This is my entry for CupcakeQueenForevers' Contest.

Song: California King Bed

Couple: Rose & Dimitri

Summary: Rose and Dimitri were high school sweethearts. They've been married for almost a year but, when tragedy strikes how will they pull through?

Chest to chest
Nose to nose
Palm to palm
We were always just that close
Wrist to wrist
Toe to toe
Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose
So how come when I reach out my finger
It seems like more than distance between us

I remember right after we got married all I wanted to do was be in Dimitri's arms forever. Hell before we even got married that's all I wanted. Now even when I'm wrapped in his arms laying in bed I feel like it's an action done out of habit. Even when I'm laying there feeling the heat radiating off of him, all I feel is cold.

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For you're heart on me
My California king

Ever since I miscarried our sweet little baby, we've drifted further and further apart. I know he blames me and honestly who could blame him? If I wasn't so insistent on going out that night, we would never have been in that car…If I wasn't so stupid, I would still be able to lay in his arms and feel as if everything was right in the world instead of feeling more alone than ever. It hurts to know that it's all my fault. I should have been better, smarter, stronger. Maybe then we would still be a happy couple with a baby on the way…Maybe then I wouldn't feel as if there was an entire world between Dimitri and me. Instead the space just seems to get bigger and bigger everyday.

Eye to eye
Cheek to cheek
Side by side
You were sleeping next to me
Arm in arm
Dusk to dawn
With the curtains drawn
And a little last night on these sheets
So how come when I reach out my finger
It feels like more than distance between us

We go through our daily routines, hardly speaking, lucky if we say 5 words to each other each day. Normally we go to bed and out of habit I lay on Dimitri's chest with his arms around. Tonight I just don't feel like putting on this façade so after a few minutes of lying with him I roll over into and turn my back to him, I curl up into fetal position and before I know it a tear slips down my cheek. I slowly try to wipe it away so he won't realize what I'm doing but he's probably not even paying attention. It's ironic that he used to treat me as if I was a queen, now he hardly looks at me. Of course if I was his queen, that made him my king. The king and Queen of California, on the outside we're the perfect couple a match made in heaven. On the inside we couldn't be further apart.

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on these stars
For you're heart on me
My California king

I wish we could go back. Back before the wreck, back before my world quickly shattered. I look out at the stars and for a second I remember what Baba always used to tell me "Wish on the first star you see and it's guaranteed to come true!" I know it probably won't work, I'm pretty sure I've used up all my wishes and luck on finding a man as amazing as Dimitri but, what can it hurt to try? I quickly close my eyes and wish for everything to be ok again, that somehow this cold distance between Dimitri and I will disappear. Before I know it a few more tears start making their way down my cheek. I know that there's no stopping them right now so instead I just bury my head into the pillow so Dimitri won't see me cry. I know he's hurting as bad as I am but for some reason we just won't allow each other to see our pain. Instead we hide our feelings and, in the end it just creates a bigger distance between us.

Just when I felt like giving up on us
You turned around and gave me one last touch
That made everything feel better
And even then my eyes got wetter
So confused wanna ask you if you love me
But I don't wanna seem so weak
Maybe I've been California dreaming

All of a sudden I feel Dimitri behind me, he gently pulls my shoulder and I turn and look at him. I really want to ask him if he still loves me and if he blames me like I blame myself. I don't want to seem weak though so I stop myself. My hearts screaming at me to just ask because 'this is the reason why we're drifting so far apart' but, my brains yelling saying 'NO then you'll look weak and he'll never want you again'. In the moment our eyes meet, I see most of what he's been hiding in his eyes. I see part of the love that was always there, the pain he's been hiding, and mostly the apology for pushing me away. In those few seconds my hope started to flicker. Maybe we can get through this.

In this California king bed
We're ten thousand miles apart
I've been California wishing on the stars
For you're heart on me
My California king
My California king

A Week later

It's been a week since that night, a week since I made that wish on that star and a week since the distance has slowly started to disappear. Who knew that just by me turning away from him, it would wake Dimitri and myself up enough to try and work through our problems. We've been trying to be more open about what we feel. We tell each other "I Love You" everyday as soon as we wake. It could be just for a reassurance, or to remind us why we keep fighting through this distance between us. Whatever the reason, it's helpful to hear every day. It helps give me the strength to keep working on being more open. I love knowing that despite everything we've been through and through everything we will go through, he will still love me and be by my side. We still have quite a long ways to go because honestly, this isn't something we can just get over. It's going to take a lot of work and a lot of love. It's going to hurt but, the worst part is over because now we have each other again. There's still some distance between us and it's going to be there for a while but, every day it gets smaller and every day we work that much harder. The King and Queen of California one day soon might just be the perfect couple inside and out once again.