Larry and Charlie sat together on the porch swing looking out at the quickly darkening street. The red hued sun began to dip below the horizon. The sun's gradual progression under the horizon seemed to scream "Oh Larry! Lower!" just like Charlie had screamed last night. Amita sat on the couch with Mr Thuly watching the couple intensely. Mr Thuly sighed.
"When are they going to get this show on the road" he said anxiously. "I have a teaching job in the morning" he tapped at his wristwatch.
"They aren't usually this slow." replied Amita "maybe they just need a push to get going." Amita got off the couch and made her way to the window. She pounded on the glass.
"KISS! KISS AND DO MORE!" she yelled. "That usually gets Charlie and Don going, I'll assume it works the same way with Larry."
"Did I miss anything?" asked Alan as he sat down with Mr Thuly and Amita. "I brought my camera and some snacks." Alan passed a bowl of popcorn to Mr Thuly. As Mr Thuly ate a handful of popcorn a muffled scream echoed down the hallway. Amita looked around confused.
"It's Mabel" said Mr Thuly in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "She and Dipper are in the coat closet. She's quite the screamer."
"I thought I recognized that scream" said Alan with a smile.
Oblivious to the incestious shennanigans inside, Larry and Charlie watched the sun's last rays disappear under the horizon. Larry held Charlie's hand. Colby, who was lurking in the bushes, began to play the violin.
"Is that a protractor in your pocket, Charles?" asked Larry as he snuggled closer to Charlie. Charlie smiled innocently as he took Larry's hand, guiding it towards his protractor. A giant dinosaur then exploded through out of the koi pond, and volcanos sprang forth from the earth erupting, giant pickles rained from the sky. The dinosaur then ate all the characters.
The affair continued within the dinosaur's stomach. Surrounded by stomach acid and bits of the dinosaur's previous victims, Charlie and Larry started kissing vigorously. Amita, whose arm had been chewed off, was cheering and shouting for them to keep going, she kept trying to applaud but does one hand clapping make any noise? Don and Alan were both watching intently, waiting for the magic to happen. Colby was watching them with a hungry expression on his face, violin forgotten.
Mr. Thuly was suddenly behind the couch again, even though there was no sofa in the dinosaur's stomach. All dinosaurs are equipped with sofa-shaped objects in their vital organs. In all reality it was one of the dinosaur's lungs, but whatevs.
"This is so xylophone" whispered Alan to Don.
"Daaad" Don playfully punched Alan's shoulder.
"What?" said Alan, smiling. "I really outdid myself instilling the best skills in you boys. It was hard without your mother, it was hard with her too I guess. But I'm glad it worked out." Amita was still sitting on the lung-couch trying to clap. Alan glanced at her and looked back at Don.
"You know if the Amita Charlie and Charlie Larry things don't work out you could always be with your brother." Don laughed but inside a tear rolled out of his metaphorical tear duct and down his metaphorical cheek.
"Dad, I'm married"
"I know I'm just saying." Don had always wanted there to be an exclusive thing between him and Charlie. Once it had almost happened, during summer camp. Charlie was fifteen at the time, but Larry had to show up and mess everything up. They could've been together! This time Don wiped a real tear from his non-metaphorical cheek. He thought it was a tear, anyway. Although since it burned as it slid down his cheek it was probably some of the stomach acid dripping off of the pink fleshy 'roof' of the dinosaur's stomach.
Just as Don wiped the tear away, Jenny from Forrest Gump appeared out of nowhere. "Run, Forrest! Run!" she shouted, grabbing a knife and stabbing Don in the head, "FORREST! RUN!"