A short little thing I wrote on a whim. Thanks to all my Twitter friends for helping me INLCUDING: Carlie, Kelly, Bianca, Heddy(even though you didn't do anything), Krystal, and me. Could've done it without ya! 3

Basically, it's a list of complaints that Fiyero sends to Madame Morrible about Shiz. Shiz-era... obviously. Please review.


The Trouble With Your School

By Fiyero Tiggular

1. You always try to teach the wrong lessons. Not cool.

2. No strippers? Not cool.

3. The dress code forbids girls to wear skits higher than an inch above the knee? Not cool.

4. I have to share a dorm room. Not cool.

5. No lattes in the classrooms. Not cool.

6. No complimentary shoe shining. Not cool.

7. Shiz is hard to say with a sandwich in your mouth. Try it. Not cool, right?

8. Hot water in the showers is nonexistent. Not cool.

9. I specifically asked for a co-ed dorm. But all I got was Boq. Not cool.

10. These walls aren't even draped with vines. Not cool.

11. The teachers treat me like everyone else. Not cool.

12. The Wizard statue in the courtyard is big to properly vandalize. Not cool.

13. No on-campus tanning salon. Not cool.

14. No on-campus crown shining organization. So not cool.

15. Too many peasants... Not royals.

16. I can't have someone following me around all day to make me sandwiches? Not cool.

17. I have to wake up for class at 2PM. Not cool.

18. What are these "assignments" that people keep talking about? It wasn't in the handbook. Not cool.

19. Just kidding, I didn't read the handbook. They're not cool.

20. No pets. My three horses, two parrots, seven mice, six squirrels, and dog need me. Not cool.

21. There are no hair gel dispensers in all the bathrooms I regularly visit. Not cool.

22. Alcohol isn't allowed in the dorms. How am I supposed to pretend to study when I'm not even drunk? Not cool.

23. There's no on-campus tailor that is legally, medically, and fashionably qualified to tailor my vests. Not cool.

24. Classes are 45 minutes to an hour long? That's not nearly long enough for my naps. Not cool.

25. Not enough closet space. Not cool.

26. Doctor Dillamond was a pretty good professor, and he was important to a lot of students. Firing him was a mistake. Not cool at all.