Chapter 2: Darker Mist
Disclaimers: Rabble rabble, Yugioh, rabble rabble, nothing belongs to me, rabble rabble fanfiction.
LAST TIME, ON SHADOW OF KURABRIDGED:
Nothing much, just some crappy plot establishment. Like really. Anyways, onto the continuation.
The two evil, malicious, devious, craftiest villains of the ZEXAL Alternate universe, waited around the corner, hoping their target would show up any moment soon.
Any moment now.
Any, moment, now.
"Seriously, it's been over a freaking year Kurwai broski, I don't think he's coming."
"Nonswense, the herwo always shwows up wate to the pawtay."
"Dude, are you getting a cold, you sound more raspy than usuals. And that's saying a lot man."
Kurwai shrugged it off, dusting his sleeves.
"I'z say thwat my doctwor was unabwle to pwovwide the pwopwer medicwaytion."
"I think the author is going to have to fix his keyboard dic later when this chapter is over."
Kurwai looked at Dark Mist strangely.
"Dictionary. His dictionary. Totally what I meant. Yup."
The two stared at each other for a good while before Dark Mist broke the silence.
"So who wants to play hou-"
*Short Guitar Solo from the first English Dub theme of ZEXAL*
Take a chance to make it all the way,
Take a chance, forgetting yesterday
Take a breath, my heart will lead the way,
Take a chance, I'll take a chance in today!
Astral and Yuma arrived in a dark alleyway, rain starting to fall.
"Yuma, I do not know about you, but I feel that this is a terrible idea."
"Pfft, you're so cray cray Astral. We searched for this alleyway for over two years, and now we're going to beat this Vetrix guy a new one until he bleeds out his number cards!"
"Figuratively speaking, right? We wouldn't want to be accused of first degree murder."
"I'll let you hold the bat."
"Let's kick ass and take names."
The two then looked at the alleyway, where they were shortly clonked on the head by a jar of mayonnaise.
"Well, I hope that answers your question Patrick. Mayonnaise IS an instrument. An instrument of PAIN!"
Kurwai then gave Dark Mist another stink eye.
"What? I loved that episode! Anyways, I think we should stick his body inside this shed and not draw any attention to ourselves."
"Gwood Idwea my wife partnwer!"
"Wife?! But I'm a dude! But if you really do like rule 63…"
Kurwai shook his head as he stuffed Yuma into the nearby shed.
"We cwould always waid his computwer with (bleep) on the intwernet water."
TWO HOURS LATER, IN THE BATKEY:
"Yo, 39 Utopi-bro! Wake up!"
"The bloody hell do you want 96?"
"Why does everything have to be bloody with you?"
"You've known me for over a millennia, and you're still asking me this."
"On the contrary. But now, I want to make a deal, if you can beat me in a game of Mario Party, I'm under your control, and vice-versa!"
The large number then arranged a large board for them to play, nodding at the terms.
Dark Mist then chuckled to himself before opening his arms.
"Let me tell you right now man, I am the best damn Mario Party player you have ever-"
Seventeen minutes later, Utopia had beaten him quite easily, with a three star lead, and all three bonus stars.
"You just got your own arse handed to you."
"Wait, hold on Utopia, if I give you a thousand dollars-"
"You know how long it has been since I made an appearance in a fanfic? Too bloody long. Just give me the damn money, I need it to cover expenses."
"Wow, that was...seriously easier than I expected."
The two then stared at each other in the key for a good deal of time.
"So, cash or cheque?"
MEANWHILE, BACK OUTSIDE IN HEARTLAND:
"Yuma, are you sure that invading the Heartland tower to get proper recording equipment for your new hit album is a good idea?"
Kotori just stared at him blankly.
"I'll let wou be my manawager."
Kurwai and Kotori then kicked the door down, a large amount of security alarms going off.
Meanwhile, inside the security office:
"Oh yeah, more, more, MOOOOORRREEEE-"
The larger man then stopped what he was doing, throwing the objects in his hand across the room into the trash.
"What the hell are you doing with that picture of me, lotion, and tissue box?"
Gauche then stopped for a minute, trying to wipe his hand.
Suddenly, the alarms inside the office rang, a bewildered silver coat passing by them.
"Nistro, Dextra, where is that damn fourth chaos emerald?!"
"It's Kite to you! WHERE IS IT?!"
Droite then looked at the security cameras.
"I think the larger concern is that Yuma is breaking into the building!"
"Right. My eternal rival has arrived. Let's go stop him."
Not even a minute sooner, Kurwai and Kotori had shown up in the corridor that was leading to the security office.
"Wait, he's already here!"
Kurwai then walked into the building, a smug look on his face.
"Hey, so, do wou guys mwind if I twook over the bwuilding to make a wecord companwy?"
"Yes, yes we would mind!"
Gauche then stood up, chest out, brawn ready.
"S-she's right! As executive senior security bodyguard, I command you to cease your hostile-"
"I'll wet ywou bwe my wead guitarwist."
"That's not going to work!"
"You'll get gwoupies!"
"I said I'm done! RARRRGGGHHHHHHHH-"
While Gauche was charging at Kurwai, the darker doppelganger had a malicious smirk.
"Drwoite is wone of thwose gwoupies!"
Gauche then stopped in place, sweating profusely. Droite then slowly started speaking.
"Now hear me out guys, if we let him take over the tower, we will get both money, and WOMEN!"
"Gauche, that is the most absurd and asinine thing you have ever said!"
Kurwai then whistled to Gauche, his ear perking up.
"Gauche, westwain her."
"Intwo the cwoset."
Gauche then charged like a bull, tackling Droite, raising her above his head, and bringing her into the closet where the sound of clothing being removed could be heard. Kaito stood across the room, glaring at him.
"Yuma, enough of this. You may have beaten those two, but unlike them, I am something that you fear. The myth that has only been told of in legends. I, KITE, TENJO, HAVE BECOME, A SUPER SAIYAN!"
The two stayed silent for a good while before Kurwai spoke up again.
"What dwoes that chwange?"
"You're alweady bwonde and have bwue eyes. How is dis differwent?"
"I, I...I am a super saiyan! You are not! And I'll prove it!"
Kaito then scrunched up into a powering up position, where he started making a low resonating voice from his throat.
"What are wou dowing?"
"Powering up, don't interrupt me."
Kaito then resumed powering up, before Yuma socked him in the jaw, sending him out of the door and into the janitor's closet.
"Weeabwoo. Now, the mwain centwal tower!"
Kurwai then pulled a lever, causing the whole place to transform, dark thunder clouds forming.
"I, KURWAI TSUKWUMO, HAS BECWOME THE KING OF MWUSIC! AHAHA. AHAHAHAHA. AHAHA. AHAHAHAHA."
"Wait, you're not Yuma?!"
"Of cwourse not!"
"Then that means you're not going to make an albwum?!"
"Yes...I mwean no! I'm still going to need wou for accountwing purpwoses."
"Oh...then this means I still get paid right?"
"Yes. Now, Dwark Mwist!"
The darker entity then appeared out of the ground, a large document in front of him.
"Make this contract with Kurwai, and you get to be a magical girl!"
"Yay! I always wanted to be a magical girl!"
Kotori then signed the contract, a dark boom of thunder being heard as she signed her name.
"Now...wet's, WOCK, THWIS, HWOUSE!"
Merry Crelated Christmas!