I ran as fast as i could but it felt endless. My legs were numb, my eyes were watering from the cold night air whipping past them. My stomach was empty and i was covered in my own blood. I shivered under the bright full moon, i shivered at his fist.
Every night when i strip the clothes off my body and wash off my make up, all i see are bruises. Almost everywhere. I have to cover my arms and ankles with makeup so people wouldn't ask me.
I felt like i wanted to crumble in the darkness. Since i was 7 years old, i never once cried from him abusing me, because i thought maybe he had a good reason for it. In fact, i thought him abusing me, made me stronger. I learned to dodge his blows, which weren't very accurate. I could fight, but i chose not to hit him. He's my father, after all. I still had that little spark of hope inside me, that one day, he will apologize for his wrong doings. That day hasn't come.. Yet.
Every night was the same routine. Papa got drunk, hits me, then blacks out, leaving me to clean everything that his fists broke. Then i would carry him to his room and tuck him into bed. Sometimes he would wake up while i carried him and punched me in the stomach before blacking out again, but i learned to dodge those too.
But on this night, something went terribly wrong. I don't know what got into papa, but he had hired some men to beat me too. Not just some, a lot. He said that 'it was for my own good', whatever that meant.
There were about 10 of them, they cornered me into my own room and tried to take off my clothes. I struggled and struggled, until papa got annoyed and slammed my head toward the ground. I could feel the warm blood drizzle down the side of my face.
Now, i could fight, better than any boy.. But i couldn't with 10 very buff men.
All the others joined in, and i was helpless, again. But somehow, i managed to shatter the window with papa's cane that he gave me when i was 3. But that was before mama was dead. The window glass, i realized, shattered all over the men my papa hired, causing cuts and bruises.
They grunted, reaching blindingly to grab me. Papa was the only one that didn't get hit by my blow. He started to stumble over all the men and catch me but it was too late.
I took that chance to climb out of my bedroom window. Now all i had to do was run. But, they caught up eventually and kicked and punched me some more, banging me onto the cobble stoned ground a couple times, but i was still conscious, the third time, it just felt numb, i didn't feel anything.
But at least my brain was still functioning, because it told me to run like hell, and i did. I picked my ass up and ran even when i knew it was safe.
I ran across what looked like the Brooklyn bridge and kept it up until i tripped over a rock. Somewhere inside told me.. That i was free. But the other part told me, not for long.
My vision began to blur, and all the buildings and the feet under me kept going in circles. At that moment, i blacked out, hitting my head, and helpless body onto the more softer gravel ground.
I heard shouts coming from every direction. My head was pounding and.. "Oh shit!" i got up with a start. Looking around, i expected to see my room a mess, but i wasn't in my room. I was in.. Well i don't know where i was.
I squeezed my eyes shut, thinking this was a dream. How did i survive? What happened last night? And then i remembered. My head was hurting too much for me to think anymore so i just sat there with my eyes closed.
"Are yah just gonna sit with yah eyes closed all day, or are yah gonna thank me?" i slowly, but barely opened my eyes. The sun shone through the window beside me which wasn't at all what i expected. Neither were all these boys eyeing me.
I started to breath harder and harder. "Did he hire you?" i said cautiously. I couldn't be too sure because he did it last night. I acted like a lost and scared dog trying to find my home.
I quickly grabbed the blanket that was on top of me, holding onto it tightly, hands sweating, and wrapped it around my cold body for any protection, at all. All of the boys were in suspenders and button up plaid shirts, most didn't have much clothing on, leading me to believe.. I moved back against the wall i was laying on, but i couldn't get far away enough. What did they do to me last night?
"Nobody hioed nobody, sweetheart." i looked to the boy standing infront of the sunlight. I could barely make out his face, but i snapped, nobody calls me 'sweetheart' "Don't call me that." i retorted quickly.
After adjusting to the light, i realized that his amused face turned into anger. His eyes turned from a sparkling blue into a sharp grey in a matter of seconds and his lips were pulled into a straight line.
"What?" he said rather harshly. "Listen goilie, nobody tells Spot Conlon what to do but Spot Conlon." he relaxed his face just a bit. "Anyway, aren't yah gonna thank me?"
My eyes were full of curiosity and i may have looked like a lost little girl looking for her mommy. Him, taking the hint that i didn't know what the hell he was talking about, filled me in.
"Yoah not gonna thank the guy who saved yah? From me doity streets of Brooklyn?" my eyes widened and i felt a little light headed. I felt a rush of relief wash over me like a wave washing over the ocean.
I let out a shaky breath. "So.. I'm.. Al.. ive?" he nodded his head, not breaking any emotion in his face. I raised my hand to my head where i was hit countless times and felt wrappings over it. There were a lot of bruises from where i fell, on my arms and legs, my stomach and chest, i could feel them thumping and forming on my skin.
Now my eyes were totally open and i was alert. "Excuse me.. Um, do you.. By chance, have a washroom?" he nodded his head at the door, farthest from where all the boys were hovering over my bed. They all looked so big and built, so.. intimidating. "Take a right and it's the farthest door on the left."
My heart pounded in my ears as all of them cleared a path for me. I kept my head up because it would show that i was in fact, fine. All the boys threw me looks of awe, curiosity, and most just looked tired.
My walking wasn't in a straight line, but at least i made it to the door and right after i closed it, i heard russels of feet and whispers. "Did yah heah her? He didn't even soak her!" I laughed because if he put a finger on me, i would kick him in the groin.
Now that i thought about it, he was kind of.. cute.. No, hot. My cheeks burned red as i thought of his shirt being unbuttoned enough to show his strong chest. He looked skinny, yet strong, he definitely did not look like a guy to mess with. Though if he crosses me, then he'll have to deal with me. His eyes were a sparkling blue, but as soon as i opened my worthless mouth, his eyes turned a hard grey. He was a nice tan and held a cane with a golden tip.
Now why would he, of anybody be holding a cane? I also caught sight of his slingshot hanging off from his back pocket of his brown pants, which were held up by his red suspenders, tucked in with a blue plaid button up shirt.
I splashed my face with water and just stood there viewing myself in the mirror. I was covered in my own dry blood that led down from my chest and down my arms. My dress was covered in dirt and mud. I took it off, determined to clean the dress, and my body.
I pumped water into the tub and tried to scrub the grub off my dress, after 5 minutes the dress was good as new, kind of. I kept it out to dry and just wore my underdress that i always wore, just in case of emergency.
It trapped the heat in and made me sweat a lot, but it was for more protection for when papa hit me. But it didn't help much anyways. I got to wipe the blood off my skin and forehead.
My blonde hair had little bits of dirt mixed with blood, so i had to clean that off to. And after a good 25 minutes, i was as good as new, despite the cuts and bruises forming on my chest and all over my arms and legs. I used the red blanket i had brought with me to the bathroom to wrap around my still cold body.
As soon as i opened the door, i ran into a wall, though i was sure that wasn't there before. I looked up and came eye to eye with my 'knight in shining armor'. "Sorry.. Um... Spot." he looked down at me, amused, the way he looked when i first woke up.
"Nice dress." i looked down at the new 'dress' (the blanket i had wrapped around me) i created and shrugged "thanks. I made it myself." i remarked sarcastically in which he smirked, his blue eyes twinkling. "i nevah met a goil who was so eagah to keep me favorite blanket as a memory."
I didn't find it so amusing. I didn't know where the hell i was, Spot was getting on my nerves, and i was hungry and cold. "I'm sorry, but do you want me to freeze to death? Fine, here you go." I threw the blanket at his open hands. He raised an eyebrow, clearly getting a bit irritated with me.
"Listen, goilie, i saved you from a couple moments of yoah own death. I put those bandages on yoah head. I could've easily stepped ovah yoah close to dead body and walked straight up to my room and had a good nights sleep. So yah shouldn't be apologizing, yeh should be thankin'."
I looked him straight in the eye and said "I won't thank someone who acts all high and mighty for saving my ass." and walked away. But didn't get far, because he followed me, grabbed my wrist rather harshly before i took my first step down the stairs and pushed me into a private room.
"Let go!" i pulled away when he loosened his grip. "What did yah say?" i stood tall and looked him in the eye again. "I said-" his jaw clenched and everything happened so fast.
He threw a punch, i thought was aiming at my face, but instead punched the wall, right next to my face. "I don't take disrespectin' me so easily, doll." I flinched a little, out of reflex.
My heart was pounding, and i could see the fire fuming in his eyes, but i didn't take mine off of them, i kept on my irritated facade so that it wouldn't show that i was weak. "Don't call me 'doll' " he smirked and let out a scoff.
"Yoah just don't know when to shut up, now, do yah?" his body was lightly brushing mine, and both of his arms were on either side of my head. I still didn't move, or take my eyes off of his.
He craned my neck and lightly brushed it with his lips. I let out a surprised breath. Then he made a line of kisses from my neck up to my jawline then ever so slightly breathed into my mouth, which i slightly had ajar.
His breath tasted like cigarettes with a hint of alcohol. My heart was beating so fast, i swear he could hear it too.
I know he was staring at me, my hair was covering my face, and i wanted to keep it that way when i opened the door beside me and closed it just as fast as that almost- kiss happened, leaving Spot, smirking, inside that room, alone.
"Hey!" a boy said as i quickly brushed by. I gave him a polite nod and walked out the door into the bright sunlight, where not much was going on. It was probably only 6 in the morning if i'm not mistaken, and Spot had the nerve!
Right when i woke up, he had those eyes, like he was intimidating me, but not like his boys intimidated me, they were just really tall and buff, they didn't have those eyes. Spot's eyes.. It's like he was telling me you're weak.
"HOW COULD HE?!" i blew hair away from my face and stormed down to the dock where i walked back and forth, murmuring angrily to myself. "THAT DAMN- GAH!" i picked up a rock and threw it at the distance, pretending it was Spot's head.
How could i not be mad? I mean, he almost gave me my first kiss! I would most certainly not have him be the first to kiss me. I wanted my first kiss to be with someone special, someone that i loved.
Someone that i already spent a lot of time getting to know, someone- "NOT SPOT FUCKING CONLON!" i yelled at the top of my lungs. But regretted it quickly when i saw two boys shadowing me. Praying to God one of them wasn't Spot, i turned around slowly.
"Well hey der doll face-" i don't tolerate all these boys calling me that. "DON'T CALL ME THAT." i said very harshly. Though i know i only met him, i still felt weary around him. He was wearing a bowler hat, a not very nice black suit, it kind of looked worn out, and was only a half an inch taller then me.
The other guy next to him looked the same except he had little prickles on his upper lip, i guess people would call a mustache. They both looked amused, which was the last straw because Spot already gave me amused looks, and it gets annoying after the 2nd time.
"Oh, come on doll. Why don't you come play with us? Tell us why 'Spot fucking Conlon' is bothering you?" now call me 'doll' twice, right after i told them not to call me that, is like unleashing a tiger from it's cage.
I pounced on the shorter one because he was the closest and pulled at his hair and his bowler hat fell off his head. "Oh, you like to play dirty now don't you?" he lifted me up with the slightest waver of his arms and threw me to the ground, probably leaving a bruise on my back again.
Though, i wasn't phased. He threw a punch at my face which i dodged by rolling to my right where i came contact with shoes, which i saw were the taller guys. I yanked on his pants and it came all down, leaving him only his heart shaped underwear.
"Why you-!" the shorter one tried grabbing me by the neck but i kneed him in the groin. "GAH!" and then i kicked him in the stomach, throwing him off balance, having him fly backward into the heart shaped panties guy.
They both landed in the water with a huge 'splash'. Which i took the chance to clean off some of the dirt that got onto my dress and curtsied to the boys after they popped their heads up from the, probably freezing water.
"Next time i say to not call me doll face, don't do it again. Ta ta boys" and walked away with my chin up, smiling. The boys from the lodge circled me and gave me high fives and some even asked "Where'd yah learn that?!" i laughed "guess i picked up a few things." i shrugged and smiled at all of them simultaneously, adrenaline pumping threw my veins.
I heard three claps from the far back, where the door was. The boys cleared a path for.. What do you know, Spot fucking Conlon. "You know, I've nevah seen a dame fight like that." my heart pounded at his.. I think was a compliment. "Thanks.. I guess?"
"Are yoah shoah yoah daddy likes his little goil fightin' doity like that?" i felt like a huge boulder just hit me square in the face. I forgot that papa might be out looking for me right this instant. Probably hired some men to privately find me so he can kill me.
My breathing slowed down when reality set in. I can't possibly hide from my own father. What will everyone at school say? What will.. What will he do to me if i show up at his front door step? He probably already has a knife waiting for me at his home, sharped and everything.
"Don't got one." suddenly, at a moment like this, i just felt like i wanted to crumble into a million tiny pieces and disappear from this life. I didn't want to be alive, why should i anyway, when papa is just going to kill me in the end?