14Hello there! This is the oneshot I promised! ENJOY!
Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? *ducks from rocks thrown at head* OK OK! I WILL! I do not own SP. That's that.
Three girls gather in a darkened basement, each taking a seat at a single round table in the centre of the basement. The first was considerably older than the other two, her eyes full of mischief. The second was the youngest, bouncing with excitement only to calm when the third and second oldest girl shot her a look of rebuke. The oldest cleared her throat and spoke, "Ahem! Everyone, let's start this monthly meeting of the admins of OPERATION: Prank Skulman." At the background, there are numerous cheers and babbling; only quieting down when the oldest raised an air horn threateningly.
"As I said before, this meeting is for the admins, but due to our recent popularity, I've decided to allow the fangirls and followers to join in." The oldest continued. Again, there's noise, which made her eyebrow twitch and send a death glare at the nearest fangirl in sight, which happened to no older than 12. The girl gasped, paled, then dropped dead, causing a hush to spread, while the second glared at the oldest, scolding her.
"RAYCH!" The oldest cringed before replying.
"They were being noisy so you can't blame me Anna!" Raych shot back.
Adrianna, otherwise known as Anna or Kate, merely glared heavily at Raych till she sighed resignedly and walked over to the dead fangirl, whispering, "Valkyrie and Skulduggery are snogging." The news made the fangirl pop up and shriek her delight as she ran to her fellow Valduggery fangirls. Raych returned to her seat, only to pause and stare suspiciously at the youngest, who attempted to stifle her giggles.
"What did you do now, Sam?" Raych asked in a deceptively soft tone. This made Sam, also known as Sammie, giggle even harder before falling off her chair and roaring with laughter. The other two exchanged glances, a quick discussion exchanged.
R: Did she eat skittles again?
A: Could be. They're the only stuff to make her react like this.
R: *sighs heavily* Remind me to empty her hoard of Skittles after this.
S: *stops laughing and screams* NOOO! MY SKITTLES!
Raych settled into her seat before speaking once more. "All right, today I wish to discuss our on-going prank war against the SP crew. Anna, you're the one in charge of Art and vandalism. What do you have for us?"
Anna smirked before distributing various pictures of Skulduggery in hilarious costumes and also one of him in a pink suit. There was also a picture of his precious Bentley painted in pink, a decal declaring 'MARRIED TO SANGUINE' plastered on the windshield as well. This made Raych roar with laughter even as she tossed the pictures to the fangirls who had similar reactions. "Anna, you're the best. What about you Sam? You're in charge of brainstorming ideas."
Sam giggled and spoke. "I spoke to a few friends of mine, and we got the idea of gluing Skul to his armchair. We're just waiting for a time where he drops his guard and we can act." Raych nodded in approval at this, before continuing.
"As you all know, I'm in charge of posting our ideas on FanFiction, and also promoting our page as well. As head admin and designated writer, I am pleased to tell you that we have overwhelming reviews all giving their suggestions. I would like to take the chance to introduce our latest member, Adrienn." A girl stepped forward then, her shirt proudly declaring 'I HEART Sebastian Michaelis' as she bowed to the admins.
"Yo! Be awesome guys!" Adrienn said, giving the admins a flirty salute. Raych gave way to a smug smile. "Adrienn has proved herself worthy of joining us - " Raych didn't get to finish as the crowd gave way to hearty 'BOOs' and several fangirls wept. Raych rolled her eyes at this, and roared.
"OH WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE -"
"Raychaell Dionzeros DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT SENTENCE!" Anna hollered, causing a hush to fall once more. Raych grumbled, but sat back down before speaking again. "As I was saying, Adrienn has much potential, so she would be my apprentice for the time being till she finishes the trials to become one of us. Adrienn, to become one of us, you must
1. Endure 'The Ridicule of the Fangirls'
2. Start a Prank War
3. Hold a ridiculous conversation with Skul and make him go insane.
Adrienn thought this through before replying. "Ridicule of fangirls? Well, they can ridicule me all they want, but I won't pay it any mind. I'm too awesome. But the prank; do it with who and where? And what kind of prank-the prank where you just put people in a funny situation or the kind where you play cupid? Other than those, I think that I can do that." Adrienn said with a nod.
"Ok, while Adrienn does her trials, I have news for you! A reviewer, whom I shall call Sapphire, told me of a rather excellent prank she did on Skul." Raych said, eliciting a low murmur of excitement from the crowd. Sam bounced in her seat in excitement, babbling, "Tell us already!"
Raych smirked, and continued. "I have video evidence of this wonderful prank, so let's watch it! Fangirls, can someone set up the projector?" There was a small scuffle as the more technological adept fangirls fought to set up the projector quickly, then stood back as Raych approached with a CD. She inserted the CD into a video player, and everyone settled down to watch.
[Video start] (Credit goes to SapphireShadowGirl for this one shot.)
Three girls sneak into Skulduggery's home. They exchanged giggles among themselves as they scanned their surroundings cautiously. One of them spotted a familiar detective mediating away in his armchair and quickly pointed him out to the rest. All three of them had a sudden epiphany and had a quick discussion. With identical nods, one slipped out while the other two made their own preparations.
Sapphire (Short for SapphireShadowGirl): *whispers* I can't wait to do this!
Jasmine (friend of Sapphire): *giggles* He's gonna be so pissed when he wakes up but it will be worth it!
Scarlet (friend of Sapphire): *lugging a bag full of makeup cases. Loud whisper* OI! HELP OUT A LITTLE WOULD YA!
The other two cringe at this, and only after a fearful glance at Skulduggery to ensure he's still asleep; they hurry to help their friend. The equipment was speedily set up, and the girls carefully got to work.
[2 hours later]
The three girls are still busy painting Skulduggery to notice the familiar roar of a motorbike. They didn't hear lowered voices, and only looked up when they heard someone gasp in shock. Their heads shot up so quickly that they would later complain of neck cramps. For now, they could only stare in horror as Tanith and Valkyrie started spluttering in their anger at the sight of them near Skulduggery.
Valkyrie: What the hell?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!
Tanith: *hand strays to sword* Step away from Skulduggery right this instant!
Sapphire: WAIT! Don't freak out! We're not doing anything wrong! *raises hands in surrender*
Valkyrie: *glares* You call attacking a sleeping Skulduggery nothing wrong?! HOW DARE YOU!
Jasmine: *opens her mouth to speak, then pauses as she digests the words* Wait – Huh? Attacking Skulduggery?
Scarlet: *confused* What makes you think we're attacking him?
Sapphire: Yea! That's just absurd!
Valkyrie: *suspicious* You're not?
Scarlet: *rolls eyes* Can't you see that we're giving Skulduggery a makeover?
Tanith: *blinks* Wait, what?
Valkyrie: A makeover? *evil grin* Can we join in?
Sapphire: *returns grin* Yes you may.
[3 hours later]
The girls step back to admire their handiwork. They glance dreamily at the newly redecorated Skulduggery with pleased smiles full of satisfaction. Skulduggery now has pink ribbons on his eye sockets, fancy glitter girl stickers on various spots on his skull, a pink beanie replacing his hat, and his suit spray painted to various shades of the rainbow.
Sapphire: We make a great team!
Scarlet: Skul's gonna be PISSED.
Jasmine: *lazy smile* Who cares?
Valkyrie: I knew I would find a use for that beanie!
Tanith: Especially those ribbons! Thank goodness you had them lying around in the first place! *gleeful smile*
There's movement from Skulduggery as the girls chat, not noticing that he was waking up until Jasmine happens to glance at him. She pales, and then hurriedly whispers to the rest, who staring at the slowly waking Skulduggery, make a snap decision and flee. Skulduggery wakes.
Skul: *stirs* I had the weirdest dream that someone was giving me a makeover. *shakes head* Whatever. *walks past a window, only to retract his path and stare at his reflection in dread* Oh no. *growls* That's it, whoever did this is doomed. *stalks off*
[Video end]
Raych settled back smugly as the video finished playing and spoke again. "Sam, Anne, I trust that this is sufficient payback for all the stuff Skulduggery sicced on us?" Both girls nodded.
"Raych, you are AWESOME. You really should have told me this earlier cos I wanted to invite Valkyrie and the rest." Sam said excitedly, causing the rest to freeze.
"Sam, what did you just say?" Anne whispered with a voice full of dread. Sam tilted her head in query.
"I just said that I wanted to invite the rest." Barely had she finished speaking when the doors slammed open, and Skulduggery and his friends appeared. This caused a shriek among the fangirls, who immediately stood up. Raych stood on the table, and roared out her challenge, raising a ballpoint pen from out of nowhere, yelling, "FANGIRLS, ASSEMBLE!" This challenge was taken up by the admins and fangirls who surged forward. Valkyrie seemed to pale at the sight of the fangirls, and barely managed to whisper, "Shit," When the fangirls surged forth and overwhelmed the SP Crew. The admins, upon seeing the beauty of their work, disappeared, along with the remaining fangirls who all clutched the clothing and possessions of their favorite characters.
Bonus endings:
A small fangirl, just barely sixteen years on, was clutching on to Erskine, who tried unsuccessfully to shake her off. She shrieked her delight in holding on to her idol, screaming, "I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES!"
Ghastly managed to escape from a mob of fangirls, sighing in relief at his escape, only to pale in horror when he realised that he was in his birthday suit. Horrified, he turned to grab his clothes from the fangirls, but he was too late, as they had all ran off, cackling their triumph.
Skulduggery fought off the fangirls the best he could without dealing them permanent injuries, and managed to get out. With an internal smirk of triumph at this success, he headed for his Bentley, only to stop and stare at the sight before him. His beloved Baby Doll, the apple of his eye, his treasure, his one and only Bentley, was…
GONE. Instead, it was a burning wreck, and already he could see the smoke curling over it.
Skulduggery let out a scream of despair, only to hear a small collection of giggles and a familiar engine purr. He whipped his head around only to see the prankster trio with Adrienn IN HIS PRECIOUS, UNDAMAGED BENTLEY. They were fleeing away in his Bentley. He tried to chase after them but it was too late; they had gained a large headstart and left him in their wake, cackling all the way. "NOOOO!" Skulduggery howled.
Valkyrie panted as she ran out of the basement. She scrubbed at her brow with the back of her hand, squinting at the bright sunlight. After checking she was safe, she headed for home, only to freeze as she heard a familiar voice drawl. "Hello there, Detective." Billy Ray Sanguine drawled, his voice full of amusement. Valkyrie closed her eyes, praying for peace of mind as she turned slowly. The hitman looked smug as he clutched a note in his hand.
"What do you want now Sanguine?" Valkyrie asked wearily.
Sanguine shrugged as he held up his note. "I was told to come here by this note. It says:
'Dear Sanguine,
We hereby invite you to The Basement where the current prank conference is held.
With love,
The admins of OPERATION: Prank Skulman.'
Sanguine dabbed away an imaginary tear at this point. "It's nice to know that I'm loved." He said happily. Valkyrie opened her mouth to retort, only to pale at the sight of a dust cloud. She closed her eyes and braced herself for the incoming impact of fangirls, only to cautiously open an eye when she heard a terrified scream. Then Valkyrie laughed when she saw the sight in front of her. The mobs of fangirls had spotted Sanguine, and were now kidnapping him.
"SAVE ME!" He screamed, but Valkyrie just laughed at the sight of a helpless Sanguine before walking away with a jaunty wave in his direction.
Tanith didn't know if she should feel relieved or fearful that she was free of the fangirls, and cast a dubious glance around her surroundings. She twitched violently every time she saw the shadows, fearing that the fangirls would appear and come for her sword, which they seemed to be scarily obsessed with. She walked forward some more till she came across a room which had a large screen in it. Curious, she walked closer, only to jump back in fright when the screen came on. Then she blinked when she saw the title displayed. "Battle: Tanith Low VS FGA (Fangirl Army). WHO WILL WIN?!" She read aloud. She snorted with derision clear in her tone. Of course I'll win! Tanith thought smugly to herself. No sooner had she thought that when she saw a tiny figure appear on the screen. It was Tanith herself; or to be clear, a mini cartoon version of herself. Tanith watched in fascination as her tiny avatar wielded a sword and scanned its surroundings, which was an empty room, with wariness. A text box appeared below and started commenting: TANITH LOW has entered the Battle Arena!
[Suddenly, a FANGIRL appears! The FANGIRL had a maniacal smile on her face as she faced TANITH.]
Tanith had four options: ATTACK, SWITCH POKEMON, BACKPACK, and RUN. The real Tanith chose ATTACK, which gave her four other options: SLASH, STAB, LUNGE, and KICK. Tanith chose STAB.
[TANITH stabs the FANGIRL! FANGIRL is hit, and loses 20 points! Health bar drops from 100 to 80.] Tanith smirked.
[FANGIRL chooses: FANGIRL SHRIEK! FANGIRL shrieks, causing TANITH to drop back and lose 30 points! TANITH's health drops from 100 to 70.] Tanith scowled. "A fangirl has more strength than me?! You have to be kidding me!" She muttered. When it was her turn to attack, she chose SLASH.
[TANITH slashed at the FANGIRL! FANGIRL is critically hit! FANGIRL now has 50 points health left!] "Now that's what I'm talking about!" Tanith crowed.
[FANGIRL switches places with: FANBOYS MOB! FANBOYS MOB charges at TANITH and TANITH is critically hit! TANITH's health drops from 70 to 0! TANITH loses! GAME OVER!] Tanith's jaw dropped at this. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN GAME OVER YOU STUPID GAME?! OI! ANSWER ME!" Tanith howled her anger. Then there was a sudden giggle from behind her. Turning with dread, Tanith faced a mob of boys who leered hungrily at her. "Oh shit." Was all she could manage before being knocked out.
Final Tally:
FGA: 5
SP Crew: 1 (Valkyrie got away, but we had to release her because we were scared of Darquesse.)
Moral of the story: You don't mess with the fangirls.
THE END!
Hope you guys enjoyed this! I do hope my pokemon game wasn't too awful since I haven't played in years! If there are no arguments, do review while I go back to The Seal of Stone! Until next time! RD, out.
~ Raychaell Dionzeros
P.S.
Did anyone spot the cameos I slipped in? If you can name them, I'll dedicate my next chapter to you! (Hint: There are three.)