Hello, and welcome, my fellow authors and readers! It's been really hard for me to come up with not just a title, but also an exact plot for a Dair fanfic too, and now here it is. Since there hasn't been a story that really explores Blair's feelings in 6x01, I decided to write a fanfic, and I hope you'll like it, so please give a review after you've read it. The image that I have for the book cover isn't mine, and it belongs to a fellow Dair shipper named "piledriverrwaltz". Enjoy!
"Sometimes, your time is better spent to those that love you unconditionally than time wasted to those that love you when the conditions are right for them."
"Blair, you had someone who loved you unconditionally, treated you right, and wanted to be with you every day, and then you threw that all away to let Chuck Bass decide when he's ready for you? You think you have an epic love, but all you have are excuses."
Blair couldn't stop thinking about what Dan had said to her in the hallway of that mansion owned by Serena's new boyfriend, whose name she couldn't even try to remember at this time of night, and it had Blair wondering about the pact that she made with Chuck. Even though her and Chuck did have other things that they needed to take of, with Blair running her mother's company, Waldorf Designs, and Chuck taking down his father to get back Bass Industries, she didn't understand why they couldn't help each other out. Before he left the limo to take a walk, Chuck told Blair that she was a distraction because she was all that he thinks about when they're together, but that didn't seem to be a problem for them in the past, whether they were a couple or had been broken up.
She was beginning to realize that Dan was actually right about her and Chuck, and that they were just making up excuses to keep them apart, and not just be together. While Blair didn't mind that she and Chuck were apart for the whole summer, since it was enough for her to be in that hotel room back in Monte Carlo, she did feel so awful for taking off and leaving Dan without even meeting to tell him how she felt. He didn't deserve to be treated like that, especially after everything that he's done for her in the past year, from convincing her to find out who the father of her baby was, to helping her finally let go of her dream of being a princess on the Met steps.
That's why Dan was also right about another thing, it wasn't him who owed her an explanation, and since they had spoken a few times earlier today, she hoped that maybe he would actually take her call, and hear what it is that she had to say this time. Blair decided to wait until she was back in her bedroom inside her apartment to call Dan, and if he wouldn't answer her, then she would make sure to keep calling him until he did, so she took a single deep breath before dialing Dan's phone number. At first, Blair didn't even know what to say, and she was sure that it would have been better to prepare a speech and have it frequently memorized, but she concluded to keep thinking about the things that he said and simply take it from there.
"Hello, Dan? It's Blair, and I know that you're still upset with me, but you do have every right to feel that way, considering the way that I just left to be with Chuck without saying anything to you four months ago, but I felt that it's about time to give you an explanation. I kept thinking about what you said about me and Chuck earlier today, and it's now that I realized. . .you were absolutely right. We don't have an epic love, all we have are just excuses not to be together, such as games, family problems, betrayal, and trust issues. It's why our relationship has become so dysfunctional, and not to mention...unhealthy, with Chuck and I mistreating one another on many countless occasions, but the reason I went back to Chuck wasn't because I loved him, and I haven't loved him for a very long time.
Remember when we found out that it was Chuck who paid the dowry? Well, it turns out that's not the whole story. It was Georgina who had gotten Chuck to pay it, and because I made a deal with her that if she could get me out of my marriage, I would owe her a favor. Right after you gave me that ultimatum to meet you at the Sheppard's party, I got a call from Georgina, who told me that it was time for me to repay her, and I would have to do that by convincing Chuck that I wanted to be with him, and stay with him for the whole summer. Georgina told me that I couldn't tell anyone about the agreement, and I couldn't get anyone involved, including you, because if I did, then Georgina would make sure that you would never get published again, and I couldn't bear the thought of you never getting published because of me. Since I heard Georgina's voice instead if yours when I called you earlier today, I thought that you must have spent all summer with Georgina, so I thought maybe she already told you about the deal we made, but I guess from everything that you said today, she didn't tell you.
I swear that if Georgina hadn't ever made that call, I would have been on my way to meet you at that party, and once I got there, I would have told you that I love you, because it's absolutely true, and I couldn't stand the thought of you not knowing how I felt about you anymore. I'm sorry that I didn't meet you at the party, and I'm sorry for not telling you about my feelings for you sooner, and I'm sorry that I didn't give you an explantion before I left, but I don't expect you to forgive me, or even come over here, so I'm going to finish this up soon. I love you, Dan, and I miss you, not just as a boyfriend, but also as a friend, because that's what I loved when we were together, we were friends who did so many fun things, such as go to the movies, have deep intellectual discussions, and our banter while sharing coffee and waffles. Remember those wedding vows that you wrote for Louis, because I do, and I swear that the first time I read them, it was like. . .you peered into my soul, and they almost brought me to tears, and I'm sure that I still keep those beautiful vows in one of my drawers to this day.
You also remember when I came over to your loft, and told you that Chuck didn't have my heart anymore, and I realized that it belonged to you? Well, my heart never really left you, and that's probably because when we were together, you did something that Chuck never did. You loved me unconditionally, putting my own happiness first, and you were always there for me, when no else was, and you made me feel strong and safe, as well as relaxed and carefree, which are all feelings that I've never really felt during every time when I was with Chuck. I think that a few years ago at Dorota's wedding, I told Chuck that I wanted what her and Vanya had, pure and simple love, while later on that night, you told me that you believed I deserved to be with someone who makes me happy, so here's what connects those events. You made me so happy when we were together, and what we had was the pure and simple love that I've always wanted, but I know that it's over, and you don't want anything to do with me, so Dan, I'd just like to say thank you for everything, and I guess that this is goodbye."
Once Blair had put the cell phone down from her right ear, she decided not to hold back all of the tears she was fighting while making that call to Dan, and she didn't know was that she had left her phone on, since a lot of things Dan said to her in the past year already came into her mind.
"I'll be there for you, for whatever you need."
"You'll still have me."
"It wouldn't to me."
"You look perfect."
"It's not awful. It's you, it couldn't be awful."
"Our relationship is our world. We're a team."
"That girl is fiercely strong. Independent. Outspoken. Beautiful. Capable of anything...and no man or magazine should be able to take that away from her."
The cold silence throughout Blair's room was soon interrupted when she thought that she heard a sound made from one of the elevators near the foyer, and she was assuming that it was Chuck coming by to give her a visit. Blair went to the bathroom first to clean herself up, since she didn't think that Chuck would want to console her if he knew that she was crying, because that would apparently be breaking the pact they had, but she knew that this would be her chance to end things with him once and for all.
"Listen, Chuck, I know that you don't want to hear this, but I've been thinking about what you said earlier in the limo," Blair said, as she walked down the stairs. ". . . and I've decided that I can't go through with what we're doing any longer. . ."
"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I didn't come here to talk about any kind of intimacy issues." Blair stopped talking when she realized that voice she just heard didn't come from Chuck, since his voice somehow seemed to remind her of a whispering superhero, but she wasn't sure whom.
"Dan, what are you doing here? I didn't think that you would ever want to see me again, especially from what I did." Blair said, while she was still surprised that he came to her apartment, although she wasn't expecting him, but she had to admit that it was good to see Dan again.
"Honestly, I didn't think I would either, but I just happened to be walking around the city when I got your call, and although I was surprised because I remember that during the past summer, you usually call during the day, and not at night, so I thought it would be different this time." Dan replied.
"Really, then I guess that must have been some kind of sign, or something like that, so anyway, I'm sure that since you heard everything I said over the phone, there were a lot of things that caught your attention, now what did you want to talk to me about?" "Blair asked.
"Just a few specific things, but while I appreciate you giving me an explanation for everything, there's something that I did on the night of the Sheppard's party, and I felt that it was important to tell you now, but face to face, and it has to do with Serena. . ." Dan answered.
Blair had already begun to think of the worse thoughts in her head, like Dan and Serena having sex at the party, which meant that Dan had gotten over her so fast, and started to have feelings for Serena all over again, and wanted to be with her, so that's why he wanted to find her.
"It's not what you think. We didn't sleep together, but we did kiss. Someone working the party had spilled a drink on our clothes, so we went somewhere private to dry off, which was a bar that wasn't being used, and where nobody was around to see us. While we were in there, Serena completely manipulated me, telling me all of these things, that it's exactly like you to just choose Chuck and not say anything to me, and all you do was lie and scheme, and you've done nothing but hurt me all year. She still wasn't done, saying that you're never going to change, and the Blair that I'm in love with isn't the real Blair, it's the Blair that I created in my book, and you've always loved Chuck, and you were just using me to get between me and her because you knew that she loved me.
That's when she kissed me, and then I kissed her back, and even though she wanted to go all the way with me, I stopped her, so when I was putting my shirt back on, and that's the only thing that came off while we kissed, I saw that her phone was recording us the whole time. I realized what she had been doing and left the bar, hoping not to see her again, but she came to my loft the next day, saying that she never meant to have me get caught in the crossfire of her battle with you, and she deleted the video, so that meant nobody saw it and got hurt. She told me that I shouldn't be acting so innocent, because what happened at the bar was mutual, because me and her used each other, but I defended myself, saying that I was trying to escape my pain, and she was trying to destroy you, and those were two different things.
Serena claimed to be sorry for how it happened, but told me that she loved me, and she didn't think that I would have done what I did with her if I didn't still have feelings for her, and there was nothing standing in the way of 'us'. I told her that there's no 'us', there's only her, so now that our parents were splitting up, I never had to see her again, so she left my loft, and of course, I didn't see or hear from her ever since then, at least, not until both of us found her in that guy's mansion.
"Thank you for being honest with me, Dan, but I just can't believe that I actually asked for her forgiveness earlier today. I'm glad that me and her aren't going to be friends anymore, so that way, she won't have to keep telling me to be with Chuck all the time." Blair said.
"I thought you were gone for good, but I know that doesn't justify what I did with Serena, because it was horrible a mistake and I'm really sorry, Blair, but what I also know is that through all the emotions I've felt, I still love you, but can you forgive me?" Dan asked.
"Of course, I can forgive you, but I need to know if you can forgive me as well, because what I did was just as awful too, even though it was only to save your career in publishing, and I promise that I'll never keep anything from you ever again." Blair answered.
"Yes, Blair, you can be forgiven, and I still want to be with you, but if we're going to be together, then I just need to be certain that you're going to end it with Chuck before anything happens between us again, so can you promise you'll do that?" Dan requested.
"I promise, and you know what, I could call Chuck right now, and also tell him that he can take back the engagement ring that he's given me, because since I've decided that I don't want to be with him anymore, I can't really see any point in keeping it now." Blair responded.
"Before I leave, I want you to know that even though Georgina didn't tell me anything about the deal she made with you, I did have a feeling that she was up to something, but I was so upset about losing you and what happened with Serena that I didn't stop and think about what it might be."
"Goodnight, Blair." Dan said, and right when he turned around to head for the elevator, he felt Blair touch his arm, pulling him back in her direction, and saw that her eyes were looking at the luggage bag he was carrying over his right shoulder.
"Dan, if you need to place to stay, there's a room upstairs that's available. It used to be Serena's room, but it's not anymore. You were there for me, when I had no one last year, so I should do the same for you. Please, I insist that you make yourself at home." Blair said.
"Thank you, Blair, I appreciate it, but there's one more thing that I want to hear from you." Dan said, as he brought out one of his arms around Blair's back and pulled her closer to him, and he put his mouth next to her right ear to whisper what it was that he wanted.
"Tell me you love me, because when I heard you say it over the phone, I was sure that I didn't hear it clearly, so I just want you to say it again." Dan said softly, before coming back to look her in the eyes.
"I love you, Dan, and I'm sorry for not saying it earlier as I had originally planned, but you are the one that I want to be with, because you manage to give me warmth in my heart, cause my eyes to speak emotions, and to always bring a smile on my face." Blair stated.
Dan leaned forward and brushed his lips on hers, and while the kiss was sweet and gentle at first, it soon grew to become hot and passionate, and when they parted for a second and looked at each other, he smiled at her for the very first time since they saw each other earlier. Blair smiled back at him, and as she bravely took his hand and led him upstairs, she let even more tears fall down her face, but she didn't wipe them off, because this time, they were tears of joy, relief, happiness, and not like before, which were tears of regret and sadness.
"Chuck, it's me, and I don't know where you are right now, but I really hope you get this, because what I have to say is really important. The engagement ring that you gave to me is so beautiful, but I'll have to return it back to you, and I'd like to explain why. While it's obvious from our history that what we have is complicated, intense, and all-consuming, it's also dark, twisted, and toxic, which is why we can't be a couple ever again, and I'm absolutely sure that not being together will be good for both of us. We always bring out the worst in each other, we constantly pushing each other away, reject one another so many times, and we never sort out our problems through having conversations, like normal couples do, but with hate-sex, treaties, and scheming.
You've told me many times in the past that we are this epic romance, two people destined for each other, but it's not healthy, safe, and doesn't help in changing us into better people at all, it only makes not just us, but also our lives so miserable. I'm not asking you to choose between being with me and getting back Bass Industries, but I have to ask, does the company really belong to you, and is your vendetta against Bart so necessary? It was your dad who built the company from nothing, and it's because of him that you've always had a wealthy lifestyle, but if the company's still important to you, then you have my full support, but I just don't want to see you begin another downward spiral. We could try to be friends, but I don't know if that's even possible. I just want the best for you, and I want you to be happy, but we can't do this anymore, so the best thing that we could do for each other right now to let each other go for good. Goodbye, Chuck."
Just as Blair hung up her cell phone, she widely smiled, while feeling proud of herself for what she had just done, as well as being more free and alive than she'd ever been, took off the bathrobe that she had been wearing before going back to her bedroom. She got her unclothed body under the sheets and snuggled closer to the guy who loved her for who she was, who would still love her even if she had nothing, and who loved her unconditionally.