In the crowd alone
And every second passing reminds me I'm not whole
Bright lights and city sounds are ringing like a drone
The sound of heels clicking as I walked echoed throughout the empty hallway. They wanted me for another interview or something. Apparently the first interview where I shattered their plan to bomb 13 wasn't enough.
My prep team had to come get me before the interview. They knew I wouldn't dare hurt my prep team because I liked them, but they weren't so sure what would happen if they sent guards. I smell the fragrant rose perfume as we go further and further down the hall. I feel myself involuntarily gag at the odor. I can feel my insides start to rise up, but then fall down when my stomach realizes that I don't have anything in there that I can get rid of.
Cinna sighs when he sees me. I feel the sting of the waxing more than ever before. The scent of all the products makes my stomach swirl. My hair is washed several times and put through deep conditioning. I sigh at the light feeling of my hair being taken care of. They blow dry it and I feel myself fall in and out of sleep, as I had not been getting enough lately due to nightmares. My face is washed and scrubbed and moisturized.
The dress Cinna designed is white with gold swirls that make it look more formal. It is not as tight as most of the dresses have been and it is a ball gown style to make it look as though I have not lost as much weight during my stay here. The heels are shorter than normal because Cinna must've figured out that I am very feeble and weak and would not be able to keep my balance. The heels are gold and can barely be seen because of the bottom of the gown. The material of the dress is light and silky on my skin. It is strapless, but it is tight enough that it will not fall down.
Cinna tells me to sit down so he can do my makeup while my prep team works on my hair. I feel my hair being curled and then the top half being pinned up. The hairspray is put all over, but doesn't make my hair sticky and hard like the last time. They must have gotten a new product. I feel the cold foundation spread and blended over my face. I feel the soft bristles of a brush spread over my eyelids.
When they are finished, I stand up. I nearly fall over, but Cinna stabilizes me. I wobble over to the mirror and look at the wonder they have done to me. They nearly covered up the dark smudges under my eyes, as well as the bruises all over my body. They are still very much there and only the districts watching will see them if they are paying attention. The Capitol will completely ignore them, not even see them, or think that it is a new makeup trend.
Cinna goes to hug me and I feel my body involuntarily shy away from his touch. Instead he just touches my shoulder, "I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire." I slightly smile at the words.
A guard comes and picks me up for the interview. I feel myself stumble often and wobble all over the place, so the guard helps me find balance. I take deep breaths as I do not wish to fall over when walking out to my chair. I find the huge sponge filled chairs that are now gold.
"Hello, Miss Everdeen."
I fake a smile, for I do not wish to be punished for being unfriendly, "Why, hello, Cesar."
"Has your opinion on the war changed at all? Please tell us."
BACK IN DISTRICT 13: (3rd Person POV)
The TV in the cafeteria is on and tuned to the channel of the interview. The grumbles of annoyed soldiers echo throughout the room. Everyone, except a very small few, are upset with Katniss because she has betrayed them, saying the war is coming near and it must end before everyone is dead. They seemed to have forgiven her after the warning, but not enough to forget what she has said. Her words have created a setback in the entire mission of going against the capitol.
Peeta has been waiting in the cafeteria for two hours waiting for the interview to air. When it does, his breath is taken away. Her frame has lost a lot of weight is thin to the bone. Her body is covered in makeup, head to toe, to try and cover up the dark marks all over her skin. She has dark circles under her eyes, showing her lack of sleep, most likely due to nightmares.
Peeta gasps when he hears her voice. "Why, hello, Cesar." Her voice is broken and scared. He tries to get through the crowd around the TV so he can get a closer look.
Cesar asks the question everyone here has been dying to hear, "Has your opinion on the war changed at all? Please tell us." He eagerly exclaims as if he knows what has been happening behind the scenes and is excited by it.
She stops and thinks about it for a little while. It is as if she is thinking about whether saying her true opinion is worth the punishment or just to give into Snow and get away unscathed, well not really, just not get beat for saying the wrong thing. District 13 has a plan to hack into their systems and interrupt the interview, but judging by the hard look that has developed on her face, they don't want to interrupt what she is about to say.
"You know, Cesar, I don't really know what you here in the Capitol want me to say. Not one of you has any idea of what war would be like, but you know you just want your life to be easy. You know you don't want your wonderful games to go away. You love the thrill of the fight, but you don't want to go near it, that's why it is a form of entertainment and only the real deal for the districts. I know that Snow wants me to continue to go on and on about the ceasefire and how that is the best thing for the districts, but does he really think that the people are still going to listen to me? I am not going to be able to un-light a spark that has broken out into a full on fire. Who is going to listen to a broken, frail girl anyway? The only thing that I can do is make it bigger. And honestly, a war is what is best for everyone in the districts." She pauses for a minute, as if surprised she has not been taken off the stage. She looks around and sighs, realizing that even though Snow wants her to stop the guards are enchanted by what she is saying. She continues,
"War is what is best for the districts. Yes, it is going to result in deaths, many people will die, but if they're fighting for their freedom and they really want it, they need to go for it. Maybe they'll lose, maybe they'll win, but nothing will happen if they stop now and don't go for it."
District 13 obviously realized that if they don't go now, the opportunity would've ended as Snow is probably having his men turn off the connections. Suddenly the screen makes a cackling noise and is the propaganda that was filmed earlier.
The screen goes black for a minute and then goes to the shot of the forest and the ashes and the remnants of District 12. Suddenly a voice breaks through, Peeta's voice, "The Capitol thinks they own us, they think that we are no force, that they can keep us down and won't even shed a drop of sweat doing so. But there are men and women who have lost their lives, their children to this cruel group of people. They're the murders, they're the ones who should go down. We are a force that is strong and we will be able to beat them. If we burn, you burn with us." (idk I didn't really know what to write for the speech so yah, imagine that the speech is really inspiring and stuffJ)
Back in the Capitol: (Katniss's POV)
I feel my body being dragged away from the stage as Peeta's voice fills the air. "No," I whisper, "Let me go! I need to hear his voice. Pl-please." My voice cracks and I start sobbing. I am brought back to my prep team so they can take the dress back and give me my other clothes to wear. My prep team takes my dress and puts it on a hanger in the corner. I am given black skinny jeans and a forest green shirt as well as combat boots and a brown leather jacket. They take off my makeup and undo my hair and help me put it back into the braid. Clothes to wear to sleep are already in my cell.
When I'm done, I am taken back to the cell. I'm assuming that I will just get punished for my outbreak tomorrow. I am thrown back into the cell where I land on a bed. Johanna and Finnick are staring at me, stunned that I just did what I did. "I'm proud of you, brainless." Johanna says as comes over and hugs me. We have a TV in our cell so they were able to see everything.
"How did you feel when you heard his voice?" Finnick asks hesitantly.
"I wanted to hear it. I didn't feel anger. I just wanted to hear it, but they dragged me away. Does this mean that they haven't changed me yet?"
Finnick and Johanna hug me. I smile because I now know that it is possible to fight the hijacking. I don't have to hate him. Suddenly I smell the pungent rose odor and feel myself shy away from the cell door. The snake himself, Snow, is at the bars, smirking as he runs his ring-clad fingers against the metal bars.
"Miss Everdeen, you obviously did not take my warning seriously, as your little incident early gave insight into your misbehaving mindset. I overheard your little 'maybe they haven't gotten to me yet' mantra. Trust me, Girl on Fire, we have." And he walks away laughing. His deep, evil laugh stays with me the entire night.
Finnick and Johanna have fallen asleep, or at least I think they have fallen asleep. The sounds of breathing, long and slow, would suggest that my thoughts are right. I open up my mind to what Finnick had said about feelings. I haven't given that as much thought as I should have, but I need to now or it will bother me for a longer period of time.
The creaks in the building keep me awake as my mind wanders into uncharted land. Finnick said he cared about me and that he told himself that he loved Annie, but the more he fights his feelings for me, the stronger they become. I don't know how I feel. I still don't know how I feel about Peeta and even he has made his feelings for me very clear. They both have feelings for me and I don't even know if I even feel emotions. I do not think about such things and wouldn't realize how I felt until it was too late.
If I feel anything for Peeta, it is most likely going to messed up even more as the longer my stay here gets. If I feel anything for Finnick, is very likely to change every time something happens during my torture. Finnick is here with me and the Capitol doesn't know he feels anything for me, so they are not enabled to use it against me or him. The Capitol knows Peeta has feelings for me and they are obviously using that for their advantage. Maybe they know something about me that I don't and that is why they are changing the way I think about him because they know it will hurt me?
Suddenly tossing and turning and other noises near me snap me out of my mind wandering. I look over and see that Finnick is having a nightmare. "Finnick!" I whisper, trying not to disturb Johanna as she seems to actually be getting sleep for once. I get up and start shaking him, "Finnick, wake up!" I whisper-shout.
Finally, he is sitting up straight and is breathing heavily. Next thing you know, his lips are on mine and his arms are wrapped around me. My mind is screaming at me to pull away, but my arms decide to wrap around his neck. I am out of air and I pull away for a second and suck in air quickly. And then his lips are back on mine.
He's kissing me. I'm kissing him. We are kissing. And that's all I know.
A/N: Holy what? I'm updating? I seriously am so so so sorry, so freaking sorry for the LONG wait. I had writer's block so bad and I couldn't write anything, but I tried, several times and the chapters were terrible. Please review. You can tell me how horrible I am for the over year long wait. But please review, tell me how the chapter was. Thanks:)