I know I have 3 other stories that need updates and I promise at least two will be updated soon, but I heard this song and immediately knew I had to write a one-shot about it! Now I'm not sure if any others have been written about it but it was too hilarious to pass up. That being said I HAVE changed up some lyrics to make it more hilarious.

Summary: Adrian and Rose were married, she found out he'd been cheating so she left. She's moved on but, what happens when she goes out to a karaoke club with Lissa and friends and Adrian shows up? What happens with her and the sexy Russian bartender?

"Sparky! Can you quit eating my best friends face for two seconds?" I said making a disgusted face as I watched Christian and Lissa making out for the hundredth time tonight.

"Aw are you jealous Rosie?" he asked pulling away.

"Ew in your dreams!" I said putting my finger in my mouth pretending to throw up.

"I'm going to get some drinks…Mase you owe me a round later!" I said referring to the bet I'd made about how many times Christian and Liss would make out. I walked over to the bar. The bartender was sex on legs, he was insanely hot with Brown shoulder length hair pulled back in a low ponytail but wisps of hair were falling out, and chocolate brown eyes that I could drown in and die blissfully. Fortunately I, Rose Hathaway, can keep my cool around insanely hot guys and stopped myself from drooling.

I knew his name was Dimitri from the few times I'd been here and flirted with him before. Lucky for me he was busy so I got to stare at him for a minute or two.

"Rose, can you quit staring at my awesomely good looks?" he asked without even glancing my way.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about Comrade," I said playing innocent amazed that he could tell without even looking up.

"Yea right Rose. Just admit it. It's ok to admire sexy things," he said jokingly.

"Someone's not conceited at all!" I said sarcastically. "Plus I've seen better," I lied.

"Oh yea?" he challenged. I knew if I kept playing along I would rat myself out (even though he already knew I was lying). I'm not sure why since we've only met a few times but, Dimitri could see right through most of my lies and always knew when I tried. It's actually kind of embarrassing because he was the unfortunate bartender that had to deal with me when I found out Adrian had been cheating and decided to go drown myself in a bottle of whiskey at the nearest bar I could find but, ever since we've been kind of friends and have now progressed into full on flirting.

"While we're standing here, think you could do your job and get me a shot?" I asked batting my eyelashes playfully.

"Ah Roza, you're going to be the death of me if you keep looking at me like that," he said grabbing a shot glass and pouring.

"It's my job comrade!" I said with and innocent smile. He put the shot in front of me, and I grabbed it downing it quickly.

"Can you quit calling me that?" he asked pretending to be annoyed. I stood p on my tip toes and leaned towards him, my lips almost touching his ear (he of course had to bend down to help out since he's so freaking tall).

"You know you love it! Just as much as I'd love to see you in a military uniform in my bedroom" I whispered in his ear seductively. I saw him involuntarily shiver just a tad and smirked. He pulled back and looked at me with quite a bit of emotion in his eyes.

"What I know is that your drunk Hathaway,"

"I'm not that drunk…Tipsy? Maybe. Drunk? Working on that." I said with a grin. "Don't you have other customers to attend?" At that he hurried off to the next person looking back and winking at me. I went to turn around and walk back to my table when I realized I forgot to order and actual drink so I sat there waiting. Not a minute later though somebody sat down beside me. I could smell clove cigarettes and Vodka and immediately knew who it was. I decided to just ignore him and maybe he'd go away. Unfortunately, luck was not on my side.

"Hey Little wifey….little ex-wifey?" he said confused and already drunk, something not uncommon for him except when we were together.

"What Adrian?" I asked still not looking at him.

"I just wanted to come say hi and see how you were," he said faking innocence.

"Hi, I'm fine. Now can you leave?"

"What you're not going to ask me how I'm doing? We were married once you know."

"How could I forget? Plus you're the one that cheated on me with my bestfriend! So sorry if I'm not very chatty." I smarted off.

"Can't you ever forgive me? I told you I was sorry!"

"Adrian I forgave you a long time ago, doesn't mean I have to talk to you. Well I do have one question for you. How are you and your new skank doing?" at that his face fell a little. "Oh so not so good? I'm so sorry to hear that!"

About that time Dimitri walked back over.

"Who's your new friend here Rose?" he asked glaring at Adrian, I almost wanted to laugh at the stare down.

"This is my ex-husband, Adrian." I said giving Dimitri a small knowing smile.

"Oh," he said. "So you're the idiot who screwed things up with Rose."

"Who are you?" Adrian asked getting pissed off.

"I'm Dimitri, the new boyfriend." He said winking at me, telling me to play along. Adrian turned to me and smirked.

"What couldn't find anyone good in the states so you went to foreigners?"he said with a laugh.

"Well you know what they say about Russians," I said with a smile and a shrug. "I feel like I should go sing now."

I walked over to the karaoke stage and grabbed a guitar.

"Hey everyone, my name's Rose and I wrote this about my ex Adrian. Hope you all like it."

Got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend

I looked at Adrian, his eyes were as big as saucers, and he was choking on his drink while Dimitri was looking at me with a grin. Dimitri never knew that Adrian had cheated on me with a guy and Adrian had never fully came out of the closet…just me and his boyfriend know…well the whole bar now too.

Took his ring off my finger, gave him back his last name
So don't judge me, I'm doing the best I can
Got a damn good reason for this drink in my hand
Got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend
No I didn't see it coming, he was sly as can be
I was crying on his shoulder, he was cheating on me
He never let on that it was him stealing his love
But I wised up
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend
Good riddance to 'em both, I really don't need them
I was working two jobs, they were fooling around
Crossed my mind to put 'em six feet in the ground
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guyfriend
Trust may be something that I live without
It's gonna take a while to remove my doubt
But everyone around you at some point will let you down
That's how I feel now
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend

Now I heard it through the grapevine, he's tired of him
Guess they're finally getting what they deserve
The last time I saw him he had the nerve to hit on me
How sleazy can you be?
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend
Took his ring off my finger, gave him back his last name
So don't judge me, I'm doing the best I can
I've got a damn good reason for this drink in my hand
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend
I got an ex-old man and an ex-best guy friend

By the time I was done I was laughing way too hard. The look on Adrian's face was priceless. I walked over to the bar and pulled Dimitri towards me.

"So since it's almost closing, why don't you let Ivan over there run the bar ad me and you escape this joint?" I said in his ear. He stood up and smirked at me.

"Sounds good, let me go tell Ivan." He said walking away. I went over to where Adria was still standing in shock.

"Oh by the way, Dimitri's ten times better in bed than you ever were…" I whispered in his ear then pulled back. "Oh give tell Jesse I said hey!"

I turned and walked to find Dimitri just walking out from behind the bar.

"So where are we off too?" he asked.

"Well I've got a few theories that need testing," I said looking at him seductively. He just groaned and pulled me towards his car.