A/N: So, I haven't been overly thrilled with the show since about mid 2010, with a few exceptions (mostly Michael/Holly moments, oh so surprising if you follow my writing), but this season seems really solid so far. Here's an episode reaction to "The Boat." Title inspired by Death Cab's song "The Ice is Getting Thinner.
The Ice Kept Getting Thinner with Every Word That We'd Speak
Today had been a poorly assembled collection of close calls, Oscar reflected once he had reached the safety of his apartment. He went into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of red wine – tonight, he definitely needed it.
He moved to the table and sat down, elbow on table and palm cupping cheek. He wouldn't be as worried if this had all occurred a few years ago. He used to be able to count on Kevin. They were friends, going out for the occasional drink and playing hateball. But Kevin had gotten…well, the fact of the matter was that Kevin had gotten a little weird. Odd quirks had been magnified, almost caricaturized. And in the interim, they had drifted apart, so much to the point that Kevin's knowledge of his relationship with the senator stressed him more than that of the cameras did.
Then there was the matter of the senator. That was a whole different beast. Oscar loved him, in what sometimes felt like an unrequited fashion, because he was with Angela, and sometimes he just wanted him to leave her. He wanted Robert all to himself – he didn't want to hide behind a façade, to pretend that there was nothing between them, and to have to share him with Angela.
He was tired of it.
But on the other hand, he couldn't just stand up and announce to the world, to the office, to Angela, that he loved the senator.
It would create an even greater mess.
Oscar was practical. Oscar didn't do those kinds of things.
He took another sip of wine, contemplating the entire situation.
Sometimes he wanted to rebel from the comfortable confines of where his life was at now. He had Robert in a haphazard, incomplete sort of way. He went home to Angela, but he claimed he loved him. Angela had his son, but Oscar had his heart.
He wanted him to leave Angela, to leave that lie of a life behind and truly be with him. He wanted it very much, but he couldn't do it. He couldn't do that to Angela, he couldn't shatter what her dreams were based upon so abruptly. She annoyed him to death most of the time, but he had known her for over ten years and he just couldn't do that.
But still, he would have to have a talk with Robert soon. One day, one day eventually they would be together in a non-clandestine way. He would be his and he would be his, and there would be no Angela to stand in between them. They would find a way to sort it all out gracefully, with time, and somehow, all would be well.
It may have been wishful thinking on Oscar's part, but it got him through the night.