Oh look, a CA fic! and I wrote it! this feels so foreign lol. but I wrote it and got it done, and if it doesn't flow I apologise. Read and review please! I'll love you forever! slightly AU! i guess, I got so sick of this horrible thing that seems to be happening to them this season... so I wrote a happy cook!fic haha


Joan Campbell grinned to herself as she licked the cake batter off of the wooden spoon she was holding as stared at the sink of dishes.

"I hope you kept me the bowl!" A deep male voice said, causing her to jump slightly before glaring at her husband, her hands going to hips and a pout forming on her face causing him to laugh.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you to announce yourself Arthur?" She asked, mock glaring at him.

"Oh, but where's the fun in that?" he asked winking at her causing her to grin against her better judgement.

"It's on the other bench" She said pointing to the servery opposite her with the wooden spoon.

Arthur chuckled. "I feel like I'm in some 50s movie, all you need now is pearls and a pair of heels, maybe an apron, you'd make a good housewife for then".

Joan shook her head "You know, I'm not that type of woman" she said walking in front of him to grab the tea towel.

Arthur grabbed her around the waist and pulled her to him, so she was flat against his chest "You know, there's only one woman that's my type these days" He said kissing her lightly.

"Oh, is there just?" She asked, laying the wooden spoon on the bench behind her and wrapping both arms around his neck before leaning into the kiss more to continue it.

"There is, she's smart and funny, and absolutely stunning" He replied pulling her closer and causing her to grin.

"I love you Arthur, but, I have cupcakes that need to come out of the oven soon, and I cannot afford to let them burn" She said, a wide smile crossing her lips, her tongue poking out slightly in a mocking manner towards him.

Arthur sighed "I never get it, we don't have kids, but you make such a huge batch of cupcakes it's like you're preparing to feed a whole class of kids" He said shaking his head in confusion.

Joan raised an eyebrow "That's where you're wrong; I have a whole department of kids, and you have a whole agency of kids under your watch" She responded as she pulled the cupcakes out of the oven.

"No, they're just people we have to by rights look after but usually end up doing something on their own accord". He said, sighing at the thought of everything that had happened.

Joan sighed softly as well "That's what kids do too Arthur, and I think you know as well as I do that we have two that may as well be our own by the amount of trouble they get into" She said, her voice soft and hinting with emotion.

"They're good kids though, always strive for the best" He said trying to brighten the mood as she turned to put the cupcakes on the wire rack to cool.

"They are good kids" She said allowing a small smile to grace her lips.

"Joan? Turn around" He said grabbing her attention, his finger meeting with her forehead and dragging a drop of cake batter down to the tip of her nose. "Now, you look delicious to me" He said laughing and causing her to giggle despite her best efforts, her hand colliding with his cheek, smearing cake batter across the side of his face.

"It's on now" She said trying her hardest not to giggle.

Arthur reached out and lightly gripped her arm with a batter covered hand smearing it across her upper arm. "It certainly is" He replied, his eyes narrowing playfully as he eyed her hungrily.

Joan stared at him for a moment before realising his intentions. "Don't, you dare, Arthur, heaven help me if you do" She said, her voice taking on a steely edge as she shook her head at him and attempted to distance herself from him.

"Do what?" He asked as he dragged the palm of his hand across the rim of the bowl, smearing the residual mixture across the palm of his hand "This?" He added planting a hand across her chest leaving a hand mark of cake mixture.

Joan narrowed her eyes at him as she responded "Yes, That, You are a dead man now" She said, her hands reaching for the bowl of icing she'd made up.

"No" He said unbelievingly.

"Yes" She said as she grabbed a handful of the chocolate flavoured icing and run after the man currently running out of the kitchen at a fast speed towards the living room.

"Joan, think about it, it's chocolate, it'll stain!" He said trying desperately to find a way to stop his wife hurling the chocolate dripping from her hands at him.

"And this won't? This dress was new Arthur, I'm not sure if you remember it from the other week seeing as it ended up on the floor pretty fast, but it's new and I quite like it and now; now I have cake mixture all over it thanks to you, and all over me!" She said in a stern voice.

"We can wash it, or get it dry cleaned honey, and you're dripping chocolate!" He said as he noticed the puddle of chocolate icing at her feet.

"And so are you" She responded throwing it at him, the chocolate mix hitting his left shoulder and splattering across the room.

Arthur stared at his shoulder and the mess for a moment before wiping his hand across the sticky mess and running at his wife grabbing her around the waist and pulling her to the floor with him, the icing smearing across her dress causing her to gasp in shock.

"Sorry" He tried, before moving his lips to hers and kissing her softly. "I can buy you a new one if you want" He said grinning as he wiped part of the mixture off her neck.

"It was the last one" She deadpanned causing him to grin wider.

"Anyone ever told you how hot you look when you're upset and covered in chocolate icing and cupcake mixture?" He asked causing her to narrow her eyes even more.

"You, can't worm your way out of this one mister" Joan replied, a resigned sigh following the words.

"I could try..." He said kissing her again, this time harder.

"I love you, but you're an ass sometimes" She said smiling as she flicked a finger across his cheek and licked the mix off her finger.

"I'm your loveable ass though" He responded, grinning into the kiss, his tongue skimming her lips with the intent to deepen it when the doorbell sounded.

Joan sighed.

"Were you expecting someone?" He asked puzzled.

"Not that I know of" Joan said shaking her head, before pushing herself up off the ground. "I'm just going to hope it's not a politician of some sort here to greet us with their presence whilst we look like this" She said bluntly.

"I'll get it, I'm the one with the lesser damage; it's probably a sales rep or something" He said hopefully, walking towards the door as Joan tried to straighten her clothes as well as she could.

"Annie? And Auggie?" He asked as he opened the door to the two operatives.

"Um, did we catch you at a bad time?" Annie asked hesitantly as she took in the current state of Arthur and the blonde that had just appeared beside him.

"No, not at all Annie" Joan said with a sudden cheerfulness that caused Auggie to pipe up.

"Is that vanilla butter cake I smell?" He asked, a large grin crossing his face.

"It sure is; I baked cupcakes earlier" Joan said smiling.

"No, I smell the mixture, as well as the cupcakes, but the mixture is stronger... here? Why?" He asked curiously.

Annie coughed unsure of how to say that their bosses were covered in the cake mix and what looked to be chocolate icing, but as if it'd been on purpose judging by the hand shaped print of batter that was hardening on the front of Joan's dress, Annie could only imagine, and frankly she thought to herself, she wasn't sure if she wanted to imagine what might have happened.

"Oh. That was Arthur, managed to destroy my dress and half my house with cake batter within a matter of moments" She said before turning around and walking towards the kitchen. "Come in, you can tell us why you're here and you can both have a cooked cupcake" She said glaring at her husband causing Annie to muffle a giggle almost.

"I take it's bad?" Auggie muttered to her under his breath.

"Cake batter everywhere" Annie whispered as they walked into the house.


Reviews are loved :)