Hey all! I'm Knifez (formally Knifez R Us). My goal is to write for your enjoyment! So this is my first story ever! A hopefully epic saga that will eliminate thirty six of all of our favorite Total Drama characters… So, please read and I hope you enjoy. Without further ado, I present to you:

Total Drama Chaos!

Chris McLean stood on the Dock of Shame, flashing his white, shiny grin. "Greetings to our viewers of Total Drama!" He smiled, "Welcome to our fifth season of Total Drama! TOTAL. DRAMA. CHAOS. This season, all of our previous contestants from Total Drama Island to Total Drama Revenge of the Island will be coming right here to Camp Wawnakawa, which is now free of radiation, thanks to yours truly." He winked at the camera.

"There will be challenges from previous seasons, new challenges, and even some virtual reality challenges; haha, I know a guy!" Another wink. "New antagonists will be revealed, relationships will crumble and form, but one thing will stay as perfect as always…me! Hahaha. Anyways, find out who will win and who will lose, right here, right now on Total! Drama! Chaos!

Theme song:

The camera zooms over the island, knocking over a disgruntled Chris. It flies towards Chef, who angrily knocks it aside, sending it flying up the hill, to where if flies into the water.

"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine."

The camera submerges into the water, where Owen is seen reclining with scuba gear on. He suddenly sits up in alarm, as he realizes he's crushed Cameron underneath him. As Owen panics, Bridgette swims down in lifeguard gear and scoops up Cameron. Swimming up to the surface, her head breaks the water, only have to have a piece of metal fall on her head from B's homemade hovercraft. He waves apologetically and Geoff cringes, leaping into the water to save them as Scott, also on board, chuckles.

"You guys are on my mind."

The camera zooms over to the forest, where Dawn and DJ are meditating. Suddenly, all the animals on Dawn attack DJ, causing him to run off camera as he screams in pain. Duncan, chuckling mischievously, hides a bottle of barbecue sauce in a bush before canoodling with Gwen. Courtney, nearby, rolls her eyes and stomps by the couple.

"You asked me what I wanted to be."

Courtney storms past the outhouse, which explodes as Cody is seen screaming, running away from Jo and spewing apologizes. Jo bellows at him as she chases him.

"And now I think the answer is plain to see!"

Cody is yanked behind the Mess Hall by a giggling Sierra as Jo runs by them. Brick, sitting on the front steps talking to Tyler, senses a challenge and runs after her. Tyler, annoyed by his lack of conversation, brightens up as Lindsay hugs him, pressing her enormous breasts into his face. As the two start to make out, the camera quickly moves into the Mess Hall.

"I wanna be...famous!"

In the Mess Hall, Katie, Sadie, Dakota and Anne Maria are gossiping about fashion at a table. Anne Maria disagrees with Katie and Sadie and sprays them with tan, and as the wonder twins leap on her Dakota chuckles, a glint in her eye. From another table Justin stares at the foursome, sighing dreamily.

"I want to live close to the sun..."

At the other end of the Mess Hall, Blaineley is looking sour as Beth drools over a picture of Brady. Blaineley sees the camera and grabs it, hurling it out of the window.

"So pack your bags, cause I've already won."

The camera flies into the river that leads to the waterfall. In a canoe, Mike and Zoey are looking at each with awe, until Izzy swings by on a vine, snatching up Zoey and carrying her off, knocking into Mike as she scoops her up. Mike, gasping in surprise, smirks at the receding duo before going over the waterfall. He lands on top of Harold, who is showing Eva how to do ninja martial arts.

"Everything to prove, nothing in my way."

The camera pans over to the dock, where Noah is seen reading on a lawn chair on the shore. He looks at the camera, smirking, before scowling as Alejandro and Heather sit next to him, cuddling.

"I'll get there some day."

LeShawna scowls at Heather from her lawn chair, before going back to reading her magazine. She then hits Staci in the face with it as she blabbers.

"Cause I wanna be famous! I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"

Sam is playing his video game on a raft in the water, with the game station flashing: "High score almost beat!". A shark moves to attack him, but Sam punches it back down. He then cheers as he beats his high score.

"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"

Trent is sitting with his legs dangling over the dock, strumming his guitar. He then yells in shock as the dock is lifted out of the water, revealing Lightning, who is using the dock as a weight.

*Whistling* I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous.

The camera looks towards the sun, where it fades into the moon as it fast-forwards into nighttime. All the campers are sitting around the campfire, when Ezekiel runs out of the woods, naked except for his underpants and wearing face paint. The campers all look startled and scared, before glaring at him. He chuckles, before joining them as they toast marshmallows.

The camera zooms out until you can see the sign near the entrance: Total Drama Chaos.

Chris, still on the dock, smiles his toothy grin at the camera. "Welcome viewers! It's time to meet our first nineteen contestants! First up, we have our authority loving bedwetter: Brick!"

Brick walked out of his boat and on to the dock, saluting Chris. "Private Brick McArthur, reporting for duty sir! Ready to compete in another season, sir!"

"Brick, good to see you again my man, have any plans on getting yourself eliminated again?" Chris asked impishly.

Brick frowned, dropping his salute. "No, I can't say that I do."

"That's what they all say," Chris said with a dismissive hand wave, "go sit in your lawn chair while I introduce the other contestants, okay?" Brick nodded and made his way off the dock, where thirty eight rather beat up looking lawn chairs were strewn.

"Are these safe?" Brick asked skeptically, prodding his lawn chair with the toe of his boot.

"Probably!" Chris exclaimed happily. "...not…haha! Oh look, here's out next contestant, B!"

B walked out of his boat and nodded at Chris.

"Welcome B! How have you been?"

B shrugged and made an "Okay" gesture with his hand.

Chris sniggered. "Cool, hoping to not get cheated out of a million bucks again?" B shot a dark look at Chris and walked over to find his seat with his name on it, not caring to hear Chris's explanation.

"Touchy, bro. What's eating you?" He asked the silent giant. B ignored him, but offered a high five to Brick, who happily accepted.

"This is gonna be a long season…" Chris grumbled, regaining his composure. "Alright, time for contestant number three, here's Harold!"

Harold, as geeky as ever, walked onto the dock and stood next to Chris. "Are those the new contestants from last season?" He asked, eyeing the two dudes with a calculating gaze.

"Yep!" Chris replied "Meet Brick and B! But you can do all your major introductions later, once everyone's here, so go sit!"

"Geeze, touchy…" Harold muttered as he walked over to his chair.

"That's my word!" Chris pouted, "And deal with it, we have a lot of contestant's and not a whole lot of time, so I have to keep things simple…besides!" He added, "Everyone already knows who you are."

"Mhmm." Harold nodded, still irritated.

Chris muttered something about ungrateful brats before continuing. "Well viewers, give a hand to ANOTHER nerd, our favorite video game addict, Sam!"

Sam walked out playing his video game, and stood over next to Chris.

"Hey Sam! You know I'm going to have to take this right?" Chris said as he yanked the game out of Sam's hand.

"NOOOO!" Sam howled, dropping to his knees and throwing his hands up in the air. He then got into the fetal position and started to cry.

"Sorry! But…not really." Chris laughed.

"Awww it's okay Sam, I'm here!" Said a high-pitched, girly voice.

Chris looked over to see Dakota, no longer a monster but with shorter blonde hair, run over to Sam and kneel beside him.

"Dakota!" Sam cried, reaching up towards his girlfriend, giving her a tight hug.

"Dakota!" Chris pouted, stomping his foot, "You weren't introduced! Why did you come out?"

"Well sorry Chris, I heard Sam was upset and I just had to make sure he was okay!" she exclaimed, turning her head away from the host.

"Aw thanks Dakota! You're the best!" Sam gushed.

"Okay! Enough! Get over there, you've already had way to much screen time!" Chris commanded, pointing over to the lawn chairs where the others were making idle, awkward small talk.

Sam and Dakota walked over to their chairs and sat down.

Chris grinned as the next boat pulled up, "Lets introduce our Cody stalker, Sierra!"

Sierra rushed out of the boat and started freaking out. "Oh my gosh! Hi guys! Is Cody here yet?!" She took in Brick, Dakota, Sam and B and her eyes bulged, "Oh wow, you guys must be the new contestants!" Sierra practically screamed, "hi! How are you!?" She took two deep breaths, "Oh my gosh this is so fantastic I can't even-"

"Ok that's enough, calm down and go sit!" Chris snapped. "I can't deal with all this annoying happiness!"

Sierra stalked over to her chair and shot a dirty look at Chris. "Way to ruin the fun, Chris. I was looking forward to this! I was only like, an eighth of the way through my introductory speech!"

The new contestants looked alarmed at this, while the older contestant's merely snorted.

Chris restrained himself from flipping her the bird before moving on to introduce the next contestant. "Hey Lindsay, how are you?"

Lindsay, as bubbly and blond as ever walked out onto the dock "Hi Craig! I'm so fetch, how are you? Is Tyler here yet? I miss him." Lindsay asked, a radiant smile on her face.

"It's Chr- oh I don't even care anymore, it's hopeless." Chris grumbled, "Just go sit over there." Lindsay walked over and sat on Heather's chair, not realizing they were named.

"Get out of my chair, you stupid bimbo!" A mean, annoyed voice said from the arriving boat. Heather walked out onto the dock, her hair back to normal and the same annoyed expression on her face.

"Oh, sorry Heather, which one is my seat?" Lindsay asked, examining the chairs closely.

Heather rolled here eyes and pointed to the seat with Lindsay's name on it. "Uh, that one. Duh!"

"Ooh gotcha…" Lindsay said as she sat down.

"Anyways, here's Heather. Isn't that nice? Yeah, not really….go sit over there." Chris said, pointing to Heather's seat and motioning for the raven haired teen to sit in it

"Gee thanks for the warm welcome," Heather said sarcastically as she walked over to her seat and sat down, eyeing the new contestants, "Ah, look at the fresh meat, can't wait to cook you newbies up!" She said viciously.

"With all due respect, ma'am, I wouldn't count us out." Brick smirked.

"Prove it." Heather snapped back.

"Haha, always loved her." Chris said, chuckling. "Ah ha, looks like our favorite lovable chicken has just entered the scene!"

DJ walked out, holding Bunny. "Yo Chris, how's it hanging, man?"

"Good DJ, my man, its hanging good." Chris grinned, "Good luck in the competition this time around, just try not to cheat this time, ok?" Chris laughed, as the other contestant's made disapproving sounds of the host's nasty remark.

DJ frowned, "Chris, that was three seasons ago! Get over it man!" said DJ as he walked over to his seat and sat down, still frowning.

Bunny growled at the host, alarming him. He recovered quickly, though.

"Haha, I love when I upset these guys!" Chris said with a sadistic laugh. "It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!" He chuckled some more. "Now, let's give it up for out favorite sarcastic know-it-all, Noah!" He welcomed the bookworm onto the island.

"Ah Chris, sadistic as ever I see," Noah said as he walked over the dock. He eyed the lawn chairs, "well well, looks like everybody's back for another season of pain and humiliation. What a great way to spend my summer."

"Oh shut it, you stupid egghead." Heather scoffed as she glared at Noah. "Your sarcastic attitude isn't going to get you far in this game."

Noah just smirked, "Ah Heather, I've missed the sound of your lilting voice. Oh, and FYI, you're not exactly the best person to give me advice or warnings on how to get along with people."

"As much as I love to see girl fights," Chris interrupted, smirking. "We're still on a time limit, so Noah, go over to your seat."

Noah just rolled his eyes, "Fine by me, Sherlock."

As Noah sat down, Katie and Sadie walked out of the next boat. Everyone immediately covered their ears. When they all saw that Katie and Sadie were just looking confused, they tentatively uncovered them.

"Did they become mute over the past four years?" Heather snaked.

"Naw," Katie chuckled. "We just decided to be more serious."

"Katie and I are here to win this time!" Sadie chimed in.

"Well, that was a big shocker, it might be that you'll have to watch out for those guys." Chris said, "hahaha, but I seriously doubt it." After sighing contentedly, he introduced the next contestant. "Ok guys, here's our favorite creepy, obsessed musician, Trent!"

"Real funny, Chris." Trent scowled as he walked out of the Dock. He shouldered by Chris without looking at him.

"What's got your goat, bro?" Chris teased, "Not looking forward to seeing Gwen and Duncan suck face?"

"Just shut it, man." Trent sighed. "I don't even want to be here."

"Well contracts are fun, aren't they," Chris snickered.

Another boat pulled up and Beth emerged and waved at the camera, "Hi guys! Everyone's back for another season! WOOHOO!"

"Hey Beth! How's my favorite farm girl? Took a leaf out of Owens book with that 'woohoo', I see." Chris said, greeting one of the more likable contestants on the show.

"Did someone say Owen!? THAT'S ME!" Came a voice from inside the next boat, which had only just arrived. The big lovable fatso came rushing out of the boat and picked up Chris in a bear hug. "WOOT! Hey guys how's it going? Is everybody back? Ooh, are these the news guys? Hey guys! Oh hey Noah!" Owen put down Chris and picked up Noah. "How's my little buddy!?"

Noah slowly turned blue, "I'm sorta choking, Owen." he squeaked.

"Ohh. Ha-ha, sorry about that dude." Owen laughed, putting Noah down. He then greeted the rest of the contestants.

"As for this next contestant...well he's basically a harlot! Yup, that's right, here's Duncan! " Duncan stalked out of the boat and pushed Chris off the dock. "Shove it McLean, I don't even want to hear it, I'm just waiting for Gwen to get here."

Trent rolled his eyes at that statement but said nothing.

Duncan noticed this. "Ha, you jealous Elvis?" Duncan snickered. "But really, did you really think you had a chance after you went psycho dur-"

He was interrupted by Trent. "Don't even try picking on me Duncan. I'm so over it."

"I know man, still fun to tease," Duncan said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Ha-ha-ha, drama already, I love it!" Chris snickered. "Ooh, and another person high on the drama list! Here comes everyone's favorite sister, LeShawna!"

LeShawna walked off the boat, noticed Heather, and said "Well if it ain't the spoiled little daddy's girl…"

"Oh shut up, you loud mouth ghetto girl," Heather scoffed. "Besides, didn't we do this whole thing, like, three seasons ago?"

"Doesn't change the fact that you're still up in my grill" LeShawna snapped.

"You started it, freak!"

"Oi, can it!" Duncan snarled, "I'm already getting a headache and I haven't been here five minutes."

"You taking her side?" LeShawna bristled. "Fine then, Duncan. Be that way."

"Hey! Don't get all depressed on me." Duncan said defensively. "I'm just trying to keep teeth in mouths, got it?"

She rolled her eyes and turned away from him, walking over to DJ and Beth and high-fifing them both. She also gave Harold a hug, all the while she was looking at the new contestants. "Don't ya'll be thinkin' that Ol' LeShawna'll be going easy on you because you're newbies, got it?" She said to them with a rather threatening tone in her voice.

Sam, B and the other newbie's nodded. While Brick said "Wouldn't want you to, Ma'am!"

"Good!" LeShawna smiled. "Then we should get along just fine!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," came an obnoxious voice from inside the newly arrived boat. Scott, somehow out of his robot suit but still heavily bruised and scarred, walked/limped out onto the dock. He had a malicious and furious expression on his face.

"You dweebs!" He yelled pointing at the new contestants, "You dweebs almost cost me my life, then you laughed at me! I'll make sure I make this season HELL for you, but especially that little red-headed freak. Where is she anyways?"

Some contestants looked shocked by his little freak out. Others, however, like Noah and Duncan, looked somewhat amused. There was silence until LeShawna spoke up. "Listen white boy, that 'tude of yours is gonna get you nowhere in this game, so I suggest you calm down and get over yourself."

Scott, unfazed, just rolled his eyes and replied; "Whatever, I don't take advice from fat people. ESPECIALLY if they're not even white."

Several gasps were heard throughout the crowd, and Heather chuckled to herself. "That's one less contestant I have to worry about."

"Oh no, no, no, you did NOT, I repeat NOT just say that!" LeShawna yelled at him. She pounced on him and started beating him up until a rough force yanked the two apart.

Everyone else was too busy watching the drama to notice the next contestant had arrived. Eva, who looked less angry then usual, pulled them both up and let them dust themselves off. LeShawna was still growling at Scott, who was sporting several minor injuries.

"Look guys, keep it civil until the challenge's begin, ok?" Eva grunted.

Scott, seeing how mad Eva could get on season 1, rolled his eyes and nodded.

LeShawna just brushed herself off and said: "Fine, whatever. But you're dead, ginger, you hear me?"

"Ok!" Chris interrupted, "That's out first nineteen contestants. The next nineteen will be re-introduced next episode, but until next time, I'm your amazingly handsome host, Chris McLean, and this has been the first episode of Total! Drama! Chaos!

(Unnamed team 1): N/A

(Unnamed Team 2): N/A

Elimination Order: N/A

I hope you guys enjoyed it! So, what do you think for my first story? Constructive criticism is appreciated! Chapter 2 will be up either later today or tomorrow, until then guys, Ciao!