Here is my second entry for CupcakeQueenForever's Contest. If you read my other stories I promise an update on at least one if not two stories should be up tonight or tomorrow.
Song: 'Hurricane' by Bridgit Mendler
Plot: Set somewhere while Rose is still in the academy. It can be a post shadowkissed but Dimitri was never turned or it can be somewhere in shadowkissed. Rose and Dimitri have admitted their feelings to each other but Dimitri still struggles with their relationship being right or wrong. Rose is tired of it they are constantly fighting because of his conflicted feelings and Rose doesn't know how much more she can take of this crazy storm of his.
I don't why I keep playing his games. It's like one minute he's into me and we're just fine, then the next he's cold and has his guardian mask up again. Yesterday we were just fine, this morning I go into the gym for training and he's got his stupid mask up which of course pissed me off. I went to go run my laps and he didn't even look up.
We have had this silent agreement thing where we were together almost when we were alone. When it was just us there were quite a few stolen kisses and a lot of tension but then there were days like today when he'd start to think about what we were doing and start pulling away. Honestly I was getting tired of it.
I finished my laps and went back inside to spar. He of course pinned me most of the time but the last round I used my anger to fuel me and ended up with him beneath me on the mats. I looked in his eyes and I could see all the emotion built up in them, lust, desire, guilt, reluctance, pride. I knew he wouldn't act on his feelings and would just let all the different emotions cloud his mind so I leaned down and kissed him. He slowly started kissing me back but then all of a sudden he froze then pushed me off of him.
"We can't Rose," he said not even using his usual nickname for me.
"Why not? It was fine yesterday!" I said pissed tired of this torrent of confusing signals from him. This is not the first time this is happened and that's what really pisses me off. Its like we go through this storm where its nothing but anger, built up tension, and his guilt. Then there are days when it feels like the storm has passed and we're back to normal. Days where he admits he loves me just like I love him, but then the storm comes again.
"We shouldn't have done that yesterday. I am your mentor and we're both Lissa's guardians. We can't do this and we can't be together. Plus I don't love you like that."
"Cut the shit Dimitri we both know you're lying you just won't admit it to yourself. You know what I'm tired of this Dimitri! I'm tired of days and days of arguing just to get one or two good days. I can't handle this hurricane anymore so you need to decide and when you do let me know!" I yelled then stormed out.
I ran back to my dorm room and threw myself on the bed. I tried my hardest not to cry but all these built up emotions just started pouring out. It was so frustrating not knowing how he's going to be one day from the next. I am so tired of fighting through all the bad days just to get a few moments of being happy with him.
I'd like to say I'm done with him but I know me. As soon as he comes in and gives me his cute little apologetic smile my heart will melt all over again just for him to be all cold the next day. It happens every time. Every time we fight like this and every time I forgive him. I am seriously going to get whiplash from all these emotions.
Not anymore, this time I'm done and it's for good! I will not be drawn back in by his irresistibly cute faces….that make me want to forgive him just by thinking about him. NO! This time I am seriously done! D-O-N-E DONE! Over it! Finito! Hasta lavista! Done! (I'm not even sure what half of those mean but they sound good in my little internal rantings). Dimitri Belikov will no longer hold my fragile heart in his hands! Never again! No siree, I am DONE with him!
I put on one of my sexiest outfits, made mostly out of leather and silk, and headed downstairs just to prove how over him I am. Unfortunately I didn't make it very far. As I opened the door to the dorms I saw HIM standing there talking to another guardian with a smile on his face as if he was just fine. Now if I had really looked closely I would have noticed how it was a fake smile and how he was hiding pain in his eyes but, I let my own emotions consume and didn't look twice. I turned around and stormed back up to my room telling the lady at the desk I didn't feel very well. When I got to my room my tears came back. That pissed me off yet again! Why was I in here crying over him? How is it fair that while I'm up here crying my eyes out he's outside happy as can freaking be! I saw a picture of me and him that I had taken a few weeks ago on one of his good days, in a picture frame on my desk I quickly picked it up and threw it. I then started throwing everything on the desk at the wall. When I was cleared off I had lost a little bit of the anger. Tears were still pouring down my face but I didn't care. I was fed up! I wasn't exaggerating when I told him I'm tired of his freaking hurricane but I know me and I'll soon forgive him but that pisses me off even more! Why am I so weak and he's so strong? It's not fair! I threw myself back on my bed and just laid there. All of a sudden there was a knock on my door.
"Go away!" I yelled knowing who it was.
"Roza if you don't open the door I'll break it down," he warned.
"Yea explain that one to Kirova!" I yelled back knowing he wouldn't do it because then he would have to explain it and he had no good reason without giving us away.
"I'll find a reason later. You have 10 seconds, 1, 2, 3"
"Oh my geeze just leave me alone!" I yelled before yanking the door open.
"I can't do that," he said calmly walking in.
"Why the hell not?"
"Because you were right,"
"I normally am," I muttered.
"Can you shut up and let me talk?"
"No because I want you to leave!"
"Well that's not going to happen!" he said forcefully leaving no room for argument.
"Well go ahead and talk, I'm going to take a nap," I said purposely trying to piss him off. I laid on my bed and faced the wall.
"Why are you so infuriating!" he said frustratedly.
"Welcome to my life," I said softly, refusing to look at him. I knew if I heard him out and if I made eye contact I would cave that much sooner. I felt the bed dip down and then I felt him gently tug on my shoulder.
"Please look at me," he said softly.
"Damn you!" I muttered angrily turning towards him. I was now laying on my back looking up at him while he was laying on his side. I could see all the emotions in his eyes and knew I was done for.
"You were right I need to quit changing my mind. I've decided. I can't live without you no matter how much I try. I am way too in love with you."
"For today," I said softly looking away from him.
"For good. I even talked to Alberta about getting reassigned when you graduate."
"Really?" I said trying to not get too hopeful. I've lived in this hurricane way too long to actually expect all good days now.
"Yep if Christian Ozera approves it I will be his official guardian."
"What about tomorrow when you find another reason that this is wrong? Then we're right back where we started."
"Well the only thing I can think of to get in our way is the age difference but as long as we're careful and don't get caught until graduation then we'll be ok. And if I do come up with some stupid reason to not be with the most amazing woman I know, then I know she'll tear my head off until I see reason again." He added with a chuckle. I couldn't help but smile with him because we both know he is right.
"So you're completely 100% serious this time? I don't know if I can keep going like we were." I admitted.
"I know," he said softly kissing my forehead. "But this time I am completely 100% serious," he said with that little smile that makes everything better. I smiled back up at him, then leaned up and kissed him.
I know we still will most likely have quite a few more of those hurricane days but for now all is calm and I'm happy. Screw the damn hurricane days, kisses like these completely wash those days away.