Loonakids: Start All Over
Alright, I'll just lead with it: this one is going to be longer. See, watching all these shows with good ideas for episodes of this gave me this idea and now...well, here it is. Please enjoy anyway and stick with me. Introducing the season premiere of Loonakids Season 3!
Nadine Bunny sat down on a couch in the living room of HQ. "I can't believe we're all finally 16!"
"I know," said Kelly Coyote, her best friend, "After all we've been through, it seemed like this would never come."
"Remind me again what all it was that I missed?" Brenda Sanders asked.
"Oh…the Daughters of the Dark, the kids' 10th and 14th birthdays were big deals…high school and apprenticing," Daniella Runner, Kelly's mother's triplet sister, answered.
"Really?" asked Austin Wolfe, Kelly's boyfriend, "I don't think we've heard all of that."
"Huh, you'd think we'd have told you," said Sarah, Kelly's little sister, "A lot happened there. Of course, some of it didn't really involve magic."
"There you go," said Tech E. Coyote, Sarah and Kelly's father.
"Hmm…what about that time we went off on a fathers-sons fishing trip?" Benny Bunny asked.
"Oh, and we got into trouble in school because of…" Lucy, Benny's little sister, thought that over. "Oh no! No, no! Not about Kelly in front of Austin!"
"Why not?" asked Jack Duck, Kelly and Sarah's cousin, "Let's see…"
Four years ago…
Nadine (Benny and Lucy's older sister) spooned some glop from her plate and let it fall again in lumps. "Can you believe the stuff they force down our throats here?"
"No way!" Lucy answered, "Who eats anything like this?"
The two of them and Kelly then heard some weird growling noises and turned their attention to Sarah, who was carnivorously devouring one of the burgers. She stopped abruptly when she noticed her three friends looking at her. "What?" she asked through the food.
Kelly picked up a cookie. "You know, since this was the last one I was going to break it up and share it with you guys, but I can just toss it right in."
Sarah put down her burger.
Just then, another student ran in. "Here she comes!" he said, "Here she comes! It's the Cracker!" As soon as the boy ran away, a bigger girl came in.
"That's the new girl," said Kelly, "Why do they call her 'the Cracker'?"
"Wait for it…" Lucy said.
The Cracker sat down at a table, picked up some walnuts, and enclosed them in her fist, breaking them in half and dropping them on the table.
"Even from here it hurts!" Lucy said.
The boy came up to them. "I know, right? Rumor has it, at her old school, when they kicked her out, she almost destroyed the whole place and they had to call animal control! It took six dog catchers and a giant net to bring her down!"
"Drake, people make those rumors up," Kelly said, "Remember when Sarah, Ryan, Michael, and I joined the school and somebody spread a rumor that our whole family ate roadrunner?"
Drake leaned back. "I didn't know you guys then." He walked off.
"Exactly my point," Kelly said, "We need to get to know people before we judge them. You'd think two years of training to be superheroes would teach you that. I don't care what everyone says. I know what it's like to be the new kid and I am going over there. And, besides, even if she is a bully, it's not like she's going to pull anything with Mrs. Racer here."
Sarah turn around to look at their teacher, who was pouring a glass of water…and with her glasses on, she missed the glass completely. "Yeah. Eyes like a hawk."
Nadine looked at her best friend. "Tell you what: you go try to make friends with the Cracker and I'll stay here and start writing your will."
"Ooh!" Sarah said, "Put me down for all her shoes." Kelly looked at her sister. "I mean 'good luck.'"
"Ah, the Fellowship of the Weenies," said Kelly. With that, she walked over to the Cracker's table and sat down. "Hi. I'm Kelly." The raccoon just looked at her. "You know, I used to be new here. But now I'm old here. Well, not old old, like this meatloaf!" She giggled. The Cracker showed her the nut thing. "Neat trick. You know, I saw The Nutcracker once." The Cracker stared her down. "Loved it."
The Cracker smiled. "Got any lipstick?"
Kelly smiled back. "Yeah." She fished through her bag and handed her one. "This color will look great on you." The Cracker snatched it. "I can tell we're gonna be great friends."
Five minutes later…
Kelly ran back to the table, the lipstick smeared all over her face. Nadine, Lucy, and Sarah took one look at her and jumped. "Call animal control." The Cracker came up behind her and tilted her head a couple times, cracking her neck. Kelly winced at the sound. "She's right behind me, isn't she?" The three girls nodded. Kelly reluctantly turned around and faced the Cracker, who cracked her nose a couple times. "Anybody got a net?"
20 minutes later…
Daniella walked into the foyer, talking on her cell phone, to meet Lexi (the Bunny litter's mother), Wendy (Jack's mother), and Sophie (the coyote litter's mother). "Don't worry, Tech. Just enjoy that fathers-sons-Slam fishing trip." There was a knock on the door. "We'll make sure nothing harms our little girls." She answered the door and her smile disappeared. "Gotta go." She hung up.
Kelly was on the other side. She had made some time to rinse out her fur, of course, but now her ears were tied to her arms.
"Dare I ask what happened?" asked Daniella.
Kelly walked in. "Oh, just the new girl at school—"
"Say no more," said Sophie, going over to help her daughter, "Man, didn't anyone try to help you?"
Sarah walked in under the same condition, followed by Nadine. "That would be us."
Lucy walked in last. She was perfectly fine. "Boy, am I glad I stayed behind!"
Kelly groaned as her mother started untangling her. "I can't believe this. OW!"
"Sorry!" Sophie instantly apologized.
Kelly finally pulled herself free. "Man, all I was trying to do was be nice, and now I'm a great, big target!"
Sarah started wrestling herself free. "And thanks to you, so am I! OW!"
"Again, sorry!" Sophie said, pulling free her youngest (at the time) daughter's ears.
Nadine was already smoothed out, thanks to Lexi. "Not to mention me. Boy, if I'd taken the chance to move in with Katrina Horn for a year and skipped the rest of the apprenticing, my life would be a whole lot simpler."
Kelly just massaged her ears gently.
"First thing tomorrow, you are going to tell that principal," Lexi said.
"And be a snitch?!" Kelly cried, "No way, no how! Not even if it saves my tail!"
"Then I guess one of us is just going to have to go down there to protect you from the Cookie," said Wendy, having heard the story from Nadine while Lexi was straightening her out.
"Uh…Aunt Wendy, she's not the Cookie, she's the Cracker," Kelly corrected.
"I don't care what kind of snack food she is!" Wendy said.
"I hate to say it, but Wendy's right," Sophie said.
"Look, the point is," Daniella said, "If you're not going to do anything, one of us has to do something."
"Oh, come on!" Kelly said, "Can't you just allow us to use our powers once in private?"
"No can do," said Daniella, shaking her head.
"Well then…Aunt Lexi!" Kelly thought out loud, quickly, "Can't you just teach us one of Uncle Ace's special moves?"
Lexi sighed. "You mean, like this?" She swiped her hand through the air and did a battle stance.
"What's so special about that?" Lucy asked.
Lexi snapped her fingers and the pineapple on the nearby table split in four.
"Wow!" Sarah said.
Kelly looked at Lexi, hopefully. "Can you teach me that?"
Lexi scoffed. "Are you kidding? You're only supposed to use violence as a last resort, let alone your powers!"
"When is that? When she yanks out our intestines and wears them as a belt?!"
"OK, I have a move that'll work for you," said Wendy, "Make some room!" Everyone backed out of the way. "OK, Nadine!" Nadine came over. "You be the bully and I'll be Kelly. Now show me what you got." She started to pretend to walk in place.
Nadine started to say something. "I'd rather not." She started to leave, but Kelly pushed her back in place.
"Come on, I'm not gonna hurt you," Wendy assured her before going back to her walk, "Now here I am, walking down the hall. Green eyes, all perky—come on! Give me something!"
Nadine reluctantly leaned in. "Hey, Kelly! Give me your lipstick!"
Wendy shrieked and ran away. "Principal! Principal! Help me, help me!" The girls stared after her for a few seconds before she came back. "That's how you handle a bully."
"You want me to run away?" Kelly asked.
"Like a free-range chicken!" Wendy proceeded to put her hands on her shoulders and flap her arms like wings, squealing: "BAWK! Buck, buck, ba-gawk! Buck…" She walked up the stairs, doing so.
Daniella looked at them. "I'm with her." She did what her sister had done. "Buck-buck-bawk!" She walked away.
Lexi and Sophie looked at each other.
"What they said," Sophie said.
"Yeah," Lexi said, walking away with Sophie following.
Lucy sighed and looked at her sisters and friends. "It's too bad they won't teach us anything—even though it's exactly what they're supposed to do. I mean, just the way Mom puma'd that pineapple scared the juice out of me!"
DING! Kelly got an idea. "That's it! None of us need to be a puma. We just need the Cracker to think one of us is one!"
"Ah, Lucy likey!"
Kelly did the hand-swipe thing. "Hoy-yaw! Ha!" She smacked her hand on one of the pineapple chunks and whimpered. "Ow."
"So let me get this straight," said Brenda, "You're a full Witch and a half-Vampire now, but the best you could do four years ago was injure your hand on a pineapple?"
Kelly scoffed and noticed that Wendy was cutting pineapples right then. "I'll have you know that I can do it now!" She did the same thing…with the same results. "Or not." She started rubbing her hand.
Austin looked at Tech and the guys. "So while all this was going on, what was happening with you?"
"Let's see…" Ryan, Tech and Sophie's eldest son, said, "uh…oh! I remember! We got about halfway to the lake on the first of our three days and it started pouring snow…"
Four years ago…
The guys were all shivering as the rundown motel's owner unlocked the room.
"Thanks for giving us the room, Gunner," Ace (Lexi's husband and the bunny litter's father) said.
"You know, you're lucky I had this room," said Gunner, "The health department wanted to close me down last week."
Tech stopped shivering and looked at him suspiciously. "Why's that?"
"Oh, bugs. Big bugs. But don't worry, we're fumigating all the other rooms."
"'C-C-Cause you already did this one," Duck (Jack's dad and Wendy's husband) assumed.
Gunner thought about that one. "OK." He unlocked the room and let the boys in. "Welcome to the honeymoon suite!"
Ryan dropped his bags. "Huh. You know, when I pictured my honeymoon, it didn't involve the red satin wallpaper or the big heart-shaped bed—or my dad!"
"Well, at least it's better than bringing your mother-in-law along," said Gunner, "That was a nightmare!" The guys all looked at each other. "Well, I'll go get Frankie to bring you boys some fresh towlettes." He walked out.
"You mean 'towels'," Robert (Daniella's son) corrected.
Gunner thought that over. "OK." He walked away.
Michael (the youngest coyote at the time) closed the door. "I wanna go home."
"Relax, son," Tech said, "So we've hit a bump in the road. Let's look at this as an adventure." He went to turn on the lights…and the switch he did hit turned on a disco ball and romantic music.
"I really wanna go home," Jack said.
"It's not that bad," said Duck, turning off the switch Tech had hit, "It kind of reminds me of poker night in my uncle's RV."
There was a knock on the door and Tech answered it to reveal a ventriloquist dummy on the other side. He looked at his sons and friends. "Remember, it's still an adventure. It's just an adventure with a puppet."
"You guys in the honeymoon suite?" asked the dummy in a voice that sounded a lot like Gunner, "Awkward!"
Gunner walked in, carrying the dummy. "Frankie! How many times have I told you not to tease the guests?! That is no way to get repeat business!" He looked at the guys and smiled. "Enjoy your stay!" He left.
Jack locked the door behind him. "We are sleeping in shifts!"
At the school…
The next morning…
The Cracker walked into the hall and everybody scattered.
Then Kelly walked in and did a few battle stances. "Hiya!" Sarah and Nadine followed her in as she made her way over to the Cracker, Lucy staying away a distance, until the four were right in front of her. "Hi-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!" The Cracker stared her down. "That's right. Kelly like a puma! Hiya!"
"Oh, yeah!" Sarah said, "She's a bad puma! You better run, Cracker! Go ahead start running!" Nothing.
"Why isn't she running?" asked Nadine. The Cracker answered that by cracking her neck again.
"I'm warning you!" Kelly said, trying to regain her composure through the fear, "Kelly like a puma!" She let down her arms. "Kelly like a puma?" Nothing. "Hiya? OK, not a puma. But I am a coyote and I can run like a puma!" She raced off, Nadine and Sarah following close behind as they ran into the bathroom, not noticing the Cracker following.
In the forest…
Jack was asleep in the bed while the guys were packing up their things. Suddenly, he started giggling and groaning. "Guys, stop!" They all looked at him, confused. "Guys! Stop tickling my feet!"
"What're talking about, Jack?" asked Robert, "We're over here!"
Jack's eyes popped open and he shrieked like a little girl and scrambled out of the bed. "Bugs! Big bugs!" He ran over. "I REALLY WANNA GO HOME!"
Gunner came in, pushing a cart. "Not without your deluxe, complimentary breakfast!"
Ace sighed and giggled. "Well, uh…we were actually gonna leave about now. See if we can't salvage what's left of this trip."
"Oh, I don't know about that, the roads are still snowed in. Looks like you're stuck." The guys looked at each other again, this time in desperation. Gunner closed the door. BOOM! Gunner opened the door and revealed a wall of snow. "What do you know? Looks like we're all stuck!"
Jack raced over to the window and opened it to reveal another snow wall. "Yipe! He's right! We are stuck!"
"Well-look-on-the-bright-side-at-least-he-doesn't-have-the-dummy!" Rev (Daniella's husband and Robert's father) said.
Gunner pulled up Frankie. "Who're you calling a dummy, dummy?" He was a horrible ventriloquist.
Duck looked at the guys. "I've seen this movie before. We don't make it to the sequel!"
At the school…
The Cracker came out of the bathroom and shook her hands off. She walked away, whistling.
Nadine, Kelly, and Sarah all came out, their clothes slightly torn and their ears tied together.
"Talk about hard of hearing," Kelly said.
Sarah giggled, but, in doing so, she tugged on them, injuring them again. "Don't make me laugh!"
Drake ran into the hall. "Run! She's coming!"
"Drake! Slow down!" said Nadine as Lucy came over to help them, "She's in the cafeteria."
"Not the Cracker! There's a new girl at school! She's even scarier!" Drake ran off.
"Where's the Cracker?" The girls' eyes widened at that voice. They slowly turned to face Daniella as she came into the hall under a spell to disguise her as a teenager. "Hey, girls!" She dropped a skateboard on the floor. "Where do I park my board?"