Hey guys, so here's my second story…as you can see, I love writing what's going on inside a character's head, well at least I try to lol. I'm working simultaneously on my other story "Secrets Revealed…Passions Explored" so I'll update that one real soon…PROMISE! For now, hope you enjoy this one!
It's not that Harvey doesn't know how to say the words, it's just that he feels he doesn't have to. All their years together and words have become almost unnecessary for them to communicate. From the moment he's meet her, Donna has always been able to brighten his day, make him smile and keep up with his sense of humor. He knows that it's not a conventional relationship, most people have their opinions but to them it's the most natural thing in the world. Their connection to each other is unparallel by any other, in his heart Harvey knows that it's love. When she's around him, he just feels better, he feels alive and he's happy. From the first moment she has always been one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen. Her skin is like warm satin and her hair falls perfectly, she is charming, captivating and sexy.
Everyday that Harvey got to work, Donna is the first person he talks to and the one person he can count on, she knows him like no one else. So why has it taken him so long to see what is so plain to him now. She has always been there and she has promised to always be there.
When Donna had agreed to leave Cameron Dennis and work with him, Harvey knew that they were in it for the long haul, as he never once considered having anybody else. It was an amazing time for them both, Harvey was growing into one of the best lawyers in Manhattan and his reputation as the best closer in town was growing faster than either of them expected. Well at least faster than he did, Donna always told him he was the best. He always smiled when she said that, knowing she played a big part in his success. Donna had his schedule and everyday work life down to a science, she knew exactly what he wanted and when he'd want it. She always amazed him when she did that, no wonder every lawyer in town was trying to recruit her every chance they got, especially Louis. Harvey loved how Donna always handled Louis, especially that time when she fake cried and told him 'it's like her soul hurts', classic Donna!
So many people have come and gone in their lives, people who know their love and loyalty for each other and people who envy their relationship. Harvey knows that in all his relationships, no one has been able to capture his heart and it's partly because he's unable to commit. He's met so many women, had so many relationships that people call him a playboy and think that he's never going to settle down. It may be true NOW but it was completely different seven years ago. He and Donna had known each other about five years at that time, having moved from the DA's Office three years back and now working at Pearson Hardman.
Harvey remembers the day like it was yesterday, they had been working long hours for more than a month and really needed a break but being who they are, they knew a break would only come when they closed the case. They had spent the entire day going over past court files, clients records, witness reports, anything that could help him in his case. He remembers that even at that late hour and at work, Donna still looked exceptionally beautiful. She sat on the couch in his office, feet up and going through the files, unaware of him staring at her. He remembers how she tucked her hair behind her ear and gently tapped the pen on her chin, concentrating on what she was reading. He stole so many loaded glances at her, that he's amazed she didn't catch him. It wasn't until Donna told him that it was past 1am that Harvey realized how late it was. They decided to call it a night and as Donna called Ray, they sat down to have one last drink. They talked about everything except the case or the firm, they had the ability to change topics and conversation and still be totally engrossed in what the other person had to say. Donna was always so animated when she had a good piece of gossip to share and her enthusiasm for the theater always left Harvey amazed. She would always ask him to tell her stories about his father, who she'd met a couple of times before and if Harvey didn't know better he would have thought his father looked forward to seeing her more than him at those times. As they sat there sipping on their single malt, Donna with her feet up and her head resting on the back of the couch in his office and Harvey next to her with his feet stretched out onto the coffee table and his arm across the back of the couch, it felt comfortable and they both didn't want to go home. Donna was in the middle of telling him of the new play she was going to see at the Apollo Theater and scolding him that she needed the night off on the day, when, as Harvey looked at her, he couldn't contain his desire to kiss her. He remembers the way she instantly responded and kissed him back only to pull away after a few minutes.
"Harvey?" Donna exclaimed thickly
"Wow" Harvey sighed
"That's not an explanation" Donna murmured
"It was" Harvey replied and smiled, "I have been wanting to do that for a long time" he continues, looking at her lips
"Harvey" Donna said again, and this time Harvey heard the fear in her voice and looked up. Wanting to take away the fear and uncertainty that he saw, he pulled her to him and their bodies immediately respond to each other. He captured her mouth with his and kissed her passionately and felt the silky touch of her tongue as his own slipped between her parted lips. He knew he never felt that before, it was intense, it was gentle, it was intoxicating. It was more than just the late night, or the alcohol, it was more than just about sex with Donna, it goes beyond what's on the surface. But he felt her pull away
"Mmmm Harvey, please stop" Donna said as she pulled in a lungful of air, "we can't do this, we can't…I don't think… oh God"
"We can" he answered as he fought for his own breath and caressed her cheek, "you can't deny what just happened"
"No but Harvey, can we really do this?" Donna questioned and they both looked at each other piercingly for a few minutes, "you can't answer that and it's because we CAN'T" she offered when he didn't speak
"It's not that simple and you know it" Harvey got up from the couch and walked towards his record collection and then turned to face her, "Donna you are a big part of my work life, you are here WITH me, how can you ask that" he protested, wanting to feel her lips on his again
"You're right, it's not that simple" Donna said as she got up from the couch, she stood in front of him, mere inches away that he could smell her perfume, "it's not just about being around each other Harvey" He listened as she tried to explain, not understanding exactly why she was protesting but he knew he wanted to make the fear in her eyes go away
"Nothing is gonna change between us but if this bothers you so much, let's just forget about" he said dejectedly, turning away from the closeness of her
"It bothers me because I don't want us to not be able to finish what we started when we left the DA's office, I KNOW your career is important to you, I know what it means to you to be the best at what you do and we made a deal that we were going to do this. However long and whatever it took to get there, we would do it. If we complicate things now, I don't want you to resent me later on" Donna explains as she touched his arm, a simple action that affected his body
"Is that what you think will happen?" He turned and looked at her, his eyes searched her face
"I just don't want to wait to see IF it happens" she murmured and stepped back, realizing how dangerously close they were to each other
"Donna, I am telling you that I will never resent you, you might make me mad as hell sometimes, but I will never resent you or anything that you have or will do for me. I'm not sure if I'm saying the right words but what I feel right NOW is something I've never experienced and I am willing to see where it goes. Yes I have a lot that I still have to do in my career and a lot that Jessica expects from me, a lot that I have to repay her for BUT I'm not changing my mind about you" Harvey declared, fervently begging her with his eyes not to pull away from him
"I'm not saying its not real Harvey, I'm just saying it's not the right time" Donna said, her voice shaky and Harvey pulled back, put his hands in his pockets and tilted his head at her. A mixture of emotions played on his face, frustration, understanding, love, admiration and he wasn't sure what to say next but at that moment Ray called to say he was down stairs. As they went down the elevator and out to where Ray was waiting she stopped him
"Harvey, I just want you to know that the feelings that we have will help us, we know that we will always be able to trust each other and do what's best for each other. I promise that I will be here for you and I will do whatever it takes. We have worked so hard and you are so close to making Senior Partner, it's what you've always wanted" she explained and he looked at her and smiled
"You're still not getting holloween off" he joked, his eyes sad but he put on a smile
"We'll see" she replied and with that they head off to their separate lives
Harvey remembers that night, it broke his heart what he saw in Donna's eyes. He saw hurt, he saw fear, he saw regret and he never wanted to make any woman feel like he wasn't sure about them. Not just any woman, Donna. For all she's been through with him, he wanted her to know that he was being honest but like all the times he saw his father do it, he just couldn't bring himself to say what he really felt. He knww she was right about his career, a career that they BOTH built and was proud off, so he let it go. He let go of the idea of THEM and he focused on the reality of what they've achieved.
He still remembers all the good times they had after that and how amazing it is to work with her. She did not fail in her duties or her promise, she was always there and he was always painfully aware of how close but never close enough. But Harvey was a man of charm, a man of stellar reputation and man of pride, so he pushed that area of his life to the back of his mind and in all the years after that, they've managed to keep their relationship professional. No one can deny that they are a perfect match, at the office she practically runs his life and he practically lets her. One thing that no one has probably ever noticed about them is that they've made a very conscious effort to never touch, not a hand shake, a reassuring pat, a hug, nothing that will ignite the passion and desire that they experienced THAT night in his office. But they cannot deny the force that is there between them, even when they are standing talking to each other, they always automatically stand so close to each other it's as though they 're in their own little circle when they talk.
Shortly after that Harvey realized that things between them had changed from 'maybe there's a possibility' to 'them moving on to separate personal lives'. It was a Christmas dinner, he doesn't remember where but he remembers the guy she was dancing with that night. A big shot attorney who he faced maybe once in court, the guy was good but not good enough, and he's not good enough now. They were laughing and seemed to be having a good time and Harvey saw how animated she was in her conversations with this guy and he couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. He pushed the thought out of his head because he knew she was right about the decision they made and seeing her with this guy made him realize that she was moving on. That realization came even more obvious when he saw that she barely had time for him that night and she had left with the hot shot lawyer.
Harvey had met someone that night too, a jury consultant named Zoe Lawford, she was charming, beautiful and witty. He and Zoe hit it off from the very beginning and knowing how things stood with Donna, he decided to give Zoe a chance. When Donna had found out about his relationship with Zoe, she seemed pleased and that made him realize even more what their relationship was. Boss and assistant, nothing more, friends maybe but nothing more, confidants maybe but nothing more. They lived their personal lives outside of the office and they focused on what mattered most to both of them, Harvey becoming senior partner at Pearson Hardman, something that they both knew was going to happen. The many meaningless relationships that Harvey had for all those years never seemed to bother Donna and maybe he continued to do it hoping one day he would get a reaction out of her or maybe he enjoyed the fun of it all. Whatever the reason, he knew that none of them would last and it didn't matter to him or even bother him, as long as he and Donna worked together and were around each other everyday, everything was ok.
That was until his father died. It was a day Harvey remembers well, a day that he wouldn't want to forget, for two reasons. One was that he will always remember his father as he thinks of his promotion to Senior Partner, it was as though his father was right there with him, even in death, he was there on the most important day of his career. The second reason is because of something Zoe had said to him when he met her in his office after his promotion. She had told him he had lost his way! That was something he had never thought about until she said it. It was never an issue before because he never had to think like that. He was grateful for Zoe saying that to him but it didn't impact him in the way she thought. Harvey was a lawyer, a closer, and the best goddamned closer there was and in becoming the best at what you do, there maybe things that happen along the way that people may question you about or judge you for but one thing they can never say is that he was a fraud or a crooked lawyer. He played by the books and he followed the rules according to the law, neither Donna nor Jessica would have allowed him to do anything that would jeopardize the firm or his career OR him. He trusted them enough with every area of his life and if they saw something that could ruin him in any way, he was confident that they would have taken action. The only place he had lost his way was in matters of the heart and he knew where his heart was. So when he thinks of the day his father died, he thinks of what Zoe said and how that statement made him think of Donna!
That was five years ago but today, as Harvey looks at Donna through his glass wall, his thoughts going back all those years, he knew what he had to do and what he had to say
"Donna" Harvey calls through the intercom and she spun around, "can you make reservations for two at Masa" he smiles
"Let me guess, Zoe?" Donna questions back with a smile and he tilts his head at her, "what? She's been around lately since the mock trial" Donna exclaims as she heads into his office. "I don't really care but its hard not to notice the parade every now and then" she snickers
"So you DO notice the other women around me" he points out
"How can I not, I practically organize THEIR schedule as well. At least their play dates" Donna smirks
"Which reminds me, send an 'I'm sorry note' to Daniella, I'm not gonna be able to make it to the play ground this week" he jokes, looking at her teasingly
"Would you like me to add some flowers to that note, or I could do a singing telegram, might cheer her up after the let down" Donna smirks as she snaps her finger at him
"You're enjoying this aren't you, me breaking off a date with someone else" Harvey smiles cockily as he leans back in his chair
"Do you have selective memory?" Donna says sarcastically, ''cuz I do recall you asking me to make reservations for two and unless you're going for a second date with Louis, I'm guessing it's with a woman" Donna declares as she sits down, "let's see, you've been extremely pensive these past few days, just like you were around the time a certain young lady left Pearson Hardman"
"I don't think I'm pensive" Harvey interrupts
"Say's the man who THINKS too much" Donna retorts, then continues "You've been extremely nice to Mike, trying to keep him from pestering you about your pensive mood"
"I'm not pensive and I when I am NOT nice to Mike" Harvey asks, looking confused
"I said extremely," Donna replies and then continues, "and you are forever staring at me, when you think I'm not looking" Donna smiles as he looks at her surprised that she knew he was staring at her
"That's because you're directly in front my line of vision, being pensive makes you stare into space" Harvey defends himself
"I thought you weren't pensive?' she accuses him
"I thought you didn't care!" he argues
"I don't, except when it involves ME" Donna replies
"How does it involve YOU" Harvey quieres, looking surprised
"You staring at me involves me" Donna explains cockily, "so I think you're making reservations for you and Zoe, cuz you're regretting how you left things 5 years ago and you want a second chance. I'm not sure how staring at me fits into all of this, maybe you just needed some feminine inspiration" Donna boasts as she stands up to leave
"You finished?" Harvey asks
"I will be when you tell me I'm right" Donna counters, standing with one hand on her hip and Harvey looks at her. Knowing that she is ALMOST right but happy that she is still so far from the truth
"Fine! Two out of three ain't bad" Harvey offers and starts going through the work on his desk. Donna looks confused
"Two? Which one did I get wrong?" she questions
Ok this has been pretty long…hope you all enjoyed it. I'm not sure if I should continue, I was thinking to just leave it to your imagination to finish off where Harvey is going with this…but I've got some ideas. So let me know if you want to read more. Please review and let me know what you think of this story!