By: Lynn

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Obviously.

Rating: PG-13, to be on the safe side. May be higher in later chapters

Author's Note: Sorry this is so short – I will try to put up more soon. Please review, thanks!

Author's Note 2: Please don't take Willow's thoughts in Chapter 1 to be anti-lesbianism, Tara, etc. I liked Tara and I'm sad she's dead. But I'm a huge fan of Oz, and I've always thought that Willow loved both him and Tara. Because I think this, I believe Willow swings both ways, if you will. I think she deserves someone to help/ comfort her, and I think Oz would be great for that. I'm not sure if I'm going to have them restart their relationship, though – any suggestions?


The sound of Spike's unnecessary breathing were the only ones to fill the cold, dark cave. He was lying flat on his back, shirtless. The blood was drying and the scars were almost completely healed. Some thing about being a vampire were good.

It felt like hours had passed since the demon had granted him his reward. In reality, it probably hadn't been all that long. However, he didn't really know what reality was anymore.

All the crap he put up with from the Slayer and her friends in Sunnyhell, all the burning pain shooting from that damn chip, all the trials he faced in this cave – none of it was as bad as what he was feeling right now.

He felt the same.

There was no remorse, no guilt, no faces of past kills dancing across his mind's eye. No desire to brood like the bloody poof.

True, he felt bad about what he did in Buffy's bathroom, but no more so than he did before his "vacation" to Africa.

In shore, he was the same person…er, vampire…er, thing. What was he now, anyway? He knew the demon gave him a sould – he felt it come back to him. It just didn't change him at all. So he wasn't a vampire, technically. But he certainly wasn't a Vampire With a Soul. That is, was, and always would be his nancy-boy sire.

Finally the truth dawned on him. Turns out the Slayer was right all along: this "reward" of his didn't matter in the slightest because with or without a soul, he truly was a monster.