Title: Wonder Twin Powers, Activate!
Author: Constance Truggle
Summary: Buffy and Faith deal with Superheroes.
Disclaimer: Don't own Buffy or DC.
Word Count: 1243
Author's Note: Post-Chosen for Buffy and for Batman: Canon? What canon? Psh! For hellbells. Just because.
He was visiting his parents gravesite when the things attacked. They looked like they were wearing masks, but he saw one face morph from human to inhuman without use of any exterior product. And there were others around, as well. Quite a few people in Gotham turned up to visit the grave of Thomas and Martha Wayne on the anniversary of their deaths, it appeared. Bruce Wayne was known for his philandering playboy ways, not his fighting prowess. He was helpless in the face of death because he needed to protect his identity. Not for himself, but for Alfred and others who depended on him; like Dick and Tim. Bruce was a very lucky man that night.
Two women came out of the darkness, one was dark like the night, the other golden as the sun. These two were warriors supreme, it seemed. At least, they were against this foe. The crowd of monsters that were doing their level best to pick off the innocents suddenly focussed all of their attention on these two newcomers.
"Aww! Did we crash your party?" the blonde asked in an annoying baby voice.
"Nah, B! They crashed the party, we're the clean-up crew!" the brunette's voice was smoky and nearly purred from her.
"Right! Did you bring the dustbusters?" the blonde was perky, now.
Bruce watched as the monsters disappeared one by one, and he caught a glimpse of one turning to dust. Vampires, then. It was good to know what they looked like. Rather, how to tell once they showed their true selves. He'd have to work on some gear for tracking body heat, he mused while watching the young ladies finish the vampires off. He knew what they were, now, too. Diana had waxed poetic about the power and grace of the Slayer, regardless of the mystical root of that power. She had wanted to claim them for Themyscira, but the Council of Watcher's carried autonomy to a whole new level. Only now it was the International Slayers Council and they were intent of making sure all the slayers around the world were under their auspices.
He watched these slayers fight, and listened to their banter. It was only as they were walking away that the blonde called the brunette by name. And the League knew that only one slayer ever fought with Faith by her side. Bruce had just had the privilege of watching the last of the Chosen. Dick would have enjoyed it. Tim might have, as well.
Buffy and Faith were laughing over something as Buffy's phone started ringing. She answered and sighed softly.
"Uncle Jim wants us to head up to Gotham PD. There's somebody there who wants to meet us, apparently," Buffy said, and Faith mirrored her sigh.
"What do you wanna bet that it's another one of them superhero types? Man! They never like us, so why are they always so eager to ogle us?"
Buffy smiled faintly, but they turned and made their way to see her uncle. Their uncle, since Uncle Jim had taken one look at Faith and just about adopted her right then and there. Buffy had been pleased. This was a family of Faith's own. Well, she had to share them with Buffy – and Dawn if the brat ever cared to visit; Buffy felt Dawn was getting a little to big for her britches when it came to her self-importance – but it was a family that Faith could claim and not have the entirety of the Council be part of it. The brunette needed that and the blonde was happy to supply it for her.
Soon enough they were being escorted to the roof of the police station, and Jim Gordon was leaning against a spotlight with a bat silhouette attached to it. She could hear other people up there, though only their uncle was visible. Faith could hear them, too. She could tell by the way her sister-slayer had tensed slightly and her eyes were darting around.
"Alright, Uncle Jim. We're here. Where are your little fanboys?" Buffy asked, slightly amused but highly annoyed by this pit stop. Faith snickered and Gordon rolled his eyes at the girls.
"Fanboys, Buffy? And here I was, thinking you might want to inform the local hero group about how to take down your kind of trouble."
"I dunno, Uncle J. B's right about the fanboy part, but the thing is, every time we meet our fans, they don't tend to like us much. We've given up on helping the superhero community out. They're kinda stuck up, you feel me?"
There was some muttering back in the darker shadows and Buffy laughed while Faith glared.
"Uncle Jim, you did tell them we have enhanced hearing, right?" A heartfelt shit! was heard at that.
"What'd he say?"
"Just that he'd like to feel her, if you know what I mean."
"I hear ya!" Faith agreed.
By then, Batman, Nightwing and Robin had all moved out and into the dim light available on the rooftop. Buffy gave a little finger wave while Faith scowled a bit at the youngest one. Who held his hands up.
"It wasn't me!" And that voice wasn't quite right, so Faith's glare moved on to the next one. Nightwing just grinned at her and cocked his head with a shrug that said it was definitely him and he wasn't ashamed. Faith licked her lips and Buffy gave her a soft slap to the back of the head.
"Business now, flirting with the masked man later."
So the two Slayers told the vigilantes-turned-legit-superheroes all about their kind of foes and how best to defeat them.
"If all else fails, very little survives a beheading," Buffy said. She noted the distaste that pronouncement was received with and held back a sigh. It just wasn't worth it. "Fine. You don't like that idea? Here's what you do. You get our problems here, give one of us a call." She pulled a card out, wrote two numbers on the back of it, slapped it against Batman's chest and almost-pouted. "Failing that, Uncle Jim can always reach us if you need us. We've gotta go now. Can't have you getting your hands dirty rooting out the evil demons in your city."
"Damn, B. You raggin'?" Faith asked as they moved toward the door that would let them back inside.
Buffy shot Faith a dirty look. "I'm just so sick of the so-called heroes getting pissy because a demon has to die. We can't just lock them up like some human criminal, you know? Look what happened when the Army tried that. We spent forever cleaning up the mess when their containment cells went on the fritz and everything got out at once."
"I gotcha. It's kill or be killed with the demons. But didja think that maybe they just don't know how to tell if it's one they should kill or one that's nice, like Clem?"
"Don't use logic on me, Faith. You make my mad go away and then I just feel like a first rate bitch."
"Won't hear me denying that, but I agree with you. They can always ask about which ones are the good or neutral ones. Or call us."
"Yup. That's us. The janitors of the world."