"What happened to the kitchen?"

These were the words heard through the Lestrade household a few days before Christmas. Instead of coming home to a tidy kitchen when he left, it looked the fridge threw up. Batter sprinkled the walls and gobs of unidentifiable slimy green slop dripped from the ceiling. Through the haze of flour, he could see two figures. He heard them coughing and trying to clear the air.

"Write this down, highly explosive chemicals do not make an edible cake." came from a deep baritone that has haunted Lestrade for the past few years.

"Pop rocks sounded like a good idea with the liquid nitrogen. Then again, it would have been smart to wait for the batter to cool down."came the other recognizable tenor.

Lestrade had to pinched the bridge of his nose before he killed the two. Who else but Sherlock and Felix? Sherlock probably didn't even know that an actual kitchen was used for cooking. His son was no better. Felix had been putting food on the ceiling since he was old enough to use the stove. The bad thing was he liked to bring his food experiments home. Unfortunately after the introduction in the cafe to his kids, Felix and Sherlock took to each other like a house on fire.

Felix liked to play with new food techniques and machines while Sherlock just liked to experiment. The free food was only a bonus. That meant Sherlock got to use expensive chemicals and machines and Felix got a free test dummy. Still, he only left them to get extra Christmas crackers. They had been fighting over what food to freeze in liquid nitrogen for a Christmas menu in the dining room. Where they got the nitrogen he didn't want to know.

"Sherlock! Felix!" Lestrade snapped, staying near the threshold of the dining room for his own health.

Felix whipped his head around and beamed at his father. But he quickly realized the state the kitchen was in. He gained a sheepish expression, holding flour coated hands in front of him.

"I can explain. It was all Mr. Holmes fault."

Sherlock only raised an eyebrow as he turned his head to Lestrade. It was obvious that he wasn't bothered by the mess that surrounded him.

"I would consider this a jointly effort as I have provided part of the experiment. The batter on the ceiling was an unprecedented factor that we didn't consider." he muttered.

The detective went back to looking over his notes like nothing happened. Lestrade wondered what god he pissed off to deserve this. He put his shopping bag down, knowing he had more things to do than mess with the two.

"I'm going to pick up your brother from school. This-", Lestrade motioned to the kitchen with his free hand," better get cleaned up when I get back here."

He didn't bother waiting for an explanation as he walked back out the house.


Felix watched his father leave with a huff. He took another good look at the kitchen and winced. He wasn't too sure how they got half frozen jam on the bar top. He let out a heavy sigh, going to the pantry closet and taking out various cleaning supplies. He handed Sherlock a mop and empty bucket to use. Sherlock looked at the two items like he had never used both in his life.

Which knowing Sherlock was no doubt true. He stared at Felix who had grabbed a spatula and cleaning solution, trying to scrap the jam off.

"Am I expected to clean up?"

Felix let out a grunt as an answer,waving a free hand to the empty bucket and then to the ceiling. Sherlock made a face as a glop oozed it way down to the floor. He sidestepped the mess and went to fill the bucket with water and cleaner.


Lestrade couldn't help but have a smile on face as Artemis told him about his day. He had to send off a text just to get a word in. His son was signing away about his day and how excited he was that his big brother was home. Lestrade bet that Sherlock left at the thought of having to clean up. The detective would likely live in filth if John didn't clean up.

Hopefully, he would have the house to himself and his kids. He was so lost in his musings that he jumped when Artemis tugged his sleeve. They were standing in front of the door. Giving a reassuring smile, he let them inside. Artemis ran in first and headed right for his room. The smell of chocolate hit his nose which made his stomach rumble. He forgot that he had skipped breakfast and lunch had been a distant dream.

He made his way to the kitchen and was happy to see it was clean. Felix was taking cookies out the oven and sliding sandwiches in their place. Closing the oven with his hip, he sent a grin Lestrade's way.

"You are sure proud of yourself, huh? You're the one who made the mess in the first place." Lestrade said as he sat down at the island, reaching out for a cookie.

His fingers didn't get to touch a gooey chocolate chip before his hand was slapped away. "Hey, I'm making sandwiches. This is dessert. Where's my little bro? " Felix asked, wiping his hands off on his apron.

Lestrade rubbed his hand with a good natured laugh. "Changing no doubt. He had a good day." he replied.

"Really? What did he do?"

"He lost one of his teeth today. One of the front ones. Art said he was eating his sandwich and when he was getting ready for another bite, it was in the bread."

Felix had a grimace on his face at the description. For him, that was gross. He was going to say just how nasty he found it when skinny arms wrapped tight around his waist. Nearly stumbling from the sudden hug, he grabbed the counter for support.

"Big brother!" Felix looked down and was not surprised to see it was Artemis. He smiled and returned the hug, ruffling his hair.

Tapping his shoulder to look up, Felix signed,"Hello my awesome number one assistant. Heard you lost a tooth, can I see?"

Artemis opened his mouth to show that one of his front teeth had fallen out. He giggled as Felix made over exaggerated gestures, playfully shoving his side. His brother had an innocent look as if to say "Who me?". Artemis let him to and walked around the island top to sit next to his dad. He had his tablet out already and started to text.

"What's for lunch?" he asked, flipping his phone around to show both men.

"Sandwiches. Ham and cheese with a bit of arugula. I made some seasoned chips to go on the side. For dessert, your favorite cookie." Felix typed back.

Artemis clapped his hands together in delight, making a shooing motion towards the oven. Lestrade could only laugh at his boys, knowing that only Mycroft made that kind of shooing motion to anyone. Felix seemed to pick up on it and only rolled his eyes playfully. He turned to the oven, grabbing the tray of sandwiches and chips out. It was like he went into his 'chef mode' as his little brother called it. He placed the food on plates he already had out, handing two to Artemis and Lestrade.

When Felix finally did a total wipe down of his cooking space, he finally sat down on the other side of his father. Lestrade and Artemis waited for Felix before they all started to eat together. Their meal was relaxing, the silence being occasionally broken by conversation. Artemis told them more about his day, making gestures so big that Lestrade had to steady him by his shirt every few minutes. Felix was quick to tease and make jokes, starting an argument that was good natured as brothers. Lestrade only smiled to himself as he finish his meal.

For him to be able to come home to his sons, no matter how they acted (or trouble Felix caused), it was the best feeling in the world.