him, "I appreciate the sentiment, but I do."
"I love Gabriel…I don't want to kill you."
"You don't have to protect them. They don't deserve your loyalties."
"No, I don't deserve theirs."
"Yeah. Then why haven't you told them about your father?"
Slowly, ever so slowly, I come out of the haze that was once sleep. Struggling to wake up, a smell invades my nostrils. This smell is oh, so familiar, so comforting. Old leather. My hazel eyes finally open and I move my long, dark brown hair out of my face so I can examine my surroundings. Bobby's couch I think, my mind still slightly in the fog. Wait? Old leather? I look down fast and once covering my bare shoulders, was Dean's jacket.
I smile and begin to finger the worn material, the material I have held in my hands so many times. "Finally awake, huh?" a strong, low voice sounds from behind me. I whip around to see the before mentioned man, leaning on the wall between the living room and the kitchen, smirking.
"Yeah, I'm up," I say cracking my back and neck trying to get the small aches out. I smile at my boyfriend of two years. "You could have waken me up you know."
He scoffs and comes over to sit next to me on the couch, handing me a cup of coffee. Okay, he is way too good for me. "I tried, you bit me," he says cocking his head at me.
"I did n-Oh my God I did bite you," I say amazed as he shows me his hand with the mark on it. "Oops."
He opens a beer which I quickly grab from him. He has been drinking far too much lately, and that is just not going to fly by me. Dean rolls his beautiful green eyes before leaning back into the couch and stares at me intensely. "It's my own fault. I should have forced you to get some sleep a long time ago," he says shrugging.
"We don't exactly have time for sleep," I remind him in a sad voice. This apocalypse has taken a lot out of us. Made us into people we never thought. The only good thing? It's the reason we finally told each other that we love each other.
Dean lets his hand move from the back of the couch to reach up and trace my – mostly – bare shoulder. I close my eyes and lean my head further into my hands as my elbows rest on my knees. Eventually he slowly drags me back into his warm, muscular body, bringing some relief to my constantly stressed mind and body.
I allow him to trace his calloused fingers over my shoulder for a couple minutes. Giving us our moment of peace, one we have more than earned. However, I know we have to get moving. We have a job today. I sigh and force myself to ask, "Where's Sammy?"
"Last minute research," he says tiredly. I don't care what anyone says – that includes all of you people too – this fight has hurt him the most. Hit him the hardest.
Nodding, I push myself off the couch and grab the black and green duffel next to it. "Alright, I'll go get changed than we should leave. It's going to take forever as it is," I tell him.
"Okay. Hey have you seen Cas anywhere lately?" he asks out of nowhere. I raise my eyebrow at him. "I figured he'd want to be in on this one, but he's been acting strange."
"What do you mean?" I ask quickly, a little too quickly.
Dean catches this, but decides not to say anything. "Ever since that fight with Lucifer, he seems on edge. I don't mean understandably either. Especially around you, he gets fidgety. Haven't you noticed?" he asked stepping toward me.
My eyes flicker down, "Um, kinda. Honestly, this was the first time he'd seen his big brother in a long time. Not the best circumstances, either. I don't know about the around me part though. Sorry I haven't been paying a lot of attention."
"…Are you okay, Gen?" he asks cupping my cheek in his large hand.
I smile up at him and say, "Perfect."
Dean smiles and leans down, catching my lips in a longing kiss. I move my body so it is perfectly formed with his, and trace my arms up his chiseled chest. His hands move around to cup the back of my neck, bringing me in deeper, harder. I moan into his mouth, electric sparks going off all over my body. Right as his tongue traces my bottom lip, I pull away. Dean looks at me, and moves to lean back in but I duck around him. I grab my duffel and run half way up the stairs. Turning around I stick my tongue out at him, and he chucks a pillow at me.
Laughing I make my way to the bathroom at the end of the hall. The second the lock clicks, the smile leaves my face and guilt replaces it. I know I'm a liar, okay? Of course, I'm not perfect. Things suck, and I can't even talk to Dean – the man I would take a bullet for, the man I'd go to Hell for – because I can only imagine what he'd say. I splash some water on my face and look at myself in the mirror. Why him? Why them?
You're confused aren't you? Sorry about that. It's been a hectic couple of years, so give me some leeway. Alright, here's how the story goes. My name is Genesis Cross. Don't even say it; believe me the irony has been brought to my attention many times. Let's just say that Mama had a strange sense of humor. Some of you can relate I'm sure. I just turn 27 years old a month ago. I am about 5'9" with the athletic build that most hunters have. Now to the interesting stuff.
Arianna, my mother, was a witch. Yes, was. She was murdered in our home when I was fourteen years old. She had taught me everything about witchcraft and hunting. I'm one of the best. My powers are incredibly advanced, and until recently it was almost eerie. Now I understand. I'm one of the potion making charmed girls with a touch of Sabrina. That's my powers. I don't tend to use them, I would much rather rely on my knives and strength than powers and guns any day.
After Arianna – yes, I call her by her first name – I went to find an old friend of hers, John Winchester. Bobby and he took me in, treated me as one of their own. Over the years I became good friends with the boys. Sam is like my little brother. Dean, well…you hopefully understand that one, if not…just-just leave.
When the whole 66 seals thing started, Dean and I got closer. Sam was spending most of his time with…her. It made sense. Next thing I know we're finally together. I'm not going to say it was all sparkle and fairytale because it wasn't. It just happened, and honestly I'm fine with that. I love him, he loves me. Who really need anymore?
Well as Robert Frost said: nothing gold can stay, right? Not too long before Lucifer was released, Castiel told me about my father. Wasn't that just a fun day? I had just found out that Cas was actually Uncle Cas, and Lucifer was Uncle Luci! Isn't that so cool!? …No. It wasn't until Changing Channels that I found out my father's true identity. Gabriel. The Trickster.
Are you starting to see the problem here? I'm a witch, dating Dean Winchester, and am the daughter of the creature he despises most. An angel. The reason I'm powerful, the reason I'm so useful to this war, and the reason I'm lying to my boyfriend. If you haven't figured it out, Dean doesn't know! Why? Did you seriously just ask me why? Wow. How much attention have you been paying to this war? Not enough. Dean hates angels, he really hates Gabriel. I don't want to know how he would respond to discovering I'm his daughter, and I have no intention of finding out.
Call me what you want, but I do care about Dean. I don't want to lose him. I know that makes me selfish…I just don't care. Humans are by nature selfish. That's what makes us human. I'd much rather know that side of me than the evil side. I don't believe all angels are evil, I don't even believe Gabriel is. That doesn't mean that I couldn't be.
Hopefully, that's enough information for now. Quickly I throw on my green tank top, black skinny jeans, gray leather boots, black leather jacket, .50 caliber double action desert eagle on my hip, and my two angel blades in my boots. The last piece I put on with care is my witch's ruins necklace that Dean gave me for my birthday a month ago. It means more to me than my life. That's just the effect that boy has on me.
Throwing my hair up in a pony tail and touching up my eye liner, I throw all my stuff into the duffel and head downstairs. Sam and Dean were waiting by the door. I smile at my boys and grab my coffee off the table before heading out the door with them. Time to stop the Apocalypse!
After travelling eight hours to our hotel, we decided to crash for the night. Sam in one bed, Dean and I in the other. Don't even think anything dirty. We were far too tired for that. I feel Dean's tight hold on my waist as I try to rouse myself from sleep. Soon we'd have to face the dying world. I just want to enjoy this one simple pleasure I have before I have to watch this war take more and more from the people I love.
I'm about to allow myself to fall back asleep when I hear a click. Jerking up I have no chance to yell or even use my powers. Loud cracks fill the room and my body jerks back on impact, blood seeping into the covers.
"Dean, where the hell are you taking me?" I ask, struggling as my boyfriend drags me through the forest being completely secretive and uncooperative.
I hear him sigh, "Come on, Genny. Just go with it!"
"Go with it? Really? Dean, we're fighting a war with Heaven and Hell…one we have almost no chance of winning and you want to take time off for a hike? Are you high?" I continue struggling trying to get him to let go and come to his senses.
He just ignores me and continues forcing me over fallen branches and under the ones still attached. Eventually, he stops. "Finally," I mutter not liking being out of control. Dean just smiles and puts his hand on the small of my back leading me forward again. 'Damn you,' I think. 'I swear if you weren't as hot as you are I could just—"
My train of thought is cut short as we emerge through the trees. 'Oh my God,' I think as I gaze at the sight before me. A crystalline waterfall flows from the top of a cliff down to a small lake, surrounded by the greenest grass and trees that I have ever seen. The sky is a pale blue, sun slightly hidden by thin clouds. All around things seem to be so alive, almost as if this one area has not been touched by any of the plagues of the outside world.
Hazel eyes widen as my hand goes gently over my mouth. I turn around and look at Dean who was leaning against a tree with a smirk. "You like?" he asks, moving forward to put his delicious arms around my waist.
"It's amazing!" I exclaim, tearing up slightly. I put my hands on the back of his neck and rest my head gently on his chest. 'This man, I swear…'
I feel his head lean on mine. "Even though we're not focused on fighting a war?" he questions innocently.
"Shut up," I whisper looking up at him. "…Thank you."
"As cheesy as it sounds…I would literally do anything for you. I just…want you to know that…no matter what…I'll be here," he says kind of flustered, turning his head away from me. What can I say? Neither of us are exactly hopeless romantics.
I raise my hand and rest it on one of the now red stained cheeks. "That goes both ways," I remind him tenderly.
Dean slowly turns his head back to me. His eyes meet mine for a brief second before they fall down to my lips. One of his hands gradually – almost painfully – inch its way up my back and knots itself in my hair. I close my eyes and wait for the bliss that always comes with being near him, only wishing I could believe that no matter what…he'd be there.
A couple minutes? Hours? Days? Later in Heaven…
God, my head hurts I think to myself as I reach my hands up to rub my temples. Forcing my body up from the bed, I look around the hotel room. Where's Dean…holy hell this is not the hotel I fell asleep in. Frantically I look all around the room. This place seems really familiar, though. What the hell happened?
Suddenly the door opens and I jump off the bed in crouching position, hand on my gun. "Woah, cool it there Cross, it's just me," a tired Dean walks in the room to the fridge.
"Since when do you call me, Cross?" I ask as he takes a swig of beer. Really? Are you serious? "What have I told you about the beer? …I swear drunks drink less than you."
Dean looks around the room and slowly turns his head back to me, cocking his eyebrow. "Uhh, I call you that all the time, and you've never said anything about beer except if I drink yours you'll cut my fingers off and stuff them in my mouth Native American style," he reminds me as he collapses into a chair.
This has happened before. I've had a conversation like this with him before. This is the exact conversation we had the night we got toget…oh, hell I'm back in Heaven aren't I? I suddenly realize thinking back to last time. Yes, I remember. I am half-angel that does come with some…perks? Can you really call them that? Well, whatever they're called I get those.
Suddenly the past Dean freezes and a voice comes out of the television, scaring the ever-loving crap out of me. "Genesis," Castiel says through the television.
"Ahh!" I scream falling on my butt. I look up and see a fuzzy Cas staring back at me. Pointing at the screen I open and close my mouth in an attempt to talk. The only I succeed in doing is looking like a dying fish. Nice comparison, right?
"I see you've realized where you are. Before you ask, I just talked to Dean. He's on his way to find Sam and you."
"How?" I ask. "It's not like Heaven can be easy to navigate through…especially if Zachariah and his douche friends are here, too. I have a feeling they aren't just going to let us leave."
"No, they won't, but you can find the Winchester's fairly simply. I have directed Dean to take you and Sam to Heaven's Garden, to talk to the prophet, Joshua."
"Why?" I ask knowing I probably am not going to like the answer.
"He's had communication with Father." I like being right. "Each person has their own 'path' that gets them there. Dean's, Sam's, and Yours is a road. Follow the road outside the motel, and you'll find Sam and Dean."
I nod and am about to leave the room – almost reluctantly – when Cas says, "Genesis. Be mindful of Zachariah. His position in Heaven has been threatened by you, and he will give away any secret to get the better of you."
"I know, Castiel. Thank you, for everything. I promise I will find out whatever I can about your father. Think of it as…returning the favor," I tell him before disappearing from the room.
Looking down the long, winding pavement, my mind begins to turn. A gnawing feeling in my gut tells me that nothing good will come of this venture. You'd think by now that I'd have nothing left to lose to these guys. Whether you like it or not…you are so wrong. I still have everything to lose.
A couple of hours and painful memories later…
"You son of a bitch," Sam starts to go after Zachariah, but a flutter later and all of us are being held back by three steroid enhanced angels. Bastard first uses their mom and now we're going to be forced to listen to him talk…great.
Zachariah just keeps talking like nothing happened. "You know I could say the same thing about you Sam, but I have actually grown…" he looks at 'Mary.' "…Fond of your mother."
A low growl is heard to my right, and I look over to see Dean staring murderously at Zachariah or should I say Uncle Zachariah? *shudder* No…n-never again. I stare at Dean until he feels someone's eyes on him and he turns to look at me. He reads the look in my eyes clearly, and mouths 'I love you.'
'I love you, too.'
"Or," Zachariah continues. "At least the blessed memory of her." He leans down and k-kisses Mary's neck. Cue the uncontrollable gagging. Dean and Sam both close their eyes and turn their heads. Poor boys…
"Ew, ew, old people, ew!" I exclaim grossed out, trying to get him to stop torturing my little brother and my boyfriend. That and it really is disgusting. Sam and Dean turn and look at me with a look that can only be described as, 'really?'
Zachariah slowly raises his head and smirks at me, "It's too bad you feel that way, Genesis, because we're going to be logging a lot of quality time together. I've discovered she's quite the…MILF."
Oh, gross! I discreetly look at the boys and all I see is pain and disgust on their faces. I mean this is the mom they never really got to have, and Zachariah is turning her into a porn star. Dean looks up about to say something, but I quickly intervene. I don't want him to piss off Zachariah. If anyone is going to suffer his wrath, it will be me. Maybe being f-…f-…family will mean something? Yeah, I don't think so either.
"Gloat all you want you dick. You're still bald."
"In Heaven I have six wings and four faces one of which is a lion," he responds with pride. Why would you be proud of that? That's just creepy! "The only reason you two" points to Sam and Dean while running a finger down Mary's arm while motioning to his body "see this is because you're limited. You see this because you're pathetic." He finishes cheerfully looking at me.
Finally, he looks at the two boys and then their mother before snapping his fingers sending her away to God only knows where. "Let's price tag this shall we?" he asks stepping forward.
"What are you going to ball gag us until we say yes, huh? Yeah, I've heard that, too," Dean says. Damnit you moron!
Zachariah punches him in the stomach, hard. I struggle against one of the angels holding me attempting to get to Dean…or Zachariah…frankly either will work. "I'm going to do a lot more than that. I've cleared my schedule, get him up," Zachariah commands as Dean's handler yanks him up, and the Ghost of Christmas Screw You (read Shadow Soldier) punches him again gets in his face. I can feel my body grow warm and I look down at my feet closing my eyes, trying to control myself.
"Let me tell you something. I was on the fast track, once. Employee of the month, every month, forever. I'd walk these walls and people would AVERT THEIR EYES. I HAD RESPECT!" he yells at all of us.
I'm still looking down. I know my eyes have begun to glow. I grit my teeth willing myself not to lose it.
Zachariah continues his tirade, "And then they assigned me you. Now look at me. I can't close the deal on a couple of flannel wearing maggots, and a mutt? Everybody's laughing at me…and they're right to do it."
My body is now shaking uncontrollably. Dean is looking at me, trying to get my attention, but if I see his face…I'm going to explode. This man…this thing pisses me off to the ends of the earth. He has the nerve to hurt them? To disgrace them? No…he has no right –
"So say yes, don't say yes I'm still going to take it out on your asses. It's personal now, boys. And the last person in the history of creation you want as you're enemy is me, and I'll tell you why. Lucifer, he may be strong, but I'm…petty," he finishes with a smirk. Something inside me snaps, and I stand up straight with my head still down.
"Yeah?" I ask slowly looking up, letting Zachariah see my gold, glowing eyes. "Well, I'm a bitch."
Quickly I break out of the angel's hold and put my hand to his headd, incinerating him. The other two don't move as I grab my angel blade from my boot. It begins to glow with my power as I push Zachariah into the wall, the blade at his throat.
"You think I'm just going to stand by and let you threaten them? Let you talk down to them? Torture them?! You've got another thing coming you asshole," I say lowly, looking down menacingly at Zachariah's shocked form.
"Gen…" Dean trails off shocked at my declaration and sudden burst of power.
Zachariah tsks before smiling, "Now, now dear Genesis don't be so hasty. After all you wouldn't want to injure…family…would you?"
My eyes widen at what he said, but I refrain from looking back at the boys. I'm keeping my eye on the prize here. There will be plenty of time for heartbreak after. "What the hell are you talking about you dick? Genesis…what does he mean?!" Dean's voice is panicked and I can hear that the angel holding him is having issues.
"They don't know?" Zachariah said in honest surprise. I suppose he figured I would have told them. Or he's really good at faking…could be either.
"I've seen the damage an angel blade can do. I'm not interested in being on the receiving end of one," I tell him like 'how did you not figure that out.'
He smiles at me, "You think they'd kill you if they knew?"
I don't even hesitate and let my eyes quickly flicker toward Dean, "I know they would. They'd have every reason…every right to."
"What are you saying? Gen what does he mean family? How could you think I could kill you?" Dean's voice is angry and strained. The glow in my eyes fades as I push my tears down. Gotta keep it together for just a little longer…
"Well if you wouldn't mind," Zachariah starts. "I think I'll break the news to them."
"The hell-" I was cut off. Zachariah grabs my arm and throws me across the room. I slam hard into the wall, slowly sliding down gripping my arm in pain. It isn't broken…just stings.
Zachariah circles the Winchesters, "You see, your little witch friend isn't just a witch. In fact she's only half! Her father was a bit more…powerful. Definitely stupid to have gotten with Arianna Cross to begin with, but oh well I suppose."
"Shut up, Zachariah," I warn to no affect.
"Gabriel is her father. She's half angel. Oh, now don't look so betrayed boys, she only found out from Castiel last year," he exclaims, far too happy.
I can't see Dean's face, but by the way he's shaking I probably don't want to. "Who cares? She's still our friend. Right, Dean?" Sam asks his brother obviously understanding what it's like to be judged for a stupid mistake. Thank you little bro, but Dean isn't going to agree with you.
As I guessed, Dean doesn't say anything. I let one small crystal tear escape my hazel eyes. Though I knew it wasn't true, a part of me truly believed that he would stay by my side. No matter what.
"What is this? Seems you were right, Genny! You're boytoy really does hate you now!"
"You bastard!" I scream charging at him without thinking. Yeah, stupid I know, I know.
I go to stab him with my blade which is still clenched in my hand. However, due to the lack of thought that went into this move, Zachariah easily grabbed my arm and twisted it around my back forcing me to look at him.
"Oh, poor little Genesis. Looks like you've really lost it all now haven't you? How does it feel you little bitch? No. You know what? I don't care. I'm just going to kill you now and then torture you're…former friends," he smiles maliciously at me and moves to grab the knife from my hand.
"Excuse me, sir?" a foreign voice sounds from the kitchen area of this room. Zachariah looks up and taking that as my cue I free my arm and jump back.
Looking up I see an aging black man with a kind face, and a soft voice. "I'm in a meeting," Zachariah states rudely. Nobody cares I think back sarcastically. I purposely avoid looking at Dean. If we're going to have this conversation, I'm dealing with all the emotional turmoil that comes with it at one time.
"I'm sorry. I need to speak with those three," he says pointing at me and the boys.
Zachariah looks at us then walks toward the unknown man, "Excuse me?"
"It's a bad time, I know, but I'm afraid I have to insist."
The Ghost of Christmas Screw You looks down like he's shocked by what the man said, "You don't get to insist jack squat."
"No, you're right," the man starts. Cue my intense confusion. "But the boss does. His orders."
"You're lying," Zachariah says…well…hopes?
The man almost laughs, "Wouldn't lie about this. Look, fire me if you want. Sooner or later he's going to come back home, and if he comes back and sees what you've done…especially if he finds you were going to kill his only grandchild," he gestures to me. "Well, you know how he is with that whole wrath thing."
"Bet you I'm worse," I say menacingly looking at Zachariah who almost shirks away. He looks back at his friends and the boys. Stupidly, I allow myself to do the same. Dean's eyes are shining with unshed tears and bitter hate…a look I hoped he would never turn on me.
Finally I hear a flutter, and the dicks with wings disappear, leaving Sam and Dean free. I'll get back to you on whether that's good or bad. Next thing I know we're in the garden that Cas mentioned ready to find out about God's "plan."
Back to Earth…
We all jerk up breathing heavily. Can't they ever make the trip easy? I ask myself bitterly, rubbing my temples. "Everyone okay?" Sam asks, also rubbing his head.
I'm about to respond when Dean gets up off the bed, grabs his jacket, and stalks out the door – slamming it behind him. I sigh and look at my hands for a second before slipping on my boots and jacket. "Guess I couldn't hope for too much, huh?" I ask Sam sadly.
Sam stands up and hugs me tightly, "Talk to him." I put a smile on my face, but I know it doesn't reach my eyes. My 'brother' nudges me toward the door. I stumble and glare at him before turning. One huge breath and I'm outside.
Dean is leaning against the front of the Impala, breathing heavy, trying to calm himself when he hears the door shut. Looking up I flinch under his hard gaze, Dean doesn't say anything…just glares. After a while I grow tired of the silence. I need some sort of communication with him – really I just need him. I walk a few steps forward reaching for him, "Dean-"
"Don't," his deep voice commands firmly. I stop my movements and let my arm drop to my side. After a few seconds I hear him whisper under his breath, "I can't believe this."
"What?" I ask bitterly. "That I'm the daughter of an angel? Well I'm sorry, Dean, but it's not like that was my choice."
He matches my bitter tone, "Doesn't change the fact that you're one of them. Those things that are trying to kill my brother…posses me! Destroy the world!"
"Yeah, I'm kind of aware of that you ass!" I scream at him. "There's nothing I can do about that. You think I want to be one of them? You think I like having that piece inside me? I don't. But I'm not ashamed, either. Honestly, I don't see why I should be."
Dean stares at me in angry shock, like he can't believe what I just said. "How can you say that?"
"Why shouldn't I? Dean, not all of them are horrible. What about Cas, huh? Is he such a bad person? Or my dad? He was a dick, I know that, but he loves his family," I remind him.
He doesn't say anything just looks off to his right, holding on to his anger with an iron fist. "You once said that you knew I was different," I whisper causing him to look back at me. "You said it wouldn't change anything. You said you'd always be there." I choke out tears welling up in my eyes.
"I didn't know I was sleeping with the enemy at the time," he throws at me, venom staining his hateful words.
"That shouldn't matter! I'm still me! Nothing has changed except the fact that you know who my father is. I'm the same person I was yesterday. The person you said you loved. Why does knowing something that happened twenty-seven years ago – something I couldn't control – bother you so much?" I plead with him to give me an answer as I step closer to him. He averts his gaze. I place my hand on his arm. "Baby, please."
Suddenly he grabs my wrist and throws me to the ground with enough force to send me sliding a few feet. He stomps over to where I land and picks me up by the collar of my jacket. "You and your father ruined my life. I hate you, you stupid bitch. I never should have told you I loved you, and I will spend the rest of my life regretting that I did. You're a monster. If you had even an eighth of hunter in you, you would have let Zachariah stab you in your damned grace!" He spits with more hatred than I have ever heard. His eyes looked like they were on fire.
A gasp from the door causes him to look up; all I can do is stare at him through blurry eyes. Dean looks back down at me and slams me back to the ground. He stands up and begins to walk away, but he stops and looks back at me as I attempt to push my weak body up from the ground, "I don't ever want to see your ugly face again. Go rot in Hell with the rest of your monstrous family, but don't come back."
I gasp at his words, but he doesn't care. He doesn't care that he has completely taken away all I have left. He doesn't care that he's just broken my already fragile heart. Doesn't care that I'm still the same person. However, what hurts the most is I know he no longer cares that I still love him. That I'd still go to Hell for him. That I'd take a bullet for him…
Finally, the tears win and I let my body fall back to the ground. I begin sobbing violently, painful shudders course through my veins. My hands are literally scratching at my chest, trying to get the sharp pains to stop. Please…Dad…God…make it stop!
Suddenly I feel a hand on my shoulder. My head slowly moves back and I see Sam staring at me with sad eyes…eyes that look so much like his brothers. This thought causes another cruel pain. I can't escape it. The pain has already enveloped my entire being. My physical and emotional self. Dean…why? You promised me, damn you! I scream in my head, the tears and sobs still coming strong.
Sam wraps me up in his arms and gently strokes my hair and back, whispering soothing words in my ear. Between all the painful thoughts, I thank him, but I can't help but think that this was supposed to be someone else's job. Someone with those exact same eyes…
End of Part 1