A/N: This story was inspired by a very funny misfire minifill on the ME kmeme about Garrus and Shepard getting drunk and Shepard propositioning him.

Thank you to my beta reader, Spyke1985 for her help correcting some mistakes and adding a line here and there.

Warning: This chapter has sexual content.

Disclaimer:I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

The morning sun, cruel and relentless, peeks in between the curtains, demanding his attention and Garrus opens his eyes with an annoyed groan. The room slowly comes into focus as he looks around, wondering where the hell he is, and how he got here. It seems like he's in a hotel room, with the generic furniture and decorations that he's seen many times before.

When he lifts his head, it starts to throb with the pain of a massive hangover. He drops back down on the pillow, rubbing his forehead, then grunts and turns over, trying to get some more sleep before he gets up and figures out why exactly he's here.

The puzzle becomes even more intriguing when he finds a human female in the bed with him, lying on her side, facing the other way, her bare back exposed and curving from the pillow down to the sheet at her waist.

He has no idea who she is, or why he's in bed with a human; he's never been attracted to any female outside his species. He checks his own state of undress and finds that just like his bed companion, he too is totally naked.

His gaze travels from her hair down to her shapely hip jutting up under the sheet, then back up to her hair again. It reminds him of someone, he's just not sure whom.

He moves closer to peek over and into her face, his heavy body jostling the bed, and she stirs and turns around. He freezes and stares with an open mouth when he sees the familiar features of his commander and best friend, Shepard.

He slowly starts to remember the events of last night, as different scenes flash into his mind, trying to congeal into a cohesive memory, but still fuzzy at best.

They were on shore leave on Omega, and he and Shepard ended up drinking at Afterlife. They threw back one drink after the other, recounting tall tales about their battle prowess, arguing about who took whose shot, teasing, joking, having a great time.

Unable to resist the beat of the music pulsing in their ears, Shepard eventually dragged him onto the dance floor, ignoring his loud protests.

"Come on, Garrus, show me what you've got!" she yelled over the blasting tempo, grinning from ear to ear.

"Why don't you show me what you've got first?" he replied with a snort.

"All right, watch this!"

She started to move, not quite in tune with the rhythm, swaying from side to side, swinging her arms, the huge amount of alcohol she'd consumed taking away all her inhibitions, making her an even more terrible dancer than usual.

"That's pitiful," he laughed, then tried to do better, failing miserably, barely able to stand on his feet himself.

She burst out laughing then grabbed the back of his neck, pulled his head down and pressed her lips against his mouth, kissing his leathery plates and trying to push her tongue inside.

"Shepard, what the hell are you doing!" He tore himself away from her grasp and pushed her away.

"Come on, Garrus, I have needs, too." She put her hands on his narrow waist and squeezed tight as she snuggled up against him. "I haven't had sex for... at least two years!"

"You were dead for two years!" he protested.

"Exactly!" She grinned up at him, unabashed.

He stood there for a moment, confused, then pushed her away again.

"Shepard, you're a human."

"So?" She didn't understand why that would be a problem.

"I don't have a thing for humans, or any other species. Other than turians, of course... Uh, you know what I mean... I'm just not into you."

"Whatever, I don't care," she shrugged her shoulders. "Let's go have sex."

"Shepard!" he yelled, exasperated.

"Okay, fine, then let's go and have some more drinks." She had to get some kind of enjoyment out of this night.

"That I can do." He grinned at this, hoping she'd forget all about... Sex... With him. He shuddered at the thought.

"Ha! We'll see about that! I'll drink you under the table, Vakarian!" she pointed a challenging finger at his chest.

"You're on!"

The rest of the night is a blur. He's pretty sure that there was more drinking involved, and eventually they decided to leave while they could still walk out on their own feet. Somehow they got a cab and ended up in this hotel room together - but why? He can't quite remember. And how did they end up both naked, and more importantly, what exactly happened after they did?

He rubs his forehead, desperately trying to recall the rest, and slowly starts to see some more flashes of images from the night before.

She and him flopping down on the bed, exhausted and trying to sleep. Her scooting over to his side, putting her arm around his waist and snuggling into his shoulder. His seam starting to loosen as she moved her hand, with all those curious fingers, trailing over his hips, then his stomach, then under his shirt, caressing the soft spots between his tough plates.

He remembers wanting to push her hand away but not being able to. Instead, his own hand started to have a life of its own, traveling down her body, sliding into the dip at her waist, resting there for a while, then continuing its track down her hip and her ass.

'Spirits, that ass.' His heart begins to beat a little faster at the memory.

He loved its curve and softness under his fingers, and he loved the little gasp she made when his fingers moved in between her cheeks and found their way to her wet center. And how hot and wet it was...

His plates start to loosen just thinking about how he rubbed her folds through the fabric of her pants and how she responded, holding onto him tightly, lifting her thigh and resting it on his leg to provide him better access, moaning at every stroke he made. How she fell apart, shaking and crying his name out when she reached her climax. All because of him and his talented fingers. He grins, feeling very proud of himself.

The next thing he remembers is her pulling down his pants, then sitting above him with an incredulous look on her face, asking where the fuck his junk was.

"What the hell do you mean?" he growled indignantly. "It's inside, of course. It just hasn't emerged yet."

"Umm... Emerged?" she stared at him with her eyes opened wide.

"Yeah. Why, do human males have it hang out all the time?"


"That's stupid. Hey, what are you doing!"


And with that, she bent down and ran her fingers from his stomach all the way to the juncture between his legs, stopping at the spot that, when she touched it, made him gasp and buck his hips.

"Aha!" she yelled triumphantly then continued rubbing his seam, and when she saw it loosen up she settled down between his legs and started to lick his opening.

His throat gets dry when he remembers how she teased his cock out with that clever tongue of hers and how she licked him then took him in her mouth and suckled on his shaft, her head bobbing up and down... How incredible it felt when he finally came...

Then they must have undressed themselves or each other, he's not sure which, because he vaguely remembers her showing him what to do with those soft mounds on her chest and how she loved it when he licked that little nub in the middle. They must have passed out or gone to sleep after that because the rest is a big, black void that his mind can't penetrate anymore.

He's not sure what to think about all this. It certainly seems, from what he can remember, that in spite of their physical differences they could make it work and... it was good. Really good. But he'd never considered her more than a friend, and he's never been interested in an inter-species relationship before.

He wonders how she will react when she wakes up. Will she remember what happened? How will she feel about it? Should he get dressed and sneak out before she becomes conscious?

His frantic thoughts freeze in a split second when she opens her eyes and looks at him, bewildered.

"Garrus? What are you doing here?"

She suddenly realizes that she's naked from the waist up, and she grabs the sheet and yanks it up, covering her front, sitting up at the speed of light, then cries out indignantly.

"What the hell happened? What did you do?!"

"Me?!" He sits up, enraged at her implications. "You're the one who started it!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You tried to seduce me!" he points an accusing finger at her.

"Are you crazy?" She clutches the sheet a little harder. "You must have drunk too much last night."

"Ha! Says the one who passed out, snoring."

"I never snore, you moron," she grunts, picks up her pillow and whacks him in the head with it.

"Well... As long as we're here... Do you want to go another round?" he flares his mandibles in a wide grin.

"Very funny," she growls at him, grabs the sheet, snatching it off the bed - and him, and wraps it around herself as she retreats to the bathroom.

"Fucking asshole, making a joke of everything," she grumbles as she disappears behind the door.

Garrus swallows hard. Actually, he wasn't joking.

A/N: More to come. :)