Well, I got a follower on this, so I must be doing something right! Thus, the continuation. This chapter is to sort of let this whole thing sink into the main character, who still doesn't quite believe it's real. That's the long, nice way of saying I wrote a filler chapter. R&R
"Bro…why the f*ck didn't you tell me I had kids?" I lamented to Tony while he continued to play and ignore me.
States. My f*cking states. There were fifty…even the girls told me their names and I didn't catch on. New questions arose, but I thought of two in particular.
"Why didn't I know about them?" and "Why are they here?"
I went back into my small sitting room. Sure, I'd like a big space, but I never thought I'd need it with just me and my alien dude (who spends all his time in the basement with the PSP anyway). The same gathering from the kitchen was there: eight boys, five girls. All of them looked up when I walked in the room.
"Don't mind me," I muttered. "Just passing through."
I went to the phone I left on the table in the kitchen. I scrolled through my contacts, trying to think of someone to talk to. I decided to bug one of the few people who would still talk to me. Unfortunately, he was busy.
"Hey," I said at the beep. "Listen, dude, call me back when you get this, I need to tell you something." I hung up.
"Who was that?"
I turned. One of the boys was standing in the archway.
He looked at me like he thought I was lying to him. "Yeah. Anyway, if you're not busy, you can come talk to us." He sarcastically added as he turned to lead me into the room, "I bet there are a nice few statements Virginia would like to say to you."
So, I had little choice but to lean against the wall in clear view of all twenty-six eyes.
"Well?" I said to the one who invited me. "What is this about?"
He wouldn't speak. "Not much." I turned to the voice. The fifth of my female former colonies spoke. "We're here to just talk."
A weird scoff came from my right.
"Oh, put a sock in it, Virginia," scolded one of her brothers.
"Don't tell me what to do, little brother!" Virginia yelled, getting to her feet.
"Oh, god," North said, rolling her eyes.
"Here we go again," said the boy with the tri-corner hat.
Virginia and the boy got to the center, right in each other's faces before two of their brothers pulled them apart.
"You can do something, you know," said Georgia to me. I pushed myself off the wall and decided to help the one who was controlling Virginia, because the boy was already being subdued by two of his brothers.
"Okay," I said, pushing my glasses back up my nose after Virginia had broken free of our grip and went to her seat of her own accord, however angrily. "What the f*ck was that about?"
"Virginia and Delaware have been fighting over who's oldest since Pennsylvania's ratification," said the boy with the hat.
"And your name?" I muttered.
"Massachusetts." He stood. "Okay, names, everyone; we've been completely forgotten about," he announced to the gathering. "Starting with the Carolinas at the door, go."
"South," said the one closest to the door. It's going to be a lot of filler to name them all here: I'll name them as they speak. Virginia was the last one; she actually complied, saying her name but still refusing to look at me.
"Right…great to meet you all."
"Again," said the one who introduced himself as Connecticut.
"Well, yes, you've actually met us before."
"Last one was about…hey, Rhode, how old is Hawaii, you know?"
"There you go."
I had kids I didn't speak to for over a half-century? And now they want to talk?
I heard the phone in the other room. "Yeah, can we pick this up later? Great," I said without waiting for a response. I snatched the phone off the table and took off for a walk.
"So, what's the problem that you so desperately wanted to talk to me?" said the familiar voice on the other end. Not so much as a "hello"?
"Nice to hear from you, too, bro."
"Hm," he said. "Well, what was it?"
"You in a rush?"
"Well, no, I'm actually trying to ignore France's calls and you seemed like my best option. So, stop avoiding the subject and tell me what the problem is." He sounded annoyed. I wonder if the desire to stop talking would've been there had he picked up earlier.
"Uh…how's life treating you, pal?"
"America, you have three seconds to tell me what's up before this conversation ends."
"Okay, okay," I said, giving in because he wouldn't pick up again after he hung up. "I wanted to ask you about raising kids."
"Lovely, I always knew you'd do that to some poor girl, but it's nice to hear you're stepping up."
"What? No!" I yelled. "No, she's not preg- well, actually, there is no 'she', but she's still not –"
"Alright, alright! Why do you have to know, then?"
"Well…no one…at least to my knowledge, no one got pregnant…but I still have kids somehow."
"You have kids. As in, 'already', and pluralized child." Quiet again. "How many? Twins? Triplets?"
"Only two sets of twins."
"Four children? Blimey, America, you're-"
"Actually, Brit," I said, hesitantly cutting him off. "Closer to…fifty."
"Aw, come on, man!" I yelled at the phone as I dialed him back. I had to call twice before he picked up.
"Took you long enough!" I said in frustration.
"Well, I didn't think you'd appreciate my laughter," he said, still sounding like he was. Doesn't do any good to hide it if you're just going to tell me about it later.
"Well, at first it wasn't humorous, it was more…more like nervous laughter, somehow, and then the number sank in and, well, I get it now."
I wasn't about to tell him how much longer it took me to get it.
"Well, well…now you're a parent. How lovely!" I could feel the mockery ooze through the receiver. "Tell me, how are you dealing with all the little children running around?"
"Oh, worse…I have teenagers. From the way they were talking, the thirteen oldest have already met you."
"Oh." That sobered him up fairly quickly. "Yes…I suppose that would make sense."
"And you almost let half of them become their own country."
"Well, the reason that failed was because of Lee's own failures, and I believe it was one of your – "
"Look, I'm not calling to get a history lesson, I'm calling so that I can vent about the fifty brats who broke into my house!"
"Broke in? Aren't they family to you? I thought you'd let them in."
"Well, no…my soon-to-be ex-bro did."
"What have I been telling you? Damn creature is nothing but trouble."
"Yeah, but here's the thing: they're all talking like they just got home from school. I haven't talked to any one of these urchins since before the first world war."
"Quite a period."
"Yes, but why would I just forget about them?"
"Ah, well, listen, I'd love to stay and chat more on this, but this the eleventh call I've received from France, and I suppose I can't ignore him forever, try though I might. We'll pick this up later this week."
He hung up. "Yeah, bye," I mumbled before turning back around and heading back to the house.
"Throw it!" yelled one of the boys, holding a bat, to his apparently younger sister. I moseyed up the sidewalk to be greeted by a miniaturized game of softball on my front lawn.
"I'm working on it," she said. Her eyes went from lining up the ball to the ground and back. Finally she screamed out in frustration, "Maybe if Kansas would learn how to call!"
"Hey!" the umpire yelled back, standing up. "Maybe if you'd learn how to read it!"
"Whoa, calm down, Kan," said the shorter one at bat, placing a hand on the taller umpire's chest. "It's not Montana's fault she plays ball like a girl."
At his words, Montana threw herself at her brothers, while the three "basemen" came infield. I sighed and opened the gate to the property, crossed the lawn to the scuffle, and picked up one child in each hand by the back of their shirts.
"Ooh!" said one of the outfielders. "The ref's calling the fight!"
"Enough, both of you. Do you fight like this often?"
"Well, not usually." said Montana. "But Arizona's been all weird lately. Wanting to start fights with everyone."
I looked at the boy. He gave me a scowl to rival Virginia's. He turned on his heel and marched back into the house. Well if he was so unhappy here, why didn't he just leave? He was definitely not invited here.
"What's his problem?" I asked.
"Uh…" Kansas the umpire looked at batter Montana. A baseman (identified later as Iowa) offered the answer, "Recently? You."
It got long, which is why I'm stopping here. I have a lot more planned for the relationship with the 13 colonies, which was where we were heading back to before the softball game. But with fifty kids running around, more is happening than just the main stuff. Also am planning on historical flashback things.