Lost In Your Arms
Summary: When all is lost, Sarah Jane finds the answer. At the greatest of costs. One-shot, not related to any other of my other stories.
/AN/: This songfic, written in tribute to the late and great Elisabeth Sladen. In my mind, this is what I think would happen. But first: some background knowledge. The song I used is called 'A Little Bit Of Rain' from Les Miserables. I suggest you have a listen on YouTube the link is here: ( watch?v=NyfS55_W_A8&playnext=1&list=PL6680E10F7CAEAE81&feature=results_video) . I have changed the lyrics slightly ( a lot at the beginning) to fit the story more, like the names. Llllllll - The Doctor singing Llllllll - Sarah Jane singing.(PLEASE READ, NEEDED FOR STORY) This is only a oneshot and I will not be expanding this (if anyone else would like to take this up they are completely welcome to). I only say this as I cannot figure out how the story would actually get to this point. However, I have some vague ideas: I would imagine some massive invasion that no one could handle on their own so all characters (including all NuWho companions and it's the tenth doctor here not the eleventh, not quite sure why but it's the one I picture) would be needed to save the world; at some point the group realise they need a certain person/object to save the world but it's in dangerous territory (or something?) so whoever went would probably die or at least get hurt. But as they argue about who will go and sacrifice their life, the object/person turns up interepting their argument…
"I'm going! No arguments!" At this everyone involved in the conversation (if you could call it that) looked at the Doctor in horror and plain defiance. There was no way they would let him do it! "I'm the eldest, I've lived the longest and I have more of chance of survival. If I get shot, I might regenerate. None of you can. Therefore, logically I should go-"
"No! I will not let you die! Like you said, you might. It's not certain! I'm not taking that chance!" Martha knew how important The Doctor was. Not just to this group, but to the whole universe.
"Yeah, Doc, Nightingale's right. You're too important for the risk." Jack had to back Martha up, the universe could not lose the Doctor, not like this. However, The Doctor was getting impatient. They were running out of time! He could've got there and back with the time they had wasted arguing.
"Well, what else do you suggest, Jack?! We don't have much time left before the Terrians attack and we need that Oscillator! And before you say it-no you're not going in my place!" Jack's face contorted into one of anger at the Doctor's outburst.
"But I have 100% chance of survival! Even if they catch me, it's nothing I haven't been through before! Because, let's face it, no one else here can take that sort of punishment!"
Whilst this was going on, Luke was observing the group. He watched everyone's reactions. From The Doctor's. to Martha's, to Torchwood's, to Jo and Santiago's, to Rose's. It was interesting to see everyone put themselves forward. It made you proud to be human. However, Luke wanted to put himself forward as well, the only reason he didn't was because he knew his mum wouldn't be able to cope with him getting hurt. Because he knew her, he knew his mum more than anyone else in the universe. Luke's observation skills were second to none: so he saw Mickey's increasing panic at the thought of Martha going and Rose's desperate tears. Back to reactions, Luke was back to looking around the group. From the Ponds', to Donna's and the Noble's, to UNIT's, to his best friends', to his girlfriends', to his sister's (Sky). And that's when the realisation hit him hard in the gut. Sheer panic rose I his throat like the rising waves of a tsunami. It settled in the bottom of his stomach like a lead weight.
"Ok, stop! Let's think through this logically. We can rule the kids out straight away." This statement from River caused the teens to spark up a protest which was quickly put out by all the adults. However, Luke just stood still, oblivious to what was happening around him, saying nothing. Once the teens were quietened down, River continued,
"Mum and Dad: you're staying here." Another short protest. "So are Martha and Mickey, your skills are too important to the group. I reckon, it's between us three: You, me and Jack." This was said towards the Doctor. But Amy didn't like what she was hearing.
"River, you're not going either! I'm not letting you put yourself in danger like that!" Rory stepped up to stand next to Amy,
"You're mother's right, Melody" With the use of her real name, River's whole demeanour changed, for her parents only use her real name when they were serious. "As your father, I ask you to stay. I don't know what we would do if you got hurt." A moment of silence fell, whilst River chewed over just what her parents were saying.
"…Okay. I won't go." She turned around to look expectantly at the Doctor and Jack, just like the rest of the group: except for Luke.
Jack looked at the Doctor, as the Doctor, in turn, looked at Jack. They stared at one another for a moment before shouting their point of view across to the other. The argument got so heated, the two men ended up spitting venomous remarks in each other's facing. Finally, the 'debate' came to its climax with both men shouting,
"Will you stop with this madness!" A slightly strained voice, accompanied with a slight chuckle, came from behind them, breaking the fuming men from their stand off to look at the owner. What met their stares startled them, and the rest of the group, into a stunned silence. "You're starting to sound like an old married couple." Another chuckle, worryingly strained. No-one could believe their eyes. For, stood in front of them, was Sarah Jane: fitting the oscillator into the complicated machinery. She slid the precious cargo into place and then proceeded to press various buttons and pull levers: like she knew what she was doing. All the while, having all eyes looking at her, trying to work out how she had retrieved the oscillator and still appeared to be unscathed.
However, just as Sarah Jane was mid-flow: she faltered. Face screwing up slightly in pain, body jerking, doubling over, hand flying to lightly hold her stomach, voice letting out a small cry.
"Ah!" It only lasted a split second, but was enough to leave her panting slightly, staring back at a crowd of worried faces. "I-I'm ok, I'm fine. Just got elbowed, that's all." She quickly reassured her group of close friends, who almost missed the wave of pain. The Doctor knew what she had done, but didn't quite know of the consequences of her actions just yet.
"You got it." Clyde was the first to break the silence with his talented skill of stating the obvious. However, this remark quickly earned him a dazzling smile in return.
"Uh… yep! Took a while, but… um… yeah. All done and dusted. Crisis over. Now we have the oscillator, we can stop them… right?" Sarah Jane looked to The Doctor for reassurance on this fact. But his face remained bleak. After a long hard look at Sarah, he answered and addressed the group.
"Yeah, yeah. It's fine now. Weeell… pretty much. We still need to use the oscillator and even then, they'll probably put up a bit of a fight. So…" Here he looked back at Sarah Jane, just in time to see her bend slightly in what looked like immense agony. However, she quickly recovered and hid whatever was going on. "…we're not completely out of the woods just yet. But, it's looking up now we have the oscillator. Sarah Jane saves the day, again." Everyone could hear the barely concealed anger burning within The Doctor. A tension grew as everyone caught on to the situation.
"At least it's done. We can stop this now." Sarah Jane's eyes fell on her children. Her son and daughter. She still couldn't believe it, not even now, that she had been blessed with them after so many years of loneliness. "Everything's going to be ok." Those words that sounded so simple, yet felt so heavy with meaning and finality. "Now, shall we act like adults again or are we going to continue squabbling like children?" Her infectious smile was reassuring to the whole group, especially to her children: but not the Doctor. Because, to the jealousy of the teens, he knew her more than anyone in the universe. He knew she was hiding something: something big. And, her attempt to cover it with humour angered him.
The Doctor's anger just blew up as she winked at the teens. "Oh for God's sake Sarah!" His outburst startled everybody, except strangely for Sarah Jane. She looked at him expectantly, as if she was waiting for this. "How can you joke? Do you have any idea what you could've done to yourself?!" Everyone just stared at him, not understanding the reason for his outburst. However, Sarah Jane's expression turned to one of understanding, whilst her eyes filled with a sadness so powerful, it hurt.
Dear God, what are you doing,
Sarah Jane, have you no fear?
The Doctor broke into song to release his frustrations at the situation. He walked up to Sarah to look her in the eye.
Why on Earth would you do this, (A/N: Like I said, I have changed the lyrics slightly.)
Why have you come back here?
Sarah Jane looked about ready to cry, but held it back as long as she could. She focused on The Doctor's face, because if she just glanced at the kids now, she would lose it.
I got the machine, just like you said,
I found it on the attic floor,
I might of saved the world,
But I don't think I can stand anymore.
Sarah Jane collapsed into The Doctor's arms as her voice shook and caught on the last sentence. The whole group looked on completely stunned and feeling utterly useless. Martha and Rory went to run to the pair, but were stopped. By River.
There's something wet upon your hair
The Doctor reached out towards Sarah's hair as he sees it matted with something. When he withdraws his hand, his fingers turn red. His eyes followed his hand down to the coat she had wrapped tightly around her since she reappeared. He ripped it open to reveal a nasty gunshot wound to Sarah's stomach. The group gasped in horror as they saw the injury. Again, Martha and Rory were stopped from helping by a near sobbing River.
You're hurt, you need some help,
Oh God, it's everywhere
As The Doctor reached out to tenderly touch the wound to check if it was real or his imagination, Sarah Jane grabbed his hand mid-air and gripped it in a vice-like grip. Her face broke into a soft, sad smile: trying to bring a little comfort to the man she loved.
Don't you fret, my dear Doctor,
I don't feel any pain,
She let go of the Doctor's hand to pull to coat shut and tight against her, to hide the terrifying wound from her loved ones. She looked up again at The Doctor and saw sheer panic and fear in his eyes, and she wanted more than anything right then to take away that look. So, she fell back on her on her memories and came up with the saying they both used when they were younger to cheer themselves up.
A little fall of rain,
Can hardly hurt me now.
A ghost of a smile lit The Doctor's face as Sarah's hand came up to rest on his check, framing his face. All she wanted to do was take away his pain.
You're here, that's all I need to know
And you will keep me safe,
And you will keep me close,
And the rain, will make the flowers grow.
The Doctor moved to sit behind Sarah, so she would be more comfortable until help got to her, because he knew help would be coming, it had to be. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly and never letting her go. Denial washed over The Doctor like a tidal wave claims a beach.
But you will live, Sarah, dear God above
If I could close your wounds with words of love
The Doctor sat there stroking Sarah's hair as she moved to sit up. Sarah clung to The Doctor's arm as she nuzzled his shoulder.
Just hold me now and let it be,
Shelter me, comfort me
Sarah let out a sigh of complete content and happiness, as a smile of pure joy at being in The Doctor's arms at last. She could feel him stroke and nuzzle her hair. She could hardly breathe, but she didn't know whether that was the pain or how tight The Doctor was holding onto her.
You would live a hundred year
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now
Rain can't hurt me now
Tears cascaded down The Doctor's face, he knew she had resigned herself to dying, but no one was going to let that happen. Not to her, his Sarah Jane.
This rain, will wash away what's past
And you will keep me safe
And you will keep me close
I'll sleep in your embrace at last
Anger, fear and heartbreak stuck his heart as Sarah reveal her ultimatum. He couldn't believe what she had said. Sarah began to break away and reach out to the kids, but he knew she should stay still. He tried to pull her back down and she collapsed into his lap, now too weak to sit up. Sarah was near hysterics.
The rain that brings you here
Is heaven blessed
The skies begin to clear
And I'm at rest
The Doctor is full on crying now as he looked down into Sarah's eyes and as she caressed his face again. She had a sad but bittersweet smile on her face, as if she was accepting her fate. This was when the denial began to recede again as he finally realised that help wasn't coming-why wasn't help coming?
A breath away from where you are
I've come home from so far AH!
Sarah cried out in pain as she jumped and clutched The Doctor's shoulders. A few tears escaped and found their way down her face.
"No, ,no, no!" She muttered under her breath, this couldn't end now, not yet, it's too soon. The Doctor's hearts were ripped into bits as he watched the love of his life suffer like this. What he would give to take it all away. Each laboured breath she took, cost her precious energy. Energy she could be using better. It was The Doctor this time was the one to bring comfort. With Sarah adding her own little comforts.
Hush-a-bye, dear Sarah Jane
So don't you fret, my dear Doctor
Now singing gently together, The Doctor and his Sarah Jane comforted each other as much as they could with their deep love. The Doctor stroking Sarah's hair, as he now accepted the fate.
You won't feel any pain
I don't feel any pain
A little fall of rain
A little fall of rain
Can hardly hurt you now
Can hardly hurt me NOW!
Again, the wall of pain hit, taking complete control over her body as it spasmed slightly. A few more tears joined the others, she was close now. Everyone she ever loved came crashing through her mind. Her thoughts kept returning to ones she'll leave behind: Clyde, Rani, Luke, Sky. The Doctor.
The Doctor held Sarah closer and kissed her forehead. He wanted to do more before it was too late, but she was too weak. It was too late.
That's all I need to know
She could feel herself slipping away. Her time has come, and ,weirdly, she was ok with it. She was in The Doctor's arms, she was ready to go.
I will stay with you
And you will keep me safe
Til you are sleeping
And you will keep me close
By now, Sarah's voice was fading as their heads leaned in closer for a kiss. Her eyes fluttered shut as she awaited the kiss that would end her life. As their lips grew closer, their words got softer. However, Sarah's voice was nearly gone.
And the rain…
And the rain…
Will make the flowers…
Make the flowers…
Their lips met, creating an exploding supernova within their minds. Everything, that ever happened between them, suddenly made sense. Their life had been fulfilled, they were complete. A sudden sense of euphoria flowed through them, giving them a warm feel. Both of them had kissed and been kissed before, but nothing like this. This was something new and wonderful, and all too soon, over. As, as The Doctor's tongue slid against Sarah's, her world went black.
Suddenly, Sarah's body went limp as her hand fell from The Doctor's face to lie still on the floor. Her whole body was devoid of life and movement. Hanging limp in The Doctor's arms. As Sarah's lips eased off of his, he muttered the last word,
"Grow. Sarah?" He shook her slightly, desperately looking for any signs of life. He found none. "Sarah Jane!" Tears run down The Doctor's face, splashing and soaking Sarah's clothes. "No! No." Sobs raked his body. "Noooooo!" Agonising screams filled the air as The Doctor sat there, cradling Sarah's body, rocking her like a small child.
A stunned silence suffocated the group of devastated on-lookers. The teens clutched each other as tears soaked their faces. Luke clung to his little sister, not being able to tear their eyes away from their mother's body. Martha and Rory looked angry, with themselves and River.
The Doctor was still in hysterics over Sarah's body. He kissed her again, on the lips, forehead, everywhere. He couldn't let her go. The others left to give him some time alone. Just them now. He bent down to whisper in Sarah's ear,
"Don't leave me, Sarah, please. I love you, Sarah Jane Smith." He didn't see River silently watching them from a distance. She watched the couple: together, as it's always been.
The Doctor and his Sarah Jane.
/AN/: RIP Elisabeth Sladen, you were amazing! Never forgotten!